Dragon Canon

Chapter 133: Milking Him Dry

Ji Liuli removed the isolating barrier and said to Xu Wenwu, “Go do your thing. We would like to discuss some things among ourselves.”

The young man felt dazed and confused when he took his leave. Sometimes, he would go over one of his responses and feel that he could have phrased it better. Sometimes, he would berate his past self for not paying more attention to his studies. Had he memorized even just a few more formulas, he would be the center of attention and living the high life right now.

After Xu Wenwu was gone, Zhang Sheng asked Wei Yuan, “You are the lord of this realm. What is your decision?”

He pondered for a moment before replying, “I believe he is useful. His ignorance and incompetence aside, the world he inhabited was essentially a mortal world. Somehow, mere mortals were able to build a thriving and flourishing world for themselves. To say that they offer us much to learn from would be an understatement. I believe that simply knowing what they have achieved is a huge gain. As for how we can replicate those achievements, I believe we can figure it out ourselves. A few formulas is nothing in comparison.”

Bao Yun echoed in agreement, “I agree. The mortals living in Li Bai’s era are really no different from ours. Even just one natural disaster could have killed them in droves. However, things were completely different in Xu Wenwu’s era. Not only could ordinary people afford to eat whatever they wanted, those who fattened themselves too much were even ridiculed and made fun of. Xu Wenwu’s family was just an ordinary household, yet their life was far better than a wealthy mortal household in our world. I believe that this contrast is worth deeper study.”

Xiao Yu spoke up. “I can agree with that. However, I must say that Xu Wenwu himself is uneducated, incompetent, clueless, and long-winded to boot. What are we going to do about him?”

Ji Liuli suggested, “We can perform a Sacrifice to Heaven if you want!”

“Excuse me?” Wei Yuan exclaimed in surprise.

“I mean, we can exchange him for another otherworldly visitor,” Ji Liuli clarified.

Seeing the confused look on everyone’s face, Ji Liuli explained, “For all his faults, Xu Wenwu is an otherworldly visitor. Therein lies his greatest value. Assuming that Yun’er and my theory was correct, then their world is either coming to a standstill or already destroyed. If we use Xu Wenwu as bait and fortune as a fishing line to perform a Sacrifice to Heaven ritual, then we can potentially fish over a human of similar fate from the infinite worlds. Who knows, perhaps our next otherworldly visitor would be a man of learning—or as he put it, a high achiever.”

“That... can’t be easy, right?” Wei Yuan asked.

“For most people, the answer is yes. But for the Heavenly Mysteries Hall? Not at all. When the time is right, I will ask the founder to set up a Heaven-Revolving Shen-Shang Great Array. Once Xu Wenwu is placed at the center of the array, all nearby fishes would be drawn to him. With luck, we might even catch several otherworldly visitors at once. One for one is already a good deal. If we get more, that’s a huge profit.”

Zhang Sheng nodded approvingly. “Sounds like a good plan.”

“It would be the best use of the man for sure,” Xiao Yu also echoed in agreement.

Wei Yuan felt a throbbing headache as the noose slowly tightened around Xu Wenwu’s neck. He could not help but resent the man for being such a disappointment. If he had spent more time memorizing formulas and less time reading novels while he was in school, he would not have ended up as the sacrificial offering in a Sacrifice to Heaven ritual. At the very least, they would have milked him dry first before sacrificing him[1].

Wei Yuan forced himself to say, “I still have a bit of use for this man. Is there another method that doesn’t require harming his life?”

Ji Liuli shook her head. “It’s called Sacrifice to Heaven. The point is to sacrifice. It would be difficult to carry out the ritual without harming him.”

Bao Yun chimed in, “I believe he has some worth as well. If nothing else, what he saw and heard in his world will be very useful. As for his long-windedness, I know a few ways to deal with it. Just leave it to me.”

“Alright. We can always sacrifice him after we’ve milked him dry.” Ji Liuli accepted the compromise.

Bao Yun turned to Wei Yuan next. “What are your current arrangements for him?”

“Watering the plants, loosening the soil, and taking the horse out for two hours.”

She nodded. “Good. The rest of his time belongs to me. Is that okay with you?”

“Sure.” Wei Yuan agreed without thinking.

He paused for a moment before continuing, “Even after we’ve extracted everything he has seen and heard, we will likely encounter many obstacles when trying to implement them in our world. For example, some of the things that exist in their world may simply not exist here. Besides that, I’ve also noticed that their world has a much finer system of measurement for time, weight, length, and more. I imagine they must have a way of cutting objects into extremely small parts[2].”

“We can do that t—” Zhang Sheng subconsciously spoke up, but cut himself off at the last second.

Wei Yuan continued, “I believe there is a need to invite more people from the Heavenly Mysteries Hall, Mastercraft Hall, Mother Nature Monastery, and Xuanming Hall to research them. We already have Big Senior Sister for the Heavenly Mysteries Hall, so our current priority is to recruit disciples from the other three.”

Ji Liuli looked around for a bit before remarking, “This is not going to be easy. This place is poor, while those three are swimming in wealth. We would have to resort to trickery. If anyone has a favor or two that they can use, now is the time!”

