I Shall Seal the Heavens

Chapter 176: Believe Your Granny

Originally Meng Hao had planned to speak placatingly, but then opted to sound scornful and disbelieving. “If you can transform into a shiny bag of holding that obviously contains a precious treasure, then I’ll believe you,” he said. He worked hard to make himself sound as antagonistic as possible.

In a rage, the meat jelly instantly transformed into a shining, golden bag of holding. It was transparent, and within could be seen a square cauldron as well as four circulating demonic swords. The four swords revolved around the cauldron, and at a single glance, it was obvious that it was a precious treasure.

Even more realistic was how the cauldron and four swords seemed to be trying to push their way out of the bag of holding, as if they wanted to escape.

“Well, what do you think…?” The voice of the meat jelly emanated out from the bag of holding.

Inside, he was surprised, but on the outside, a look of disdain covered his face. “There’s no glow!”

There was a rustling sound, and even as the words left his mouth, the bag of holding began to emit a blinding glow which shot up into the sky. The golden light shined up, instantly catching the attention of the eight Cultivators. Immediately, they flew in Meng Hao’s direction.

“Do you believe me n….?” came the voice of the meat jelly from within the bag of holding. Before it could finish speaking, Meng Hao grabbed the bag of holding and threw it toward the approaching Cultivators.

“Believe your granny!!” Meng Hao had been raised not to curse, but in this case he couldn’t help it. He shot away from the meat jelly as quickly as possible.

He had thrown the glowing, golden bag of holding away from himself with all the power he could muster from his Cultivation base. As it neared the approaching eight Cultivators, they stared open-mouthed. They all had slightly different expressions. Some were suspicious, some were cautious, some even looked pleasantly surprised. However, each and every one reached out with outstretched arms to snatch the bag of holding.

“You tricked me! That pisses me off!” sounded out the voice of the meat jelly. Just when it was about to be grabbed by one of the Cultivators, it vanished. Then it reappeared off in the distance, directly on Meng Hao’s head. It once again transformed into a green hat.

As if that didn’t satisfy it, popping sounds rang out as one hat after another piled up on his head, over and over again, high up into the air….

Soon, the stack of hats was taller than Meng Hao’s entire person. The eight Cultivators looked on, completely dumbfounded. They had never seen something like this in their entire lives.

Meng Hao’s face grew even more unsightly. He felt like he was about to go nuts. If the meat jelly took this shape, then he would be the center of attention no matter where he went….

“Fellow Daoist with the green hats,” said one of the Cultivators coldly, a middle-aged man with a frown. “This is Blood Demon Sect territory. Outsiders are not welcome. Even less welcome are people who come here to make fools of us. Take your green hat and get the hell out of here!”

Meng Hao had just been about to leave when the words reached his ears. He suddenly stopped, turning to look at the eight Cultivators. His eyes shone fiercely. At the moment, he was in a horrific mood, and these words did not please him whatsoever.

“You still dare to turn your head back?” said the middle-aged Cultivator with a cold laugh. “In that case, why don’t you leave your eyes with me after you leave. With those green hats, you’ll be a laughingstock anyway.” With that, he and his companions shot toward Meng Hao.

“Screw off!” said Meng Hao, suddenly lifting his hand and waving his sleeve toward them. The power of his Cultivation base exploded out. A massive wind screamed out and then slammed into them.

A booming filled the air, and blood sprayed from the mouths of the eight patrolling Blood Demon Sect disciples. Their bodies trembled. A look of disbelief covered the face of the man who had taunted Meng Hao, and his pupils constricted. From what he could see, Meng Hao was at the mid Foundation Establishment stage, but his attack just now had been filled with the might like that of the late Foundation Establishment stage. Blood oozed out of his mouth as he skidded backward in retreat. When he saw the cold look in Meng Hao’s eyes, his heart shook.

Realizing he had been rash, the middle-aged Cultivator said, “Fellow Daoist, this….” Even as he began to speak, however, Meng Hao’s eyes shone with even more ferocious iciness.

The man’s face fell. He and his companions turned into beams of prismatic light that shot away into the distance. When they were far away from Meng Hao, they finally came to a stop and exchanged glances.

“That guy is just too aggressive. Where did he come from? Elder Brother, let’s report him to Master. Master will surely dispatch some people to apprehend him!”

“Correct. Elder Brother, this is Blood Demon Sect territory. Can we really allow that guy to just run amok?”

