Massage Parlor for Unsatisfied Wives in Another World

What was most important to me? Without a doubt, it was Iris’s safety.

This reward may be a kind of advantage for advancing in this world.

After all, information and knowledge are power.

But I don’t want to know the secrets of this world; I don’t want to know about gods, demons, legendary treasures, or anything like that.

Yes, I may be wasting an opportunity that could serve me at a critical moment later on, but in my opinion, this is the most critical and fundamental question.

If I am given an answer, it would make the dark, unknown, and potentially dangerous future somewhat more controllable.

”Okay!, system, answer me this: what is the real reason Iris and I were brought here?”

[Confirming. Responding qu-prpr— error!, err—▬■▨⇺ [(𓂀)]]

”Damn it!”

I couldn’t help but curse internally.

It wasn’t because the system started to sound like a broken machine.

It was because, at that moment, I felt and saw everything around us turn gray. The world became strange and monochromatic, and Iris and I seemed to be the only things with color.

I saw how the cards that had fallen from my hands due to the impact of the sudden change did not fall to the floor: they remained floating, as if time had stopped.

But more important than that inexplicable fact was that something—no, someone—appeared in front of me.

It was a person about my height, with black hair, and most strikingly, wearing a smiling clown mask.

”Astan, Astan, Astan... of all the things you could have asked, you went and asked what you shouldn’t have.”

The guy started talking to me as he circled around me and looked at me from all angles, with a scrutinizing attitude.

I couldn’t move at all, not even blink. But I had to think quickly about what this unexpected situation was all about, I had to understand our current danger.

”It was a specific question, but with too many possible interpretations... and that was exactly what you wanted. Even with an opportunity like this, you were testing the limits and limitations of the system.”

”...”

”Hm, your inability to speak is not good. Let’s see.”

Click!

At that moment, the guy snapped his fingers, and I felt the feeling of stagnation release.

I felt that I could move again, and immediately I heard Iris in my head.

’Oh, honey, I can finally talk to you. I know what this is: it’s that cliché situation where you break the rules or know something ahead of time that you shouldn’t, and something like a supervisor shows up to punish you. I don’t think you should have asked that.’

”Oh!, excellent and creative imagination, Iris. And you’ve almost hit the nail on the head.”

The guy stopped paying attention to me and looked at Iris. It seemed like he heard what she said to me in her mind.

He approached her, and in a moment I didn’t understand, his appearance changed: now he looked like a red-haired woman with pointed ears, and his mask became that of an angry demon.

Only then did I realize that his previous appearance was myself, only with a slightly distorted voice.

But more importantly, the moment that thing approached Iris, I also moved quickly and stood between them.

”Heuehuehue~.. as protective as ever. Although, at this moment and as always, your wife is more capable and physically dangerous than you, hehehe~.”

”Get to the point. What do you want? If you didn’t let the system respond, it’s obvious you’re not going to give me the answer. So why did you come? Are you going to hurt us? We didn’t do anything to deserve punishment.”

”Oh!.You’re really not someone to play with.. You’re taking the little the system told you about karma and your understanding of the mission, reward, and achievement system, along with the limitations on answering questions, and you’ve already come to a conclusion. You think there are some kind of rules and laws here, don’t you? Cause and effect, even for entities like me.”

”...”

”You’re not really afraid of anything, except your wife. You asked me that question knowing the answer already. Right now, you’re not afraid of what I might do to them; you’re thinking about how to get as much information out of me as possible, playing dumb, you little bastard.”

”...”

I don’t know if this thing is really reading my mind, but it’s right. Although I was surprised at first, I quickly understood what was going on and the probable reason why it was here.

If my question was something it shouldn’t know, the system would do what it always does.

But the fact that this is happening means that it can’t act as usual and needs the intervention of something higher to handle and resolve it.

Its mere presence makes many things clear, including the fact that this reward carries real weight and cannot simply be dismissed with a lie or denial.

That means that, however arbitrary the system and whoever runs or created it may be, it is following some kind of strict laws.

Leaving aside whether or not he came to answer my question, I want to understand if he was the one who brought us here and if he is the owner of the system.

”Stop scheming and thinking so much; you’re giving me a headache. Well, your question may have many nuances, and that goes beyond what the system can do. And, as you thought, it is obliged to answer it. And I will. I’ll tell you: you weren’t reincarnated by me; I’m just something like Iris’s description. And, more importantly, you weren’t brought here by anyone.”

”That’s not an answer to my question...”

”Come on, think about it: if you weren’t brought here by anyone, including me, what do you think that would mean? The answer is easy, isn’t it? It’s simple math.”

”Oh! I know! If no one reincarnated us, it’s the same as... there’s no reason. Yes, honey, it’s simple math.”

”Very good deduction, my dear Iris. Well, there you have it.”

That thing was alternating between Iris’s appearance and mine, and whether on purpose or not, having two Irises talk to me about math when there isn’t any gives me a headache in another sense.

But I’m not going to get carried away by that nonsense.

”...Answer my question directly.”

”Damn, you don’t miss a thing, shit. Fine, I give up: I can’t answer that, no matter how many times you ask.”

”...눈_눈”

”Hey!, don’t make that face. I don’t make the rules here; blame the bastard who did. Anyway, a reward is a reward, and that’s also inviolable. I already gave you a half-answer, and I’ll answer that second question you have as a priority, and I’ll even answer little extra questions derived from that answer.”

”...”