She had been keeping her eyes on Bao Yun and Xiao Yu as she spoke. Xiao Yu immediately replied, “I don’t have many friends, whereas Sister Bao has many flies orbiting around her. I believe she is more suited to the task than me.”

Bao Yun did not look angry despite his curt remark. “We don’t really want people from other sects, right?”

Zhang Sheng agreed. “Unless we don’t have a choice, that’s correct.”

Bao Yun shook her head. “In that case, this should be our last resort. Anyone I can call upon at this stage is going to be troublesome in some ways. Xiao Yu said it, didn’t he? They’re all flies.”

Zhang Sheng hesitated for a moment before saying, “I can try and contact Yu Zhizhuo of the Mastercraft Hall. He might be willing to come himself, if not dispatch a few useful disciples at least.”

Ji Liuli looked taken aback. “Since when do you have him wrapped around your thumb?”

“It’s not what you think. And I am not at all sure it will work.”

“Doesn’t matter. Write that letter now!” Ji Liuli sent Zhang Sheng away before saying, “It’s a shame that Hsu Henshui had gone to the Eastern Sea. Otherwise, we would have someone from the Mother Nature Monastery as well. Now, we’ll have to find someone else.”

Xiao Yu said, “I have a clansman who’s studying under the Xuanming Hall. I might be able to invite him over.”

“The Jianmu[3] Hall specializes in spirit plants and spirit pets. Should we recruit someone from there?” Bao Yun suggested.

Wei Yuan shook his head. “This can wait. Qingming naturally provides a special boost to spirit plants. For now, it is enough.”

The group would continue to hash out the plan until they had roughly decided the next step. Then, they split up and threw themselves into their respective tasks.

Moments later, Xu Wenwu went to Bao Yun as soon as he finished watering the plants and loosening the soil. Saying, “Follow me,” Bao Yun stood up and led him down a secluded path. It wasn’t long before they arrived at a stone house located at the foot of the mountain.

The stone house was perfectly square and built from stone and soil instead of wood or brick. It was also perfectly seamless—Bao Yun had casually weaved it into existence just moments ago.

The stone house was only one square zhang wide. It had exactly one table and one chair. Both were created from stone as well. The ceiling was emitting a gentle light that illuminated the interior completely. No matter how hard he looked, Xu Wenwu was unable to find anything that he might call a lamp. Internally, he sighed: This world sure is incredible. I guess improving candles and inventing electrical light are no-goes as well.

Bao Yun pointed at the brush and paper on the table and ordered, “You will write down everything you’ve seen and heard on this piece of paper. Anything is fine. However, the content must not be repeated more than three times.”

“How much should I write?”

“You will write a minimum of thirty thousand words a day. You will not be allowed to eat, drink, or rest until you’re done. You best give it your all.”

“Thirty thousand words?!” Xu Wenwu exclaimed in shock before pointing at the piece of jade paper, “But there’s only one piece of paper!”

“The next page will appear automatically once you’ve filled up a page. Don’t worry, you won’t be able to fill it all.”

“But—”

Bao Yun interrupted him, “If you fail to meet the quota, then the leftovers will roll over to the next day. If it piles up to the point where it is impossible to finish, or if we think that what you’ve written is worthless, then we will put you up for the Sacrifice to Heaven ritual.”

Xu Wenwu stammered, “W-what is Sacrifice to Heaven?”

“You’ve already witnessed it once from the Shamans. It’s the same thing.”

Aghast, Xu Wenwu argued, “You can’t treat me like this! I want to meet big bro, no, His Majesty! He won’t allow you to do this!”

Bao Yun giggled. “This is his command. I am here simply because he couldn’t bring himself to tell you about it.”

Stunned, Xu Wenwu murmured listlessly, “I should have known. None is more heartless than a monarch; there is no difference between accompanying a ruler or a tiger....”

Bao Yun interrupted him again, “You best start writing. Otherwise, you won’t be eating today.”

She then looked down at his stomach and added, “Actually, I take it back. It would be good for you to skip a couple meals.”

With that, Bao Yun left through the exit and closed the door behind her. As soon as the door swung shut, the seams vanished as if it had never existed. Now, Xu Wenwu was the only one left inside the room.

Suddenly, Xu Wenwu jumped and landed a flying kick where the door used to be. Of course, he bounced right off and failed to shake the stone house even a little. It was like being kicked by a mosquito.

He then stared at the open, one square chi window for a few moments. In the end, he gave up. He would have to skip more than a few meals to grow slim enough to climb out of the window.

Left with no choice, he grabbed the brush and threw himself into writing. However, he found himself straining after writing just two lines. For one, his handwriting was so bad that even he found it to be intolerable. And two, his arms and hands were aching.

He began to wonder if he should invent a keyboard first. After all, that was his true weapon. Back in the day, he had used it to throw spit in every direction.

1. I would advise y’all to learn from Xu Wenwu’s mistakes and not empty your brains as soon as exams are over, but... yeah. ☜

2. And this is why we have “one ke” in dialogue. Hours exist, but not minutes or seconds yet. ☜

3. Jianmu is, to put it VERY succinctly, Chinese World Tree. ☜