My Living Shadow System Devours To Make Me Stronger

Chapter 1216: Chapter 1217: About Ranar

Damon was quite careful to make sure no one saw him. It was the dead of night, and apart from the night watch, the camp was quiet.

He slipped between the tents until he reached Abellona’s large tent, then slowly made his way inside. When he entered, he found her sitting in a large chair as if she had been waiting for him. She was resting her head against one hand while the other picked up a sour fruit and popped it into her mouth.

”You didn’t need to sneak around. You could have just walked in,” she muttered.

Damon smiled. The long female hair of the body he was possessing had been tied into a ponytail. He adjusted it over his shoulder before walking toward Abellona.

”So how do we do this? I can’t promise anything with this body, but I do have fingers and, well, a tongue, so—”

”No!”

Abellona cut him off with a sharp glare.

Damon sighed and shook his head.

”I miss my body already. So if that’s not what you want, then Goddess knows you’re thirsty, and I’m a real tall drink of water. What do you want to talk about?”

Abellona remained quiet for a moment before glancing at him.

”What did it feel like raising Ranar?”

Damon’s expression softened.

He thought for a moment, picturing his daughter’s adorable face.

”She was a menace to society. I had to do everything in my power to raise her right. Being a parent is so hard, especially when they’re born. Did I ever tell you about the phases of a baby’s growth?”

He raised a hand, a smile slowly spreading across his face.

”You see, we have the infant stage, right when they’re born, and boy, do they look like hairless rats. This is the part where we pretend they look beautiful instead of admitting they’re absolutely ugly, but you love them so much that you just convince yourself they’re beautiful.”

He paused, his expression becoming strangely thoughtful.

”Then comes the next part. Now, this is worth the wait. Somewhere between the first few months and three years... ahhh.”

He nodded to himself as if reliving the memories.

”This is what I call the maximum cuteness phase. During this phase, they’re so unbelievably cute that you could just die. They’re fluffy, adorable little creatures, and everything they do makes you smile.”

He sighed.

”And then everything goes downhill from there.”

”You get the smart mouth, the attitude, and even the occasional blackmail.”

He glanced at Abellona, who simply stared at him.

”I plan to write a book on that one of these days. I mean, I raised my Ranar to be an upstanding member of society. Sure, some critics might say I left most of it to Eva, my sister, Iris, and my aunt, but those are all naysayers.”

He spread his hands.

”Any more questions?”

Abellona realized that Damon genuinely enjoyed talking about Ranar, and that made her feel a little better about what she was about to say.

”So then, you didn’t face any challenges raising a child without her mother? I mean, Wendy is her mother, right?”

Damon’s expression became forlorn.

”Yeah. She was. She really wanted a child. It was sort of her one wish. Her death was because of my failings.”

His gaze lowered.

”Sometimes I wonder if Ranar ever thinks of her. But one thing I can say for sure is that Ranar never had to miss her mother.”

His heart suddenly ached as he thought of the golden-haired woman who had raised Ranar and taken on the role of her mother.

”Eva made sure she never had to miss her mother. She took on the maternal role of a mother and the role of a warrior all at once. She taught her most of what she knew, and since they looked so much alike, it was easy for them to pass themselves off as mother and child.”

Damon sat down in a nearby chair, his fingers unconsciously rubbing together as he bit his lip.

”You know, Abellona, Evangeline had to put up with a lot of things, but I know she loved Ranar very much. One of my biggest fears was that my daughter would grow up to become like me.”

He lowered his head for a moment.

”I didn’t want her to be sad or depressed. I didn’t want her to think that life was nothing but torment, or that being born was the greatest sin against oneself.”

He raised his head and looked at Abellona.

”I really wanted her to believe life was harmless and gentle, that love always won, and every tale had a happy ending. Even if I knew that wasn’t the case. Life would test you. It would break you and torment you. But maybe I was wrong to try to shield her from that.”

His thoughts drifted toward Ranar and Ric’s most recent misadventures in the Anarchy Mountains.

A lot of things would have been easier if Ranar simply used her full power and killed everyone who stood in her way.

But did he really want that for his ten-year-old daughter?

”Blood and death. Fear and despair. Anarchy and war.”

His voice grew quieter.

”When you’re a killer, everything becomes a reason to kill.”

He paused.

”Murder is a habit.”

His lips curled into a faint smile.

”The first kill is always the hardest. After that, it becomes mundane.”

He looked at Abellona and noticed that her expression hadn’t changed.

Damon was fine sharing this with her.

In a way, they were already connected by more than just a secret affair.

”I still don’t want my daughter to turn out like me. Mad, terrified, paranoid...”

He sighed.

”And I’m sure I’ll pay dearly for my crimes. But you know, a part of me is fine with that.”

His gaze became distant.

”Isn’t that the lesson I wanted her to learn? That evil doesn’t go unpunished. That people can still be good.”

Carmen Vale had taught him as much years ago, when he was younger. He hadn’t understood it then.

Maybe now he finally did.

The truth was indeed a steel horse. It might be slow, but it would always arrive.

Abellona smiled.

Her ruby-red eyes seemed to carry a gentle light Damon rarely saw in her.

”You would go that far for her?”

”I would gladly jump into the abyss,” he answered without hesitation.

Abellona nodded slowly.

”Then what would you say to a second one? It could be a boy or a girl. You can’t decide that, though. It could even be twins or triplets.”

Damon raised his hand, then immediately sneered.

”Yeah, no. I’ll stop you right there. Children are menaces to society. I’ll pass, thank you very much.”

Abellona’s expression suddenly grew cold.

”You can’t pass. It’s already too late for you.”

Damon raised a brow, confused.

”I’m pregnant.”

”It ain’t mine,” he replied immediately