I'm Just an Innkeeper, Why Are You All Kneeling?

Lin Fan had learned three sacred truths during his years working in a restaurant.

Never argue with a customer.

Never argue with the chef.

And never — under any circumstances — believe a manager who says, ”Just one last thing before you leave.”

That ”one last thing” had just cost him two extra hours of his life he was never getting back.

By the time he finished scrubbing the last plate, his twelve-hour shift had ballooned into fourteen. His manager strolled past in a fresh jacket, smelling faintly of cologne and free time.

”Good work today,” the man said.

Lin Fan looked at the mountain of dishes he’d just conquered. Then at his manager’s clean, dry hands.

”Thank you,” Lin Fan said, in the flat, professional tone of a man plotting a slow-acting curse.

The door shut. Lin Fan exhaled through his nose.

”May your next bowl of noodles arrive with no seasoning packet.”

It wasn’t much of a curse. But it was 11 p.m., his feet were screaming, and it was the strongest thing he had left in him.

He was twenty-six. No house, no car, no secret billionaire grandfather waiting to die dramatically and leave him everything. He didn’t even own the restaurant he practically lived in. But he knew how to run one — inventory, complaints, kitchen chaos, the whole miserable orchestra.

Complaints, especially. That afternoon a customer had complained his soup was too hot. Lin Fan swapped it. The man complained the new soup was too cold. Lin Fan smiled with the serene patience of a monk, mostly because his manager was standing three feet behind him.

Now, walking home in the dark, deciding whether instant noodles counted as dinner for the fourth time that week, Lin Fan heard someone scream.

”LOOK OUT!”

He turned. A child stood frozen in the middle of the road. Headlights bore down on him like judgment day.

Lin Fan didn’t think. His body just moved — the same reflex that had spent years catching falling trays before they hit the floor.

He shoved the kid clear.

Then something hit him.

There was no pain. Just the night sky, spinning slow and quiet above him, and distant voices shouting for an ambulance that was already too late.

Ah, Lin Fan thought, strangely calm. So this is how it ends.

He’d imagined a hundred ways his life might go. Saving enough to open his own tiny restaurant. Getting rich by some miracle. Finally telling a manager exactly what he thought of him and getting fired on the spot with great personal satisfaction.

Getting flattened by a car after a double shift had never made the list.

His vision dimmed. One last, deeply unfair thought drifted through his mind.

I didn’t even get my last paycheck.

Then — nothing.

Lin Fan opened his eyes to blue sky, white clouds, and a man flying overhead on a sword.

He blinked. The man kept flying.

He blinked again. Still flying.

A second figure shot past on a floating green cloud, shouting, ”Move! I’m late for the sect meeting!” The first cultivator cursed and sped up. Both vanished behind a mountain in the time it took Lin Fan to sit up.

He sat there. Silent. Processing.

Then he looked down at his own hands — not his hands, not exactly — and felt a flood of memories that weren’t his own pour into his skull like someone had opened a dam.

Azure Origin World. Cultivators. Sects. Spiritual Qi. Spirit Stones. Fragmented, patchy, but enough.

Lin Fan looked at the mountain where the flying men had disappeared, and something in his chest — something that had been crushed flat under fourteen-hour shifts and unpaid overtime — cracked open.

”Cultivation world,” he whispered.

He was on his feet before he finished the sentence.

He’d transmigrated. Actually transmigrated. He’d read enough novels to know exactly how this went: stumble into some crumbling sect, get humiliated by an arrogant young master, discover his ”trash” spiritual roots were secretly the strongest in ten thousand years, slap said young master into the dirt, ascend.

And — he straightened his spine — there would probably be beautiful senior sisters involved. Statistically. It was basically guaranteed.

Twenty-six years of instant noodles suddenly felt like a very small price for this.

”Alright,” Lin Fan said, cracking his knuckles. ”Let’s begin.”

