Lucia

(12)

TN: I love love love this chapter. Going back to old formatting just cuz.

As the words left the Duke’s mouth and he looked at them, the people around quickly flooded out of the receiving room, leaving Hugo and Lucia alone.

There was a brief silence between them as they sat side by side on the sofa. He suddenly realized that this was the first time they had ever been together at this time and in this way.

“Why did you lie?”

“…I did not lie.”

“You are hiding the truth from the doctor, aren’t you? Not saying it is the same thing as lying. Why are you trying so hard to lie when you can’t lie properly?”

‘How did he know?’ It was as though he was reading her mind when he looked at her.

He wrapped one arm around Lucia’s waist and pulled her into his arms then spoke like he could see inside of her.

“Your expression says ‘how did he know?’. You can’t lie, it’s too obvious.”

Lucia simply wanted to escape from this situation. She twisted her body as she pushed away from him and stood up from the sofa.

“…It’s a busy time for you at work yet you were interrupted. I’m sorry to have bothered you.”

He watched the standing Lucia silently for a moment as he remained on the sofa then spoke fiercely.

“Do you blame me for being here?”

“You don’t need to be worried.”

“What?”

“I won’t get better anyways.”

He caught her wrist, pulling strongly and Lucia couldn’t help but fall into his arms.

She tried to struggle and get up but one of his hands held her arm in one place while the other hand held her chin, forcing their eyes to meet.

“What do you mean by that? Why should I be relieved if you won’t get better?”

“Didn’t I tell you from the start? That I cannot have children.”

Watching her wavering amber eyes, his red eyes also wavered.

Lucia twisted her chin and shook off his hand. His hand which awkwardly hung in the air for a bit, fell down.

She also moved and pulled out her arm which was held in his. Hugo felt bewildered in the face of her rejecting reactions.

“You weren’t interested nor did you ask why.” (Lucia)

“…”

“Why are you suddenly curious?”

He had only asked if she could prove it.

After that, he never asked if she truly could not have a child or if somewhere in her body was ill. Lucia thought that he had completely forgotten about it.

That his interest in her was only to that extent.

Therefore, it was pitiful that as the days went on, she could only continue to hope that her heart that was running to him would harden.

“Suddenly, huh. Is it bad for me to be curious?” (Hugo)

“Then I’m grateful.”

“…Don’t say it like that.”

“I apologize.”

Looking at her appearance as she gave short and icy answers then shut her mouth like she wouldn’t say anymore, his red eyes enlarged and flared up.

She was doing things she’d never done before and it was poking his nerves. He did not want to raise his voice as it was not a big deal anyways so he spoke in an even calmer voice.

“Vivian, do you want to quibble over something of the past?”

Lucia’s chest sank in disappointment.

‘If you call it something of the past then I can’t say anything.’

For him, it was just something of the past. Lucia just quietly shook her head.

“Right now, I am concerned about your body so, explain the exact symptoms to the doctor and get treated.”

His tone was even more affectionate than usual.

Even though she knew that he didn’t really have things like kindness or tender affection, every time she heard his affectionate voice, she would be entranced as though she had heard a love song then would wake up like she had been doused with cold water.

“I don’t want to do that.”

“Why?”

“If I do that, you would be troubled.”

“Why would I be troubled?”

“Because you don’t want me to have children!”

Her voice suddenly grew loud.

“…”

For a moment, Hugo could not say anything. It was not that he didn’t want her to have a child but that he did not want to continue his bloodline itself.

And as to whether she could have a child or not, pregnancy was impossible.

But to make her understand that, he would have to tell her about many things that were hidden.

However, he did not want to dig into his memory and talk about those things again. To him, those things weren’t just past events but a chilling nightmare.

Staring at Hugo who went silent, Lucia took his silence as confirmation and tried not to let her emotions get out of control.

“I misspoke. Accurately speaking, you’ve never had any interest.”

It was her intuition as a woman. He never wanted a child from her.

Despite that, his actions were contradictory as he never used any contraception. Lucia was rather bitter in that regard.

He wasn’t even that concerned about it.

She wondered what kind of attitude he would have if she had gotten pregnant by chance.

