Eldritch Horror Theatre

”Huh?”

The sound came from Raymond, but Fu Qian felt it would have perfectly matched Kadon’s reaction in that moment.

Clearly, his suggestion had shocked both of his listeners.

He couldn’t blame them. Anyone with a normal train of thought could easily see that this suggestion had absolutely nothing to do with Raymond’s predicament.

Like many people, Raymond was highly dissatisfied with his life.

And also very typically, he was entirely powerless to change it.

At a time like this, a life mentor truly became necessary. But the contents of this guidance...

”What, you can’t even afford that?”

Faced with Raymond’s hesitation, the life mentor’s voice abruptly turned ice-cold.

Although Expert Fu’s success seminar was free of charge, was he really not planning to show a little token of appreciation?”No! That’s not it... I just don’t understand—what if the coffee goes bad and they still don’t show up?”

His slightly eased nerves instantly drew taut again at the questioning from behind.

Raymond rushed to assure him he could afford it, then quietly voiced the question weighing on his mind.

In truth, his attitude was already extremely tactful.

The task Fu Qian demanded seemed simple, but a little thought revealed many issues with its feasibility.

Aside from food spoilage—something any shop owner would easily recognize—how was he supposed to confirm their names? Ask every single customer?

And even if the names matched, how could he be certain they were those exact two people?

Furthermore, how could he be sure they would even accept the coffee?

And of course, the final and most important question: how exactly would this improve Raymond’s mud-like existence?

Of course, he lacked the courage to actually ask that question.

”Then replace it with a fresh batch.”

A mentor was a mentor for a reason. Fu Qian had clearly anticipated Raymond’s question, letting out a low chuckle.

”Though even if the new batch expires again, they still might not come. Even if they come, they might not be willing to speak to you. Even if they speak to you, they might not be willing to drink your coffee—”

Before Raymond could express his understanding, Fu Qian continued, excavating layer upon layer of pessimism and helplessness.

”Most importantly, even if they do drink it, they won’t leave you any secret martial arts manuals, peerless divine swords, or superpower fruits to completely turn your life around... In fact, it won’t even change the dismal state of your shop’s business.”

But an even greater sense of powerlessness followed. Fu Qian directly punctured the very doubt Raymond hadn’t dared to speak, delivering a truly despair-inducing answer.

”The reason you need to do this is very simple: I am telling you to do it.”

It still wasn’t over. A cold, heart-piercing stab immediately followed as Fu Qian spat out that flat yet brutal sentence.

...

Helping someone unearth the meaning of life and inspiring them to become a brand-new self truly sounded like a wonderful thing. It seemed to be exactly what a life mentor ought to do.

Unfortunately, based on Fu Qian’s many years of experience as a human being, in most cases, that was nothing more than theatrical idealism.

Having a motive wasn’t enough; one also needed drive.

For many people, simply knowing what was right was useless.

A soul that had struggled for too long had already lost the strength to walk the correct path.

For true professionals, the key thing to provide in such situations was actually that drive.

Take Brother Raymond, for instance.

He was already powerless to psychoanalyze himself, let alone muster the strength to change simply by telling himself what was right.

Therefore, Fu Qian chose to directly provide an external source of drive, even borrowing the names and personas of two old friends to do so.

In short, starting today, Raymond had one more mandatory task upon opening his eyes, and he could stick to it without any internal friction whatsoever.

This most likely wouldn’t make his life any more exciting. After all, Bernard and Loretta weren’t lucky enough to randomly spawn into the Real World all that often.

Even if they did arrive in the Real World, the chances of them coincidentally walking into this exact shop were infinitesimally small.

Barring any surprises, Raymond would spend the rest of his life maintaining a meaningless vigil.

But perhaps this meaningless act would allow him to sit here every day with a bit more peace of mind.

Of course, this expectation was just a tiny bit of compensation for the help he had provided during the mission.

”I think he understands.”

At that moment, Kadon, who had been silent for a long time beside him, suddenly spoke up. His demeanor had shifted from its previous confusion to a state of calm.

Studying the seemingly short-circuited Raymond, Kadon even stood up as he spoke, indicating that Fu Qian’s teaching had been a resounding success.

”Shouldn’t we be going? This coffee really isn’t good.”

He immediately changed the subject, not wanting to linger.

”But we still need to pay.”

Nodding, Fu Qian seemed quite satisfied with Kadon’s change in attitude, though he still made a point to emphasize that extra detail.

And he wasn’t just talking. The next moment, he reached a hand into his clothes.

When he pulled it back out, he was startlingly holding an exquisitely decorated holster, which he casually tossed in front of Raymond.

Click...

Not only that, but the thumb of his other hand slowly lowered the hammer of a handgun.

In the next moment, this artwork-grade weapon was also tossed by Raymond’s hand.

”Let’s go.”

Having done all this, Fu Qian casually called out to Kadon and immediately took the lead, walking out ahead.

And even after he stepped outside the door, no bullets were fired at his back.

...

”A brilliant performance.”

Although the compensation Fu Qian gave was somewhat excessively valuable, Kadon—the suspected original owner of the weapon—didn’t seem to mind.

The moment they got back into the car, the Old Man even offered high praise for his performance just now.

As a widely experienced individual on the verge of death, he could clearly empathize with quite a bit.

”You flatter me. I should be thanking you for your cooperation.”

Fu Qian was equally modest, even returning the thanks.

Keeping distinct matters separate, this was by no means a mere social courtesy.

If the Old Man hadn’t put on a live performance of taking a bullet without falling, the probability of Brother Raymond firing at their backs just now would have been a few percentage points higher.

After all, humans possessed an instinct to eliminate fear—such as by putting a bullet into a Thug who had their back turned.

But now, within this Thug duo, there was already concrete proof that one of them couldn’t be killed with a single shot.

Such a scene would undoubtedly induce a considerable amount of despair.

Perhaps, in theory, for this sort of dimensional strike bullying, one could seek out the Night Watchers for justice.

But even if their service attitude was flawless, to bring a transcendent to justice simply over this kind of inexplicable intimidation...

And don’t forget, they couldn’t even be certain if the one who fired the gun was a transcendent... not to mention Bernard and Loretta, who might come to drink coffee.

In short, as long as he had even a bit of realistic understanding of the world, Brother Raymond wouldn’t even think about touching the gun’s grip before the two of them had completely left.

”So, what is the next item?”

And at this moment, it wasn’t just a verbal thanks. With his hands on the steering wheel, Fu Qian took the initiative to indicate that he would continue sticking to his post.

The fifth item on the Checklist had already been completed. Old Man Kadon’s earlier action of plopping his butt into the backseat had fully demonstrated this point.