My Living Shadow System Devours To Make Me Stronger

Chapter 773: Chapter 774: Worst Off Without Truth

“A god does not die when their body breaks. Or when their power fades. Or even when another god strikes them down.”

Lazarak seemed truly unnerved now. Damon was not sure if it was the nature of this place, the trial of truth, or maybe the mirror seraph’s power still lingering in the air, but Lazarak seemed terrified even with his calm expression.

“We live as long as someone believes we matter. That is our heartbeat. That is our breath.”

He swallowed. He was here before man, before people, so why did being remembered even matter to him? It shouldn’t.

“And that is why I am terrified.”

The darkness around him flickered.

“I am the god of peace, Damon. Peace is not loud. It is not worshipped. It is not sung in temples. It is not carved into monuments. Peace is the thing mortals want… until they have it. And then they forget who gave it to them.”

He clutched at his chest as if something inside was hurting.

“Do you know how many times in history I have been erased? How many tribes slept peacefully and forgot to whisper my name afterward. How many kingdoms lived in harmony and believed it was because of themselves, believing they had won it.”

“When it is calm and peaceful no one remembers god. Until it all falls apart. Then they want god to fix it all. I am the little thing no one appreciates. A brief prelude to war.”

“I advocate for peace, Damon. But every time I give it… I lose myself. Every time people are safe, they forget me. Every time the world quiets, I become… less.”

He stared at his small hands.

“That is why I cling to you. That is why I act how I please. Why I talk. Why I laugh. Why I insert myself into your story.”

He wore a tiny, fragile smile.

“Because when I am with you… I do not feel forgotten.”

He reached out, barely touching Damon’s knees, as if he feared he might vanish if he pressed too hard.

“I do not want to disappear. I do not want to be a quiet god fading into nothing. I do not want to be a story no one tells anymore.”

His voice cracked.

“I want to exist. I want someone to remember me. Even if it is just you.”

The light in his eyes dimmed to a whisper.

“That is my true fear. Not the violence of war. Not the mercy of death. Not the cruel inevitable hand of destiny. It is the nameless oblivion. More than the goddess. This is my fear.”

Damon understood some things. He recalled that when he had first met Lazarak, the darkness had seemed almost relieved to be recognized by him.

Lazarak feared oblivion. Damon feared control. He feared what Lazarak did not. He feared the inevitable hand of fate…of God.

“You truly are a magnificent god, Lazarak. I am ashamed to say I fall short. That is why I cannot understand why you want to be remembered by the likes of me. My story will end soon when I obtain what I wish for.”

Lazarak smiled at Damon.

“You will endure. Like you always have. It is not your fate to rest here, my friend.”

Damon narrowed his eyes. While he did not bring it up, he still had the spear Lazarak had given him.

Its name was Mutuwa. Its nature was death. And Damon had saved it to end his own life.

“I wonder what makes the true gods so different from gods like you.”

Lazarak chuckled lightly.

“For one I am designed to imitate the old ones while having the feeling of the new gods. But the difference is simple.”

“I am still a new god.”

He raised his hand.

“To a true god death is not real. Destruction is reversible. Suffering is fleeting. Memory is existence. Rules are foldable and time is optional. When they act they are not cruel. They are simply acting the way an immutable being would.”

Damon sighed, shaking his head as he looked at the goddess statue.

“I do not understand you, Lazarak, but I am painting a picture.”

Lazarak smiled softly.

“I hope it is a good looking picture. I would hate to be ugly.”

Damon crossed his arms, looking at Lazarak.

“I would love to remember you, but sadly I would be too dead for that.”

“But if I endure once more… I will remember that there is a god who lived before anyone else.”

Lazarak tilted his head with a thin smile.

That was enough for him.

He glanced at the goddess statue with a soft laugh.

“The trial of truth has been completed and the mirror seraph is asleep which is good for us, but the next trial will not be easy.”

Damon sighed. He really hated to admit it but the whole trial of truth had been unnerving. Even after they took down the mirror seraph he and Lazarak still had to tell each other truths.

It was a given that true gods could not die, so Damon did not really have a way to deal with the Unknown God who seemed even more powerful.

But Damon had learned something important about himself.

He was afraid. Of Unknown.

Having a god looming over you and giving you choices to pick from was terrifying.

Damon only knew to defy. So why would the Unknown God want him.

Still Damon did not change his mind. He would absolutely end his life. He just wanted to see how the Unknown God would stop him now.

The trial of truth was complete and it only left Damon feeling worse off than before. Admitting the truth was a bitter affair. Hopefully the next trial would not be as bad.

This was the third trial.

Lazarak walked to the goddess statue. It must be the gateway to the next trial.

“Now we will challenge the next trial.”

Matia had been patrolling the perimeter, giving Damon and Lazarak space. She returned, standing next to Damon.

“What is the trial called.” Damon asked. “Hopefully it will not be like this one.”

Lazarak bit his lip then cleared his throat.

“It is called the trial of sin.”

Damon looked down with a dazed expression.

“Ahhh I am screwed.”

He was sure it would be a hellish mental journey and just like this one he would fail it.

He glanced at Matia.

“Matia I will be counting on you.”

She nodded slowly as Lazarak began to give them a rundown. Damon gritted his teeth.

This bastard did not tell them about a trial until they finished the previous one.

’I knew he had details of all the trials.’