Limitless Evolution As a Snake

The hiss comes out before I even mean it to, sharp and low, and I actually feel my hood flare a bit, which is new and kind of embarrassing, honestly.

Wait, fuck, I don’t know how that happened. But either way, Old Mate, don’t look at my girl. You’re right though, she does look good like that.

[System: Jesus cunt, are you on your period? Those snake instincts are wild, haha. Well, you should probably clean her up. Being covered in your magic jizz is probably good to fap over later, but I reckon she could do better than lying in it.]

What do you mean by magic jizz.

[System: Yeah yeah yeah, whatever, I’ll deal with that later.]

I unwind from her slow, careful not to jostle the loose curl of her against my coils, and slither over to the little cabinet by the door for a towel and the wipes. Coming back, I go gentle, wiping the mess from the dip of her stomach, the rise of her chest, the brown skin catching that dim tunnel light like oiled wood. Her breath stays even. The red snake tattoo on her forearm rises and falls with it.

And yeah, okay, I definitely linger a bit longer than strictly necessary between her legs, between her thighs, because god help him those lips look just as good wrecked as they did an hour ago, and he wants to—

She stirs. Not fully, just enough to catch his tail with two lazy fingers, thumb brushing over his scales like she’s checking he’s real.

”You’re staring,” she murmurs, not opening up. A smile tugs at the corner of her mouth. ”I can feel it, M-Matt.”

I’m cleaning. I say to her.

She smiles at me, clear and wide, then rolls over back to sleep.

[System: ME TOO? CAN I LOOK.]

Shut up.

How come you’re here now, and you weren’t before?

[System: System’s been broken, mate, couldn’t access anything. Genuinely thought you were dead, was about to be out of a job again.

Again? This isn’t your first time doing this?

[System: AH, anyway, anyway, congrats on your first fuck and losing your virginity, you dog! That’s a solid 5,000 exp for losing the virginity, two k exp for the actual fucking, and a nice two hundred IP for the whole encounter. If I could have seen it, you probably could have scored more.]

Old Mate, are you actually a cuck. It’s fine if you are, I just don’t vibe with that way myself.

[System: Fuck off, you drongo. No, I’m not, I just—anyway. Yeah.]

Wait, 200 IP and 7,000 exp? That’s insane. I’ll be into my next evolution in no time at this rate.

[System: Uhh, probably not gonna keep pace like that, mate. Killing things nowadays only nets you like five hundred exp a pop.]

I look down; Lyra’s clean now, curled soft into him, breathing slow, one hand still wrapped around my tail like she forgot to let go. She mumbles something in her sleep that sounds suspiciously like his name with a nickname attached, and the loosening thing in his chest does it again, worse this time.

So what you’re telling me is I should just have more sex.

Old Mate goes quiet.

[System: ...Look. I’m not NOT saying that. But if you tell her that’s why, I’ll void the warranty on your whole nervous system.]

Noted.

He tucks his tail over her hip, hums low without deciding to, and lets her sleep.

[System: Alright, break’s over. No time to relax, my little red fuckwit. We got a grind arc to go on.]

What do you mean? I have Lyra; I have my dad problems. I have this whole penthouse; why would I want to go back down to the pipes and sleep in my dog bed?

[System: No, mate, I don’t think you’d even fit in the dog bed pipes anymore; you’ve gotten too big for that. But that’s not the point. Your mafia dad busted up the fighting pits; we need street fights now instead. Get some hand-to-hand, well, tail-to-hand, combat training in.]

Why though.

[System: Well, we probably don’t need to. I dunno what you got planned in that little Dragon, Discount Edition, brain of yours, but we gotta make our way up to the surface sooner rather than later.]

I might have to ask you again, Old Mate. Why.

[System: Don’t worry about it, don’t worry about it. Say goodbye to your little coppa. She’ll be right. Probably.]

What.

[System: Nah, she will, she will. She’ll seek you out later when she needs a top up.]

Okay, wait, actually, hang on, what the hell was that about the magic jizz.

[System: Yeah, see, here’s the thing, lad. Your cum, your jizz, your little fellas, it makes the ladies stronger at whatever they’re doing. Now this ain’t the apocalypse, it ain’t the wild wild west, but Lyra here, she’s a hunter and a coppa.]

Yeah, so.

[System: So, my stupid fire hose, she gets more confident, more strong, more muscle, better at doing what she does. Though she’ll probably take more risks too. But with a reload of your jizz she can pick up the same skills you got.]

Wait, so you’re telling me by fucking her I can make her basically bulletproof.

[System: Technically, yeah. But you could sit here going at it for days, and it still wouldn’t be enough, and she’s got work, and we’ve got missions.]

I glance down at Lyra, still curled against me, her fingers loose around my tail, breathing slow and even, like nothing in the world could touch her right now.

[System: Remember, we’re not even done with the mission. We only killed four out of ten.]

Four out of ten. Right. I forgot about that little detail while I was busy losing my virginity to a police officer who now apparently thinks my name has a nickname attached to it. Oh, and I permanently tattooed a snake onto her body.