Naruto : Venom

Later that Day, at the Mar House

”Oh Alvarcus! Look at you, shiny headband! I’m so proud of you. Our little shinobi!” Namika pulls me in for a closer look at the shiny piece of metal.

”Kaa-san! I am not little!”

”Yes you are. Now come here! Let’s see that headband!” Tou-san pulls me away from my doting kaa-san and playfully flicks my new forehead protector. ”Keep that safe. It means a great deal to shinobi.”

”Yes sir!” I give him a mock salute. The effect is lost on both of my parents, they just chalked it up to me being strange again.

Talk like that went on all night. One of my parents was always congratulating me or talking about how proud they are. We couldn’t leave the house since Mizuki and Naruto have the village on lock down.

My parents did seem truly proud of me. The entire night they were so happy for me. They must have finally gotten over their shinobi paranoia now that one is in the family.

”Alright Alvarcus. It’s time for bed. You have a big day tomorrow! It isn’t every day you meet your first sensei!”

”Okay tou-san. Night kaa-san, night tou-san.” Ah, it feels good to be a shinobi! I go to my bedroom and snuggle down to sleep. Then I hear faint whispers. Too faint to make out at first, but if I focus I can barely make out the words.

”Our son is following in that man’s footsteps.” Fujita whispers to his wife.

”I know. He seems so similar to him. Anti-social, reclusive. They’re both smart children, prodigies. The only reason Alvarcus isn’t considered one is because he fails on purpose.” Namika sounds defeated.

”Do you think...” Fujita doesn’t finish his sentence. I don’t think he could finish it, whatever he was going to say was too much for him.

”He’s still our son. He’s not him. Just because he looks similar to that man does not make him the same person. We won’t let our son turn out like him.”

”Then why did we let him go to the Academy? Why did we let him become a shinobi?”

”I don’t know. It was a moment of weakness and neither of us could tell him no after we said yes. It would crush him, Alvarcus never wanted to do anything more than to go to the Academy.”

”We should have said no.” Fujita grimly says.

”We should have.” Namika agrees.

At that moment I realized they wanted me to fail. They don’t want me to be a shinobi. Even after four years at the Academy they still don’t want me to become a shinobi. The one thing I want to do in this life my parents reject.

It hurts.

...

Next Day, at the Academy

”Alright gennin! Are you ready for your team assignments?” Iruka calls out to the sea of new shinobi.

Hell yeah I am ready! This is the real start of my ultimate badassery! To become a legend! To achieve the S-rank!

”Once I call your name your jonin sensei will come in and take you. Team 1:...”

At that point I tune Iruka out. I’ll pay attention once he says my name, until then I don’t care. I’ll get my team, we will kick ass, take names, and be awesome! Or die horribly. Honestly it could go either way.

”Team 7: Sasuke Uchiha, Sakura Haruno and -”

BANG!

”Oi. Iruka. You are Iruka right?” A tall an imposing man with flowing white hair barged into our classroom.

Who the hell is this guy? This didn’t happen in cannon. Did something go wrong? I do a quick head count of the new gennin. There’s one extra person here. Did I screw something by enrolling into the academy?

”Jiraya-sama?” Iruka sounds star struck.

Jiraya? He doesn’t show up until after the first 2 rounds of the Chunin Exams! What is he doing here?

”Cool. Right place. Hey! Which one of you kids is Naruto?” Jiraya addresses the new gennin.

No. This is not happening. No.

”I am! Who are you old man!” Naruto, shut up, sit down and wait for Kakashi like cannon! I refuse. This can not be happening.

”Who am I you ask! I am the legendary -”

”You are Jiraya of the Sannin. Student of the Third Hokage. Toad sage. Seal master. Pervert.” Jiraya face falls. He literally fell on his face. I didn’t expect that.

”Who said that? Who ruined my intro!” This is awkward. I probably shouldn’t have blurted that out. Note to self: Never interrupt people who can kill you with a napkin and make it look like an accident.

”Sorry? Was I wrong?” I timidly say.

Jiraya glares at me. Actually, the whole class is staring at me. How awkward. This is what I get for being the quiet kid in the back of the classroom, whenever I speak up it is a sign of the end of days.

”Yes! I am not a pervert!” Oh thank Kami. The show was wrong about that. There is hope yet!

