Master Of None

Remey’s feet eventually brought her to the alchemist building, she let herself in through the members entrance and headed up a set of stairs. Some younger members spotted her on the second floor and were dead set on kicking her out the second they saw her. It was obvious that she was not an alchemist in any way. 

”This area is for members only! You are trespassing somewhere you do not belong, leave before we call the guards and have you banned for life!” One of three alchemists barely at the age of twenty approached her just at the top of the stairs.

”Who made you a master alchemist huh? You three look like apprentices at best. You can’t even enter the third floor you’re too dumb still.” Remey was not a master of words and chose to insult them instead of explaining that she had indeed been a member longer than they had. 

”Go get the master alchemist! We will have you banned for insulting us and trespassing.” The tallest of the three stood there blocking the stairs upwards since he could see that Remey was trying to head that way.

”I swear if you don’t move in ten seconds I will beat you until you forget what the word alchemy means. Better yet I will knock all the information about cotton fungus from your brain than feed it to you!.”

This threat caused the two remaining apprentices to bite their tongues, this intruder was throwing around knowledge on rare ingredients like she knew what they did. ”Just because you have heard the name of something doesn’t change anything, I bet you can’t even tell us what it does!” The apprentice felt that he had just assured his dominance of the wannabe alchemist intruder. 

”Really? What idiot wouldn’t know?” Remey felt like she would have been getting further if she was talking to a wall than these two apprentices. ”Cotton fungus absorbs moisture ten times its own size. If someone like you were to eat it you would become dehydrated and on death’s door in a half hour. The only way you could survive is if someone valued your lack of a brain enough to feed you some sky salts.” Remey had just recited the knowledge like she had been reading from a textbook.

The perfect description was enough to keep the apprentices at bay for a moment. Not just anyone would have learned such things since the two potion ingredients were rare and did not come from any of the nearby areas. The cotton fungus was only found in the dry desserts past the mountains and the sky salts were found at the tops of mountains themselves near the sea.

”She is exactly right!” The voice of a familiar man echoed through the hallways. ”Now let’s figure out a proper punishment….hmmm The three of you will be in charge of scrubbing every single cauldron in the rental rooms until they are all shiny and new.” The old man finally stood behind the two other apprentices with the third behind him. ”Brat what are you doing here? Did you even show them your plaque that you have as a member? I swear you never take it with you when you come here.” 

The apprentices felt like they had switched worlds somehow, this intruder was actually a member? Even worse, their master knew her well enough to punish them for insulting her? ”Well who else would I come to bother? I need to get you to show me more good tricks before you fall in to your grave old man!” The insult was another slap to the apprentices, if they dared to even speak in the time Remey used they would be punished for weeks.

”Oho don’t worry, I will find a potion for immortality just so you have to see me every single time you walk through the door.” The old man’s smile was vicious but his eyes were kind. ”What are you three standing around for! Apologize then get off to scrubbing those cauldrons!” The three apprentices each gave Remey a proper apology then ran off. She knew they were not sincere since they did not really know who she was but as long as the annoyance was gone she did not care too much. ”Lets go to my own little lab, you can watch as usual.” The two of them climbed to the third floor which was reserved for the alchemists who ran the building. Their private alchemy labs were here. Only those with membership and permission could walk this floor. The only other floor that was in the building was the fourth top floor.

The fourth floor was only accessible to the highest ranked alchemists in the building because it was where they stored their research notes. Remey had only been once but had seen a magical skill that lets any writing on any paper turn invisible to only the one who wrote it or one that was granted permission. The skill that did this was inscribed on to a special platform and would activate every time there was mana channeled through it. The old man had once told Remey that the founder of the alchemist building possessed this skill and left it for them all to use in the future. 

” So how many of those vials have you used on your latest experiment? Any good progress?” Remey and the old man had entered in to a medium sized room full of various tools. There were beakers and test tubes above burners fitted with fire crystals that created small heat sources. The smell of burning herbs was strong but to Remey it was much more welcoming than anyone else would find it. The drying herbs by a small window looked meticulously strung together for maximum quality. Remey remembered the many different varieties she had seen since she had first come to this lab. The large cauldron on the middle of the room was fueled by a large amount of fire crystals at its base. The liquid inside was bubbling constantly showing Remey the various herbs that had been tossed in.

”Eh nothing yet, those stupid merchants need to get moving and bring in wormwood and tulip bulbs so I can mix them in to a potion to boost eyesight. The product I have now is just a poisonous goop.” Understandably unhappy with his current state the old man ruffled through various herbs from drawers that took up the whole wall of one side of the room. When Remey was little she believed that these drawers held the herbs that could cure any illness no matter how intense.

’You didn’t just come to watch today huh? You look like you visited a decent amount of the stalls like you used to whenever your siblings were sick. ”The old man got deadly serious and looked at Remey in the eye, ”What’s wrong?” He had seen this girl grow up in front of his eyes. She had been a nagging pain for him when she first showed up but eventually her rough personality matched his own along with his friends in the market. The resemblance was so close that a few of them had even started calling him her grandfather. But that was what he would get when a kid would follow him around pestering him about what herbs were good for chills, or fevers, or a runny nose. 

”Why would something be wrong? Huh?I can’t just come here and bring some stuff I was given.” Remey acted stubborn as always but quickly started gathering a beaker and some water from a bucket. She opened the drawers like she had done many times tossing in a few small herbs along with some she had been given while visiting the stalls in the markets. She places the large beaker on to a burner that was being heated by a fire element crystal. 

Once the water had started to simmer she opened the jar of honey to pour a bit into the simmering beaker. She pulled two small beakers from another drawer underneath a table and toured the brewed tea in to it making sure none of the large leaves came with the liquid. She shoved the tea in to the old man’s hands, ”That should fix your throat, you know nobody wants to hear you yelling like that.” It had been many years that the two had known each other and Remey had picked up a few tricks. This tea’s recipe was the best she could do to help someone who had raised their voice and harmed their vocal cord.

”Only you ever notice that my voice gets rougher after yelling.’ The old man sipped the tea and enjoyed the sweetness of the honey, ”Ha! That old bat had been hiding the best honey from me, I knew it!” 

Well why would she want to give it to you after you stepped on her cat’s tail, not once , but four times!” The old man could not angry, he had indeed stepped on her cat’s tail four times, as far as Remey knew, but it was actually five times now.