I Was Mistaken for a Saint in a Dark Fantasy

The eldest daughter of the Nihilrit Family, Freya Nihilrit.

She hadn’t been in a good mood recently.

It was because she was belatedly facing the gap between her ideals and Reality, something she hadn’t even experienced during adolescence.

”Unnie! No matter how I think about it, I don’t think this makes any sense!”

Inside the Clan Building (Club Room) of the (future) great Hero Party, the Sisters (Valkyries).

The Vanguard of the Hero Party, Freya, slammed her hand on the desk and said.

”A Plea Bargain! A Plea Bargain with Black Sorcerers!”

The cause of her anger was none other than the Pardon of the Black Sorcerers.

Several days ago, the day her Older Brother interrogated the Black Sorcerers.They provided detailed Information about the Round Table of Thirteen, including the Black Sorcerers who had infiltrated the Academy.

In return, while Black Sorcerers—especially those who collaborated with the Round Table of Thirteen—would normally face execution without question,

the Black Sorcerers arrested this time had their sentences reduced to Life Imprisonment.

A Copy of the official document was spread out on the table in the Club Room where the party members were sitting.

— Life Imprisonment to be executed for 4 Black Sorcerers.

— The detention facility is Security Level 2.

She was even dissatisfied with the Prison where they would serve their Life Imprisonment.

A First-Class Prison was a tower-like place located in the middle of a dead winter sea, without a single ray of sunlight.

In contrast, a Security Level 2 Prison was a Prison that, while growing mold, at least let in some scattered sunlight through the smog.

Naturally, it was normal for Black Sorcerers to rot in a First-Class Prison, but they were incarcerated in a Security Level 2 facility.

To Freya, it was a Complaint that these Black Sorcerers were enjoying such luxury.

”Aren’t you angry, Unnie?”

”Why should I be angry?”

”Those bad people aren’t paying the Price for their Crimes!”

”This is enough to say justice has been served.”

However, unlike Freya, Erika’s reaction was lukewarm.

Growing up in the Limbus Pit as a Child, even this seemed like a sufficient realization of justice in her eyes.

Before Yulian came to the Limbus Pit, there was a man who sold Drugs to children to make money.

That old man lived out his natural lifespan and died before Wangcho changed the Rule because of Yulian.

What about the Slave Hunters who tried to sell Erika?

And what about the birth mother and biological father who abandoned Erika in the Limbus Pit?

Compared to them, this Incident was mild.

The Black Sorcerers had lost body parts and were incarcerated in Prison, after all.

At least compared to the Limbus Pit, which remained indifferent even to a person’s death, this was nothing.

”It might be a big Incident in Sanctum Hill, but down below, this is Reality, Freya.”

”......”

Faced with Erika’s words, worn down by countless Actual combat experiences and Reality, Freya couldn’t bring herself to argue back and just bit her lower lip.

Between them, the party’s only healer and Priest, Jenny, stepped in to mediate.

”Junior Freya. I understand how you feel. But they say it couldn’t be helped. They said the Information they provided was worth that much.”

The Military highly valued the Information provided by the Black Sorcerers captured this time.

Until now, Black Sorcerers never opened their mouths despite all sorts of torture and appeasement.

Even when facing death, they never gave up and committed Betrayal against the Round Table.

”They say it’s the first time Black Sorcerers have provided such detailed Information about the Round Table. It means Professor Yulian’s interrogation was that effective.”

The Information they provided was entirely out of reach for The Military.

The Aliases of the Black Sorcerers belonging to the Round Table.

The methods and strategies they used.

Their hideouts and meeting locations.

In addition to the true identities of several Black Sorcerers, the collaborators cooperating with them, and so on.

These were pieces of Information that The Military couldn’t uncover no matter how hard they tried.

”Originally, Black Sorcerers wouldn’t open their mouths no matter what torture or interrogation was used, so even if caught, the Round Table couldn’t be figured out at all. But thanks to what happened this time, they say they’ll be able to properly subjugate the Round Table.”