”Come on, don’t be stingy. This isn’t an easy situation: you won’t get the answer, and we’ll be stuck here forever if you don’t accept this.”

”... Fine, then answer me this: what is the real goal and purpose of all this? I haven’t believed for a second that we came here to make this place prosper.”

”Haah~ yes, I totally understand. Whoever did this shit didn’t really feel like thinking things through; they just did the bare minimu-ahem! Anyway, well: your absolute and definitive answer to the ’true’ purpose of all this is... that you guys bring the massage parlor to great and absolute prosperity.”

”Are you fucking with me?”

”No. I can’t lie when answering a question. Now you know that you can’t just make it prosperous—you have to make it very prosperous.”

”Yeah, you’re definitely fucking with me, asshole!”

”Hey! That’s disrespectful. I may be a god or a higher being who can crush you with just a thought.”

”Fuck you! You think I care?”

”You really are a unique being in your own way. I guess the moment you confirmed that I couldn’t do anything to Iris, you stopped caring about everything.”

”You’re a talker. If you’re done, leave. You didn’t answer anything anyway. You’re useless.”

”Hahahaha~... You’re really funny. You think your wife is someone outside of common sense and what is considered normal, but from my perspective, you have a more serious mental problem.”

”...”

”Yes, normally you’re no better than an amoeba. You barely think and do just enough to appear to be a functional being, but when it’s a matter involving Iris or someone close to you, you start using that brain of yours to an absurd degree.”

”Hehehe~ my honey loves me very much.”

”...”

”Yes, if it weren’t such an absurd change, I’d think it was the stigma of lethargy, but no, he’s always been like that...hue~ If he were here alone, he’d be too lazy to even exist. But if it’s for you, Iris, he’s a madman who would do anything, even provoke me, to get more information out of me.”

”...”

”Huehueha~ Astan it’s not for nothing that you’re a jester. You’re the one who really understands how things work. That’s why you can play with what you shouldn’t, challenge what no one else dares to touch, and say what others don’t even allow themselves to think. Always testing limits that don’t belong to you... and yet you still come out unscathed. The only one capable of mocking, deceiving, or laughing at a king without fear, and walking away as if nothing happened.”

”Oh! That’s why. Well, I didn’t understand most of it. Why am I a berserker?”

”love, this is not the time for that.”

”Hahahaha... because it’s in your nature and it’s your way of adapting to this world. Isn’t that clear?”

”Nope, I don’t understand. But then, why— hmngh—?”

”Wait, this is not the time to ask those questions.”

”Huehuehue... you cunning bastard. So you stopped playing dumb. You even noticed that. Yes, as you think, your question was too heavy, and for your information, you only have two or three small ones left, or I can keep talking about whatever I want for a while; that way, karma is balanced, and I’ll leave.”

”... If you say that our goal is just to run this place, then what is the purpose of the missions and everything else? Are you saying that everything is really for the sake of running a massage parlor to prosperity, even threatening us with death? That’s not fun or meaningful.”

”Well, I understand your point. Unfortunately for you, that question is closely linked to your first one, so I can’t give a clear answer... Besides, you only see the bad side: there are rewards, aren’t there? Think about it. It won’t be that easy to run a massage parlor in this world, and you need a little help. And since you more or less understand what karma is about, you must understand punishment, right?”

”Really? Are you here to annoy me? First you tell me you can’t answer, and then you give me a reason. You’ve been contradicting yourself for a while now, and you’re being blatant about it.”

”No, I didn’t. Nothing I’ve said from the beginning until now contradicts itself. Besides, it’s very arrogant of you to believe that everything we do must have a reason that is understandable to you, a mere mortal.”

”...”

”Well, I see you’re still not convinced that the main goal is to administer this place. I can at least tell you a sub-goal that’s more at your level of understanding. As the administrators of this place, you have a sacred duty to place a stigma of lethargy Lost, Chastity, or ugh! Lady Wrath. ehem! I’m sure that would be a great tangible goal, one that makes the threat and other things that await them worthwhile. Huehuehue.”

”Ah! Answer me, what is it really—?”

”Stop right there. That’s enough. No more questions—balance has been achieved. Hahaha~... You should have stopped me, ha ha ha... Even you can fail. You’ve focused too much on the direct threat, haha hue~... Now it’s too late.”

”...”

”That annoying thing really made me go in circles with its words. Now that I know what I really need to ask, it cut me off without letting me get anything else out of it.”

”Haah~ how difficult it is to deal with you... haaah~. It’s just me complaining, but I really don’t understand why they even put such a problematic reward possibility at the beginning. I don’t understand how such eccentric beings think. Is there really anything fun about watching someone run a massage parlor? Haah~. But it’s always the minions like me who get hurt, haah~.”

”You’re unnecessarily talkative from the start. And that last bit was too unnecessary.”

That thing seems like it wants to give me unnecessary clues to make it harder for me to understand all this. But he himself said the reward is over, he may be lying since you’re not obligated to anything.

Not to mention, he may have been lying even before that, so nothing is certain.

”You can think whatever you want, haaah~. But it’s really not pleasant talking to you. I feel sorry for this world, which now has two armed madmen. Huehuehue. Well, Iris and Astan Rothwel—hmm? hell!, There really isn’t much enthusiasm.

”...”

”Ahem!, don’t pay any attention to me. Well, Astan and Iris Rothwell, I hope I never have to see you again. Your humble servant, Mirrǒr, bids you farewell!”