Glory Of The Football Manager System

Bdd. Bdd. Bdd-dd.

Then they put Glad All Over on.

They have played that at Selhurst since 1968, when the Dave Clark Five did a concert there and somebody in the office had an idea, and this club has played it before every home match for 50 years.

”AND I’M FEELIN’...”

”PALACE!”

”...GLAD ALL OVER.”

”PALACE!”

60,000 people in a stadium that is not theirs, doing the thing they do in a stadium that is.

Then the anthem.

Tony Britten wrote it in 1992 and UEFA asked him for Handel, so he gave them Zadok the Priest, written in London in 1727 for a coronation and recorded for UEFA by 2 London orchestras. London music, off London music, played by London musicians, in front of a south London football club for the first time in 113 years.

It is in 3 languages and none of them matter. Everybody in Europe knows the same 2 words in the middle of it, neither of them is English, and 60,000 people shouted both.

RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAA.

Not 1 man in my 11 had heard it in his own shirt. James McArthur is 30, he has 250 appearances for this club and nobody has ever written a paragraph about him, and he stood on that halfway line with his arms folded and his jaw going, and when it stopped he turned round and shouted something at Nick Pope that Pope could not possibly have heard.

Behind me Cartwright and Blake came off that bench for it and stayed up, and Michael Olise did not sit down once in the whole half.

PRRRRRRP.

They went up when Pope kicked it and they did not come down for 20 minutes.

”EAGLES! EAGLES! EAGLES!”

I have stood on that touchline at Selhurst when it is going and I stood in Lyon in May, and this was louder than both for 20 minutes without a shot on target in it.

Højbjerg had Chilwell 8 yards away in the 4th minute and hit a 40 yard diagonal instead, and it went out for a goal kick and 60,000 people roared anyway. Bowen came inside on his left on 9 and hit it from 25 with 3 men in front of him, and the noise when he pulled his foot back was the noise you get for a goal.

14 minutes. James Tarkowski, a centre half, took 2 touches on the halfway line and hit it from 30.

3 men doing the wrong thing for the same reason, and the reason was stood on all 4 sides of them screaming.

”WAHEY HEY, WILFRIED ZAHA. WAHEY HEY, WILFRIED ZAHA.”

They sang it every time the ball went near his foot and he heard it, and he went at 2 men, and then he went at 2 men again.

Bray got to me at 20 minutes with the card in his hand and did not open it.

”They are not coming out.”

”I know.”

”Then stop asking them to.” He had his back to the pitch. ”Pierre is hitting 40 yarders because he thinks somebody has to make something happen, and Christian has run 40 yards backwards twice and nobody asked him to.”

”What do you want?”

”I want Achraf 15 yards higher and I want that ball going to him 6 times before it goes anywhere else. 6 times, boss. Not twice.”

”And Rúben?”

”Rúben is a separate problem and it is not one we are solving on a touchline.”

Scott Dann had been off the bench since 11 minutes and had not sat back down.

”SLOW IT. SLOW IT DOWN. 60 SECONDS.”

He is 31, he has not played since May, and he was coaching a back 4 he is not in from 40 yards away. Tarkowski heard him and put 3 across the back and we kept it for a minute and a half, and that was the first time all night anybody on our side had done something on purpose.

Icardi got in behind Sakho on 19 and Pope came 6 yards and made himself enormous.

Thump.

Politano cut inside Chilwell on 26 and hit it early, and Pope went to his left and held it, and held it, and did not push it anywhere. Both of those were 4 passes, and 4 passes was the whole plan, and it was a good one.

29 minutes. Achraf Hakimi went 70 yards on the outside of Wilfried Zaha, and Danilo D’Ambrosio went with him, and for the first time in the match Zaha had 1 man in front of him instead of 2.

He beat him.

”RRRRRRAAAAAAA.”

The cross went behind Benteke and out for a goal kick, and it did not matter, because every man in a red shirt had just watched the thing they were told at 7 o’clock happen in front of 60,000 people.

They did it again on 33. They did it again on 36.

”SEND HIM. SEND HIM AGAIN.”

Joel Ward and Jack Grealish, 4 yards onto the grass, and the fourth official could not be bothered.

Inter went from 8 yards deep to 12. Nainggolan started getting back a second later each time, and Rúben Neves, who had been stood on for half an hour, put 3 passes forward in 4 minutes because somebody finally had a reason to leave him.

There were 4,200 Internazionale in the north east corner who had not stopped since 7, with 3 drums and a man with his back to the pitch conducting them.

”PAZZA INTER. PAZZA INTER AMALA.”

Deano counted 11 flags. Nathan found 2 that had been made for this match with an eagle on them, which means somebody in Milan spent part of August on us.

At 38 minutes Wembley went back up and stayed there.

Terry Dolan has had a seat in Block 122 at Selhurst since 1979 and he lost a shoe at this stadium on the 5th of August. His son put in for 2 tickets at 11 minutes past midnight on the night of the draw and got row 4 behind the near goal, and Nathan says the pair of them were on their feet from 38 to the whistle.

43 minutes. Hakimi again, and Zaha squared it first time, and Bowen hit the side netting from 8 yards with 60,000 arms already up.

45+2. Chilwell crossed, Benteke got above Škriniar, and Samir Handanović caught it above his own head without moving his feet.

Best moment of our half, and it was a goalkeeper catching a ball.

PRRRRRRP.

Half time. Crystal Palace 0 Internazionale 0.

They clapped them off standing, the whole way round, for 11 men who had not scored.

They played Glad All Over once on Tuesday night. You get it again when you score.

I walked down that tunnel about 6 feet behind Radja Nainggolan. He had his shirt off before he reached the door and he was blowing, and he turned his head and looked at the 11 men behind him for about half a second, and went in.

[RADJA NAINGGOLAN. 45 MINUTES. 6.1KM. STAMINA 15.]

Ivan Perišić got to our door 4 seconds after me and did not go through it.

”Boss.”

”Go on.”

”Now,” he said.

I stopped in that corridor with 11 men walking past me.

”Say it properly.”

”The last 15 minutes were right and you know they were right.” He had his hands in his pockets and his coat still on. ”I played 4 seasons next to Radja. He has done 45 minutes stood on a 21-year-old, he is 30, and he has had a summer. He is not tired at 65. He is finished at 65.”

”Bray told me on 20 that Rúben was not a touchline problem.”

”Bray is right and Bray is a coach. I am telling you as a man who has been the 21-year-old.” He nodded at the door. ”Rúben has not moved 10 yards all night, because you put him there and he will stand there until you tell him not to. So stop asking him to beat Radja. Move him.”

”Move him where?”

”Anywhere. That is the whole point of it.” Perišić put a hand out flat and slid it 10 yards to the left. ”If there is nobody stood there, Radja has to decide whether to follow him, and he is 30 and he is on 6 kilometres and he will not follow him. Then the middle of that pitch is empty, and everything you said at 7 o’clock works twice.”

Marcus was at my shoulder with a tablet open on a heat map.

”4.4 of that 6.1 is inside a 20 yard square round Rúben.”

”Show me the square.”

He showed me the square.

I have been reading that number off men for 17 months and I have never once been able to use it at half time, because you cannot make a man tired in a dressing room.

You can only stop giving him a reason to stand still.

I went through that door with 4 things in my head and I said 1 of them.

”Rúben. You are not playing there in the second half.”

He looked up.

”Where am I playing?”

”Wherever he is not.”