Hogwarts: I Am Such a Model Wizard

Chapter 64: The Freely Floating Bottom Line

It was evening in an empty classroom at Hogwarts. The flickering light of an oil lamp cast the shadows of the three figures present obliquely onto the wall.

”Iʼm glad you came to us, Kyle, but we canʼt do this,” Fred said, lowering his head and hiding his face from the light.

”Weʼve known each other for years, but this is the first time youʼve asked for our help since you got to Hogwarts,” he continued. ”I canʼt even remember the last time we had dinner together.”

”Last Wednesday,” Kyle, sitting across from him, paused briefly to think. ”You tried to sell my homework to the Gryffindor first years.”

”My friend, you were very firm in your refusal,” George chimed in indifferently. ”You have no idea how heartbroken we were when we had to walk away.”

”I just didn’t need detention from Professor McGonagall,” Kyle replied. ”Selling homework in bulk? You two will come up with anything. Do you really think Professor McGonagall wouldn’t notice something like that? She’s not Ron, you know.”

”Ahem... well, maybe youʼre right,” Fred said, looking up at Kyle. ”But why aren’t you worried about getting caught by McGonagall today? It’s not that difficult—you could’ve done this yourself, or asked someone in Hufflepuff for help, right?”

”We’re being watched closely by Snape,” Kyle explained.

”Oh, I see. So youʼre coming to us for the dirty work,” George sighed. ”You’ve found your place in Hufflepuff. You like it there, the professors and students like you. Honestly, you probably don’t even need us anymore, and you’ve never even called us ‘seniors!’”

”Enough with the dramatics. Are you in or out?” Kyle’s patience was running thin. ”Mr. Weasley, I’m going to count to three. If you don’t answer, I’ll go find someone else.”

”One!”

...

”George, look, heʼs even threatening us.”

”Yeah, Fred, we’re so scared.”

”Two!”

...

”I think you can count faster.”

Kyle didn’t bother responding. Instead, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a golden card, waving it in front of Fred and George’s faces.

”...three.”

”We’ll do it!” Fred and George exclaimed simultaneously, suddenly appearing on either side of Kyle, grinning broadly.

”Kyle, that card you were holding... was that Agrippa?” Fred asked eagerly.

”Mm-hm,” Kyle nodded.

Fred leaned in, his voice full of anticipation. ”Can I see it again? Just for a second?”

Kyle, smirking, pulled out the rare card once more and waved it in front of them. Their eyes widened with awe, following the card’s every movement as Kyle swung it back and forth.

After about ten seconds of teasing them, Kyle tucked the card away. ”See this Agrippa? After we finish the job—”

”You’re going to give it to us?” George interrupted, eyes wide with excitement.

”You wish,” Kyle said flatly. ”I’ll lend it to you for ten minutes after the job’s done.”

”Ten days!” Fred countered, frowning.

”Nine minutes,” Kyle shot back.

”No way! A week at the very least,” George jumped in.

”Five minutes.”

”One day, that’s our final offer!” the twins said in unison.

”Deal.”

Kyle extended his hand, and the three of them high-fived.

The agreement was sealed, and now it was time to iron out the details.

”Actually, we werenʼt planning on saying no,” Fred said with a grin, patting Kyle on the shoulder. ”Weʼre always happy to do anything to make Slytherinʼs life difficult.”

”But youʼll have to provide the props,” George added. ”That thing needs to be custom-made, and itʼs very expensive. We canʼt afford it.”

”Of course. Iʼve already got it ready.” Kyle pulled out a stack of gold Galleons and placed them on the table. ”There should be enough for the two items. Itʼs twenty Galleons in total.”

”More than enough,” Fred said, picking up the Galleons and rubbing them in his hands. He had never seen so much money before. Though he knew Kyle had made a fortune from selling the map a while back, seeing all these Galleons stacked together was a whole different experience. Selling maps makes that kind of money?

”Kyle, we...” George glanced at the pile of gold in front of him, seeming like he wanted to say something more.

Kyle looked at him, puzzled.

”Never mind, weʼll talk about it later,” George said after a momentʼs thought, shaking his head. ”If itʼs twenty Galleons, Zonkos will definitely be able to deliver what you want on time.”

Kyle didnʼt seem too concerned, and after discussing a few more specific details with them, he prepared to leave.

”I canʼt wait,” Fred said excitedly. ”Slytherin really messed up this time by messing with you.”

Kyle glanced at him and reminded, ”Donʼt say anything. What do I have to do with it? I donʼt know anything.”

”Ha, cunning Chopper.”

”Heh, stupid Weasley.”

...

After parting ways with Fred and George, Kyle didnʼt head back to the Hufflepuff Common Room right away. Instead, he wandered aimlessly along the third-floor corridors of the castle. He needed to find a particular ghost—the Fat Friar had mentioned someone who liked to linger near the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom.

But after ten minutes of wandering, Kyle hadnʼt found anyone.

Just as he was about to head back and try again in the morning, a balloon filled with liquid suddenly flew toward the back of his head. Kyle tilted his head slightly, narrowly avoiding it. The balloon hit the ground with a splat, releasing an unpleasant smell.

”Ho ho ho, pesky first-year brats, wandering around at night instead of sleeping. Tsk tsk tsk, naughty, youʼll get caught,” came a voice.

A small figure appeared in midair—a Dwarf with evil black eyes and a wide grin, his legs crossed as he floated. In his hands, he clutched two more balloons.

”Should I tell Filch, you big idiot and brat? That was so much fun.”

Kyle stood still, watching him with interest. ”Are you Peeves?”

For a moment, doubt flashed in Peevesʼ small black eyes, but it quickly turned into anger. The little brat didn’t even run away! Clearly, he’s looking down on me. How dare he!

”Yes, I am the great Peeves!” Peeves hurled the two remaining balloons at Kyle. ”Iʼll tell Filch about your nighttime wanderings, and heʼll lock you up!” he said with exaggerated seriousness. ”Iʼm going to tell him, for your own good, okay?”

Kyle flicked his wand, easily deflecting the balloons aside. Unfazed, he replied, ”I agree with you, but itʼs still five minutes before curfew, so itʼs not technically a nighttime stroll. Besides, I came here specifically to see you.”

”Come to see me on purpose?” Peeves was taken aback. It was rare for any student to willingly seek him out.

”Yes,” Kyle said, lowering his voice as he looked around. ”I have an idea. Iʼm not sure if youʼre interested in getting involved...”