Diary of a Teenaged Mimic

Dear Diary,

Nights like tonight are ones when I really realize that despite the absolute shit show the place was when I found it, despite all the adult activities that have gone on atop my altar, many of which I’ve participated in, by the way, I really do think my Phileo Temple has become the Temple of Love in truth. Yeah, the fact that my High Clergy’s Holy Garb is designed to clean up messes has been used at least once a week to clean up sex funk before the kids come in for the day is a thing. Sex happens there. But here’s the thing; with the exception of folks who are sex repulsed, Love and sex are often intertwined. It is, in fact, a completely legitimate form of physical intimacy, an utterly acceptable act of love.

But that’s not the only act of love celebrated in my Temple. Heck, it’s not even the only one that happens on my Altar. I’ve sat there while my more Autistic Worshippers infodumped all over me to a degree that if they’d been spurting spooge my eyes would be glued shut. I’ve chatted with moms about their kids. I’ve held dying Worshippers and let them know in those final moments that they were loved, appreciated, that they had, in fact, crossed the ultimate marathon finish line and could rest.

Shit, there’s even a whole assed restaurant in the Temple. Two, I think, because I’m pretty sure the bar has a grill behind it somewhere. and I’m not sure if the kids are fed from the restaurant, the bar grill, or some other kitchens, but that’s another kind of love. My sister used to call it ’cupboard love’, but fuck, that’s one of the oldest mom love things there is, that whole ’eat, eat’ thing. Yeah, some places that got maybe unhealthy, especially with moms who fed sedentary kids too much crap, but honestly I’m pretty sure that shit isn’t happening here, and I’m also not certain if it was ever really a thing back in the day, or just another piece of bullshit floating down the river of runny bovine fecal matter designed to keep everybody guilty, exhausted, and afraid.

Blech. Now I’ve put myself off my feed. Absolutely not what I want to do when Dad and the fam have done so much work to put my ass back together after the dumb stunts I pulled after Yule.

So as we got near the end of the day yesterday, after Saffron pumped me full of enough dopamine and endorphins to launch a rocket, not to mention enough mixed spooge to make an utter mess out of the bed, I looked at her and said, ”Dress?”

”You’ll be going to your Revel tonight then?”

”Uh...”

She tilted her head, the Yandere Shobitch Wedding Gown settling into place on her. ”I can’t think of another reason you’d need to clean up.”

”I mean, dinner?”

Saffron grinned down at me as she massaged some feeling back into my legs. The impact of some of the angles she’d managed was hard to believe without experiencing it, but it did wind up with my ankles in odd places. ”Oh, I’m sure Marie could whip up some cinnamon rolls or pumpkin pie to explain the smell.”

I chuckled, but felt some kinda way. ”I’m not sure I’m up to anything like this with my Worshippers tonight.”

She shrugged, still smiling, as the dress started powering up. ”So tell them that. Do not deny them your presence, simply note that you are still healing, and would not spoil the intimate moments of any of your faithful by being less than they expect.”

At that point, I realized she’d snuck that same dress onto me, when it pulled me up right along with her. Didn’t quite bonk us into the ceiling. Not that I would have noticed, because Saffron and I were lost in each others eyes and mouths. Eyes wide open kisses weren’t my normal thing, but now and then they hit right. Watched her pupils dilate, felt her smile as I’m sure mine did the same. Or rather, that she saw that vast vista inside my eyes that she’d shown me once.

When we settled to the ground, she smiled softly and said, ”go, love. It’ll be good for you, to get some stability, some structure.”

”Teaching tomorrow?” She nodded. ”Can you bring the kids around? I’m worried with me being Shaping impaired.”

”Of course, love. I think you might want me along in any rate tomorrow.”

”Why?”

Her smile got a little less soft, but no less warm. ”I know you know the basic concepts of Mor-Mimic Calculations, and you certainly have an intuitive grasp of them, but I don’t think you’d feel comfortable teaching them just yet.”

”Whoa. Some of the kids are on to those?”

”Ria, certainly. Some of the others might want to try as well.”

I don’t know what happened just then, but the next moment I was crying. Holding her, crying, and she whispered, ”shall I tell Karen you won’t be joining her this evening?”

I shook my head, pulled Saffron along with me to my Altar, my tears still flowing freely. ”I’m not... Not sad. Seriously, guys.” I swept my gaze across my Worshippers. ”Hey, everybody. I know most of you know what happened last week. The... The Spartans.” I remembered the joy turning to panic, and guilt rushed through me that any of them had wound up injured, or dead, or fuck, even just had their day ruined, because I wasn’t smart enough or fast enough or... Well, I guess I was strong enough in the end. ”I’m still kind of recovering from something that happened dealing with all that. I want to be here with you guys tonight, but I’m not sure I’m up for giving any single one of you the attention you deserve.”