He sat cross-legged in the dirt, closed his eyes, and did what every fragment of memory told him to do — reach inward and feel for the spiritual energy of heaven and earth.

Nothing.

He opened one eye. ”First try. No pressure.”

He tried again. Five minutes of intense concentration produced exactly one bug crawling up his sleeve.

He turned to face the mountains. Nothing. He turned to face the forest. Nothing. He tried lying down, which felt insane, and got nothing for his trouble except a rock in his back.

He stood, dusting off his robes, jaw tightening.

Fine. No cultivation talent. Every protagonist needed a rough start.

That’s what the System was for.

He looked at the empty air with the confidence of a man who had read one thousand novels and absorbed zero of their warnings.

”System?”

Silence.

”...System?”

A breeze rustled the trees. Somewhere, a bird laughed. Possibly at him.

His smile faltered by exactly one degree. ”Ancient expert sealed inside my soul, perhaps?”

Nothing.

“Grandpa in a ring?” He checked. No ring. Not even a cheap one.

No talent. No ring. No inheritance. No grandfather. He checked his pockets — no Spirit Stones either, which was, frankly, the most alarming discovery yet. He’d been poor exactly once already in his life and had no interest in a rerun, especially with the added bonus of being eaten by a magic beast.

”Fine,” he muttered, dusting off his sleeves. ”New plan. Find a town. Find work. Find food. Figure out the flying-sword business later.”

He had restaurant experience. Surely even Immortals needed someone to wash their bowls.

He’d taken exactly two steps down the road when something detonated inside his skull.

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DING!

He froze mid-stride.

Golden light erupted in front of his face, searing bright, dripping with the kind of drama he’d been promised.

[Universal Hospitality System successfully bound.]

Lin Fan stood completely still.

One second.

Two seconds.

Then he threw both fists into the air with a whoop that sent an unlucky bird rocketing out of a nearby tree in sheer terror.

”I KNEW it! There it is! There’s my golden finger!”

Cultivation talent, gone — fine, temporary setback. No money — a phase. No background — overrated anyway. He had a System now, and Systems fixed everything. That was practically the laws of physics in this genre.

He looked the panel over for something — anything — to interact with. A status screen. An attribute page. A skill tree. Something with the word cheat in it.

There was exactly one button.

[STORE]

That was it. No other tabs. No hidden menus. No secret long-press easter egg. Just one glowing word, sitting there, daring him to have no other option.

”...Fine,” Lin Fan muttered, jabbing it because there was genuinely nothing else to jab. ”Store it is.”

The panel unfurled — ancient, golden, humming with a weight that promised power beyond imagining.

[SYSTEM STORE]

He tapped the first category.

Tea.

His grin held. ”Okay. Sure. Consumables.”

Next category.

Rice.

Still smiling, a little more carefully now.

Vegetables.

Cooking Ingredients.

His finger stopped moving entirely.

A slow, creeping dread crawled up his spine — the exact feeling he got right before a customer asked to ”speak to a manager.”

He searched, with the calm of a man refusing to panic, for weapons.

[Kitchen Equipment]Basic Kitchen Knife — 20 Hospitality PointsBasic Cleaver — 35 Hospitality PointsRolling Pin — 10 Hospitality Points

”...Wrong kind of weapon,” he said, very quietly.

[Please refine search.]

”Weapons,” he tried again, ”used to kill people.”

[No matching hospitality products found.]

”Cultivation techniques.”

[Unavailable.]

”Spirit pills. Bloodlines. Heaven-defying inheritance. Anything heaven-defying.”

[Unavailable. Unavailable. Unavailable.]

Lin Fan’s finger hovered, twitching, over the panel. He was a broken man clutching at straws now.

”...Heaven-opposing table?”

[Search results: 3.]

He lowered his hand very slowly, the way a man lowers a phone after hearing genuinely terrible news.

Something was deeply, catastrophically wrong. He finally, finally looked at the name glowing at the top of the panel — the name he’d been too busy fist-pumping to actually read.

