My Living Shadow System Devours To Make Me Stronger

Chapter 638: Chapter 639: I Know Too Much

He let out a warm puff of air from his lungs. Time really flew by so quickly. It was already starting to get colder.

Winter was here… except Damon didn’t have his usual winter worries.

At this time of the year, he would have been thinking of ways to survive the winter with his sister gathering wood for fires, stocking whatever food he could find or steal, collecting fabrics to wear, all while avoiding members of the underworld who would seek to trouble the two siblings.

Except now, it was different. It was almost as if winter was here to make him suffer, though this time the anguish came from his heart and perhaps from the lingering damage to his soul.

His situation had changed. He no longer worried about those things. He was well dressed, a roof over his head was a small matter, and he didn’t need to fear being attacked by miscreants.

Right now, at this very moment, he was standing in one of the most exalted places in the empire.

This was a place only the rich and powerful could stand, overlooking the grand lights of the Valtheron capital city.

Then why did he feel so disturbed?

He sat on the balcony railings. It was quite the fall from here, and Damon wasn’t even supposed to be up this high. He just didn’t want anyone to follow him, so he had teleported himself here.

His only company was a bottle of alcohol.

He sighed again.

“Whatever it is you want to tell that bottle, do share…”

He heard a soft voice behind him, the wind carrying with it the faint scent of gardenias.

He chuckled softly.

“You’re late… or maybe it would be better to say you missed the banquet…”

A red-haired young woman walked up to him. She wore a long dress with a slit along with a corset. Her neck was adorned with a necklace made with an emerald-like gem that matched her green eyes. Her long hair was styled beautifully, shimmering faintly under the lights.

“Hmmm, I wouldn’t say I missed it since it’s still ongoing. These things usually last the whole night.”

Damon took a deep breath, sucking in the night air.

Lilith leaned on the railings beside him, her emerald eyes narrowing with curiosity.

“What’s got you so down? There’s a room full of young nobles for you to harass, but yet here you are sulking alone. You didn’t even try to steal their trinkets and blame it on whoever annoys you the most.”

Damon closed his eyes.

“Well yeah… I don’t feel like it.”

She took a single step forward, then jumped up to sit on the railing next to him. Together they looked out over the city, fireworks blooming above the lights of a celebratory night.

“Is it Godric Ravenscroft…” she whispered.

Damon didn’t say anything. He only grabbed the bottle and tried to bring it to his mouth, but failed as Lilith snatched it from his hand instead.

She raised it to her lips and drank, her boldness catching his eye. His gaze flickered as he watched her do something so unlady-like.

“No talking means no drinking.”

Damon narrowed his eyes at her.

She smiled slyly.

“I wonder how much I can drink in one night… oh, and by the way, you’re free to take advantage of me if I’m drunk.”

Damon’s eyes narrowed further.

“Is that a threat?”

She giggled, leaning her head against his shoulder.

“Only if you don’t talk to me. So tell me. I have all the answers… at least I hope I do.”

Damon scoffed, nudging her lightly with his elbow.

“That is the least reliable thing I’ve ever heard.”

Her eyes softened as she glanced at him.

“Hmmm, we won’t know until you tell me. Or we can just linger here together and drink the night away, accomplishing nothing.”

Damon turned away from her. Having her here was what he wanted anyway. Who else could he trust more than Lilith?

“I’ve been thinking over my life’s choices… my most recent choice actually… you know.”

She narrowed her eyes, then shook her head with a smile.

“What about your life’s choice? You’re doing what every other person is doing. Living.”

“It’s not that…” Damon whispered.

He glanced at the bottle in her hand, taking it back from her and taking a sip.

“Do you remember when I first let my shadow take over… and lost control?”

She nodded slowly. How could she forget that?

“Yes… you killed Lark Bonaire and left your footprint, which I found. Then you proceeded to kill the rest of his friend group while I tried to figure out who was doing it, or rather prove that you were the one.”

She took the bottle and drank from it, her eyes half-lidded.

“Good times… what about it?”

Damon leaned on his arms, staring into the night sky.

“I could have made better choices back then. I could have just accepted what the system wanted instead of stubbornly denying the inevitability of my starvation.”

He glanced at her again.

“I appreciate it… I appreciate that you intentionally didn’t bring up the fact that my choice led me to kill Carmen Vale.”

A choice which made Iris an orphan.

Lilith sighed, then turned toward him.

“We shouldn’t bring up the past. You don’t want to reopen old wounds or stay still long enough for them to catch up.”

Damon felt frustrated with himself, his grip tightening on the bottle.

“…. When I take off my crown… do you know what I see? What I hear?”

Lilith’s eyes shifted toward him, quietly waiting.

“I see my shame… the voices in my head remind me of all the things I’ve done. My own mind knows that at my core I am… I am…”

He sighed, taking another drink.

“I can act like it’s okay… but it’s not. I can smile and laugh, but I hate how fake those are too…”

He let out a low chuckle.

“You wanna know what kind of man I am? Well, I’ll tell you—”

Lilith pressed her hand on his lips, her emerald eyes locking onto his with a piercing glare.

“You want to know what kind of man you are? I’ll tell you the kind of man you are.”

Her eyes peered deeply into him, unwavering.

“You’re the man that I love.”

Damon’s eyes widened slightly.

There was a squeeze at his chest, his heart stirred.

But she didn’t stop there.

“I’ll tell you about him… because I know too much.”