I Might Be A Fake Cultivator

Translator: Henyee Translations Editor: Henyee Translations

The three beast pets had already begun a free-for-all battle of their own for the plate of fried rice.

He knew that his cooking skills weren’t anywhere near good enough to produce such tasty fried rice; all of this could only be attributed to the frying pan.

This truly was the best frying pan in the world!

An Lin could already see a glorious future laid out in front of him, a future in which he would become the most sought-after chef in the world!

He could open his own restaurants and charge extremely high prices. One bowl of egg fried rice would be priced at 998 spirit stones and he would take no reservations; it would be first come first serve and customers would have to clean up after themselves…

A stupid grin appeared on his face as he envisioned his bright future.

He could become the first god-tier chef of the Tai Chu continent and earn countless spirit stones. He would be one of the richest men on the continent and marry the most beautiful woman in the world en route to his dream life!

“Big Brother An, cook another plate of egg fried rice for us! Woof!” Da Bai ran up to An Lin with his face bruised and battered and implored him with big, puppy-dog eyes.

“That’s right, one plate isn’t enough for the three of us, please cook two more plates, Big Brother An.” Xiao Chou also had Da Bai’s claw marks on his face as he also turned to An Lin with an imploring gaze.

“Master, make three more plates for us, we won’t fight then,” Xiao Hong latched onto An Lin’s arm with a fawning smile as she pleaded in her sweet voice.

An Lin was still basking in excitement and immediately agreed to make four plates of fried rice!

Clang, clang…

Chop chop chop…

Done!

The beast pets immediately pounced on the four new plates of egg fried rice!

Several seconds later.

“Ptui, ptui, ptui… What the f*ck is this? Did I just eat dog food? No… This is shit! Woof!” Da Bai roared with incredulity.

“I refuse to admit this is egg fried rice!” Xiao Chou turned a scorching gaze upon An Lin after having a spoonful of the new fried rice.

“Why would you do this, Master? You can just tell us if you don’t want to cook for us.” Xiao Hong turned to An Lin with tears in her eyes.

An Lin faltered slightly after seeing their reactions and a sense of foreboding welled up in his heart.

He scooped up a spoonful of egg fried rice and had a taste.

“Oh, that’s disgusting!”

He immediately spat out the egg fried rice.

This was absolute sh*t compared to his first plate of egg fried rice!

It actually wasn’t that bad from normal standards, but it tasted like absolute garbage compared to the first plate of egg fried rice he had made.

An Lin suddenly came to a realization. This was just normal fried rice. The first time was just a fluke, the frying pan didn’t have any special abilities.

Boom!

He felt as if a clap of thunder had exploded in his, and he stood rooted to the spot as his visions of the future shattered into pieces around him.

“My dream of becoming a godly chef is over…

“I’ve lost my ability and I’ve lost everything…”

An Lin suddenly began to laugh as if he was deranged while he stared at the frying pan.

The worst thing you could do to anyone was to elevate them into the heavens before sending them plummeting straight to hell!

“You f*cking frying pan, I’ll destroy you!”

Bang bang, clang clang, boom boom…

An Lin once again began to launch a series of frenzied attacks against the frying pan.

“So it was because of this frying pan all along, Big Brother An? Let me help you, woof!” Da Bai pounced on the frying pan with rage.

“Let me help too!” Xiao Chou swung his silver staff down onto the frying pan with all his might!

“May the sun purify this evil! You heinous frying pan, give me my egg fried rice!” Xiao Hong raised her hand high into the air as golden beams of light relentlessly rained down upon the reprehensible frying pan.

Bang bang, clang clang, dang dang, boom boom…

After giving the frying pan a thorough beating, the four of them collapsed to the ground, panting heavily.

As expected of the best frying pan in the world, it was still completely unscathed even after such a fearsome assault.

“Big Brother An, I think we’ve beaten the frying pan into submission now, how about you try to cook another batch of egg fried rice? Woof!” Da Bai looked at the frying pan with anticipation in his eyes.

An Lin nodded. “Alright, I’ll try.”

He also felt like this frying pan was somehow intelligent. Now that they had given it a thorough beating, it should perform as it did the first time.

Clang, clang…

Chop chop chop…

A plate of egg fried rice was soon ready.

“Have a taste.” An Lin passed the egg fried rice around.

Da Bai, Xiao Hong, and Xiao Chou dug in impatiently.

And after that…

Bang bang, clang clang, dang dang, boom boom…

Bang bang, clang clang, dang dang, boom boom…

Da Bai, Xiao Hong, and Xiao Chou had completely lost faith in the egg fried rice and vented their rage once again on the frying pan.

An Lin lay down on his bed and closed his eyes with a dejected expression.

He was already exhausted from the free-for-all battle and now all his hopes and dreams had been crushed. On top of all the injuries he had sustained, he still didn’t even know how to cheer Xu Xiaolan up…

This was all the system’s damn fault!!!

The next day.

An Lin got up, stretched his body and cooked a beef and eggplant stir fry.

The beef and eggplant stir fry was soon ready and an exquisite, irresistible scent wafted throughout the kitchen.

An Lin’s whole body trembled and a thought began to occur to him as he caught a whiff of the delicious scent in the air.

He picked up a piece of beef with his chopsticks and bit down upon it…

“Ah! I can see the angels in the sky! I can see a starry night over a snowy mountain… And I can smell the exquisite scent of roast beef over a campfire.”

An Lin exclaimed in shock, and his chopsticks streaked through the air like lightning as he devoured the stir fry in a flash!

He seemed to have suddenly understood something. He conducted an experiment where he cooked another plate of beef and eggplant stir fry the exact same way he had cooked the first plate to find that it tasted like absolute sh*t. He tried to cook another plate of egg fried rice; that tasted like sh*t. He then tried to cook some pork; that too tasted like sh*t.

A brand new door seemed to have been opened up in front of him.

“I get it now, I understand… This frying pan won’t make every dish taste better; its effects are only limited to the first dish cooked each day!!”

An Lin began to roar with laughter.

He couldn’t become the godly chef he had envisioned, but that didn’t matter. This at least showed that the frying pan had its uses and the effort he had expended during the free-for-all battle was not for nothing!

As for the second plate of beef and eggplant stir fry well as the egg fried rice and pork, he fed all those to Da Bai.

Da Bai was still thinking about the heavenly egg fried rice from the previous day, and he reluctantly ate the food An Lin piled in front of him with an expression of profound sadness on his face.

An Lin’s eyes were extremely bright. He had finally figured out a way to cheer Xu Xiaolan up.

He intended to do so through the use of the frying pan!

He was going to use culinary excellence to melt her heart!

“Xu Xiaolan, wait for me, Chef God An Lin is going to conquer your stomach tomorrow!”