Whether he would take the child away, have no interest in the child or perhaps turn around and never look for her again.

Whatever choice it was, they were all terrible.

“About having no interest…” (Hugo)

‘Isn’t that you?’ Hugo mumbled inwardly. She had not even once, asked him about Damian. But, no matter how brazen he was, he knew he did not have the right to question her about that. He was married to her because he needed a mate not to take care of his son, they didn’t have a contract for that.

“I didn’t know you hoped for me to be interested.”

Lucia’s heart sank down heavily in her chest. Somehow, looking at him, he seemed tired.

‘No!’

Already, from the moment he said that he could see through her lies, she had been full of anxiety.

Her nerves were on edge, thinking that her heart could also be read.

If he were to have an inkling of it and say something cruel like what he had said to Sofia Lawrence at the victory party that day…

‘My heart will burst. It would hurt so much that I’d rather die.’

He was a man that was tender to a woman as long as she kept a reasonable distance.

Just like he’d done for her, how many lovers in the past had he smiled with and given presents to?

It was because of this tenderness that those women, when they were notified of their break up, could not throw away their lingering attachment and clung to him.

‘I don’t want to become one of his past women.’

It would be good to live like this forever. Just like this. A fully materialistic life. A husband that gave her tender smiles and held her passionately every night.

She would not be greedy for more. Her sweaty fists were clenched tightly.

“I…don’t hope for anything. I have not forgotten my contract with you.”

(12)

TN: Last one for the week. This one is finished anyways so here you go~

Lucia hoped to look natural as she avoided his gaze and drew back a little from his arms but he was watching her sharply.

“Ha. Right. The contract.”

He gave a fake laugh and frustratedly swept through his hair.

It seemed to be only him that thought of forgetting about the contract and pushing it to a corner. She was obviously still strongly bound to its tenacious ropes.

“I can enjoy freedom in my private life and you would keep the door to your heart locked. That was our contract, right?”

He once again narrowed the distance that she tried to make as he grabbed her waist and pulled her in.

In this way, Lucia’s efforts were very easily undone. She was once again positioned in his embrace.

“But did you know? We didn’t decide on what would happen when someone does not keep to the contract.”

“Are you worried that I won’t keep to the contract?”

“Really, why are you like this? Why do you exaggerate my words like that?”

“…I’m sorry. I guess I twisted it a little.”

For a while, Hugo looked at his wife who seemed unfamiliar. It was not his usual wife that listened obediently.

Moreover, she kept avoiding his eyes showing rejection and separation.

‘The first time I met her…I didn’t say any word of support but she just went ahead and spoke.’

Perhaps, this was also her.

There was no way he could have seen sides of her that she never showed to him.

He originally didn’t like the fact that their conversation was being prolonged but he was rather pleased to see a new side of her.

It felt like he could see the real her for a moment other than the sight of her gently smiling and laughing.

“If I…give up on my freedom in my private life… will you also release the lock on your door?”

“…Huh?”

Lucia’s eyes grew round as she looked at him.

She couldn’t understand what he intended to do by saying that. Was this a trick of a playboy? He—

“I mean…”

He had an awkward expression as the slurred the ends of his words.

“Get treated.”

Lucia was disappointed at the change of topic.

“I don’t want to.”

“Vivian!”

“I cannot have a child so it’s okay for me to be unable to get one. But if I get treated, is it okay for me to have a child? Will you allow it?”

“…”

He sighed and massaged his temples with his fingers.

Even if her body got better, she couldn’t get pregnant. His Taran bloodline made it impossible for him to get just any woman pregnant.

Without fulfilling the conditions, the bloodline of Taran would not grow in any woman.

That was why he enjoyed himself with several women and never worried about the dangers of impregnating them.

Only a normal woman, one that did not possess the blood of Taran, could meet the conditions to conceive the blood of Taran but as to what those conditions were, only the old man knew.

He drove the old man to live outside the castle walls and looked through the documents he had but there was nothing related to that.

Maybe it was just in the old man’s memories or maybe there was another document about it, hidden somewhere nobody knew about. And so, to find out, he had simply and easily caught the old man and beat him up.

