Marvel: A Lazy-Ass Superman

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Henry had originally thought that by making such a troublesome request, he would be able to slack off for a few days.

Unexpectedly, the very next evening, he was summoned to the Brotherhood of Mutants’ secret base.

There was even a crowd of people staying up late just to watch the show.

With no other choice, he changed into his Yangdong Valley Laboratory disguise and headed out.

Speaking with Magneto was a man wearing an expensive suit, though he looked somewhat dirty and unkempt.

Compared to him, however, Black Superman’s appearance wasn’t much better. His afro and braided beard looked equally ridiculous.

Especially the beard braids—their number changed constantly. Sometimes there was one, sometimes two, and occasionally three to five of them.

The moment Magneto saw him arrive, he immediately called out,

”Black Superman, come over. Let me introduce our volunteer. His name is Bill—Bill Johnson.”

Not wanting the man to feel like a laboratory animal, Black Superman stepped forward and greeted him.

”Mr. Johnson, nice to meet you. I honestly didn’t expect anyone to volunteer for a mutant experiment.”

Bill Johnson stared blankly at Black Superman’s bizarre appearance for a moment before forcing a bitter smile.

”I’ve already lost everything. Gaining any kind of superpower might be my only way out.”

”Lost everything?”

”I listened to a bunch of idiots who said the internet bubble was about to burst, so I put all my money into shorting tech stocks. Who would’ve thought those stocks would keep shooting upward like rockets? Maybe I’m the real idiot.”

Poor guy.

The information he trusted wasn’t actually wrong. He was just a year too early.

This year was the final frenzy of the dot-com boom. The bubble wouldn’t truly burst until next year.

It was proof that simply knowing future trends wasn’t enough to dominate the stock market. If you didn’t know the exact timing, you’d still end up as prey for the big players no matter how confidently you went all-in.

Not knowing how to comfort him, Black Superman changed the subject.

”I’m sure the others have already explained the precautions. And you understand the randomness involved in becoming a mutant, right? We have no way of controlling what ability you might gain—or whether it’ll be useful.”

The middle-aged Bill Johnson nodded.

”I know most of it. But nobody told me whether this experiment will hurt. I was originally planning to jump from the roof of my company’s building. People say you only feel it for an instant.”

Well.

That certainly explained why he’d volunteered.

Black Superman replied,

”In animal testing, the drug didn’t produce any obvious pain responses or cause the test animals to lose control.

”As for the neurological stimulation, inflicting pain isn’t its primary purpose.

”So theoretically, the process shouldn’t be painful.

”If you experience any discomfort during the experiment, let us know immediately so we can respond. Your safety remains our top priority.”

Bill Johnson raised a hand to stop him.

”I know how experiments work. What I’m saying is... if I can’t endure it, just give me a bullet.”

After a few more words of reassurance, a young woman dressed as a nurse escorted Bill Johnson to the examination bed and began making preparations.

Black Superman moved closer to Magneto and quietly asked,

”How exactly did you find this candidate? Is this really okay?”

”It was Selene who selected him—”

Following Magneto’s gaze, Black Superman looked toward the alluring Black Priestess.

Selene smiled as she held a Tarot deck in her hand, a single card—the Hanged Man—pinched between her fingers.

Black Superman instantly understood how the candidate had been chosen.

”—and then Mystique handled the persuasion.”

When Magneto mentioned Mystique, he pointed directly at the nurse currently strapping Bill Johnson onto the bed.

There were so many things worth commenting on that Black Superman didn’t even know where to start.

So he said nothing.

Walking over to Bill Johnson, he saw the dejected middle-aged man nervously ask,

”Do I really need to be tied down like this?”

”Actually, no.”

Black Superman turned toward the nurse.

”Nurse, please remove Mr. Johnson’s restraints. This isn’t some evil human experimentation facility.”

The subtle jab earned him a vicious glare from the nurse—who was actually Mystique in disguise.

Only then did she slowly begin undoing the straps.

The gesture visibly eased Bill Johnson’s anxiety.

Black Superman retrieved a vial of X-Gene Activation Drug from the laboratory refrigerator, drew it into a syringe, and returned to the bedside.

”Ready?”

Bill Johnson still looked somewhat hesitant.

But the nurse disguised by Mystique tightly held his hand, her eyes filled with encouragement.

To be honest, if the Brotherhood had wanted to be more forceful, they could have simply controlled his mind directly.

Selene, who had once been powerful enough to rival Professor X even during a weakened period, should certainly be capable of such a feat now that she had regained her strength.

Instead, they had chosen the most basic approach—persuasion and reassurance.

Poor, ignorant Bill Johnson received encouragement from a cute nurse and finally let go of his unnecessary fears.

Nodding, he said,

”I’m ready.”

Black Superman immediately inserted the needle into a vein in his arm and injected a measured dose of the X-Gene Activation Drug.

Then...

Nothing happened.

The spectators, who had been holding their breath in anticipation, collectively let out disappointed sighs.

Alarmed, Bill Johnson asked,

”Did I fail?”

”This is only the first step. It’s far too early to call it a failure.”

Black Superman stepped aside.

It was now Magneto’s turn to perform.

Magneto raised a hand before Bill Johnson’s forehead and attempted to manipulate the magnetic field around his frontal lobe in order to activate the X-Gene.

He tried several times.

Then several more.

Eventually, his brow furrowed and his expression became increasingly troubled.

To be fair, Magneto’s bedside manner was terrible.

When a doctor starts looking worried in front of a patient, doesn’t that only make the patient more anxious?

Of course, Magneto wasn’t a doctor and had never undergone that sort of training.

So he simply turned toward Black Superman and said,

”Precisely controlling the magnetic field and maintaining the same pattern isn’t easy. It feels like the moment there’s even the slightest deviation, all the previous effort becomes meaningless.”

Given Magneto’s level of control, manipulating magnetic fields with precision and sustaining a complex pattern at high intensity shouldn’t have been difficult.

However, he’d never performed this kind of operation before.

Expecting him to master it instantly might have been asking too much.

As a result, Black Superman immediately designed a magnetic-field adjustment helmet on the spot.

The helmet contained a large number of coils.

Regardless of fluctuations in the external magnetic field, the helmet would reshape it into a fixed pattern, creating the desired stimulation internally.

Handing the design to Magneto, he asked,

”Can you make this? It should help.”

Magneto had spent considerable time studying subjects related to his powers.

After only a brief glance at the design, he nodded.

”I can make it. But how long will the drug remain active in Johnson’s body?”

”It’ll remain effective until his body naturally metabolizes it. Roughly twelve to twenty-four hours. We’d need periodic blood tests to monitor the concentration and determine the exact duration.”

”I won’t need that long. Give me a moment.”

Magneto walked into the secret base’s storage area.

A short while later, he emerged carrying a helmet that looked bizarre and improvised.

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