Karen stepped over to where I stood before my Altar, Saffron kneeling on it behind me, her hands on my shoulders, still wearing the Yandere Shobitch Wedding Gown. She smiled as she wrapped her arms around me and lay her head on my chest. ”Goddess. Silly Goddess. Being here with us is always enough.”

”It’s not... I want to give you more. All of you.”

”And you shall, Goddess. What... If you are not able to partake of our communion with you, perhaps?”

I took a deep breath. ”I can’t promise anything, but I’ll try?”

”Would you share something with us? If you can?”

I looked around the room. Without my conscious volition, I’d looped a tentacle around everyone in the room. Some hands, some waists, some legs. None of them really lewd, but all of them some kind of intimate embrace. Totally blew my fuckin’ mind that every one in the room seemed to be touching them in a kind of ecstatic religious awe. ”If I can.”

”Why were you crying when you arrived?”

I smiled, because those tears absolutely had not been tears of sadness. ”I... When I arrived in Phileo, I knew things could be better. When we founded the Alliance,” I pulled Saffron to me. ”We set out to make things better.” I pulled Karen close to me, tugged on everyone with my tentacles without really realizing I was doing it, it, or realizing why. ”When we took this Temple, we started to put that into motion in a way I didn’t think I’d ever really see. I...” I looked around, realized that there were no kids in the room, but some of the people reminded me a lot of the kids I taught. Parents, aunts, uncles, siblings, cousins, family. ”The kids...”

”The Children live,” my Kitten whispered it first, but it susurrated through the room, every person there smiling, even the ones like Jack the bartender, who really wasn’t a kid person. Even he knew what that meant, not even he was immune to the impact.

But I shook my head, because while that was what drew me out of that post-Yule funk, that still wasn’t what had set off the waterworks tonight. ”The kids are learning.”

I tugged a little at Hannah, the Priestess in charge of the school here at the Temple of Love, and she practically danced up into our little embrace at the Altar. ”The Children thrive, Goddess.” I nodded, my tears flowing again. ”Because of you.”

I shook my head, but before anybody could argue, whispered out, ”because of us. All of us. Me. You. Every one of us focused on making the world a better place for them, on teaching them to take the next steps, the ones we’re not ready to take yet.”

”Us.” The whisper came back, and I saw way more sparkling eyes than dry ones, and even those who weren’t crying were smiling. Then they started singing. Soft, and low, and as inexorable as a glacier, as an advancing wall of lava, as an avalanche. I smiled as I realized how many people in the room were what I’d thought of uncharitably as ’ugly’ when I first took the Temple. Same people, but with joy and hope in them, the ugliness vanished not unlike Murder Mittens’ creepiness once I’d seen past it.

My people were a flood, a mudslide washing away the fuckin’ pyramid of shit and leaving something... Not ’clean’, per se, but something where things could grow.

They also managed to turn that fuckin’ seven syllable prank into a hymn, into a lullaby, into an ode to joy that I let flow through the whole fuckin’ room, rebounding back into me and out to them once more.

Kinda jarring when at some point well after midnight, well before dawn, somebody knocked on the door kinda hard. Not rude, not like Lemmy, but really solid.

I reached out, lifting myself up just enough to see the doors. ”Hello? We’re having a Revel here.” That’s when I saw who’d been knocking. ”Uh... Did you want to join?”

Furtim Cauda... She didn’t flow like Larry or Marie. It was something closer to Lachlan’s linebacker strut, although in her case I think part of that was just her being so fuckin’ big. I mean, the rest of the Trolls, the boy-Trolls, I guess, were around seven feet, and they came up to the bottom of her chest.

I did not expect her to say, ”yes.”

The crowd had been taking their cues from me, and right then I realized that they had no fuckin’ idea what I’d said to her, nor what she’d replied. None of them spoke Troll. ”Uh, okay. You wanna sing? I mean, I’m sure some of the folks in the congregation tonight wanted a little action. Not that you’d be a little anything. No offense intended, but you are a lot of she-Troll.”

She’d looked a little confused as I talked to her, but at that last she puffed up a little and smiled. ”I am!” Everybody looked a little scared at that, so I gave them a little squeeze to comfort them. They all settled into a kind of wary acceptance, like they weren’t super sanguine about a ten foot tall lizard woman in their midst, but were willing to accept her if I was. Okay, I was in intimate contact with most of the congregation, and I would absolutely be lying if I said there weren’t at least a few prospective monsterfuckers considering their chances of interacting with Furtim’s scaly cloaca or whatever Trolls did the deed with.

I might be lying if I said I wasn’t curious myself.

Of course that’s when she smiled shyly, stepped forward and reached not for my hand, but for Karen’s, and knelt. Still as tall as Karen kneeling. Taller, really. But she managed to look like a supplicant as she said, ”I wish to take the Trials, to become High Priestess of the Legate.”

Yeah. Did not expect that.