My Alleged Husband

Chapter 2335: Chapter 2168: Unable to Breathe

How many times have I been in such pain that I couldn’t breathe, yet is what I desire really so difficult to satisfy?

”Since even you yourself have said it, that man told you in person that he no longer has any feelings for you, why do you still stubbornly insist on being with him?

Is it that I’m not good to you, or am I somehow not as good as her? Is it that I’m not good-looking, or have I wronged you in some way? Why are you doing these heartless and cruel things to me?

In your heart, have you never considered me as your husband? Is the safety of our family so insignificant in your eyes? Where have you put your family? Since you initially chose to start a family with me, you have to take responsibility for it. What are you treating each member of this family as? As pawns that you can discard as you please?”

Zhang Zhentian became more and more furious the more he thought about it. He had never imagined that his wife would one day turn out like this.

He couldn’t understand how the once lively and cheerful woman he knew had become like this. Why does everything he says and does seem worthless and wrong in her eyes?

Maybe he would never realize that when someone no longer loves another, no matter how they try to win them over, it’s useless. It seems like they still care, but in the end, it means nothing.

”Don’t say that. I was really, really happy during the time I was with you, and you once gave me everything I wanted. You asked me and I would stop at nothing. But did you ever consider what kind of life I really wanted? What would be our outcome if we stayed together? Your unilateral decisions repeatedly blocked my life!

Did you ever think about what kind of life I want? Every day, I live in unbearable pain. Who has ever given me the happiness I wanted? Again and again, I’m torn between illnesses and torments, longing for the life I desire. But in the end, what did you all give me?

I once asked him if he could keep crying and laughing with me, but ultimately, I couldn’t exchange anything for it. Whenever I hugged him from behind, did you know my heart was crying out in pain? At that moment, it was very, very painful. I truly wanted to hold him forever and never let go. I wished time would forever stop at that moment. But would heaven actually pay that much attention to me? Of course not!

When I hug her, again and again, I pray deep down, asking the heavens to slow time down or stop it forever, to never let it pass. But when I looked up, I realized that time still went by, and he still turned around. At that moment, I was left alone waiting quietly at the original place. How lonely and desperate I felt, who could understand?

You might think it’s selfish to be so self-centered, but do you know that what I want is so simple? As long as I can stay by his side, nothing else matters to me.

All these years, I’ve thought of others first, but in the end, I’ve gained nothing. In my heart, this is a failure. No matter how much I think of others, what am I in their eyes?

Ignoring the torment of illness, I chose to be with him. All I wanted was to see him smile, even if my heart was bleeding. As long as he smiles, I can still be happy.

You might think it’s foolish and naive of me, but do you know that this is true love? I don’t need him to give me any love now, nor do I need him to focus on me. As long as I can give him my love and heart, that’s enough. No matter if I end up covered in scars or gain my lifelong happiness, I just want to be without regret. I’ve lost him time and again, and I don’t want to lose him anymore. If I lose him again, I don’t know how long I can continue to live...”

Zhang Zhentian never thought that his wife loved that man so deeply, to the point where her life didn’t matter. In her eyes, what was he, her husband? Just an emotional crutch, time and again? Is it really just because of transference?

”I never imagined that you could love him so deeply. You would do anything for him, even risk your life. Why couldn’t you do the same for me, just once? I remember when we were together, you acted so passionately in love with me. At that moment, I really felt like I was in a happy paradise. But in the end, I realized it was just the beginning of a painful hell!

Even if you never want to be with me in this life, even if I’m not in your heart, can you consider my feelings? I just want to live a healthy and happy life. Just a little happiness, even a tiny bit, would be enough. But in all these years, have I ever been happy? No! I’ve run around for you, wandering the world. I gave up my whole family for you and endured the agony of longing.

I knew my father eagerly awaited my return every day. I knew he was always looking out for our family reunion.

But even though I knew all this, for your happiness, I chose to pretend I didn’t know. Do you know how desperate I felt? Do you know how hard my father lived? You never considered what kind of life we wanted. Your decisions always served your desires alone!

Aren’t you the one who’s truly self-centered? Don’t you have any awareness of your actions?

Stop dreaming that others will forgive you, because the things you’ve done make it impossible for them to forgive you. You’ll live in your pain and never come out, because there’s no turning back for you in this life. You’ll only suffer the torments of pain you face again and again. Ultimately, you’re just reaping what you’ve sown!”

After all that, Zhihan left.