I'm Pretending to Cultivate in Kindergarten

Chapter 35: Chapter 35: Courage

”Send it! Just send it!” she shouted as she finished typing, her finger hovering over the send button!

Jiang Xueli went to the sink and filled it with hot water. She untied the bands from her twin tails and set them on her phone nearby.

The phone screen still showed her chat with Lin Zhengran.

But the message in the text box, ”Lin Zhengran, today is my birthday...” remained unsent.

With her long hair draped over her shoulders, Jiang Xueli gazed at her own listless, pallid reflection in the mirror and sighed. ”No wonder that big dummy is always saying I shout all the time. Maybe he’s right. What on earth am I even doing...”

Jiang Xueli washed her hair and toweled it dry.

While blow-drying her hair, she was struck by a sudden whim. Facing the mirror, she tied her waist-length hair into a single ponytail.

She clasped her hands in front of her, mimicking some pure, innocent maiden.

Blushing, she pretended the mirror was a certain someone. ”B-Big dummy... today is my birth—” She squeezed her eyes shut, her heart not in it as she continued, ”It’s not that I absolutely need you to hang out with me, but I just happened to find two movie tickets!”

Jiang Xueli stared blankly at her reflection, muttering, ”So the ending’s the same. Guess it wasn’t about the hairstyle after all, huh?”

She retied her hair into twin tails, deciding the single ponytail just didn’t suit her. After she finished drying her hair, she sat on the sofa. Looking at her phone, she opened Baidu and searched for a question she had looked up many years before.

”What is tsundere?”

The answer from Baidu was still: [A god from ancient times!]

In the past, Jiang Xueli had never paid attention to the first two words, ”ancient times.” She had only seen ”god” and assumed it was high praise. But now, she was suddenly curious why it specified a god from *ancient times*.

Search: ”Why are tsunderes called gods from ancient times?”

Baidu displayed:

[Why are tsunderes called gods from ancient times? Because the tsundere personality type used to be extremely popular. A girl playing hard to get, her shyness, her verbal stubbornness—these were all considered very cute traits by guys.

However, this personality type has a fatal flaw: if taken to the extreme, the tsundere can never be the one to initiate, can never take that crucial first step. This creates an opening for someone else to move in. The only possible outcome is a missed connection, ending in separation as she watches her beloved end up with someone else.]

Jiang Xueli’s listless eyes trembled as she read the explanation, especially when she saw the final word: ”separation.”

Her eyes widened. Perhaps her exhaustion from a sleepless night was getting to her.

A rapid series of images, things that had never actually happened, flashed before her eyes.

In these visions, Lin Zhengran and He Qing were laughing and teasing each other. They grew up, they embraced, they kissed, they moved in together. And she, the one who never took the initiative, could only watch as the distance between her and Lin Zhengran grew with every step they took toward each other. Finally, she was sitting in a pew, staring blankly as they stood together at their wedding.

”Best wishes to the newlyweds!!”

Suddenly, a chorus of voices shouted from downstairs in the complex.

Jiang Xueli shot up from her daze in a panic. Her vision blurred. Wiping the corners of her eyes with her arm, she was surprised to find tears.

Jiang Xueli ran to the balcony to find the source of the shouting. Down below, a couple from the complex, soon to be married, were being showered with congratulations by their friends.

Her red, tear-filled eyes stared at the happy couple.

In her daze, she saw them as a grown-up Lin Zhengran and He Qing. Her lips parted.

”Big dummy... no...”

When she came to her senses again, Jiang Xueli was staring blankly at the unfamiliar couple below. She slowly clenched her fists, her jaw tight, her gaze firm and determined.

As if she had made a monumental decision, she spun around and ran out of her apartment.

Her perky twin tails seemed to sense their owner’s mood, bouncing anxiously with every step she took down the stairs.

On her way down, Jiang Xueli pulled out her phone, found Lin Zhengran’s number, and called him without a second thought.

The call went through almost instantly.

Lin Zhengran sounded bored. ”Hm? What’s up?”

Jiang Xueli yelled, ”Big dummy! You’re home right now, aren’t you? Come downstairs! I have to talk to you!”

”What’s going on? I just got back to the complex from the supermarket. I was just about to...”

”I’ll come to you! Don’t go upstairs, just wait for me downstairs for a minute!” she interrupted.

Jiang Xueli hung up and sprinted toward Lin Zhengran’s building, the images that had flashed before her eyes still incredibly vivid.

It felt like that was the genuine outcome awaiting her if she continued to hesitate. Jiang Xueli wiped her tears as she ran, her gaze hardening with resolve as she stared straight ahead.

’Big dummy, even if we end up going our separate ways, I at least need to hear you tell me yourself that you don’t like me. I won’t just hand you over to someone else.’

Across the intersection, Lin Zhengran was standing at the entrance to the complex, holding his groceries.

Seeing Jiang Xueli sprinting toward him, panting for breath, Lin Zhengran asked curiously, ”What’s the big rush? Is something wrong?”

The moment she saw Lin Zhengran, a wave of relief washed over Jiang Xueli.

Her pace slowed. Hiding the movie tickets behind her back, she struggled to even out her breathing as she walked right up to him.

Lin Zhengran prompted, ”Well? What is it?”

A blush crept onto her cheeks as her tsundere nature took hold. She knew his personality. Even if she handed him the tickets, he probably wouldn’t go with her. Lin Zhengran hated doing this kind of ”boring” stuff. This was the very reason she could never bring herself to ask.

But...

”B-Big dummy!” she yelled, startling him. Throwing all caution to the wind, Jiang Xueli squeezed her eyes shut, her mind went blank, and she thrust her arms forward. ”Will you go to the movies with me?!”

’I said it...’

Even she was stunned by her own actions. When she calmed down enough to open her eyes, she was met with Lin Zhengran’s shocked expression and felt so mortified she wanted the ground to swallow her whole.

Jiang Xueli quickly snatched the movie tickets back behind her, turning her head away, her face beet red as she stammered:

”I-I mean... I just found two movie tickets in a trash can... I was thinking it would be a waste if no one used them.”

She let out an awkward laugh, trying to save face. Her fingers clenched nervously.

”But, I guess it’s not a big deal if they get wasted. It’s for some cheesy romance movie anyway. Pretty sure even elementary school kids don’t watch this stuff anymore, so it doesn’t really matter if we go or...”

She froze, cutting herself off. Looking at Lin Zhengran again, she asked softly, ”...Will you go with me? Though, I know you’ll definitely say no.”

Lin Zhengran’s shocked expression faded into a calm one. He let out a long sigh and took the two tickets from her hand. ”And here I was wondering what was going on. This is it? This is the ’big deal’?”

”Huh?” Jiang Xueli was confused.

”Li-li-li...” She stuttered, feeling insulted. She clenched her little fists and leaned forward in a fit of impotent rage.

”’A little deal’?! You call this ’a little deal’?! Do you have any idea how much courage it took for me to ask you?! You big dummy! You big oaf! Why does someone like you even have girls who like you?! Even if you don’t want to go with me—”

Lin Zhengran said, ”But I can go with you.”

A car drove past on the road.

Jiang Xueli stopped mid-rant. Her mind went blank as she stared at him, stunned. ”What did you say...?”

Lin Zhengran said softly, ”I said I can go with you. It’s your birthday today, right? Taking you to a movie is no big deal. Consider it half of your birthday present from me.”