I Got Isekai’d, Well Shyt!

Burell looked over to his friend Yngvar. ”Looks like we’re getting somewhere!”

Yngvar nodded. ”He’s smart enough to know when to talk. But how are we going to gain their trust?”

”Well if what I read about dwarven culture is true? Then I’m going to have a terrible hangover tomorrow.” King Burell looked back up to Hodur. ”What can I do to gain your trust Hodur the Coldforged?”

”Well, we dwarves only trust those that can hold the liquor! And if you’re half as good with drinking as you are with your words we’ll accept your deal, King Burell!”

The king smiled and clapped his hands together. ”Then I accept your challenge!”

Hodur grinned upon hearing those words and quickly prepared for the challenge. He ordered barrels of ale to be brought down from the brewery. It wasn’t much but it was enough for the challenge with the King.

The Dwarves opened the gate as Hodur and his men brought a table, chairs, and two mugs for their battle arena. Two dwarves were carefully carrying a barrel full of dwarven ale and put it down on the northern side of the table.

After the king’s men cleared the area around the gate, the king dismounted his horse and walked towards the table, where Hodur had his patented grin. Once Burell came within three feet of the table, the king stopped and sat down on the other side.

”Now Hodur the Coldforged, what are the rules to this challenge?”

”If you can out-drink me, we will accept your offer as we can see that you’re a man of honor.”

”Sounds simple enough. And if I win I want to see your mining operation! I’ve never seen such a place!” The King said out loud as he looked at all the dwarves standing behind the table.

Hudor and the rest of his men glared at the King, ”Oy! You’re acting like you’ve already won! If you can’t hold your liquor you’ll die before you reach the bottom of that barrel!” Hodur laughed as his men cheered.

”Well... I have my work cut out for me,” Burell said with a smile as he stared down the cocky dwarf sitting across from him with his golden eyes.

”Hmph!... You are either the bravest human I know or the dumbest!... Well, I have nothing against brave men. Life’s boring otherwise! So let’s start the challenge!” Hodur laughed as he pulled a large knife from his belt. He stabbed the blade into the cask and began filling both mugs.

The crowd of humans and dwarves cheered as the two contestants began their contest.

Yngvar had a concerned look on his face as he watched his king start the challenge.

”Now remember! You must finish the whole mug!” Hodur shouted out.

Burell picked up the first cup and drank all of it.

”Hmm? So this is Dwarven Ale?” Burell asked.

Hodur finished his first mug and then slammed it down on the table with a loud thud. He looked at the King, ”We don’t serve any other kind here!... Worried that you can’t handle it?” He said while filling up the two mugs with more ale.

Burell took his second drink and finished it swiftly. He slammed the mug onto the table just as Hodur did.

”No, I find it tastes like water. I just thought you dwarves like stronger stuff?” Burell said with a smirk while waiting for Hodur to finish his mug.

”You! You dare insult dwarven ale!? You’ll pay for that! I’ll make sure that the whole world knows of your humiliation! You won’t be able to see straight for a month once I’m done with you!” Hodur shouted as he drank the second mug, and filled both mugs back up with more ale.

”Hmm? You really think this stuff will put me down? You need some honor, dwarf!” Burell poked Hodur’s pride.

Hodur slammed the third mug down and waited for Burell to finish his, which the King did with ease. Hodur and the rest of the Dwarves couldn’t believe how unfazed the King looked after the first three mugs.

The Dwarf glared at the King but his vision was beginning to blur a little. ’Why this little!... How the hell can he still see straight!? I need to change things up a bit...’ Hodur thought.

”Hmph, you wouldn’t know what honor is! Even if it hits you in the face, Burell! And since you think you can go toe to toe with us, why don’t we up the stakes!?”

Burell just smiles at Hodur which makes the dwarf even more irritated. ”Well, what did you have in mind, Hodur the Coldforged?

Hodur had enough of this human’s smug face and he was going to make sure that he lost this contest as the Dwarf stood up and grabbed the sides of the table. ”Cocky are we!? Time to put you in your place! Daedric! Get the Cognac!”

After a moment, Daedric returned to the table and pulled out a bottle of the finest cognac. He then poured two shot glasses full of the golden liquid.

”Time to finish what you started! Oh, mighty King! Or should I call you a coward?” said the cocky dwarf as he grabbed the first shot glass and drank it in one go before slamming the empty glass on the table.

”Well... here’s to the Kingdom,” Burell cheers to the dwarf before gulping down his shot glass full of liquor and placing the empty glass softly on the table.

Hodur was starting to get lightheaded and felt like he could barely stay standing. He shook his head to regain his focus.

”Hmph! Is that all you’ve got?” Hodur said as he filled up both the shot glasses with Cognac.

The dwarfs behind him were shouting their encouragement. They were getting a show they would never forget but they were starting to worry about Hodur’s condition. He was putting on a brave face, but the human was clearly winning.

A smile came across Burell’s face as he downed the next shot and placed the empty glass on the table.

”You know I’m going to beat you, right?... Oh, and it’s your turn,” Burell said smiling while watching the dwarf struggle to stay standing.

Hodur looked up at him with a dazed look on his face.