The old geezer that had claimed he wouldn’t divulge the secrets of his family and held on without speaking, opened his mouth once he was imprisoned and realized that he would never see the sun again.

[The male of the Taran bloodline who will become the father of the child has to administer his blood for over a year to the woman and then deflower her.]*

It really was a sickening condition. That condition also had to be completed before the woman was deflowered.

His wife was already on the wrong path. Even if it was possible to get pregnant regardless of such conditions, he never intended to leave a successor behind.

Just imagining an existence left in the world with his blood made him feel like he had steeped in shit.

Even though he was not at risk of impregnating anyone, it was his habit to ejaculate outside as he hated the idea of descendants that resembled himself.

But he unexpectedly met her. She was different from the start. Why was she an exception?

She was the first to make him hug, release into her and enjoy the after play. He had felt the satisfaction at planting his seeds inside of her.

He acknowledged that his indifference had hurt her. Under normal circumstances, she was very likely to be pregnant.

He had forgotten that she couldn’t have a child and did not show any concern as to whether or not she was pregnant.

Her words asking why he was suddenly curious was full of resentment and bitterness.

It was fragmented information but being able to see her wounds sent a tingling sensation around his heart.

“If I get treated, I want to have a child. Even so, is it okay?”

She cannot get pregnant anyways. He could tell her that she was allowed to have any amount of kids she wanted.

That any amount she wanted was good. If he said that then she couldn’t blame him afterwards if they didn’t have any children.

However, he didn’t want to deceive her that way. Even if he couldn’t say the truth, he didn’t want to lie to her.

“…I don’t need a child.”

“If it is because of the succession issue, then I can write a memorandum. I don’t care if I have to sign a contract that excludes my rights to succession.”

“It is not because of that. I…I don’t want to leave my mark.”

“You already have a son.”

“That one—!”

There was too much to explain for that. The only one left who knew that he wasn’t Damian’s biological father was the old man.

There was no end to it once the dam was opened. He did not want to share the secrets of Taran with anyone.

He was not going to tell Damian either. He would embrace that knowledge alone and bury it with himself.

“He is…He’s a little different. You…I didn’t know you wanted a child that much.”

He realized that he really had only been looking at her exterior. He didn’t know what was inside her heart at all.

“I’m sorry. I know the wife you want should not be such a woman.”

“Vivian.”

He sighed heavily.

“I don’t mean to criticize you. I just didn’t know so I am surprised.”

“When we first talked about marriage, you said you don’t care if I bear a child.”

“That’s…”

It wasn’t that he didn’t care but he knew that she couldn’t get pregnant anyways and he didn’t feel like explaining it, after all at the time, he only needed a mate. A wife was just a freebie.

“You said you wouldn’t divorce me.”

Instantly, he became alert, his eyes flared and he snarled.

“Divorce? That’s impossible.”

Hearing the word ‘divorce’ come out of her mouth, his insides gradually began to boil.

“I told you from the start. No divorce. I definitely said that even if I die, you won’t be able to escape.”

“I know. The tradition of the Taran family. Of course I remember. But there is no tradition of not having children.”

“A child or a divorce. As you asking me to make a choice?”

Her amber eyes trembled intensely.

Lucia turned her head away from him as her eyes stung as if tears would fall. To her, his words seemed to be asking her instead to choose one of the two.

“I…didn’t mean it like that.”

“Vivian, why can’t we keep being like this?”

“It is just my greed. I wish to have someone with me when I am alone.”

“Why would you be alone?”

“Surely, you aren’t saying that you will be with me forever?”

“…What?”

Looking at his expression akin to someone hearing a foreign language, something lit up from deep within Lucia’s heart.

His manner of speaking too, as if to pacify her, was irritating.

‘Even though he had no interest in what I think! Even though all he wants is an adequate and comfortable wife to push to the side!’

She wanted to see him wounded and hurting.

Even if she couldn’t make him hurt no matter what she did, then at the very least she wanted to make it awkward and difficult for him.

Such wicked thoughts uncontrollably rose in her heart.

“You don’t love me and I will never love you. So, what is there between us? How long do you think this type of relationship will last?”