Diary of a Teenaged Mimic

Dear Diary,

At some point when things settle down for a bit...

Holy shit I cannot believe I said those words with my own brain mouth. Like, the closest I’ve gotten to ’peace and quiet’ or ’settled down’ since Isnomi got kidnapped a year and a half ago is the two months I spent amnesiac. I’m pretty sure that required Ria’s Blessing to implement, too, which does not bode well for a life of peace and tranquility. I guess maybe if Saffron and I manage to get word out about who and what I am, and that I really will end any motherfuckers who try to hurt me or mine or, I guess, anybody who could in any way be considered ’friendly’ to me, we might get something like a reprieve.

I’m not naïve. I know there are some motherfuckers out there whose whole identity is built around being the biggest baddest asses on the block, and laying down the law like that is just flypaper for that particular flavor of freak. Sparta and Ares both spring to mind. Honestly, I think I even understand why they can’t just back down, either. I saw it happen back in the day with some of the guys who decided to go the gang route. Not all of them, mind you, but there’s a certain kind of dude who can’t understand the difference between fear and respect, so they just do their dead level best to terrify everyone around them.

Yeah, I get it, pot, kettle, whatever, but I’ve never really tried to terrify Saffron, or Isnomi, or Marie. I mean, okay, I’ve kinda done the amusement park thrill ride of that shit with Siobhan, and I’m pretty sure I remember at least once when I popped off verbally on Larry that it vaporized Saffron’s panties despite the general humidity in her crotch region at the time. That’s not the same thing as terrifying them into a constant state of fearful obedience though. Which is what Sparta has done, I think. They don’t just terrify their enemies, they terrify their own allies. I think the Spartan Heroes probably terrify each other a little bit, or at least do their best to do so.

Thing is, if somebody’s got an enemy who terrifies them and that enemy approaches with an open hand, saying they’ve learned better, there’s a chance that they’ll do the trust but verify thing. Or maybe just take it as a moment to breathe, since the Big Bad has decided not to attack them today. But if the domestic abuser shows a moment of weakness? I’ve seen way too many dudes, or even ladies catch a shiv the moment their victims thought they could get away with it.

So yeah, I’m not gonna step in and recommend mercy for the rapist slavers because of some wrongheaded notion that they had a tiger by the tail and couldn’t stop. After all, they’re the ones who annoyed the tiger and grabbed it by the tail. To the best of my knowledge not once have they tried to back down, to let those tigers go free. If anything, they’ve doubled down. So no, I’m not gonna tell Saffron to hold back unless I think it’s hurting her more than them. But I understand them.

Along with the groups and even individuals too tied up with being badasses to back down, though, there’s also the dumbasses who for some stupid reason think that I could never happen to them. That their cocks are too special to ever be ripped off and rammed up their own asses. That their necks are too tough for the sudden stop to snap, their skin too thick for Madame G to cleave. Despite some apparent external similarities in terms of overall appetites, I really do not get that type. I mean, yeah, I might strut around looking all big and bad, but most of it is really just an act to scare off the assholes, maybe convince them to take the Route of Lancaster and Ophelia rather than the Route of Morrigan and Oliver, y’know?

Still, if at some point in the near or distant future I get a chance to sit down with Saffron and Siobhan, it might be a good idea to figure out what the hell is up with, y’know, me. My physical body, for all that is kind of a weird mix of the physical and mystical. Like, why am I furry when my Blend is down? Why can I hover in M-Space, but more or less obey the Laws of Physics as they are here and now in the Mortal Realm? What makes it so I can stay upright for days after not just getting a fuckin’ lung piercing, but letting my Kitten slip her arm through it in a bloody simulated sex act, but pass out after staying awake too long or channeling too much Mana or, like yesterday, carrying myself halfway across the Alliance via M-Space.

Why is it so hard for me to pick myself up?

Passed out surrounded by my ladies and our local guests in the Bedroom. Woke up in our big round sleeping bed in the Homestead. By the squish pressed into my back, the arms around me belonged to Saffron. By the claws and fuzz on the arms around her, the pair around Lily, who lay in front of me facing me, belonged to my Murder Mittens. Not long after I woke up, Lily’s eyes shot open. She glanced down at Marie’s claws, then back up to me. ”I still like men!” she hissed.

The absurdity of it made me smile. Dire Bears and existential threats rising from under the surface of Erie, and the most classically beautiful woman I’ve met here and now is fixated on ’not being Gay’. I chuckled, but couldn’t help but take pity on her, just a little bit. ”You’re allowed to like both, y’know.”

