Eternally Regressing in Another World

Chapter 13: Square 11: Three Against Three (1)

”Honey! Now, while we can!”

”Right, let’s run!”

The girl’s family hurried out through the hole the carriage had smashed into the wall. I worried whether the fat man might chase after them, but maybe because he’d been told to leave it alone, he just chewed on his fingernail, staring off blankly without moving.

”Alright then...”

I got down from the carriage and checked the situation. I’d charged in without thinking it through, so I was relieved to see no one was hurt. The room, now connected to the next one after the carriage tore through both walls, had turned into something like an open hall, which honestly made it decent ground for a fight.

”Elizabeth, just buying time is fine. If we can stall long enough for that family to get away...”

”What are you saying. I intend to knock her down in spectacular fashion.”

”Not even listening to me.”

Even though I’d talked a big game myself, I had basically zero combat ability. Which meant the fighting was going to fall entirely on this dazzling noble girl.

”Elizabeth, kind of late to ask, but can you actually win this?”

”Hmph, what is that supposed to mean. Are you implying I’m unreliable?”

Well, when someone struts around in an outfit that impractical, it’s hard to feel much confidence. But she carried herself with real conviction. Maybe she had some powerful magic hidden away after all.

”Ufufu, you two get along so well. Seeing that just makes me want to tear you apart.”

”Hmph, enjoy your composure while it lasts. One of the Blue Rose’s top officers, Nest Darrich!”

”Oh my, fully exposed already.”

Nest pulled back her hood, revealing the face that had been hidden in shadow. Beautiful silver hair, dark skin, pointed ears, a dark elf. Her face was far more striking in person than it had looked on the tablet footage.

”Aah, found out within an hour of entering the town. Even I’m a little surprised.”

While Nest chuckled to herself, Elizabeth gave me quiet instructions.

”You take care of that small fry over there.”

She pointed toward the huge man, who was still standing there blankly, clearly not thinking about much of anything.

”Wha!? O... okay, leave it to me!”

I ended up puffing my chest out without meaning to, but wait, no, that’s not it at all! I had assumed the butler who came with us would handle the Fulm brothers. But thinking it over, I was dressed like an assassin, or rather, mistaken for one. Of course they’d count me as part of the fighting force. But look at that thing, a cleaver so absurdly huge you’d only see it in a splatter movie. If the edge so much as grazed me, half my body would go flying off.

”Big brooother, come on in already. It’s not fair you get to slack off out there while I do the work!”

Oh right, there had been another one. The slim man who seemed to be the huge man’s brother was nowhere inside the room. Looking outside, I spotted the butler.

”Shut it! I’m a little busy right now, can’t you see, damn it!”

The slim man came into view, skillfully wielding a knife against the butler.

”Ugh, you’re so damn annoying, scurrying around like that!!”

”Fufun, no matter how many times you try, an attack like that won’t land.”

So the butler and the slim man were already fighting. I’d assumed he wasn’t around, but he’d jumped straight into battle first. Three against three. If I got cold feet and backed off just because I was weak, we’d end up outnumbered and dead anyway.

”Ah, fine, I got it. Guess I’ll do this myself.”

The huge man raised his cleaver. His massive body took one step toward me. Given his size, that single step put me well within range. Fat or not, there was no way I could beat him on raw physical ability. So instead of relying on reflexes, I threw a decoy.

”Take this!”

What flew toward the man’s face was my business card holder.

”Eh? Wha... what’s that?”

While the huge man’s attention was caught by the card holder, I threw myself backward with everything I had. Trying to knock away the foreign object in front of him, his aim stayed off me as the cleaver came down. Even as basically a swing and a miss, the wind it kicked up sounded like a small typhoon. The force of the air alone knocked me off balance, hard enough to actually hurt.

”Well, whatever works.”

The destructive force was obvious from the hole left in the floor. The mark looked like something struck by a giant hammer, enough to make my skin crawl.

”Whoa, damn it, changing spots!”

”No you don’t!”

Determined not to let me escape, he swung the cleaver sideways this time. That wasn’t a hit my reflexes could dodge on their own.

”Here we go, oh!?”

The horizontal swing caught on the outer wall and slowed down considerably.

”Guhh!!”

I slid across the floor like a baseball slide, passing just beneath it. The force of the swing still brushed against my hair.

”That was close!”

Just imagining what would’ve happened if that swing had landed cleanly made my stomach turn. But if I ran now, Elizabeth would end up facing two opponents at once. If that happened, our chances of winning would drop to basically nothing.

”Come on already, fat ass! I’ll keep you busy over here!”

I ran out through the entrance, pulling the target away from Elizabeth’s direction. Fighting him head on, I had zero percent chance of winning. But there was no choice, I had to be the one to do this.

”Did you just call me fat? You just called me fat, didn’t you!!!”

Apparently that was a forbidden word. Blind with rage, he came charging after me without thinking.

”Faster than I expected...”

I wasn’t exactly athletic myself. But I’d figured a lump of flesh that jiggled with that much fat would be easy to outrun.

”Damn it, the distance isn’t opening up!”

The huge man kept chasing without a single thought in his head. At this rate, I might run out of stamina before he did. What do I do, think of something, or I’m dead!!

”Wait, no, there!”

An all or nothing gamble. I dove into an alley I caught sight of out of the corner of my eye. If it turned out to be a dead end, that would be the end of me.

”How about tha... oh, no way.”

Overwhelming bad luck. Calling it a road straight from hell wouldn’t be an exaggeration. The single path I’d dove into, praying to whatever god might be listening. And waiting at the hopeless dead end, as if placed there on purpose, graffiti of a grim reaper.

”Phew, phew, aah. I’m not gonna forgive you now. Not even if I turn you into paste, I won’t forgive you, got it?”

”Man, I really am cursed, seriously.”

I calmly lit a cigarette. I wasn’t about to let it end here. Cornered like this, I was going to turn it around.

”You’re so damn annoying, scurrying around like that!! Huh!?”

”Fufun, no matter how many times you try, an attack like that won’t land.”

The slim man’s knifework was genuinely impressive, but it hadn’t so much as grazed Tender’s body.

”...That movement, don’t tell me, body enhancement type?”

”Oh, surprisingly well informed. Didn’t expect a two bit thug to figure that out.”

Tender scratched his head with exaggerated flair.

”Well obviously, if I can’t land a hit on you, there’s gotta be some trick to it.”

”Quite the confidence you’ve got.”

”Course I do, because...”

The man’s body flickered green for an instant.