Lord of Rot

Leech took his time, only standing up from the bathtub when the water grew cold.

He picked up a cloth and draped it over himself.

The advantage of short hair was that it dried quickly. With long hair, he would have to wrap it up every time he bathed to keep it from getting wet.

This world had no hair dryers.

An elegant aristocratic life and the tedious grooming it required were always intertwined.

So, to have flowing long hair, one had to accept spending a great deal of time each day arranging, oiling, and maintaining it. Leech had no desire to be a showy peacock. Short hair was perfectly fine.

A banquet was held at Three-fork River Castle, with a dozen or so nobles gathered together.

The seating arrangement was very particular. In reality, the banquet was intended to honor only two people: Philip of the Midnight Sun and Baron Porcupine, Leech.

The other nobles, mostly second sons, were not distinguished enough for this table, but Hawkwood didn’t dare to be so exclusionary.

At his right and left hand were his son, his daughter, and the unmarried Miss Agnes.

Next to them were Leech and Philip.

”A toast to the valiant East Gorge Knights!” Hawkwood stood and raised his wineglass. ”May the Four Gods bless you all!”

”May the Four Gods bless us!” The nobles raised their glasses.

Leech had just brought the glass to his face when a light sniff told him everything.

’This is my own Porcupine Wine!’

He took a small sip.

’This wine can’t be gulped down. It’s forty to fifty percent alcohol. If I chug it, I’ll be the one to suffer.’

The others, however, had no such notion. Porcupine Wine had only recently been launched, and since Claude preferred to sell it first in the Northern Territory, almost no one present had ever tasted it.

”Hsss!” Johann Hanen threw back a large mouthful, and the burn made his head spin. ”What is this wine?”

His entire face instantly turned beet red.

”Hahaha, the Red Chicken Knight!” A noble seated nearby pointed at Johann’s face and roared with laughter.

Whether it was because some couldn’t hold their liquor or because others were using the drink as an excuse to liven things up, the atmosphere at the table was excellent.

’If people weren’t grabbing food directly with their hands, I’d find all this very elegant, very aristocratic,’ Leech thought.

Hawkwood had provided forks for everyone, but few were willing to use them.

”This is Porcupine Wine,” Hawkwood said to Leech with a faint smile. He explained, ”Ever since I chanced upon the Porcupine Wine brewed in the Porcupine Territory, I can’t stand to drink any other kind. It’s so mellow and fragrant, with a delightful, lingering aftertaste. A pity it’s so difficult to purchase. I can only ever buy a small amount, so I treasure it, drinking just one small cup a day. If you sirs weren’t attending this banquet, I would never have parted with it.”

Leech shook his head lightly. ”Porcupine Wine is in such short supply, I can only get a taste of it here in Three-fork River Castle myself.”

”Hahaha!”

Everyone roared with laughter, though no one believed Leech. They had, however, all gained a new appreciation for Porcupine Wine. It was an exceptionally fragrant and mellow vintage, and exceedingly difficult to acquire.

Of course, those who had downed their cup in a single gulp were now dazed and slurring their words.

The strongest drink in this world was typically grape wine, which was only about ten percent alcohol.

The only reason they could still sit and talk after suddenly chugging such strong liquor was because they were all physically robust from their training and used to drinking beer like water. Otherwise, every last one of them would have already passed out under the table.

Leech, however, was thinking about something else.

’Should I create a premium version, like I did with the soap? The price of Porcupine Wine is already much higher than regular wine, but nobles have money to burn. They’d probably be even happier to drink it if I raised the price appropriately. Maybe I could create a ”Flying Porcupine” edition?’

’It’s all worth considering.’

’Too bad my secretary isn’t here, or she could have jotted this idea down for me.’

By the latter half of the banquet, most of the guests were staggering about and slurring their words. The only exceptions were the Extraordinary Knights, whose robust physiques allowed them to withstand the alcohol’s assault, and the Linsen family, who had been prepared and only took small sips.

The ”Red Chicken Knight,” Johann Hanen, was flushed from his neck to the tips of his ears. His face was red as a monkey’s butt. Leaning on a chair for support, he staggered over to Leech.

He slurred, ”Sir Leech, my wife... she likes you!”

Leech remained perfectly calm. Philip and the other sober guests, however, were not. ’Is that something you can just say out loud?’

After a long pause, Johann finally finished, ”...your soap!”

Leech, long accustomed to the man’s dramatic pauses, didn’t bat an eye. Philip and the others, however, breathed a sigh of relief. They had thought some shocking news was about to be revealed.

’On second thought, it was impossible anyway,’ they reasoned. ’Porcupine Territory is a long way from East Port. Other than the wildly popular Porcupine Brand soap, what else could it be?’

Agnes, who was nearby, chimed in, ”I also love the Porcupine Brand soap for nobles, but it’s always so hard to buy. I have to ask Evangelina to help me get it.”

”Jennifer,” Agnes said to the noble lady beside her, ”we have to seize this opportunity and ask for some. Once Sir Leech leaves, it’ll be difficult for us to buy soap again.”

”It is my honor that such beautiful ladies use Porcupine Brand soap,” Leech said. ”Coincidentally, our soap for nobles has a new fragrance. I’ll arrange to have some sent over when I get back.”

”I want some too!” Johann Hanen leaned into Leech’s ear and whispered, ”My wife has terrible body odor. Do you have any deodorant soap?”

