Divine Level Witch Doctor

”Where’s the boss? Get your ass over here, now!” Scarface roared as he shot to his feet. He kicked the table over, and skewers and beer bottles scattered across the floor. The other patrons in the restaurant stared at them in astonishment.

The owner hurried over, his expression a mixture of tension and confusion. ”What’s wrong? What’s wrong? Sirs, is there something you’re not satisfied with?”

Scarface shouted viciously, ”You have the gall to ask me what’s wrong? Goddammit, tell me, did you put shit in our food? Fuck, what the hell did we ever do to you for you to pull this kind of crap? If you can’t give us a satisfactory explanation today, I’ll tear this whole damn restaurant down!”

Hearing this, the faces of the customers at the other tables instantly paled.

’Holy shit, there’s shit in the BBQ? Could this be any more fucking disgusting?!’

”That’s bullshit! You’re slandering us!”

But this owner wasn’t one to be pushed around, especially not when being framed like this. He instantly flew into a rage, let out a roar, and called all his restaurant staff over to confront Scarface and his gang.

”Slandering?” Scarface laughed in fury. ’I may be a con artist,’ he wanted to tell them, ’but this isn’t a con!’ ”Just take a good whiff. Where do you think that strong smell of shit is coming from?”

At his prompting, the owner and his staff did indeed catch a whiff of a powerful stench of shit.

It wasn’t just them; the customers at the neighboring tables smelled it too. Waves of nausea washed over them, and one person was so disgusted they threw up on the spot.

The owner was stunned. ’Where on earth is that stench coming from? I’m so careful with all my ingredients. This kind of problem should be absolutely impossible.’

The stout woman in charge of washing the vegetables was not pleased. ”I washed these vegetables myself, and I wash them clean!” she shrieked. ”That shit smell is definitely not coming from the food!”

Scarface snorted. ”If it’s not from the food, then where is it coming from? It’s not like it’s coming from one of my brothers, is it?”

The owner instinctively glanced at the group of thugs. Suddenly, his eyes narrowed. Pointing at one of them, he shouted, ”See? I told you that shit smell has nothing to do with our restaurant! Take a good look! It’s obvious this guy shit his pants!”

All eyes turned to the man the owner was pointing at.

Sure enough, the crotch of the man’s pants was soaked, and some of it was even dripping onto the floor. The foul stench of shit was coming directly from him.

”Holy shit!”

”Zhang the Third, what the hell is wrong with you?”

”Dammit, if you had to take a dump, you go to the bathroom! Why the hell would you do it right here?”

The faces of Scarface and his crew turned green. They scrambled away from their companion, terrified of getting any of the shit he’d just unleashed on themselves.

The man himself looked utterly bewildered. It wasn’t until he looked down at his own pants that he realized what had happened. ”When did I do this?” he cried out in shock. ”How did I not even know?”

Covering his mouth and nose, Scarface ordered with a disgusted expression, ”Just shut up and get to the bathroom! Take off your pants and get yourself cleaned up. Erhongzi, go see if there are any clothing stores open nearby and buy Zhang the Third a new pair of pants!”

Erhongzi just stood there blankly, not moving a muscle.

Scarface was already pissed off, but seeing Erhongzi’s vacant expression made him even more furious. He smacked him on the back of the head. ”What are you standing there like an idiot for? Are you fucking deaf?”

Erhongzi finally reacted, but he still didn’t leave. He turned his head to look at Scarface and asked blankly, ”Boss, what did you say?” His expression suddenly changed, and he cried out, ”What’s happening? Why can’t I speak? I can’t make a sound! And... why is it so quiet all of a sudden? What’s wrong?”

Now it was Scarface’s turn to be stunned. He grabbed Erhongzi by the collar and yelled, ”Don’t you fucking mess with me!”

Tears streamed down Erhongzi’s face as he bawled, ”Boss, what are you saying? Why are you just moving your mouth without making any sound?”

”Boss...” one of the lackeys asked timidly, ”Erhongzi... he didn’t actually go deaf, did he?”

Scarface couldn’t help but wonder. ’Did that slap from Zhao Yuan really deafen him? If so, 20,000 yuan is way too little compensation!’

He couldn’t help but curse aloud, ”Damn it, Erhongzi! Your reaction time is a little slow, don’t you think? Taking this long to finally go deaf!”

”Huh? What? Boss, what are you saying?” Erhongzi shrieked, now in a complete and utter panic.

Just as Scarface was about to order someone to take Erhongzi to the hospital, he heard a loud THUD. He whipped his head around to see Xiaochao had collapsed on the floor.

”Now what’s wrong with you?” Scarface demanded.

”I don’t know,” Xiaochao cried, terrified. ”I don’t know what happened. My back and legs just suddenly went numb and lost all their strength, and I collapsed! Boss, what’s happening to me? I’m not... I’m not really paralyzed, am I? I’m still young! I don’t want to spend the rest of my life as a useless cripple stuck in bed!”

Before Scarface could answer, his other lackeys started crying out one after another.

”Ouch, my stomach suddenly hurts.”

”AAAAH, my junk hurts so bad!”

”Hnnngh... what’s happening? Why am I suddenly so dizzy? The whole world is spinning, it feels awful! I can’t... I can’t take it, I’m gonna be sick!”

All of a sudden, the entire group of con artists had fallen ill.

Scarface’s face turned green.

’What the hell is going on?’ ’Are they all putting on an act? No, that can’t be it. If their acting was this good, they would’ve gone off to make it big in Beijing, Shanghai, or Guangzhou long ago. Why would they be stuck in this backwater town?’

’Did they all really get sick at the same time? But that’s just too bizarre. How could they all fall ill so suddenly, out of nowhere?’

As Scarface’s thoughts raced, a throbbing pain suddenly assaulted his head, followed by a wave of dizziness.

The headache grew stronger, and so did the dizziness. Within seconds, Scarface felt like his head was about to split open. The pain was excruciating.

”To the hospital! Quick, get to the hospital!”

Scarface roared, spinning around to make a break for the hospital.

”Hold on! Pay your bill!” the owner said, grabbing him. He snorted. ”I’ve seen my share of people who try to dine and dash, but this is the first time I’ve ever seen anyone use self-harm to get a free meal. Even so, you have to pay what you owe. Not a single cent less!”

Scarface pulled a few hundred yuan from his pocket and threw it at the owner.

But the owner didn’t let go, keeping a firm grip on him. ”This is enough for what you ate and drank, but you made my place reek. You’ll have to compensate me for a cleaning fee!”

Scarface was on the verge of tears.

’Goddammit, do you know this is extortion? Do you realize this is a crook ripping off another crook?’

’It’s true what they say. In this world, the most ruthless people are always your own colleagues!’

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