Massage Parlor for Unsatisfied Wives in Another World

”So, honey, why are you and Goldy staring at each other? Are you playing...? Can I join in?”

”We’re not playing. It’s just that I just noticed that thing was here all night.”

”Oh! Right, you don’t like it when there are pets around while we’re having fun. Okay, honey, it’s my responsibility, so I’ll take care of it. Goldy, come here. I need to check something.”

Well, it’s true that that little dragon is her responsibility, but what she did next was something I didn’t understand.

She started to approach the little —I don’t know where she pulled it from, but in her hands, there was a kind of very thin iron rod.

”Kwaaak!”

Iris isn’t the kind of person who would hit her pets, so I didn’t understand what that was for, but as soon as the little one saw Iris approaching with it in her hands, it ran away.

Iris, seeing this, ran after it.

Iris was fast, but the little dragon was fast too.

Now they both started flitting all over the place and making a mess of the room.

Until finally, the little dragon made it to where I was standing and hid behind me.

That didn’t stop Iris.

She followed it, but just as Iris was coming up behind me, the dragon was already in front of me—yet Iris continued her chase, and they repeated the process, which eventually led them to start circling around me.

”Hey, you two, stop it!.”

”Ah!... Oh, I’ve got you!”

Iris stopped immediately at my scolding tone, but that very moment allowed the dragon to be caught—it couldn’t stop in time and kept circling around me, bumping into Iris and falling right into her hands..

”Rouru.”

”Stay still. It won’t hurt—I’ll be gentle.”

”Wait, before that, what are you planning to do? What does this have to do with what we were talking about?”

As always, I don’t understand Iris’s thinking or what she wanted to do with that little iron rod.

To begin with, all I wanted to do was make it clear that, from now on, the little dragon should sleep outside the room.

That way, we’d avoid any incidents.

”Oh, isn’t it obvious, honey? I want to check its gender.”

”￣へ￣, why on earth do you want to do that?”

”Well, if it’s female, it doesn’t matter if it saw us.”

”And if it’s male?”

”That’s up to you, honey. If you want, we’ll punish it. It won’t get any pizza today.”

”Rooorur/_ \.”

”No. For starters, gender isn’t important. Whether it’s male or female, it doesn’t change the fact that it’s awkward to have it here in situations like last night’s. So, ahem, in the future, when a situation like that happens again, let it stay in one of the other two rooms.”

”Oh! I get it. But anyway, it’s good to know its gender—it might have different needs depending on that. Okay, I’ll check it out.”

”Roooourr(＞目＜).”

”I told you it wouldn’t hurt. It’ll be quick... you might even end up liking it.”

”Stop it. What are you planning to do? What does that rod have to do with what we were talking about?”

”Well, honey, Goldy is a dragon, right?”

”Yes.”

”And it seems like it’s partly an Eastern dragon, right?”

”...Yes.”

”Well, in mythology, Eastern dragons used to be snakes, you know—like an Imugi and things like that, right? They’re snakes.”

”...Yeah, oh...”

I think I’m finally understanding what she wants to do.

”You remember how we used to check the gender of snakes, right? I think we have to do the same with this little guy, since I can’t see anything anywhere.”

Yeah, Iris knows a lot about animals, and we’ve had pet snakes, so she knows how to tell their gender.

With some snakes, there’s a method that, from my point of view, is brutal.

If that little dragon sensed what Iris was about to do, it wasn’t surprising that it ran away... I would, too.

”Rroorur.”

”Huh? Or are you a girl?... Oh! If that’s the case, it looks like we don’t need to do it the cloacal way.”

”Roror.”

”Come on, it wouldn’t be that bad. It wouldn’t even hurt. I handled something bigger last night.”

”Roouur.”

”You’re being dramatic. Just because I said I wouldn’t give you pizza. Oh,! you want to play fight? Fine.”

”Rorurr!grrr.”

”Ah! I can do that too, grrr!”

If Iris understood what those little roars meant, there really was no need for that method, although, of course, the little thing could be lying.

But then again, the important thing wasn’t its gender, but getting it out the next time something like last night happened.

I looked at Iris and the little dragon, who seemed angry at what Iris was about to do to her and attacked.