’Can he really say that in public? This guy must be completely wasted.’

Leech coughed dryly and said, ”Porcupine Territory is currently researching a sulfur soap. You could perhaps buy some and give it a try.”

”Hahaha, that’s wonderful! That’s—”

THUD!

Johann Hanen collapsed to the floor.

Hawkwood quickly ordered, ”Have Sir Johann taken back to his room to rest.”

That night, the male servants had the most exhausting job of their lives. Carrying a drunkard was heavier than hauling a dead hog.

After the banquet, Leech had intended to exchange insights about being a Transcendent with Philip and the others. Compared to him, they were all from established noble families and might know some special techniques.

However, Hawkwood Linsen intercepted Leech first.

The reason was simple: he wanted to talk business.

After witnessing the strength of the Porcupine Territory’s Soldiers and seeing the Leopold family’s reaction to his recent troubles, the unassuming Hawkwood, who had always kept his head down and avoided conflict, finally decided he needed to make some friends of his own.

His thinking was similar to that of Agnes, yet with a few differences. After all, as a man, he couldn’t use feminine wiles as bait, and besides, he didn’t believe Leech was someone who could be so easily seduced.

As it happened, people from the Porcupine Territory had previously expressed interest in purchasing minerals from his lands.

The most unreliable things in the world were relationships built on feelings. Feelings could lead to betrayal, but shared interests were absolute.

People willing to risk life and limb for profit were a dime a dozen, whereas emotions and morals constantly needed to be reined in by doctrines and principles.

As long as the profits were great enough, they could be the best of friends forever.

Leech was overjoyed.

’This is it! The Magic Gunpowder Materials for Betty’s Alchemy Bombs! And the minerals Scholar Toma needs for his Magic research are here too!’

’The price will finally drop to a level I can accept.’

They talked long into the night.

The next day, just as Leech and his party were preparing to depart, they were informed that a wedding was to be held at the Three-fork River Castle chapel and were invited to attend.

As a casual believer in the Four Gods, Leech had never built a church in the Porcupine Territory, which had been too poor in the past.

And even now that he had money, he had no intention of building one.

As long as no one called him out on it, he planned to continue playing dumb.

Portraits of the Four Gods hung on the walls. The ceiling was covered in colored glass, and when the sunlight streamed in, it cast a dazzling, dream-like glow.

After Leech, Philip, and the others entered the chapel, they bowed their heads and began to pray.

But unlike Philip and the others, who prayed earnestly, Leech’s mind began to wander.

’Four Gods above, I thank you for your blessings,’ Leech silently recited the classic opening. ’Please bless my Porcupine Territory with booming business and overflowing coffers. Please bless me with peaceful and stable development. Please bless me with success in finding more Extraordinary Magic Potions to cultivate Transcendents. Please bless me with a future promotion to the legendary realm. Please bless me with a Giant Dragon to ride. If my prayers are answered, I’ll return to repay the favor and have your statues gilded.’

’I’m a professional when it comes to praying. Back on Earth, I’d visit the temple on the first and fifteenth of every lunar month. Of course, not just temples. Churches, local deity shrines, Guan Yin temples, Daoist monasteries... I’d even pray to an old tree if it had a reputation for being effective.’

’Praying is free, anyway. I’d only come back to make an offering after my wish was granted.’

’It was just a shame that, right up until I transmigrated, none of my prayers had ever been answered.’

’This world is different, though. There’s probably a divine projection locked up in the catacombs of Pebble Castle right now. The likelihood that the Four Gods actually exist is very high.’

’With the Magic Tide surging, perhaps the Four Gods will even manifest themselves.’

When Leech opened his eyes, he found Philip and the others staring at him. ”What is it?”

”Sir Leech, you are a truly devout believer,” Philip remarked with a sigh. ”I’ve never seen anyone pray for so long.”

”Haha, that’s because I was being sincere.”

’Sincerely hoping the Four Gods would prove effective and let me ascend to the heavens in a single bound.’

’The prayer took so long because my wish list was a bit long. After becoming a lord, there’s just so much I want.’

After a short while, the chapel’s Priest appeared.

A robed Hawkwood Linsen also walked over, taking his place before the Priest.

”Hm?” Leech glanced to his left at Agnes and Steven, whose faces were full of smiling well-wishes. Suddenly, he felt that something wasn’t quite right.

’Aren’t they the ones getting married?’

The chapel doors opened, and the crowd turned to look.

Jennifer Linsen, clad in a long gown, walked slowly down the aisle.

”???” Leech’s head was filled with question marks.

’If I remember correctly, isn’t Jennifer Linsen Steven’s sister and Hawkwood’s daughter?’

’My brain is suddenly short-circuiting.’

”Philip, what’s...” Leech leaned close to Philip and whispered.

Neither the laws of the land nor the church would permit something as absurd as a father marrying his own daughter.

Philip whispered, ”I’ve heard that Miss Jennifer is not actually Sir Hawkwood’s biological child.”

Then he fell silent on the matter.

”Huh?... Ah!” Leech’s mind was a jumble. It took him a moment to process it before understanding dawned.

When he looked at Hawkwood again, his eyes were filled with admiration. Leech realized that this patient, good-tempered old noble, despite having been cuckolded, was a man of incredible skill.

’You cuckold me? Not only will I not expose you, I’ll pretend I don’t even know. Then I’ll raise your daughter and marry her myself.’