”I-I’m g-oing to teach yo-u a lesson in humility, you b-bastard!”

He slammed the last of his shot glass down and poured himself another.

”Oh yeah, and how are you going to do that?” Burell said as he watched the dwarf pour his third shot for their sixth round.

Hodur wanted to retort but he tried holding back a belch that wasn’t going to be pleasant. ”D-Don’t get cocky! This is-s dwarven cognac, the best there is!” He shouted.

Burell took his third shot with ease. But now the King had three shots of liquor in him, which is an equal amount of alcohol to eight regular-sized mugs of dwarven ale. The King looked unfazed by all the alcohol but it was finally catching up to him as his cheeks were getting rosy. He made sure that his golden eyes remained focused on Hodur, who was struggling to keep himself standing.

”You call me cocky, but it’s just confidence. You’re the one who’s cocky. You think that you can win this battle when you’ve already lost?”

”W-We’ll see about that, Burell. Now s-shut up and take your fourth shot, and then you can take a piss outta my ass.”

”I will once you finish your third shot. But, since I’m such a kind person, I’ll help you finish it.”

The King leaned over and grabbed Hodur’s shot glass before drinking it in front of him. This made Hodur very angry and he slammed his hands down on the table and grabbed the bottle of Cognac. He filled the two shot glasses and pounded down one after the other. The dwarven ale had already affected him, and now he had drunk the equivalent of fifteen mugs of dwarven ale.

The two men were now both drunk, but Hodur was clearly much worse off.

”Blah! A-Are yooou p-part ee-elf-f? H-Howw aree you not-tt drunk?” Hodur slurred his speech as the liquor was taking its toll.

Burell laughed and downed his fifth shot before staring down the dwarf who still couldn’t believe that this human continued to drink. But Hodur had to maintain his dignity as the leader of Ironside even though his men were starting to murmur about how the King was destroying Hodur’s pride which infuriated him.

So, Hodur smiled and clumsily took the shot glass full of Cognac and drank it down with a grin. He was determined to beat the human. But when he tried to stare down the King, he noticed that he was starting to look up at the blue sky. Which was odd, because he swore he was staring straight at him moments ago. That is when the dwarf felt the entire back of his body smashing into the ground. He looked up at the sky and saw the blurry faces of his fellow dwarves.

’H-How did Daedric g-get so tall?’ Hodur thought before he passed out.

”H-He’s out cold...” Daedric muttered to himself. He’d never seen anyone drink this much in one sitting and it made him gain a new respect for his friend.

Burell, still sitting at the table, looked up at the crowd of Dwarves.

”Is he alright?” Burell asked one of the other dwarves.

Daedric was surprised that the King was worried about Hodur. He thought it was strange for a human to show concern for a dwarf. It made him start to have faith that this man could be trusted. King Burell had to do only one more shot to win the contest and they would become citizens of Fiafyr.

”Don’t worry about him! Just hurry up and finish your last one!” Daedric said.

Burell finished the shot and slammed it on the table. ”Well, Hodur. I welcome you and your people as part of the Fiafyr Kingdom!” He finished the glass and poured himself another.

All the other dwarves were standing there in silence before they erupted into a deafening cheer. While Yngvar and the other humans looked like they were trying to pop their ears.

Hodur lay there on the floor looking up at the sky, feeling dizzy from the alcohol. He was trying to get his bearings after the cheers woke him from his sleep. ’What the hell happened? And where am I? Why are the clouds moving so fast?’ Hodur thought before closing his eyes again and passing out.

”Well, Hodur... if you’re done resting I think we’ve got a job to do-Whoa!” Burell tried to stand up from the chair only to fall back into it. ”Yngvar... I think I’m too drunk to... stand. Can you lend me your aid?”

”Sure, I’ll help you up.” Yngvar grabbed Burell’s hand and helped him.

”Thank you,” Burell said. ”But what about our friend? How’s he doing?”

Yngvar turned around and saw that Hodur was passed out on the ground.

”I think he’s had enough. Hey you, what’s your name?” Yngvar was staring at Daedric who was trying to wake up Hodur.

”Me? I-I’m Daedric,” the dwarf answered. He was not sure what the proper etiquette was when addressing a Human King.

”Daedric, we will need a place for half our troops to stay. We’ll have the other half set up camp outside the city walls. And I would like a place for the King to stay also.” Yngvar said while helping the King to his feet.

”Yes. I will find you a place to rest your men here in the city. But first, there is a room in the palace where you can let your king rest.”

Yngvar nods and starts walking with the dwarves through the entrance of the city.

”You know he’s now your King, Daedric. Don’t forget that... And please lead the way,” Yngvar said as he and another knight helped carry their king inside the walls of Ironside.

”O-Of course... But I’m just a simple blacksmith, sir. I know nothing in the ways of nobility and politics.”

Yngvar looked at the nervous dwarf and shook his head, ”You’re more than just a simple blacksmith. You were the one who stood beside your friend while he challenged the King, and now you’re helping him and the rest of our people. You’re a natural leader to help your lord.”

Daedric felt embarrassed by the compliment.

”I-I’m nothing special.”

