I Am Your Natural Enemy

Chapter 6 - 6 Delicious But Not

Another day of slacking off, Wen Yan felt pretty good—he’d barely worked a few days, and most of the time was just spent goofing around.

After work, Wen Yan had just walked to the front yard when he saw the director coming down from the office building.

”Come on, an old friend of mine has been transferred to the neighboring Duanzhou. We might have business to deal with in the future, so let’s go welcome him.”

”Director...” Wen Yan actually wanted to find an excuse not to go.

”Let’s go together. The food at this place is good for restoring Yang energy and expelling evil—will help you recover. Did you sweat these past few days when soaking up the sun?”

Wen Yan had nothing to say. For the past three days, he’d had nothing to do—basically a slacker—spending time either hanging out to get familiar with his coworkers or just sitting in the yard basking in the sun.

While sunbathing, he did feel warm and comfortable, but not hot at all.

And it’s August right now, so obviously that’s not normal.

The director drove an old manual car, and before getting in, he walked around it three times, patting the trunk each time as he circled.

On the road, he drove no faster than forty to sixty the whole way.

”Xiao Wen, you seem to be picking things up pretty fast after a few days, and you don’t look like you’re quitting any time soon, so let me tell you a bit more.

Right now, you’re the only one in our unit who can enter the Old Ice Warehouse. If there’s a need in the future, you’ll be the only one who can go in.

But that place—you might not even set foot in it once every year or two.

Once you’re more familiar, you can choose whichever department you want.

If you don’t want to stay at the office all day, you can go out as a field agent with us.”

”Whatever you arrange, Director.” Wen Yan obviously didn’t take that entirely at face value—he’d only just started, still barely familiar with the place.

”Right, just be careful these days. We’ve pretty much got things figured out here. That guy earlier snuck in over a gap a year ago. He’s been hiding in the old office building for more than a year now.

But how exactly he got in, we still don’t know.

In the backseat, there’s your work uniform. It’s just finished. You can wear it usually—consider it an employee perk.”

Wen Yan thanked him, but didn’t want to open it right away. Judging by the style, it looked pretty much the same as the other coworkers’ uniforms.

They drove from a remote suburb all the way into the city, finally stopping at a small private restaurant by the road.

Wen Yan looked up at the sign. It was fuzzy, but he could see a faint shimmering light glimmering on the signboard. Looking at the light strip, it merged with the glow and formed the shape of a talisman.

”Come on, my old friend is already here. Eat as much as you want. We’re all familiar faces here—no need to be polite. Nobody’s forcing drinks either. Times have changed, just relax.”

The director gave Wen Yan a comforting pat and stepped inside the restaurant, grinning.

Wen Yan took a couple of steps forward and suddenly felt a chill crawl up his back. That familiar shiver was exactly the same as when the mummy’s apparition had passed through him a few days ago.

He looked back. The street behind was sparse, some cars passing in fits and starts, and there wasn’t a single person on the sidewalk across from him.

Scanning around, Wen Yan’s gaze landed on the bus stop ad across the street. He stared at the person in the ad, and suddenly saw the portrait curve into a smile. The grin grew ever wider, stretching all the way to the ears, cheeks ripping at the edges.

The next moment, he blinked, and everything snapped back to normal.

Wen Yan was silent for a second, then quickly caught up to the director in front.

”Director...”

He lowered his voice and quickly told the director what he had just seen.

”Director, was that a hallucination?”

The director’s expression turned serious. He walked up to the door, looked at the billboard across the street, then took out his phone and made a call.

”Yeah, right here, North of Virtue City, across from the old restaurant, at the bus stop.”

After hanging up, the director patted Wen Yan’s shoulder approvingly.

”That was great. Next time, report it right away—don’t just assume it’s a hallucination.

Usually, when you run into something like this, if you just shrug it off as your imagination, it never ends well.

Remember, in this line of work, there are no hallucinations.

If you can destroy it, then it isn’t a hallucination.

Come on, let’s go eat. Your Yang energy’s a little weak lately. You really need to nourish yourself.”

He followed the director up to a private room on the second floor, where a middle-aged man was already waiting.

The two middle-aged men exchanged a round of overly formal small talk before the director introduced Wen Yan.