She glanced around the room, moving nothing but her eyes. I’m pretty sure she looked at Saffron, and I heard the quiet sounds of Siobhan snores from behind my Kitten. ”You don’t.”

I snorted quietly. ”Who do you think took the first ride on Saffron as a dude?”

Surprise raced across her face, then she frowned. ”I meant real men!” Then she glanced away. ”But she was nice.”

”Nice? Huh. Never really thought to describe her as ’nice’. ’Sexual avalanche’, or maybe ’ride of a lifetime’, but never ’nice’.”

Lily shrugged. ”Still not, y’know, a real man.”

I rolled my eyes. ”Yeah, she’s a woman shapeshifted into a man. Which, y’know, if all you’re looking for is muscles and cock and general dude-ness in a lover, that’s good enough. If you’re looking for somebody to lift heavy objects and reach tall shelves, Marie’s got the latter and I’m not half bad at the former. So, y’know, don’t see the need to keep one around twenty four by seven.” I lifted my fingers to Lily’s lips to forestall another outburst, then quietly said, ”but if you want a dude to come home to at night, or to come home to you? That’s your choice. Seriously, I don’t think less of you for your preferences. I just...” I trailed off and sighed. ”I kinda hoped we were friends, sorta, and I’d hate to see a friend getting all twisted around in her own head because she’s always thought of herself as straight, and then one day she has a deep and abiding need for the girl she’s looking at. Shit, at one point I spent a whole fuckin’ Season tied in knots kinda like that, and I wouldn’t wish that shit on my own worst enemy, let alone somebody I’d like to call a friend.”

In what I’d come to realize was just typical Lily non-sequitur, she closed her eyes, sniffed, and her tongue darted out to touch my fingers. ”Why do you smell so good? Why do you taste so good?”

Look, I’m only Human Adjacent, and I’m not kidding when I say Lily was absolutely the complete classic beauty package. I leaned forward to close the gap, pulled my hand down, and breathed out, ”if my fingers taste so good, wanna try the rest of me?”

It’s weird, but I think I’m becoming a sort of connoisseur of not quite human tongues. Okay, I haven’t had all that many in my mouth, but Lily’s was definitely not Human. It wasn’t Murder Mittens’ big wide scratchy cat tongue, either. Her kiss left my own lips and tongue feeling kinda clumsy and blunt. She didn’t complain, though, just kept up a kind of curious whine, like she wanted to deny what she was doing, feeling, tasting, but couldn’t stop herself. When her hands wandered, I Translocated us both to the Bed, then gently but firmly pulled away from her. ”We don’t have to do this if you don’t want.”

She kinda whined at me and tried to lunge back to me, and I got a rush of maybe brains to the head. I switched to full on boy mode and asked, ”or I could do this, if it would make you feel better?”

She got the weirdest booger look and whined out, ”switch. Back.” I did, and when I still held her back she whimpered, ”please?”

Good enough. Due diligence done. I pinged out a quick mental, Kitten? Mittens? Happening! before Lily’s lips and tongue took away my ability to think clearly. Given her obvious preference for dudes, I’m sure she doesn’t have, like, Kitten or Mittens level skills, but she’s got some Phelps-like unfair natural advantages. Not even sure if I liked them or not, but they were certainly different. Did not wake up expecting to have my cervix licked, for example, but there we were. Also, I’m kinda used to the bigger partner being on the bottom doing that. Just kinda feels right, I dunno. And while she’s taller than me by a solid margin, I’m definitely bigger, what with all the muscles. But Lily made her preference for being pinned in place very clear, and I’m nothing if not an accommodating host, especially when hosting a hottie exploring her Sapphic drives for the first time in what I suspected was a longer life than she looked.

She reminded me of myself when, as we lay there enjoying the afterglow, she said, ”now the other way.” Took me a second and a bit of fumbling before I realized she meant, y’know, boy mode me. As we lay there after a couple different rounds with me like that, she frowned at me from the crook of my arm. ”Why do you taste like that?”

I shrugged. ”No clue. Seriously. Not something I do on purpose, I promise.”

”I still like men,” she pouted.

I took her hand in mine, ran it down my currently boobless chest, then further down to take a firm grip on the wedding tackle. ”Yeah, I get that.”

She pulled her hand back, making fists and holding them to her chest. ”You feel like a man, but you’re not one.”

