Glory Of The Football Manager System

The away end went berserk. Three thousand people in the Yorkshire cold screaming the name of a sixteen-year-old they had barely heard of an hour ago.

The noise was volcanic not proportional to the number of people producing it, the way Palace fans’ noise was never proportional. On the pitch, Rodríguez pulled Olise into a hug. Zaha sprinted across to ruffle his hair. Neves applauded from the centre circle.

On the bench, Paddy McCarthy was standing, both hands on his head, his mouth open, his eyes red. The man who had told me about a trial player fifteen months ago. The man who had coached that boy every week since I left the U18s. Eze was on his feet clapping. Townsend was clapping. McArthur, who had been at Palace for five years and had seen everything the club could offer, was clapping too.

Olise’s celebration was no celebration at all. He turned to Rodríguez, who had played the pass, and raised his hand a small, almost apologetic gesture of thanks, as though scoring a Premier League goal was something that had happened to him rather than something he had done.

He jogged back to the halfway line, retied his boot, and waited for the restart. No knee-slide. No ear-cup. No running to the camera. The nonchalance was so complete, so genuine, so utterly absent of performance, that it became its own kind of statement.

Sarah was laughing beside me. ”He looks like he’s just returned a library book.”

”That’s the scariest thing about him,” I said. ”He doesn’t know he’s supposed to be excited.”

I substituted him in the eighty-third minute McArthur on for the final stretch. As Olise reached the touchline, I put both hands on his shoulders, the way Frankie used to with me after Sunday league matches.

”Do you understand what you just did?”

”I scored a goal, gaffer.”

”You scored a Premier League goal at sixteen years old. You’re the youngest player to ever do that for this club. And you did it with a finish that belonged in a Champions League final, not a December afternoon in Huddersfield.”

Those quiet eyes. ”Can I start on Boxing Day?”

I laughed. ”We’ll see, Michael.”

He walked to the bench, sat down, put his jacket on. Townsend handed him a water bottle. Eze put an arm around him. And Olise sat there with the unremarkable composure of a boy who had always known this was coming and was mildly surprised that everyone else was so excited about it.

The match ended 3-1. On the bus, before we had even left the stadium car park, my phone was detonating.

Jessica called first. ”Michael Olise is trending number one in the UK. The goal clip has four million views in forty minutes. Every outlet is running it BBC, Sky, BT, The Athletic, The Guardian, everyone. ’Youngest Palace PL scorer’ is the headline everywhere.”

”Good. Let the goal speak. No interviews tonight.”

”Agreed. But Danny there’s something else.” A pause. ”Three podcasts have contacted me this week wanting you as a guest. Two football, one general interest. One of them is massive two million subscribers. They want a long-form interview. Your story. Moss Side to the Premier League.”

I watched the Yorkshire countryside scroll past the tinted windows, the snow that had started falling during the second half now settling on the fields in thin, white sheets. ”I’ll think about it.”

”Think quickly. The interest is peaking. After tonight, after Olise, the narrative is...”

”I know what the narrative is, Jess. I’ll think about it. But not tonight. Tonight is Michael’s.”

She understood. Jessica always understood the difference between the brand and the person. It was why I trusted her.

I opened Twitter. The timeline was a wall of Olise content. The goal from every angle the Sky cameras, the BT cameras, fan footage from the away end showing the moment of impact, the collective explosion. Someone had already made a compilation: Bristol City rainbow flick, Lazio post, West Ham assist, Huddersfield goal. Twelve seconds of footage. Eight million views.

Sky Sports’ studio was running a segment. Jeff Stelling was showing the goal on the big screen while Merson, Le Tissier, and Thompson watched. Merson: ”That left foot that’s not a sixteen-year-old’s foot.That’s a thirty-year-old Brazilian’s foot. The weight of the touch, the angle of the finish I haven’t seen a teenager do that since Rooney at Everton.”

Le Tissier, who knew a thing or two about spectacular left-footed goals: ”The nutmeg is the detail people will miss. He didn’t go around the defender. He went through him. At sixteen. In December. At minus two. On a frozen pitch. That’s not talent. That’s audacity.”

Thompson, shaking his head: ”Danny Walsh. He finds them, doesn’t he? He finds them and he builds them. Aaron, Eze, Nya, Connor, Konaté, and now Olise. The academy is producing players at a rate I haven’t seen from a club this size.”

I put the phone away. Emma had texted: ”MICHAEL OLISE. I’m writing 800 words for The Athletic right now and I’m crying into my laptop. His face after the goal Danny, he looked like he’d just posted a letter. I love this boy. Get home safe. The heating is on and I’ve opened wine.”

Frankie: ”Saw the kid score. Good finish. Reminds me of a young lad I used to coach in Moss Side. Same composure. Same left foot. Different weather.”

I smiled at that one. High praise from a man who dispensed compliments the way banks dispensed loans rarely, grudgingly, and with extensive conditions attached.

Neville’s text arrived as the bus passed Sheffield: ”Alright. I’ve seen enough. Third in the table. Europa League group winners. League Cup semi-finalists. 16-year-olds scoring in the Premier League. I’ll say it on Monday Night Football but I’ll tell you first: the project is real. Well played, Danny. Happy Christmas.”

I read it twice. The man who had been hedging since August. The man who had said ”let’s see at Christmas” with the cautious scepticism of a pundit protecting his credibility. Christmas was two days away.

Palace were on forty-five points. Manchester United, who had drawn at home to Burnley that afternoon, were on forty-four. We were above them. Above Manchester United. Above José Mourinho. Above the club I had grown up supporting, the club whose posters had covered my bedroom wall in Moss Side.

The bus hummed southward through the snow. The players slept. Olise, in his seat, earphones in, was watching something on his phone probably not his own goal, probably not the Sky Sports segment, probably something that had nothing to do with football, because Michael Olise existed in a world where scoring Premier League goals was one of several things that happened on a Saturday and not necessarily the most interesting.

Life had been good to me these past few days. The sleep had returned. Emma was taking the podcast. Mum was seeing the doctor. Neves and I had sat in a canteen and laughed at a video of his daughter walking into a cabinet. The squad was healthy, the form was extraordinary, and a sixteen-year-old I had rescued from a rejected trial had just become the youngest goalscorer in Crystal Palace’s Premier League history.

Frankie had told me to run on something real. This the snow, the bus, the sleeping players, the text from my mum that would arrive when I got home, the woman with the red hair and the open wine waiting in Dulwich this was real. All of it.

I closed my eyes and let the bus carry me south.

[FULL TIME: Huddersfield 1–3 Crystal Palace.]

[Goals: Benteke 31’, Zaha 67’, Olise 76’. Huddersfield: Mooy 43’.]

[Overall: P37 W31 D3 L3. GF: 88. GA: 32.]

[Premier League: P19 W14 D3 L2. Points: 45. Position: 2nd.]

[Crystal Palace have overtaken Manchester United (42 pts) and now sit 2nd in the Premier League. Behind only Manchester City.]

[Michael Olise: youngest Crystal Palace Premier League goalscorer. 16 years, 2 months, 14 days. Clip: 8M+ views. Trending #1 UK. Sky Sports studio: ”That’s not talent. That’s audacity.”]

[Gary Neville: ”The project is real.” Christmas deadline: met.]

[Staff performance: Sarah identified the tactical vulnerability at 15 minutes. Rebecca flagged Navas at 58 minutes. Bray tracked set-piece patterns throughout. Marcus fed aerial data. The machine works because the people work.]

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Thank you to Sir nameyelus for the Super Gift.