Black Sorcerers absolutely never opened their mouths.

However, this was not due to Loyalty.

There was only one reason they didn’t betray the Organization.

It was because of the existence of Necromancy within the Round Table.

Black Sorcerers knew better than anyone that death was not the end.

How the Soul of one who betrayed the Organization would suffer.

How the Corpse of one who betrayed the Round Table would suffer.

They didn’t betray because they knew that fact better than anyone.

In other words, what had kept their mouths shut until now was fear.

And what made them open their mouths was a fear greater than the Round Table, and the sense of liberation from that fear.

”Besides, they felt relieved that The Military cooperating with Professor Yulian could protect them, which is why they provided that much Information. Being incarcerated in a Security Level 2 Prison is also because First-Class Prisons are dangerous due to the many other Black Sorcerers.”

At that time, Yulian promised them a few things.

Most of it was about what happens after death.

Things like, if they died, Yulian would take measures so their Souls wouldn’t suffer,

or that he would properly cremate their bodies so they wouldn’t be insulted in any way,

or that he would ensure their names wouldn’t end up on a Dining table.

In the last clause, there was a Happening where the Black Sorcerers cried and begged when Yulian showed a bit of displeasure, asking why such a clause was even there.

The point was this.

”Junior Freya. To me, it doesn’t seem like those people are afraid of dying. If you think about it that way, wouldn’t it be better to just sentence them to Life Imprisonment?”

”But......”

Even so, Freya seemed unconvinced.

”But they are Black Sorcerers who came all the way into the Academy. There were actual Victims too...... And, and...... But to say that’s just Life Imprisonment! Above all!”

Thud!

Once again, the surface of the Teacup on the desk rippled slightly.

”Above all, one of them got a special Pardon and even became Older Brother’s Assistant!”

”That person......”

At that Pointing out, Jenny lost her words.

She could somehow accept up to Life Imprisonment.

Even for realistic reasons, this choice by The Military could induce a division on the opposing side.

The hope (?) that by betraying the Round Table and providing Information, they could receive Life Imprisonment instead of execution.

That hope was a powerful weapon that would strip the Veil off the firmly established Round Table.

That’s why the Black Sorcerers arrested this time were given such Status.

But just one person.

The Pardon Belgian received was hard even for Jenny to accept.

”......It’s because the number of people that person will save is greater than the Evil Deeds he committed...... at least, that’s what the Professor said.”

Jenny also harbored a Complaint about Yulian’s actions here.

But since Yulian said so, she couldn’t bring herself to question it further and had no choice but to shut her mouth, leaving her feelings incompletely resolved.

In the end, Jenny came to one Conclusion regarding this matter.

”Junior Freya. Once you become a Hero, you will face even greater absurdities.”

”The Hero I wished for wasn’t like this......”

The reason Freya became a Hero.

It was to protect people.

In her childhood, she admired her father, a Judicial Officer who executed justice, and dreamed of becoming a Judicial Officer.

However, a Judicial Officer was not someone who protected people before an Incident occurred.

They were merely ones who moved after an Incident happened.

That is why she dreamed of being a Hero.

Because she thought it would be ideal if she could stop it before an Incident happened, and if she could stop it before there were more Victims, it would be the next best thing.

So she became a Hero, but......

”This was not the justice I wished for.”

”Did you not know much about Plea Bargains, Junior Freya?”

”I knew. But...... this is my first time seeing it in Reality.”

Freya hung her head low, despondent.

Jenny looked down at the Crown of the head of her Junior with a pitiful gaze.

Although Jenny’s ideals were different from Freya’s, she could understand the Pain of realizing the gap between ideals and Reality.

Erika also felt Pity for Freya.

”Tch. Sorry. I didn’t know you felt that way.”

Smacking her lips with Appetite and scratching her head, Erika said.

It wasn’t that she sympathized with Freya’s sense of justice.

From the start, to Erika, being a Hero was merely a Means of achieving success and fame, and justice was outside her Interest.