Universal Hospitality System.

Hospitality.

”...System.”

[Yes.]

”What,” Lin Fan said, each word its own separate sentence, ”is your purpose.”

[The Universal Hospitality System assists the Owner in establishing, managing, and expanding a successful hospitality business.]

He waited for more. There was no more.

”A restaurant?”

[Supported.]

”An inn?”

[Supported.]

”A teahouse?”

[Supported.]

A cultivator chose that exact moment to streak overhead on a glowing sword, robes snapping in the wind, radiating exactly the kind of destiny Lin Fan had been counting on.

He flung a finger at the sky. ”HE gets to fly on a sword! And you gave me a rolling pin!”

The System, mercifully or cruelly, did not dignify this with a response.

”Can I cultivate?”

[No relevant function currently available.]

”Can you make me strong?”

[Improving hospitality performance may unlock additional features.]

Lin Fan’s rage paused mid-explosion.

”...Additional features?”

[Correct.]

His eyes narrowed to thoughtful slits. That wasn’t a no.

Years of restaurant management had taught him one universal truth: if a manager won’t say no outright, there’s still room to negotiate them into a corner.

”Fine,” he said slowly. ”Fine. I can work with this.”

A new notification chimed, bright and cheerful, utterly indifferent to his crisis.

[Beginner Hospitality Package available. Claim?]

”Yes,” Lin Fan said immediately, because at this point he’d have said yes to anything with a bow on it.

The ground trembled. Space itself split open beside the road, and golden light poured out in a column bright enough to make him shield his eyes. His heart slammed against his ribs.

Here it comes, he thought. Here comes the ancient palace. The spiritual farm. The hidden Dao inheritance disguised as a teacup.

The light faded.

A small wooden building stood on the roadside.

Four windows. One door. A modest roof. A wooden sign, freshly painted, swinging gently in the breeze.

LIN’S TEAHOUSE

Lin Fan stared at it for a long, long moment.

Then he walked around it once. Then again, just to be sure reality hadn’t glitched.

No palace. No mountain. No inheritance.

A teahouse. A very ordinary, very small teahouse, standing alone on an empty dirt road in the middle of absolutely nowhere.

He stepped inside anyway, because what else was there to do. Four tables. Sixteen chairs. A counter, cups, a kettle, a water source, and a recipe book that looked suspiciously like it belonged in a beginner’s cooking class rather than a legendary artifact vault.

He picked up the kitchen knife, half-convinced it was secretly divine. He swung it once. Nothing happened, except the knife cut air very competently.

He tried to pour Spiritual Qi into it. Then remembered, again, that he had none.

”Right,” he said, setting it down with dignity.

The kettle was plain. The cups were plain. The recipe book’s first page read Beginner Tea Preparation in handwriting that might as well have said good luck, idiot.

A final panel unfurled before him, cheerfully summarizing his entire windfall.

[Beginner Hospitality Package received.]

Contents:

Small Roadside TeahouseBasic Tables and ChairsSystem KettleSystem Water SourceBasic Tea Set100 Portions of Tranquility TeaBasic Cooking UtensilsBeginner Cooking Recipe Book100 Hospitality PointsLin Fan read the list twice, just to make sure he hadn’t missed a hidden line about ancient bloodlines or forbidden techniques.

He had crossed the boundary between worlds. He had watched a man fly on a sword. He had failed spectacularly at sensing even a whisper of Spiritual Qi.

And in return, the heavens had handed him a kettle.

He picked it up anyway. Turned it over in his hands.

”...At least it’s a nice kettle,” he admitted.

Then something inside him snapped.

”A kettle.” His voice cracked upward. ”Every other transmigrator gets a cheat system, a demonic sword, a phoenix bloodline, a harem-attracting jade pendant — and I get a KETTLE?!”

”Fu— this kettle!”

He raised it over his head and hurled it down with the full fury of a man who had just realized his golden finger was, in fact, a teapot.