I shrugged and went back to normal. ”I mean, I’m a little gender fluid, but yeah, the pronouns are she and her, and I’m a daughter and a mother. So if you want to call me a woman, I’m not gonna get bent out of shape by it.” I snickered. ”Shit, you should meet my dad.” At her raised eyebrow, I said, ”dude spent like a year as a Mare. Had a baby that way. But even though he can do the same thing I do, he’s definitely a dude.”

”If you say so.” She snuggled in to me, but couldn’t seem to get comfortable.

I had another sudden surge of inspiration and dropped my Blend. ”Is this comfier for you?” I realized right then that she’d frozen, gone completely tharn. ”Lily? Are you okay?”

”Take me,” she whispered. I hesitated, and again she whispered, ”please.”

My Blend staying down, I carefully rolled atop her. ”Like this?” I switched to boy mode. ”Or like this?”

”Yes. Please. Now.”

Oh, no. The hottest of young singles in my area wanted me twice more. Whatever was I to do? I mean the answer was, of course, Lily, twice. Afterward she seemed... still unable to get comfy, but no longer paralyzed with fear. I pulled a couple of the pillows over to prop her up with as I rolled off of her, trying to get her settled, but she still stayed just that tiny bit tense. Trying to recreate the position she’d been in with Marie, I rolled her over so her back was to me, my arms slipping around her to hold her to me. She settled, but never quite relaxed.

”Do you want to go back to the other bed?”

She shrugged. We lay there like that for a while, and then a thought hit me. I tried to dismiss it, but it kept gnawing at me until I couldn’t help but let it out.

”You still awake?” She nodded. I took a deep breath and went as loose as I could. ”Did you just have sex with me so I’d protect you?” She went tense, and I asked, ”well, you and your people?”

”Of course,” she muttered in the same tone she kept using to declare her love of men. ”Why else?”

”I thought you maybe thought I tasted nice? Or thought it might be fun? Or feel good?”

She just shrugged, like none of that was important.

”Shit. You didn’t need to do that. I’d already said that. I’m gonna protect them. I’m gonna protect you and Rabbit, as much as I can. Not because we’ve swapped bodily fluids, either. But because that’s who I am.” I wound down, trying not to be mad, trying not to feel... used.

”This... makes me feel better. Safer. It is who I am.”

I thought about that for a second. ”Is it who you want to be?” She shrugged, and I sighed. ”Did you enjoy it, at least? If you found yourself with an itch that needed scratching, or a jones for pumpkin pie spice coating your entire tongue, would you maybe think, ’oh, hey, I should go visit Tabitha, because she rings my bell in a way I’d like it rung at the moment’?”

She sighed, then let out a little chuckle and squirmed around until she lay facing me, her hands tucked between us. She kept wriggling until my hands slipped down to her ass, which while not as pleasantly squish as my Kitten’s, was still a pleasant double handful. Then I nosed her and wriggled until she unclenched her hands and settled them on my breasts. She looked up at me and whispered, ”my entire tongue? What would that be like, I wonder?”

Yeah. She, uh, found out. Haven’t been quite that stretched since accommodating Lachlan and Carruthers at once. As the sun came up I caught a Kitten giggle in my brain as Saffron thought, quite an experience, isn’t she?

So you guys did the deed while I was out cold?

You seemed to need the sleep, and we were trying to be the best hosts we could. She snickered again. I think Siobhan disappointed her. At my interrogative mental grunt, she thought, after a Hero and a Maenad, I think she expected someone... stronger. She likes being overpowered, I think. Likes knowing her partner is stronger than she is.

That reminded me, and as Lilly finished up and snuggled up next to me again, I thought, she thinks she has to do this for us to protect her. To protect her people.

I know, love. I heard the echo of my own sad frustration in my Kitten’s mental voice. I hope someday she can enjoy our company without those ulterior motives. Or even that she can accept our friendship and protection without the bedroom games. But that will take time, I think. She is who she is.

She said it makes her feel safer.

There may have been a time I felt that way.

That stunned me. With me?

No, love. Not with you. But I haven’t always been a Hero, as well you know.

Yeah. Yeah, I guess I get it. Doesn’t feel any better though.

No. No it does not. Would you like to come join us for breakfast?

I nudged Lily a little. ”You hungry?” She nodded, and I rolled us to Saffron’s side, plonking our clothes back on as I did. Lily stumbled a little and looked surprised, but shortly thereafter we hit the dining room, and not long after that Marie’s waffles made everything better for everyone.

