Gun of Ashes

”Oscar is a somewhat familiar guy; the first time we communicated was by the flower bed on campus, and he sat down next to me and complimented me with a sleazy grin.”

”Complimented you on what?” Left Garrison didn’t understand.

Seeing this, Lorenzo couldn’t help but smile and said slowly.

”You should’ve seen it, Left Garrison, how a young, delicate body walks past you in high heels, wearing a pure white dress that flutters in the wind, revealing sculpturally exquisite ankles, carrying a floral fragrance.”

As Lorenzo described the scene, Left Garrison sketched it in his mind, momentarily at a loss for words.

Lorenzo laughed even louder, shaking his head with helplessness.

”Oscar said that this is his place for an energy boost. Seeing these young, beautiful kids, even the oldest heart would feel a jolt, filling with hope for the future. Actually, he just has an excess of male hormones; I’ve always suggested he see a doctor.”

”I didn’t expect you to be like this. Is it reasonable to say so?”

Left Garrison’s expression was somewhat strange.

”No, I’m nothing like him,” Lorenzo guessed what Left Garrison was thinking and promptly denied it, ”I think differently from Oscar. He sees the beautiful young bodies like an impatient old pervert, but I am not the same.”

”Then what did you see? Holmo?”

The smile on Lorenzo’s face faded; he wanted to speak several times but held back, finally squeezing out a few words slowly.

”I watch men and women leave the classroom, linger in the garden, discussing poetry and literature, talking about ideals and love. Some scatter, some gather, holding or letting go of hands...

Some girls smile at me, and just as I respond, I suddenly realize my past. At that moment, I realize how out of place I am with everything here.”

His voice sounding somewhat desolate, Lorenzo continued.

”I think they also treat me as one of the students, but they would never think that what stands before them is a well-disguised monster. I watch them leave with beauty...

This feeling is very familiar, like that irretrievable afternoon.

You know, Left Garrison, in that instant, I thought of many things.

My newly begun life is just an illusion. I can’t truly integrate here. All I experienced in Old Dunling was nothing but falsehoods. I tried so hard, yet at that moment, I realized what I had truly missed. These things don’t belong to me and never will.

I seem like I’m from another world, just like you said, a demon crawling out of hell. My ultimate destination is hell, not this beautiful present world.”

Lorenzo’s expression was a bit frightened, like a child awakening from a nightmare.

”What have I missed out on...”

Left Garrison didn’t say anything, but his gaze on Lorenzo changed slightly, as if the ice was beginning to thaw.

”I long for that feeling, the sunny afternoon, the gentle breeze in the garden... Later on, it seems I found that feeling again,” Lorenzo said, ”I’ve already missed so much, so I want to try, to seize any opportunity, not missing any chance.”

”After that, I had my own firm. They would come to me when they had nothing to do. Although these guys were annoying, when the house got lively, I seemed to find a bit of that feeling again.

But this doesn’t last long, Left Garrison.”

Lorenzo recounted.

”So, what are you going to do, Holmo?” Left Garrison asked, ”To continue this, what will you do?”

”My actions, you’ve seen them, haven’t you?”

Lorenzo responded, his demeanor turning cold again, from a frightened child back to that bloodthirsty Demon.

”I can’t lose my friends again. I don’t dare make new friends anymore. I can’t lose this city, lose that beautiful garden, for then I won’t even have a place to reminisce about that feeling. I can’t let them destroy all of this, because I’m a damn Demon Hunter! I made an oath!”

He was furious.

”This damn identity, damn duty, damn Secret Blood.

I’ve already lost too much and missed too much. These are all I have left, and they still want to take more.”

With Lorenzo’s angry words, Left Garrison saw a flickering light in his pupils. As Ascension deepened, Lorenzo was sliding toward the edge of the Abyss, manifesting more extraordinary features.

”I will kill them all, shoot with guns, slash with swords, smash with fists, bite with teeth... In any case, I will kill them, leaving not even one.”

Eradicate the Demons.

”Do you regret it?”

Left Garrison asked calmly. Initially, he was very wary of Lorenzo, but now, seeing Lorenzo in a rage, Left Garrison wasn’t as fearful, as if a few idle chats had reassured them both considerably.

”Regret what?”

”Becoming a Demon Hunter, you could say, all your tragedies stem from the Secret Blood. You implanted this sinful blood and embarked on an irreversible path. If given a chance to choose again, would you take this path?”

Facing this question, Lorenzo was stunned, his furious expression calming down. He touched his chest, seemingly wanting to draw out a cigarette, but his clothes had been changed by the nurses, and he could only feel the dry bandages.

Left Garrison wasn’t in a hurry for Lorenzo to answer. He let Lorenzo think it over.

”You seem to have never thought about this question. Without the Secret Blood, you might be living a completely different life now.”

Lorenzo didn’t respond to Left Garrison. His gaze was vacant as he struggled to think.

”No... perhaps.” He replied, uncertainly.

”You don’t regret it?”

Lorenzo took a deep breath and then affirmed, ”Hmm, I’ve already walked this path; there’s no need to regret it.”

”Why?”

Past experiences flashed before his eyes—countless familiar faces, ending with a final golden light.

”Left Garrison, there’s one thing you need to know: without this damned blood, none of this would have started, right? Like a terrible story; if you don’t put the pen to paper, none of this would happen.”

Lorenzo seemed somewhat relieved, realizing that it was an inevitable matter.

”I wouldn’t have come to Old Dunling, wouldn’t have met these new friends, wouldn’t have had these experiences. Although there’d be no sadness, there’d be no joy either... Not to mention conversing with you so much here now.

Though it is cruel, there’s always something beautiful. If you asked me to choose another path, I’d undoubtedly be giving all of this up.”

Lorenzo stared straight at Left Garrison. The flickering light in his eyes settled into the darkness under the shadows.

”Do you think I would give up all of this, deny myself?”

Left Garrison said nothing more. He stood up, seeming ready to leave.

”Are you leaving?” Lorenzo asked.

”Hmm.”

”Not going to continue asking about that life thing anymore?”

Lorenzo asked again. Thinking it over, he realized he hadn’t really answered Left Garrison’s question, just rambled on, turning it into an absurd conversation.

”I think... I’ve already got the answer.”

Left Garrison smiled silently. The sharpness he carried upon entering the room was gone; he seemed to have reverted to that kind old man. If not for his identity, he might have said goodnight to Lorenzo.

”Wait a moment, Left Garrison.”

Lorenzo suddenly called out to him again. Left Garrison opened the door halfway, turned back, the light from the corridor illuminating his face, while Lorenzo remained shrouded in darkness.

”About what you said, I don’t know, nor do I understand, but I comprehend one thing.”

”What?”

”Everything taken by the Demons, I will demand it all back.

Not a single one left, I will demand it all back from the Demons.”

In the darkness, Left Garrison could see a slowly rising glow, like beams of light piercing through the clouds, strong and unstoppable.