She only harbored a bit of a Feeling of Guilt at seeing her Younger Sister struggling like this.

”No, Unnie. I’m sorry for complaining.”

However, Freya’s complaining didn’t last long.

It was because she knew well that the Hero Party was not a place to force one’s Conviction onto others.

They say an Organization needs a direction, but forcing it upon them oneself is the path to making the Organization sick.

Freya had studied this through Organization Theory during her time in the High School Division.

Because of that, she was used to suppressing her own justice.

”It’s a shame, but I suppose I have to accept it.”

Freya murmured as she picked up her Teacup.

Washing away the Resentment welling up in her chest with a sip of tea.

And that day.

”Older Brother!”

Eclipsing that Effort.

During Dinner time, her Resentment finally erupted.

***

Freya and Erika were renting a room and living in Yulian’s Mansion.

It wasn’t that they couldn’t find a room.

It was just that their family was already living in the Academy Territory, and there were even spare rooms,

so they didn’t feel the need to specifically look for another Boarding House.

Furthermore, it wasn’t like they were unaware of Yulian’s Dual identity.

Instead, Yulian was diligently collecting Monthly Rent from them.

It was a minimal measure to prevent any controversy that a Professor was playing favorites with a Student due to blood ties.

Of course, Yulian was the only one in the Academy Territory who drew such a strict line between public and private matters.

However, there was one time when Yulian exceptionally accommodated Erika and Freya as an Exception.

That was Dinner time.

Other Students had to eat academy meals prepared with Military supplies or spend their Allowance to go to the dining hall.

Erika and Freya enjoyed a Dinner Banquet with his Cooking every day at Yulian’s Mansion.

Of course, Yulian explained it like this.

— ”As a Professor, I merely shared a meal to guide the Students’ futures during the evening. In Reality, I was offering the Opportunity of an evening Banquet to all Students attending my Lecture.”

Since he said that, no controversy arose.

Countless Students responded to his evening Banquet with various purposes in mind,

but no one came to his Banquet more than twice other than Charlotte.

Because of this, most Students did not feel Jealousy toward the luxurious Banquet that Erika and Freya enjoyed every day.

Rather, they just marveled at how they could endure it.

And today, as always, Yulian had a cozy Dinner time with Freya and Erika.

”......”

”......”

Nom nom.

However, there was something different from usual today.

Erika, who was happily devouring the food, was no different than usual.

The problem was Freya.

”Freya.”

”......”

”Is this Cooking not to your liking?”

Today’s menu was Confit.

Made from the legs of a Frog Demonic Beast.

However, since the webbed feet and smooth skin that could identify it as a frog had undergone Removal,

it looked like a normal duck as long as you didn’t consider that it was frog Meat.

In Reality, Erika also gave the Evaluation that it was like duck Meat.

However, Freya was having trouble eating the dish today of all days.

Yulian, looking at her with Worry, offered an Apology to her.

”I’m sorry. I made too adventurous of a dish.”

Before serving the Cooking, Yulian had clearly asked for her understanding.

Saying that if she disliked frogs, he would make it with duck.

And Freya had returned the answer that it was fine.

But even if he asked for understanding, if the person eating it disliked it, that Cooking was a Failure.

Yulian, who held such a Conviction, sincerely apologized to her.

”Because of Ms. Perisia, I have a Confit made of duck, so if you really can’t eat it, I’ll give you that......”

”Older Brother.”

Clatter.

At that moment, Freya, who had been eating the Meat little by little, opened her mouth.

”I, as expected, want to quit learning from Count Barlot.”

”......”

At the name she brought up, Yulian had no choice but to put down his utensils.

Count Barlot.

Once a collaborator of the Black Sorcerers, and someone who was granted a Pardon through a Plea Bargain with only a demotion in Title of Nobility.

There were a few reasons why he received a Pardon.

One was providing Information about the Black Sorcerers.

