Hogwarts: I Am Such a Model Wizard

Chapter 276: Writing a Book for Snape

Snape’s erratic behavior continued into the following day, showing no signs of abating. The strange incident quickly overshadowed even the upcoming Quidditch tryouts, becoming the primary topic of conversation throughout the school. Everyone was speculating about the reason behind Snape’s sudden point-deducting frenzy.

“It’s penalty point addiction syndrome!” declared a second-year Ravenclaw witch confidently. “My uncle works at St. Mungo’s, and he told me about a professor there who had the same condition. This professor actually felt pleasure from deducting points. Even after he was admitted to St. Mungo’s, he continued the habit, docking points from anyone he met. Most people say ‘hello’ when they see someone, but he starts with ‘five points off!’”

Intrigued by her conviction, a large crowd gathered, listening more intently than they usually did in Professor McGonagall’s Transfiguration class. The little witch, encouraged by the audience’s interest, went on with even greater enthusiasm.

“My uncle told me he only took care of that professor for two days, but he lost three hundred points during that time—more than most students lose in seven years at Hogwarts!”

The crowd gasped. “Three hundred points!”

“Was that professor from Hogwarts, too?” someone asked.

“Of course! A proper Hogwarts Defense Against the Dark Arts professor... he’s been living at St. Mungo’s for six years now.”

“Six years… just for deducting points…” a young witch murmured, covering her mouth in astonishment. “So you think Professor Snape…”

“Exactly,” the Ravenclaw witch replied in a hushed voice. “Docking points from Slytherin is a clear sign. It’s as if the other three houses aren’t enough for him anymore. Poor Professor Snape… at this rate, he’ll probably leave Hogwarts within the next four years.”

“But I plan to become a Healer at St. Mungo’s after I graduate,” said another young Ravenclaw, his eyes filled with resolve. “I think I could look after him when the time comes.”

His earnestness earned approving nods from those around him, and he seemed genuinely fulfilled by this new sense of mission. But his satisfaction only lasted until the end of breakfast, because their first class of the day was Potions.

And Snape, somehow aware of what had been said about him, deducted fifty points from Ravenclaw before morning was over.

That wasn’t the worst of it. He also found a reason to give the young Ravenclaw a three-day detention, forcing him to work with third-year students to sort the rotting potion ingredients in the vat. One glance into the vat was enough to drain all color from the poor Ravenclaw’s face, his stomach twisting in horror.

By the time the class ended at noon, he looked completely transformed: vacant-eyed, pale as a ghost, and visibly shaken. He stumbled out of the Potions classroom and, in his daze, managed to knock over a suit of armor in the corridor.

It’s worth noting that Ravenclaw was paired with Slytherin in Potions that day, yet Snape didn’t deduct any points from his own house—in fact, he even awarded them a few. Yes, there was a certain familiarity to it… as if overnight, Snape had reverted back to his usual self.

By lunchtime, with Ravenclaw’s “lesson” fresh in everyone’s minds, the Great Hall was noticeably quieter.

...

This was rather disappointing for Kyle. He had been quite entertained by the young wizards’ speculations about Snape’s odd behavior.

In addition to “deduction for kicks,” there were theories that Snape had been hit by a rampaging Tebo, drank fake potion, or even drank an experimental potion with unpredictable effects… In short, the theories were endless. Since yesterday afternoon, Kyle had been tirelessly making rounds to every table, diligently jotting down every snippet related to Snape.

He originally planned to fill ten sheets of parchment with his notes and then approach Lockhart to help him publish a book. He even had a title in mind: To All Potions Professors: A Survival Guide to Hogwarts. Kyle also intended to pay Lockhart a bonus to work overtime, hoping the book could be finished before Christmas. He planned to give it to Snape as a thoughtful holiday gift. He’ll be thrilled, he thought with a grin.

Unfortunately, with everyone too intimidated to discuss Snape further, Kyle had only filled three parchments—not nearly enough material to publish a book.

“What class is next this afternoon?” Kyle asked Kanna with a sigh.

“Defense Against the Dark Arts,” Kanna replied, glancing at the timetable. “But you also have Divination and Muggle Studies.”

“I’ll skip those two,” Kyle said, shaking his head. Divination with Professor Trelawney was little more than an exercise in creative thinking. Muggle Studies was equally unchallenging; after flipping through the textbook, Kyle realized it was all very basic knowledge. Even Mikel, who usually struggled with his classes, could easily achieve an “O” in that one. For any Muggle-born student wanting to pad their report card, Muggle Studies was a sure bet.

After dinner, Kyle and Kanna left the Great Hall and headed toward the Hufflepuff common room. On their way, they spotted a small, thin boy with gray hair standing at the entrance to the Great Hall, clutching a camera as if waiting for someone.

“Is that him?” Kyle asked in a low voice, quickening his pace. “The one who asked Potter for an autograph yesterday?”

Kanna nodded silently.

“Harry Potter’s autograph photo” had become another hot topic, sparked by this very boy. The previous day, right in front of half the Great Hall, he had approached Harry and asked for an autograph, only to be interrupted by Malfoy’s heckling and Lockhart’s grandstanding. The whole scene had left Harry visibly deflated, and since then, he couldn’t go anywhere without someone pestering him for a signature. It was enough to wear anyone down.

Then again, it was hard to imagine anyone being thrilled to have such an eager admirer following them constantly. Well… except for Lockhart. He’d probably be delighted. Actually, he’d likely be the only one.

Lost in thought, Kyle unconsciously picked up his pace.

When they arrived at the common room, they ran into a group of fourth-year Hufflepuffs coming in from the opposite direction. Leading the group was Cedric Diggory, looking a bit worse for wear—his robes were caked in mud and torn in several places. The others in the group looked equally bedraggled.

“What happened to you?” Kyle asked. “Did you get into a fight?”

“I wish it had just been a fight,” Cedric grumbled, attempting to repair his robes with some hasty stitching charms. “We were having a perfectly normal Herbology class, and just as we were finishing up, Gilderoy Lockhart showed up out of nowhere.”

“What was he doing in the greenhouse?” Kanna asked, curious.

“He claimed he was there to show Professor Sprout how to trim excess shoots from the Venomous Tentacula,” Cedric replied, visibly annoyed. “But as soon as he stepped inside, he managed to knock over a table and sent a dozen Bouncing Bulbs flying.”

“And then he ran off!” another student added angrily. “Can you believe it? He just bolted!”

“That’s the whole story,” Cedric sighed, shrugging. “Professor Sprout and the rest of us have been trying to round up those blasted Bouncing Bulbs ever since.”

“Thanks for your hard work,” Kyle said, offering a sympathetic smile.

He knew that many of the plants in the greenhouse were delicate and highly sensitive to disturbances. Magic was typically restricted in there to avoid upsetting their fragile ecosystem, which meant Cedric and the others had likely spent hours painstakingly catching the Bouncing Bulbs by hand. Their disheveled state was proof enough of their efforts.