”I am the legendary Super Pervert!” Never mind. He is insane. He actually tried to introduce himself with the dance and openly declared himself as a super pervert. Wow.

”Hey! Enough about Alvarcus! He’s boring! What did you want with me, Naruto Uzumaki, the future Hokage?”

Right. He wanted Naruto for something. Maybe to check the seal? Tell him about his parents?

”You’re Naruto Uzumaki? Let’s go.” Jiraya then proceeds to pick up Naruto, throw him over his shoulder, and leap out the window. Well, there goes the plot.

THERE GOES THE PLOT!

My future knowledge! All the things he is supposed to do! Sasuke’s rival, save the Land of Waves, stop Gaara, and least of all SAVE THE WORLD! What the hell is Team 7 going to do now? I really feel sorry for the person who replaces him. Without Naruto, that team is doomed to an early and violent grave.

”Ahem. How about I get back to the team announcements?” Iruka sheepishly says to the stunned gennin before him.

Oh right. That is still happening. Leave it to Iruka to keep us on track as if one of our classmates wasn’t just kidnapped.

”Like I was saying, Team 7: Sasuke Uchiha, Sakura Haruno, and Alvarcus Mar.”

I am dead. Very, very dead.

”Uh Iruka-sensei? There has to be a mistake.” Please say he is wrong. I don’t want to be on Team 7!

”There is no mistake Alvarcus. Now, I approve that you are finally voicing your opinion, but please be quiet.” Iruka scolds me. Fine. If he won’t listen to reason then he will listen to logic!

”But Sasuke is the rookie of the year, and Sakura is the highest ranked kunoichi! Aren’t they supposed to be paired with the dead last?” There! Refute that cold hard logic!

”That is correct. They are paired with the dead last.” Ha! I knew I would get off that team! Wait. What?

”I’m the dead last? I thought Naruto was!” This can’t be happening.

”As you can see, Naruto has his own personal teacher. Therefore, with him out of the running you are the dead last.”

Oh hell no! That can’t be right. There is no way! I always did my work. Now that I think about it, I always did a really terrible job at my homework and tests on purpose. Why did I do that? I found it funny at the time, but now I royally screwed myself over.

”Now if I can continue, Team 8 is ...” Iruka keeps on talking.

I tune the world out. What am I going to do? I am on Team 7. Team 7! The one that all the crazy stuff happens to. Oh Kami, I have to face Orochimaru during the Chunin Exams. That’s like 4 months away! I am not ready.

I take it back. I don’t want to be a shinobi. I want to be a baker. Baking sounds nice, nice and safe, no snake men trying to give my teammates a cursed hickey of doom.

”Are you okay?”

I jolt out of my internal rant, flinching rather badly. Sakura is looking at me. Sasuke is staring out the window. There is no one else left in the classroom. When did everyone leave? How long was I freaking out for?

”Hey, Alvarcus, you okay? You haven’t moved at all for like hours. Even Sasuke moved to a window seat. Are you nervous?” Sakura asked me.

Okay, deep breath, then calmly reply. You can do this. Just because you are on Team 7 does not mean you have to go through all that terrible stuff they do.

I doubt I even have Kakashi as a sensei. Who am I trying to fool? There is no way the Elder Council did not get Kakashi to be Sasuke’s sensei. He is the only one with experience wielding a Sharingan in Konoha.

”I am rather nervous. I hope we have a good jonin sensei.” I calmly respond.

There. Small sentences. Wait until you are done freaking out for big words and tough concepts. In fact just nod from now on. Good plan! Sakura is still talking at me. Have I nodded recently? I’m not sure, I better do it anyways.

Finally the door to the classroom opens. Kakashi pokes his head in. ”My first impression of you, I don’t like you.”

And you’re an asshat.

Sasuke’s head whips around to stare at me. Sakura opens her mouth in horror. Kakashi tilts his head in mild amusement?

”Meet me on the roof in 5 minutes.” Kakashi vanishes into a swirl of leaves.

”Why did you say that!” Sakura hisses at me.

”Say what? I didn’t say anything.”

Sasuke, opening his mouth for the first time that day, bluntly states, ”You call our sensei an asshat.”

”That was out loud?”

Sakura nods her head in disbelief.

”Well damn. There goes the good first impression. We better get to that roof.”

I sprint out the room. That was monumentally stupid.