And the other was passing down the Arcane Magic, which was no different from the family’s Life, to the Nihilrit Family.

Through these two things, his Crime was pardoned.

And externally, the reason his Title of Nobility dropped was known as ’failing to properly maintain Academy Security as a Marquis’.

Freya also knew it as such until just a moment ago.

However, she realized the truth through a conversation with Yulian before the meal.

— ”Freya, a Letter arrived from Father. He says it’s now Summer Vacation, so it would be good for you to learn Arcane Magic at Count Barlot’s Mansion during that time.”

— ”Yes? Why would the Count suddenly pass down Arcane Magic to me?”

— ”That is......”

Arcane Magic was more important than anything to a Noble Family.

It was to the extent that on a family level, there were even families who considered family members as mere means to pass down Arcane Magic.

Freya also understood the Duty of a noble.

Because of that, she understood why her parents made her spend her Summer Vacation there.

Her father lacked the ability to learn Arcane Magic, and her Mother didn’t have particularly outstanding combat power.

She understood the logic of specifically sending her.

However, what she didn’t understand was why Count Barlot would teach this to the Viscount Nihilrit Family.

They weren’t retainers, and she knew he had a Successor.

They weren’t even related in any way.

Why would he suddenly do this?

What resolved that Doubt was Yulian’s explanation.

— ”We made a Plea Bargain.”

A Plea Bargain.

It was another Plea Bargain.

The topic Freya had fought with Unnie about earlier today.

That topic had popped up.

— ”He committed such a Fault.”

And the moment she heard that explanation from her respected Older Brother.

Eventually, the Resentment she had been holding back began to rise,

and soon erupted during the meal.

”Older Brother. I cannot study under such a person.”

She could not accept it.

”Even if he didn’t kill innocent people, it’s still wrong. There are Seniors who ended up with a Disability. But how...... how can the Count just gloss over it this easily?”

Freya shook her head in disgust.

”I can’t. I don’t want to. I...... I......”

She chewed over her Words for a while.

Then, those Words she had harbored in her Intention all this time.

In the end, she let those Words out of her mouth.

”I believe that if a person commits a Crime, they must pay the Price for it.”

”......”

”Honestly speaking, this is too much Hypocrisy.”

”......”

Before long, the sound of utensils echoing in the Dining Room stopped.

Erika had also stopped eating.

However, Erika’s gaze was not directed at Freya, but at Yulian.

Yulian was not looking at Freya.

Keeping his gaze fixed on the Plate of Confit, he only let out a deep Sigh.

”......Hypocrisy, you say.”

”......”

”Yes. That’s right. Freya. I am indeed a hypocrite.”

”No, Older Brother, I didn’t mean it like that......”

Who would dare call this Saint a hypocrite?

Who would dare to do the Pointing fingers at this person?

At least Freya, who had grown up watching Yulian’s Traces, had never dared to think of him as a hypocrite.

That is why the word Hypocrisy she spat out was directed at the Empire, not her Older Brother.

”I didn’t mean you, Older Brother, but that Reality is just......”

”I know.”

”Yes?”

”I also know that wasn’t your Intention when you said it.”

Yulian smiled bitterly.

”But not only is this Reality hypocritical, it’s also a fact that I am too.”

”Who would dare say such a thing!?”

”I would.”

For a moment, Freya’s breath stopped.

Yulian’s gaze turned toward the Ceiling.

Counting the candles on the Chandelier instead of the unseen stars, he murmured.

”Freya. By any chance, are you displeased that the Count committing a Crime against people is ending just like this?”

”......Yes.”

”You must not like the Pardon of the Black Sorcerers that much either.”

”That’s right.”

Yulian gently closed his eyes.

”If so, do you think that everyone who has killed people to accumulate knowledge should receive Punishment?”

”......Yes.”

”If so, then I am also a Sinner.”

”......Yes?”

Freya panicked.

However, Yulian continued speaking without caring.

”In the Limbus Pit, I wasn’t skilled at every Surgery from the beginning.”