As we sat there noshing, and I took the opportunity to get some morning hugs from my ladies, I poked Saffron with a thought. Uh, did Rabbit?

Saffron smiled serenely at me while snickering and accepting some waffle from a blushing Siobhan. It seems our Ice Pop met her needs quite nicely.

Go Ice Pop! I leaned in to give her a kiss on the cheek before settling in to nom as many waffles as Marie would bring me. As I paused to enjoy the aftertaste, I looked over at Saffron. ”So, uh, what morning is it?”

”Saturnday, love.” At my sudden panicked half leap to my feet, she waved me back down, laughing. ”It’s fine, love. I’ve already spoken with Headmaster Miles, your classes are covered for the next two days at least. Also, we’ve brought half of the active Senior Cadets up from Phileo. Officially as a ’graduation exercise’ for those planning to move to other Cities. A dozen Heroes are on their way as well. Lachlan, Larry, and Linus should arrive today as well.”

”Don’t know what they’re gonna do,” I grumbled. Then I shook my head. ”Like, I appreciate the support, but if another of those Mega-Bears pops out of Erie...”

”I’ve taken the time over the past two days to do some scouting, love.” At my worried look, she said, ”I took Marie and Closer with me. The energy you released slaying ’Mega Bear’ is dispersing rapidly, although much of it is flowing toward the northeastern end of the lake. Which,” she paused, taking another bite of waffle soaked in cream and honey before continuing. ”The exceptionally large bears all had... outsized Auras, even for their great size. Almost like something had force grown them that large.”

I nodded. ”Makes sense. Still not copacetic about the troops up here getting in the way of another one.”

She rolled her eyes. ”If you’d let me finish, while whatever protected whatever’s in the water down there from our Divination reasserted itself yesterday afternoon, while it remained down I managed to detect a plethora of point sources of Mana. Many smaller Auras, not a single large one.”

”So... no more Mega-Bears?”

”It appears not. However,” she paused for a bite, and I finished her thought.

”A bunch more littler ones.”

”Exactly.”

”Any idea how many?”

She frowned. ”Too many for me to count before the Divination protection reasserted itself.”

I ate for a bit, just thinking about that information. ”You think I should take Vulcan and just nuke whatever it is from orbit?”

She pondered that for nearly as long. ”It would be safer, at least in the short run. I’m not certain it would work, not without damaging the life in and around the lake even more than your previous strike. Besides...” She went quiet, thinking, and I just let her ponder. I knew which of us could ponder faster. Besides, right about then I got to watch Menace scramble into Lily’s lap and insist on sharing her latest score of berry topped pancakes. Menace’s pancakes that she was sharing with a guest, not the other way around. Eventually Saffron cleared her throat. ”A single huge Bear makes sense for attempting to attack an enemy. A larger number of smaller bears might be a panicked defensive response.”

”So... if whatever this is is scared?”

She nodded. ”That means it might be intelligent enough to talk. To negotiate. To surrender. Which, if I remember correctly, is something you said you’d prefer?”

At that point Rabbit cleared her throat, and we both turned to look at her. ”That... thing. It will not surrender. It is not afraid. It is angry. Furious, since you stopped its last creation before it even left the lake.”

Saffron just nodded. ”That was another possibility I’ve considered. If that’s the case? Then we’ve made it so enraged it’s become stupid. Begun using resources better suited to defense in an effort to overwhelm our defenses. If it is that angry? Let it come.”

Holy shit but my Kitten taking that tone made me want to do just that. Not the time or place, though, because, y’know, guests, breakfast, kids, plus getting the Homestead ready to base a chunk of the Alliance Armed Forces out of, however temporarily. That put a thought in my head. ”We putting any non-Heroic troops in the field this time?”

Saffron shook her head. ”Against monsters of this size, they’d be a defense of desperation, and we are not yet that desperate. I’m pulling the Dragon Slayers in to Lancaster House, the Rosen Homestead, and the Rider Mines. Should any single Dire Bears get past us, they and the Maenads in Lancaster lands will assist with tracking it down.”

I nodded. ”So... anything I can do while we wait?”

Saffron thought about for like half a second before nodding. ”Let Olga know we may need to move back her coronation? New Years Day if we’ve dealt with this situation, the first day after it is resolved if not?”

I frowned. Pouted, even. ”I really hope this shit doesn’t push the wedding back.”

”You’ve arranged a day then?”

”Well, no, but I was thinking right after New Years. Like within a couple weeks at most.” I turned to Marie, ”That is, if you can have the dress and tuxes done by then?”