“Shut the hell up!” growled the middle-aged man, his face dark and unreadable. “He’s young, and with just a single sweep of his hand, look at what he did to us. Do you really think he’s just some random person? He’s obviously not a Cultivator of the Solitary Sword Sect. With war brewing between our Sect and the Solitary Sword Sect, we can’t afford to provoke the wrath of additional Sects! He’s obviously just passing through and doesn’t want to make enemies, that’s why he went easy on us. All of you, shut your mouths. Forget about what happened here. There will always be friction among Cultivators like us. There’s no need to report some trifling incident like this to the Sect.” Having made his decision, he continued on into the distance, his fellow Cultivators in tow.

After they were some ways away, the vines on the ground beneath them that they hadn’t noticed this entire time, burrowed into the earth and disappeared.

Back in Meng Hao’s location, Meng Hao stamped his foot onto the ground. The soil seethed as the dark red vines emerged to sway back and forth in front of him. Moments later, they transformed into a small, dark red fruit, which he placed into his bag of holding. Finally, he turned his attention to the hat on his head.

“You can’t do that! It’s wrong. If you let them go, you should trust them completely. You can’t secretly dispatch something to follow them. That’s wrong. That’s immoral. Eee? I just remembered something. You cussed at me just now!!

“Cussing is wrong. It’s immoral. My granny never did anything to offend you. Why did you have to bring her up? It’s very strange. What relationship do you have with her? Unless…” Suddenly, the meat jelly’s pedantic voice filled with a strange tone. “Unless the two of you….”

Meng Hao ignored it. He slapped his bag of holding to produce a set of clothing. He ripped off some strips of fabric and stuffed them into his ears. Immediately, the meat jelly’s voice became quieter. But then, the meat jelly gave a dry cough. It started to talk, and this time, its voice could be heard directly inside of Meng Hao’s head.

Meng Hao’s expression was somewhat haggard. He stared off into nothing for a while, then finally sighed and tossed the strips of cloth away.

“Now I know why people call you Ultimate Vexation,” he said. Immediately, the meat jelly began to tremble with excitement.

“Why? Why?! This name was given to me a very, very, very long time ago by an old friend. I asked him about it many times, but he would never tell me what it means.” The meat jelly’s full and undivided attention was now focused on Meng Hao.

Meng Hao didn’t say anything. Instead, he pondered why the person who named the meat jelly wouldn’t explain the meaning of the name. Then he thought of the meat jelly’s long-windedness, and he shivered. He understood. By providing an answer regarding the name, it would give the meat jelly a conversation topic that would certainly last for months.

The thought of that made his scalp go numb. Anyone who had no experience dealing with the meat jelly couldn’t comprehend the nature of the torment it brought. He decided to change the topic.

“With you looking like this, we really can’t proceed onward,” said Meng Hao. “Is there any way you can take some form other than a pile of hats?” He was careful in his wording, fearful of agitating the thing. He could only imagine what it would look like if it decided to become a mountain of green hats perched on top of his head. What would happen then?

His tone was non-argumentative, but inside, his heart was filled with helplessness. He thought of the Blood Mastiff, and suddenly missed it terribly. Unfortunately, it was sleeping now.

Actually, Meng Hao’s words seemed to excite the meat jelly. “Eee? If I’m not a hat, then what shape should I take?” Meng Hao was used to this, so he didn’t say anything at first. He sat cross-legged within the mountain forest and retrieved the Time-refining jade page. He cast his Spiritual Sense into it and began to study the contents.

Some time passed, and then Meng Hao’s eyes glittered. He began to mutter to himself. “Time of Spring and Autumn requires a Spring tree and the frost of Autumn. The fire of mid-Winter, the spirit of Summer. Refine the four seasons, fuse with the Cultivation base. Refine the four seasons again to produce a small sword.

“This sword must be carefully nurtured. With enlightenment of Time, the veins of a hundred years can fill the sword. After the hundred years, a thousand years will pass, and it will take shape. In ten thousand years, it will appear to shake heaven and earth, the first Sword of Time.” Meng Hao frowned as he gazed at the jade page. The sword contained no small might, but the time involved in its creation seemed too vast.

“Han Bei is really focused on this sword, so it can’t really take that much time, can it…? There must be other methods that can be used to speed up the appearance of the sword.” Lost in thought, Meng Hao thought to the third jade page that the meat jelly had swallowed, as well as the first jade page, which had been sucked back into the circular cauldron.

“The answer must be on the third page. Too bad this damned meat jelly ate it.” Meng Hao lifted his head and looked at the meat jelly. About an hour had passed since he began studying the Time refining information. Of course, the meat jelly had been talking the entire time.

“What do I change into? What do I change into? What do I change into?” It had flown off of Meng Hao’s head and was now hopping back and forth in front of him. It looked very excited.

“Can you change into that jade page you swallowed?” Meng Hao said suddenly.

“Huh? Ok…” It agreed, and then immediately changed its mind. “Eee? Wait a second. What are you trying to pull? No way! It’s mine. You’re not getting your hands on it.”