It didn’t seem like anything serious—it looked like she was just playing; either that, or Iris is strong enough to make it look that way.

In any case, she was having fun as she wrestled with the little one and even bit back at it.

”All right, I’m going to go fix breakfast. When I get back, I hope you’ve stopped playing—or whatever it is—and cleaned up the mess you made.”

”...Yeah, honey. I want pancakes.”

”Roorr.”

”Goldy says she wants pizza.”

”Junk food is off-limits for breakfast...”

”Roorrur/_ \|.”

”Oh! Don’t worry, Goldy. Pizza and stuff aren’t the only options. You’ll like the pancakes. You can top them with things like maple syrup, chocolate, and even...”

Well, it seemed like they’d stopped fighting even before I left the room and headed for the kitchen.

It’s cheaper to buy the ingredients and make them myself than to buy them ready-made, so I set about making them.

”Haaah~ I hope today is a quiet day.”

”Honey, I heard you. You raised a flag!.”

”...”

..

.

”So, honey, can you cast spells yet?”

”...No, I already told you I’m just learning the basics.”

It was about halfway through the fourth day. Luckily, my hunch was right: yesterday was a very quiet day, with no customers at all, and today it was almost noon and no one had shown up yet. A day and a half of peace.

The fact that everything was calm led Iris to encourage me—or rather, she kept insisting that I start learning magic.

I had no choice but to buy some books with titles like ”Introduction to Magic” at the store and start reading them to understand what it was all about.

For her part, she was practicing the martial art that the system had given us, called ”The Art of Lethargy.” It’s a curious name.

We were both in one of the rooms in the residence that we weren’t using. We’d cleared it of furniture, so now there was enough space for Iris to move around freely.

As I already knew, the principles of these arts involve performing specific movements to draw mana into the body and create an internal circulation that slowly strengthens the body—or, from our perspective, boosts stats.

Those same movements form the basis for the combat style.

It’s easy to understand if I think of each combat art as a discipline from our world. Iris had learned judo, and if she practiced Rose’s art, she’d learn taekwondo, and so on with the other arts.

Each has its own form and style, as well as everything necessary for a real battle.

Now, based on what I’d just discovered yesterday thanks to Iris, the system had given us a combat art that was far too unique.

At the very least, it must be as unusual as Rose’s, since it had characteristics that differed from the standard for martial arts.

First, this art isn’t tied to a specific element, and having an elemental affinity is common in high-level martial arts.

And it’s definitely a high-level art, since, in theory, it allows us to advance our rank beyond Rank Seven. That’s the information that popped into our heads, so I can’t be wrong.

The second thing I noticed is that this art has no active techniques. This is even stranger, since, as far as I know, that’s something all combat arts have.

After all, techniques are one of the pillars of a warrior’s strength, but this art lacks them.

When that group that had been chasing Rose showed up, Iris said something like ”first stance” or something along those lines, but it was actually something she improvised.

According to the system, even though the art lacks these techniques, there’s a possibility that we—or specifically Iris—could develop and integrate our own.

Come to think of it, that could be a good thing, since it would mean that any technique she develops would be compatible with her profession, skills, and abilities.

She could create a technique that makes her ”Rage Strike ” even more powerful, or even techniques that take advantage of unique skills like ”Dark Dweller,” since they’re created by her.

It’s an extremely flexible art that doesn’t restrict the practitioner, if used correctly.

And I’m really not worried that Iris won’t be able to do it. Considering how well she’s picking up all this stuff about abilities and such, and how she’d already developed something more or less usable in just a single day, if she doesn’t lose interest, she’ll go far.

In any case, even without the specific techniques, practicing the art of combat is making her slowly stronger and giving her an effective fighting style for real battles.

Plus, based on what she said and what I felt myself, simply circulating the art during combat already greatly enhances the body’s power.

The increase felt like almost double the power we had when we fused; I don’t know exactly how much of an improvement other arts provide, or even if they also improve power—or if this is a unique characteristic of the ”Art of Lethargy” as compensation for not having combat arts.

It’s almost an all-in-one system, and that’s why ”combat arts” are the foundation of a warrior’s power.

Depending on which one is practiced and how well it suits the practitioner, the difference in strength can be very significant, even within the same rank.