It bounced off the floor.

Then landed, with tragic precision, directly on his own foot.

”AAAAGH—!”

Lin Fan collapsed sideways into a chair, clutching his foot, hopping in place with the kettle rolling innocently across the floor as if it hadn’t just committed a war crime.

”You—” he hissed at it, pointing with the wounded dignity of a man betrayed by his own cookware. ”You did that on purpose!”

The kettle did not respond. Kettles rarely do.

”Every protagonist in every novel I’ve ever read,” he muttered through gritted teeth, still hopping, ”gets struck by lightning and wakes up OP. I get struck by a car and wake up as a tea vendor with a suicidal kettle. What did I do in my past life? Did I insult a Buddha? Did I steal candy from an orphanage? WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS—”

He kept going for a while. It was, on reflection, a fairly comprehensive list of grievances, covering his manager, the driver who’d hit him, the System, the kettle specifically, and — briefly, passionately — the entire concept of fate.

Eventually the pain in his foot faded into a dull throb, and with it, most of his rage.

Lin Fan sat back down, breathing hard, and stared at the ceiling for a long moment.

”...Okay,” he said, quieter now. ”Okay. Calm down.”

He picked the kettle back up, more gently this time, turning it over in his hands like it hadn’t just tried to end him.

”At least I got something.” He set his jaw. ”No cultivation, no bloodline, no harem pendant — fine. I’ll figure this out. I always figure things out. I once talked a man out of suing a restaurant over cold soup. I can survive a teahouse.”

He set it on the counter with the weary resolve of a man who had once talked a furious customer out of suing over cold soup. ”A business is still a business.”

And unlike cultivation, he actually knew this game. He knew how to serve, how to manage stock, how to cook, how to smile at someone while imagining, in vivid detail, throwing them out a window. That was practically a black belt in customer service.

He checked his tea supply — a hundred portions, enough to open with. Sixteen seats, not bad for a one-man operation. He looked out the door, ready to greet his first customer of a brand new life.

The road stretched out, completely and utterly empty in both directions.

His confidence dipped by roughly half.

A notification blinked into view, infuriatingly chipper.

[Beginner Mission Generated.]Objective: Successfully serve your first paying customer.Requirement: Customer must leave satisfied.Reward: 200 Hospitality Points + Beginner Store Expansion Unlock.

Two hundred points. Now that got his attention.

”How hard can one customer possibly be,” he said, dragging a chair outside and planting himself in it like a king awaiting tribute.

Ten minutes passed. Nothing.

An hour passed. He moved the chair into the shade.

Two hours. He was starting to suspect that whoever had picked this location for a business had never run one single day of their miserable existence.

Then, far down the road, five silhouettes came into view.

Lin Fan sat bolt upright. Customers! Finally! He shot to his feet, straightened his robes, and plastered on the warmest, most professional smile in his considerable arsenal.

The figures drew closer.

His smile held.

Then he noticed the swords strapped to their backs. And the dried blood on one man’s sleeve. And the scars. And the way they walked — loose, unhurried, the walk of men who had never once been told no and hadn’t liked it the one time someone tried.

His smile did not survive the encounter.

A stray fragment of memory finally decided to be useful, arriving about four seconds too late to save him.

Black Wind Bandits. Cultivators. Robbery. Murder. Extortion.

Lin Fan glanced behind himself. Four tables. Sixteen chairs. One kettle. One kitchen knife that couldn’t even cut air with menace.

Zero cultivation.

He looked back at the five men now grinning at the sight of a brand-new, undefended teahouse practically wrapped in a bow for them.

The lead bandit’s smile widened.

Lin Fan looked down at the glowing mission still hovering in the corner of his vision.

[Requirement: Customer must leave satisfied.]

He stared at it for two full seconds.

”System.”

[Yes.]

”Do I get paid leave for this.”

[No.]

Lin Fan closed his eyes.

Of course not.