”I beg to differ, but that’s something that only you can decide. So lead the way,” Yngvar said as he and a few knights began to help the king walk.

Two of the other Knights went back to the Colonel to tell him the news about the Dwarves becoming citizens of the Kingdom.

***

The next day Burell and Hodur were in the dining hall of the dwarven palace recovering from their hangovers.

”So Hodur. I need to admit I lied about something yesterday.” Burell spoke to Hodur as he had his head on the table.

”Uh. What did you lie about King Burell?”

”Well, I told you that Dwarven Ale tasted like water? That was a lie. That ale is the strongest stuff I have ever drank in my life,” Burell admitted.

This got Hodur to act triumphantly as he moved his head up off the table to say, ”HA! I told you that our ale is... OW! By the forge!”

The Dwarf got a little too excited as the quick movement caused his head to start pounding in pain.

”Please Hodur. No loud or sudden movements. I don’t think my head can take it. It doesn’t feel good at all right now,” Burell muttered while holding his head.

”Sorry, sorry... So what did you want to tell me then?”

”I’m planning on making you the Baron of Ironside.”

Hodur sat up straight in shock. ”What?! You can’t do that.”

”Why not? I’m the King? And you know this land better than we do.” Burell said with a smile.

While they sat there the door to the dining room opened up as Yngvar, Daedric, and a few other people came up to the King.

”Your Majesty. Our alchemist has something to report.” Yngvar said.

Burell looked over at Yngvar. ”Well tell us what you found out.”

”Alchemist Tormin has discovered a pile of slag lying around the city by the forges.”

”Slag? What kind of slag?” Burell asked.

”Purple slag. Your Majesty.” Yngvar answered.

Hodur didn’t know why these humans were so excited about trash that they couldn’t get rid of it, even if they tried and paid someone.

”Why in the Forge do you humans care about that useless trash?” Hodur asked with a confused look on his face.

Burell smiled at Hodur and said, ”Well, it seems that the Dwarves don’t know how useful purple slag is. Tormin, can you explain to our friend here what makes the slag so special?”

The Alchemist nodded and said, ”Well, we found that we can make the slag into a fertilizer that can quadruple the yield of plants that are grown in it. That means more food for the people of the kingdom. And it helps crops grow in less-than-ideal weather as well. This slag is very valuable. Maybe more valuable than gold?”

Hodur looks shocked and says, ”But how does that make it worth gold? It’s just dirt.”

”It’s because the Purple Slag is rare. Usually, we can only get Purple Iron in a Labyrinth so not too many people know about it. But since Purple Iron is scarce and the slag that comes from the smelting is so precious that we barely have enough for a half acre. That small pile outside the forges is more than I’ve ever seen before!” The Alchemist explained.

”Huh? That small pile of slag is the most you’ve ever seen?” Hodur asked with one eyebrow lifted.

”W-Wait! Are you saying that you have more, Lord Hodur?” Tormin asked with a confused look on his face.

Hodur got up from his chair and started walking over to the window of the dining hall. Everyone followed him to the window that was pointing north.

”You see the hills past the city walls?” Hodur pointed out the window.

Tormin followed where the dwarf was pointing and saw a field of green grass that went down to a small river running through the ground and past them were some huge hills with a slight purplish hue to them.

”That’s where we dumped all the slag after all the smelting. We couldn’t get rid of the stuff fast enough. All we could do was throw it out of the city, making hills of the stuff.”

The Alchemist dropped his book as he froze with shock. He thought it was impossible to get five pounds of the slag but seeing hills of the stuff short-circuited his mind.

”Hmm? What’s wrong with him?” Hodur asked the group.

”Oh, Tormin? He’s just overwhelmed with joy at the moment. Just give him some time and he’ll be alright. Anyway, it looks like we have some fertilizer we need to go and collect. Let’s get going.” King Burell said with a big grin.

***

Ironside became one of the most important cities in the whole kingdom. It was the first city to have Humans and Dwarves living in harmony as the population exploded across the Kingdom, thanks to the purple slag. Ironside also helped improve the weapons and armor of the Kingdom thanks to the mixing of dwarven and human engineering. This period of time was what helped the Kingdom of Fiafyr become the strongest kingdom in the entire continent of Agon.

***

Quinus was telling Rya the history of Ironside as they could see the city in the distance.

”So, your Great Great Great Great Great Great Grandfather got the Dwarves to accept him as their King without any bloodshed? I guess being accepting runs in the family. Ha ha!” Rya chuckled.

”Yeah during that time King Burell used his skilled tongue to win over many other cities to join the Fiafyr Kingdom... A-And I think he also used his tongue to win the hearts of many ladies? He was a formidable man,” Quinus said jokingly.

When Rya heard this joke she had a flashback to when Quin used his tongue on her womanhood, after they survived the Cave Troll in the labyrinth. She couldn’t help but blush and looked away with embarrassment.

’C-Control yourself, Ryan! I mean it felt nice. But you can’t do that, you’re a man!’ Rya told herself as she felt a tingling sensation in her loins.

The group was enjoying themselves as the carriage kept moving towards the city of Ironside, which was miles in the distance.