Yulian recalled the Time he first headed to D-Sector.

He was a Doctor with a background in General Surgery and the Thoracic Surgery Department.

Obstetrics and Gynecology and Pediatrics were not his domain.

His Obstetrics and Gynecology knowledge lingered in his days as a Medical Student; it was far from that of a Specialist.

Even so, right now, he possessed an advanced Proficiency in Obstetrics and Gynecology and Pediatrics beyond anyone in this world.

There was one reason.

”Even knowing people would die by my hands, I used them as Ingredients to raise my Proficiency.”

It was because he had experienced it.

The Technique of Surgery and Principle of the human body he possessed through his Trauma Surgery knowledge.

Based on this, he had been Leading Surgery in Obstetrics and Gynecology.

Rationalizing that if it weren’t for him, there would be no one to reach out to them, he used them as experimental Ingredients.

”So many people have died in my hands.”

A Mother in Childbirth died because he couldn’t stop the Bleeding.

There was a Mother in Childbirth whose legs were paralyzed because of a Nerve he made a wrong Incision on.

There were those who hovered between life and death and gained a permanent Disability because of a botched Blood transfusion.

The worst memory was that there was a Time he even tried to dissect the Corpse of a dead Child to master Pediatric Surgery Techniques.

He used Rationalization to the maximum, absolute maximum, but...

He was aware that the things he had done were far from Absolute Good.

”When the Black Sorcerers said they killed people in the double digits, my heart felt heavy.”

The people he had caused to die or end up with a Disability in this manner did not stop at double digits.

Even so, he did not stop.

It was because he knew there was no other way to acquire knowledge but this.

No matter how much he ran simulations beforehand using Corpses and engaged in Actual combat.

His first Actual combat Patients for each Surgery were, without Exception, no different from his Experimental Subjects.

”The Craniotomy is also a Technique I acquired in this way.”

He was not a Doctor in Neurosurgery.

Because of that, his Craniotomy Proficiency was at a beginner’s level.

Even so, the reason he could perform it as easily as eating a meal now was because there were many ’Experimental Subject’ Patients he failed to save.

A laborer who lost his footing at a construction site.

An old man who slipped on the stairs.

A gang member swept up in Factional strife.

Even knowing he had no choice but to kill them with his Proficiency, he just had to do it.

Because in this world, there was no Senior, Advising Professor, or The System to act as a safety net for him.

”Countless Clinical Trials are taking place at the trading company. In Reality, there are people dying from those Side Effects. And I prescribe that Medicine even knowing that.”

It wasn’t just Surgery; Medicine was the same.

No matter how much safety was prioritized or attention was paid, it couldn’t be helped.

Ultimately, Experimental Drugs inevitably cause unexpected Side Effects.

Among them were Side Effects one would have to carry for a Lifetime.

”Many people have also died because of the Vaccine I made.”

The Vaccine especially weighed heavily on his heart.

The Vaccine is one of those Pharmaceuticals from Modern times that is administered while ignoring the Side Effects that could arise, based on the perspective of Utilitarianism.

Every Doctor knows that a Vaccine can have Side Effects, but the moment they consider that, they have to fear a worse Pandemic, so...

ignoring those Side Effects and repeatedly writing an uncertain Prescription is the essence of vaccination.

Even though the current Smallpox Vaccine has become much safer after repeated Improvement,

Side Effects were still reported with a 0.1% probability.

That was why he thought.

Immature Surgery, unconfirmed New Medicine, and the Vaccine.

He had saved tens of millions of people, but.

He believed he had massacred hundreds of thousands of people whose faces he didn’t even know.

If he considered all of this, the number of people he had killed or caused to gain a Disability was beyond comparison to any Black Sorcerer.

Even though Goodwill was laid as the foundation.

He did not avert his eyes from the gates of hell lying beneath that Goodwill.

”So Freya, just as you said, I truly am a hypocritical human being.”

He had never once thought of himself as a Saint.

