Dimensional Descent

The thoughts came in a whirlwind, moving faster and faster, and at some unknown time, Leonel’s thoughts began to flow. It was like the thoughts of his heart had helped him to focus, trying to find a central kernel of truth that was Leonel Morales.

For a long time, he had been lost.

In the first portion of his life, he had been led by his future self, led by the nose and controlled by a man who he had yet to become… a man he wasn’t even sure if he wanted to be.

Not long ago, he had broken free of those constraints, but it left him confused. His personality seemed to sway with the wind, confused and aimless, as though he had no sense of self or being at all… and the one thing that was truly him, the singular kernel that he was undoubtedly certain was Leonel Morales, also happened to be the one thing that he was just as certain would harm him.

Now, his mind was cracked and fissured, and the only thing that could seem to fix it was understanding himself…

But he didn’t even know who he was even after all this time…. And he couldn’t help but wonder if anyone ever truly understood themselves.

Thankfully, Mo’Lexi’s memory seemed to have awakened something within him. He had felt feelings just now that he hadn’t experienced in years…

It wasn’t just that it was sadness, he had been capable of feeling that long ago, especially whenever he recalled his father.

What he was truly feeling now was guilt… sympathy… a moral compass that he had thought that he had long since forgotten.

A part of him, a part that was buried extraordinarily deep, hidden beneath layers of logic and indifference… wanted to reach out and help Mo’Lexi.

It was a shocking feeling. He thought he had long since gotten over his savior complex. But, he had only ever been looking at things a single way.

Now that he thought about it, wasn’t this just as much a part of him as anything else? A part of him that he was ignoring just to justify his childish tantrums and trauma in losing his father?

Now that Leonel thought about it, when he had concluded that all lives were equal and that no one could objectively decide that one was better than the other… couldn’t he have easily made the opposite conclusion? Wasn’t there another path that was just as logical?

That path was obvious.

If it was the case that there was no objective value for life, then who was to say a human life was worth more than an animal’s? What of a plant? If there was no objective value for life at all, then who was to say a mere rock by the side of the road wasn’t just as valuable?

In that case, who cared how much he killed? How many people he tore apart, families he slaughtered, populations he genocided if their lives weren’t worth anything to begin with?

So why had he taken the opposite direction? Everything he had said just now was just as logically consistent. So why had he chosen to become a protector rather than a mass murderer?

If not for the death of his father, he would have remained on that path, seeking out a mountaintop that protected as many people as possible.

But instead, he had lost his way to grief. He gave up on everything that had once made him Leonel Morales, committing all sorts of foul deeds that would have made the former him blanch in shame.

And then he justified it all, feeling that there was no use in caring about anything else anymore.

Indeed. Because he was powerful, was there even a need to think about those things anymore? Was it worth his time, his patience? Were those he had killed that day even worth his guilt?

To say that he had ignored it would be incorrect… because he truly did not care. To say that he had forgotten them would be a bridge too far, but quite frankly, he couldn’t be bothered to remember them.

Much like when he had given up all the people of the Valiant Heart Zone in exchange for his brothers, he had made his own assessment of life and acted on it without the slightest care in the world.

He passed judgment, valued life, and weighed the hearts of people for no other reason than he could. When it suited him, he was even willing to flout and ignore his own so-called logic.

It wasn’t until now that he realized that he had let himself down the most.

That youthful vibrance that had been within him had been jaded by the world to the point that he had ignored it… to the point he even thought that it wasn’t him at all.

When he thought about things in this way, it was almost amusing, and maybe it would have been had it not cost so many their lives. It was difficult to even reconcile with the fact now.

As his mind seemed to come together once more, the red aura only seemed to have less and less of an effect on Leonel.

What was interesting about this current situation was that it was only possible thanks to his breakthrough in Weapon Force. Without the ability to lead his thoughts with his heart, he would have fallen completely, becoming a true creature of Destruction.

At that point, maybe the fears of a certain Anya would have come true. And maybe that was the goal, or at least one of the goals of the Demoness. Maybe since she could no longer control him, she preferred to destroy him. Or maybe watching him descend into madness was precisely what she needed to finish the last leg of her experiments.

But at this moment, Leonel’s heart was unprecedentedly clear.

He finally knew who he was.

And the moment he did, his eyes suddenly opened.