”This is our new guy, Xiao Wen—Wen Yan.”

Then he turned to introduce the other man to Wen Yan.

”This is Old Cai, Cai Qidong. He’s just been transferred to work in our commandery—now the new minister of the Scorching Sun Department here.

Normally, we work with the Scorching Sun Department to help wrap up some cases.”

After some pleasantries, just as the food started coming out, there was a dull bang outside—with a burst of fire following right after.

The three of them shot to their feet and rushed to the window.

A small car had crashed into the bus stop billboard across the street, and was already engulfed in flames.

Wen Yan stared at the director in shock—his mind spinning. Holy crap, do they deal with emergencies that quickly? Or do they always use such brute force?

But the director’s face was grim. He quickly told Cai Qidong the details of what had happened earlier.

”Looking for trouble.”

Cai Qidong sneered, then leapt from the second floor. With just a few strides, he reached the burning car, smashed the driver’s side window with a punch, and single-handedly yanked the dazed or dead driver out.

A few minutes later, a fire truck arrived, put out the roaring blaze, and an ambulance took the driver away.

Cai Qidong came back to the restaurant.

”Looks like it was just an accident. Someone will handle the follow-up. We don’t need to worry about it.”

”Ha...” The director laughed. ”Yeah, yeah, yeah, let’s get back to eating. If we don’t eat, the food’s getting cold.”

Wen Yan kind of wanted to ask, but even he wasn’t clueless—clearly, this wasn’t just some random department handling things.

He felt uneasy—like he’d boarded a pirate ship. He thought of that mummy apparition from a few days ago.

The director said that guy showed up to retrieve his own corpse from the Old Ice Warehouse, and now only Wen Yan—the new guy—could get in there.

Connecting the dots with what the director had said—that nobody knew exactly how that guy slipped in—plus today’s ad nightmare—

Wen Yan couldn’t help wondering if there were other things out there trying to get something out of the Old Ice Warehouse?

Or maybe some other thing had already found out that he could get inside?

With all those thoughts in his head, he barely noticed how delicious the food was—though after eating, he did start to sweat a little, and felt a cozy warmth in his gut.

After dinner, the director gave him a ride home.

Back home, he opened the plastic bag and took out the new uniform: a black vest, a black jacket. Touching it, a familiar sensation came to him.

He turned the vest inside out and shined a flashlight at the lining. There, faintly, he could see old large bills sewn inside.

Wen Yan thought for a second and put that ugly-ass vest on right away.

The director wasn’t lying—this really was a perk.

Wearing the uniform gave him a measure of security. After all, he’d personally witnessed the director’s suit jacket doing mystical stuff before.

A few hours later, Wen Yan logged off his game, shut down his computer, and was getting ready for bed when he noticed the goldfish in his tank blowing bubbles at the surface.

He sprinkled in some food, and was just about to set the fish food aside when he heard—

”That’s it? I’ve been starving all day!”

Wen Yan paused and looked at the tank. The goldfish was swimming near the surface, blowing bubbles.

”What are you looking at? I’m still not full.”

The goldfish grumbled again—so Wen Yan suddenly grabbed the little fish net, scooped it up, dumped it on the floor, and stomped it flat.

He was the kind of guy who listened to advice, always keeping the director’s teaching in mind: whenever you think you’re hallucinating, you’d better not treat it as just a hallucination. If it can be killed, then it sure as hell isn’t a hallucination.

Looking at the squashed goldfish, now motionless and silent, Wen Yan breathed a little easier.

That’s when his phone rang—the director calling.

”Hello, Director.”

”Xiao Wen, are you okay? Any hallucinations? You’d better get to the hospital. That mushroom we ate at lunch wasn’t cooked all the way—it’s poisonous.”

”Huh?”

”Huh what—I mean, nobody expected that a chef who’s cooked mushrooms for thirty years would screw it up. He’s still insisting it couldn’t be his fault—says he’s done it this way his whole life. Must be we ate something else to get poisoned.”

After hanging up, Wen Yan was a bit dazed. He glanced down at the flattened goldfish on the ground—to his surprise, the thing was stubbornly lifting half its head, sneering with its crooked mouth.

”Bro, how’d you like those mushrooms?”