Lucia

The day was quickly getting darker. Philip looked to the sky to guess the time and estimated the distance to the mountain that was some distance away.

It would be hard to climb the mountain today. Unless it was a state of urgency, it was better to not climb a mountain in the dark.

Philip was a seasoned traveler with lengthy experience but he refused to risk it. He would be sleeping in the streets tonight as well. Once one got accustomed to this lifestyle, making a bed for the night was very swift.

He made a bonfire and had his dinner of dry rations and water. Philip’s mind went back to the village he left today. Just like other places, the naive villagers were on guard at first but quickly opened their hearts to him.

It was always sad to shake off the hands holding him back when it was time to leave. Very rarely, there were places that made him consider settling down. However, he was unable to bear it for long and would set out wandering again.

It was a wandering with no destination and no known end. It wasn’t for freedom. He was just wandering around aimlessly. Philip reckoned that his family’s karma had piled up and become his retribution.

“Hu-hu…my attachment is tenacious.”

The face of the patient from the earlier village suddenly sprang up in his mind. The woman looked old but she had a clear and pleasant expression. Philip didn’t think he would see a patient that took mugwort, much less a patient that took it from her first menstruation at a place like that.

He had seen patients whose menstruation stopped for a while after eating mugwort but it was his first time meeting a patient like the one earlier. It was a case where it wasn’t done intentionally but it was done of one’s own accord. The world was indeed vast, unexpected things happened all the time.

Philip gave the woman the cure. He had torn it out entirely from the notebook passed down as his family’s vision. The cure was stored in his head anyways, but there was a reason why he went out of his way to tear it out.

It was a meaningful action to tear off his small attachment that was still persisting and clinging on. In any case, once the Philip that had no family died, these secrets would be buried with him forever. But even then, he was still unable to throw it away but finally, now, he was able to.

“I even asked her if she was a virgin. How stupid.”

Philip ridiculed himself. He wondered why that question had come out of his mouth then. It was no use whether that woman was a virgin or not now.

Tears began to form in his eyes as he vacantly gazed at the bonfire. Due to old age, a pool of tears began to flow from his eyes. Whenever he suddenly recalled the young master, he couldn’t bear the sadness and the urge to cry.

Even if he had grown into an excellent young man, to Philip, he was always the little young master. The memories of him holding the toddler’s little hand and taking him to the Duke were still vivid in his head. Philip was already content to watch that mature figure from afar.

It had already been several years since the man that was Philip’s last hope was buried in the cold ground(1). And since then, the Duke had abandoned the north and only roamed the battlefield(2).

Everything was over. The course was running for the last time.

“Young master Damian…”

Philip’s shoulder’s shook as he sobbed. Just like the day he held onto the returned corpse of the young master and cried endlessly; Philip stooped to the floor and cried.