For a Saint must be Absolute Good,

and the number of people he knowingly killed was an amount that could never receive a Pardon.

From the beginning, a Doctor can never become a Saint.

A Doctor is bound to have a Time of inexperience, and no matter the support of a highly skilled Professor, they are bound to show immature moments.

And one day, a Surgeon will perform their first Leading Surgery.

That first Leading Surgery Patient, in a sense, was the Doctor’s Victim.

’This is why doctors in vital departments often seek out alcohol and Cigarettes.’

An inexperienced Doctor in Internal Medicine who failed to discover Colon Cancer smokes a Cigarette.

A Surgeon who incorrectly touched a Nerve seeks alcohol.

Could this sense of debt be the shackle tying them to their department?

His teacher had once said this, and Yulian finally understood it now.

”That is why I consider myself a hypocrite.”

Saying so, Yulian took out his Notebook.

The moment Freya wondered if it was Yulian’s Grimoire, he began reciting the names written in the Notebook one by one.

”Regen. Atsuka. Tom. Inel...... Today, a Patient with Demon Disease came in. I performed an Excision on their large intestine to reduce their Demon Disease Symptoms.”

The Patient’s disease was Crohn’s Disease.

It was Terminal Crohn’s Disease.

”Perhaps because that Patient had their large intestine undergo Excision to this extent, it will be hard for them to live long.”

He tried to run a Calculation of the life expectancy in his head.

It was an elderly Patient who had suffered from completely unmanaged Crohn’s Disease for Decades without Steroids.

Having excised the intestines to this extent, he estimated 5 years at most.

But it wasn’t like there were Options to not cut it.

Because if left alone, it would turn into Colon Cancer.

”I killed a person today as well. To lessen that Guilt, I am recording it in this Notebook like this.”

”Older Brother...... Older Brother...... That’s......”

Freya was confused.

It was because she didn’t know what Words to say.

Should this also be called Hypocrisy?

In the end, as if hurriedly spitting out any Words, she defended him.

”But Older Brother...... in the end, you saved far more people.”

”That’s right. So I am daringly called a Saint, and am receiving a Pardon.”

He let out a deep Sigh.

”That is why those who committed Crimes received a Pardon.”

”......Ah.”

”Those people can save far more people beyond the Crimes they committed. That is why I couldn’t bear to let them go and tried to save them.”

Yulian gave a self-deprecating smile.

Yulian thought.

If there is the ability and will for Atonement, that Opportunity must be provided.

Because he had been like that.

His inexperienced days.

Just like how those who died due to his Fault, inexperience, and mistakes had forgiven him.

Just like how he was able to grow amidst that pity and Opportunity.

He thought that Opportunity should be provided to others as well.

Because he knew better than anyone that if not, his own existence could never be justified.

”I projected myself onto those people. Because I am a hypocrite. That is why I am saving them.”

Yulian looked at the piece of Confit on his Plate.

Along with that, his countless Cookings flashed through his mind.

Heart Tartare Steak.

Shark Eyeball Arani Soup.

Ostrich Liver Steak.

He challenged all sorts of bizarre Ingredients.

He once dressed it up like a veteran gamer’s Endgame Content, but...

In a corner of his heart, he was realizing his own truth.

Heart. Eyeball. Liver. Things no one would touch.

Things that deserved to be thrown away becoming something else in front of a fire—he liked that.

As if granting them a Pardon.

As if trying to make Proof that they also had value by transforming their ’disgustingness’ into taste.

Perhaps this was also a part of his Rationalization.

The Frog Hind Leg Confit was the same.

It was his own ritual and Proof to confirm that he was not wrong.

”Freya. So I will speak clearly.”

He couldn’t bring himself to raise his head.

He didn’t have the courage to look at his Younger Sister, who harbored Uprightness from admiring their father.

Because he felt too ashamed of himself to do so.

”I am not as much of a Great person as people think.”

That is why he thought.

He was by no means a Saint,

and that he should not be called a Saint.