Marie blushed and nodded, and Saffron said, ”well then. Why don’t you stop by and let the Headmaster know as well?”

”Okay. Sounds like a plan. Anything else while I’m out?”

She nodded. ”See if Olga can spare any Jotnar familiar with butchering large animals. Whales, perhaps?”

I chuckled. ”You’re really planning on eating that thing?”

She smiled a self-deprecating smile. ”If you’ve ever not known where your next meal will come from, the urge not to waste good food is strong.”

So once breakfast wound down, Siobhan and Saffron said farewell to our guests and gave hugs and kisses to the kids and Marie and me before they left for the day. I made sure Rabbit and Lily were cool hanging around the Homestead with our kids and Marie, not to mention making it really clear that if they wanted to head home, they were welcome to. Guests, not prisoners or anything like it. Rabbit seemed surprised that I felt the need to say anything, but Lily looked relieved.

I stepped down to the Headmaster’s office, confirmed he was good with us using the Practice Yard on the eighth of Fairin, which was the second Friday after New Years. Kinda surprised me when he said, ”Thank you for arranging for Lord Lancaster to fill in for you while you’re dealing with the Dire Bear situation.”

”Hey, no worries.” Kitten? Was that you?

Duh.

Thanks, Kitten. Love you.

Love you too, Goof.

Got my ass out of his office before I gave the game away, then hopped down to Norfolk. Met Olga sitting on a hillside overlooking the harbor.

”Hey, how’s it going, Princess? You feeling ready for some new headgear?”

She smiled down at me. ”Here I thought you’d forgotten.”

”Nope. Barring the Dire Bear issues taking longer than we’d like, we’re set for New Years.”

She sighed and nodded. ”I like the idea of my reign starting on the first day of the year. New beginnings. Besides,” she smirked down at me. ”Nobody’s going to be in a bad mood after traditional New Years’ celebrations.”

I laughed and shook my head. ”I gotta ask. You and Svart. How?”

She smiled the serene smile of a woman who had zero doubt she could have her bell fully rung for the asking. ”My man is an expert spelunker.”

That got me. When I finished laughing, glad she’d been chuckling right alongside me, I said, ”hey, you got any Jotnar who know how to butcher really, really big animals?”

She thought for half a second. ”Like whales? We don’t often. Bad luck to hunt them. But... there are a few.”

”Any of them familiar with butchering bears?”

She laughed. ”I thought you said big?”

”I did.” I stared at her until her laughter faded.

”Really?”

”Oh, fuck yes. Big enough I’m not sure they’ll be able to get it all chopped up and frozen or salted or whatever before the weather turns.”

She frowned. ”I’ll gather them, but.. the ones I’m thinking of aren’t really fighters.”

I shook my head. ”No need. Let the Alliance Army take care of that. All they gotta do is process the meat afterward.”

”Okay then. I’ll have them gathered up and ready to go... Moonday?”

I shrugged. ”If I can’t come get them that day, I’ll send Marie, okay?”

After that we just sat there and shot the shit for a bit. She’d had to put a couple Jarls down hard when they started talking about ’visiting Calverton’ to ’bring their wayward Thralls back’. Between the choices of ’decorating Olga’s boot sole until she scraped them off’ and ’paying Johnson a visit to see how he ran things’, it seemed like most of the remaining Jarls chose the path of not becoming sudden tartare. She even invited me into the longhouse for lunch; after confirming that neither Saffron nor Siobhan would be back to the Homestead for lunch, I accepted. Fish and flatbread and gravy, mostly, although they had some kind of rice as well. Olga had a lot of that. I guess feeding somebody that big on the regular meant shit you could make job lots of.

After lunch, Olga took me back out to her hillside roost, which seemed like a favored spot of hers. ”I miss my father.”

”What? Did he?”

She chuckled. ”Oh, no. He’s just settled in at that little village on the far side of the Bay from Calverton. He’s practically a Calvertonite by now. I think Calvert gave him an honorary citizenship and everything.”

”If he’s too tired to make the trip, I could ferry him down.”

She shrugged. ”I might ask you to do that. Or to take me up there. Or maybe I’ll get off my ass and visit him. It’s a day trip, not an epic journey.” She sighed, the motion just as big as everything else about her. ”I could use him for cadre for our new Academy though.”

”I thought you’d had some troubles with that?”

She nodded. ”We can’t exactly do as others have done.” When I cocked my head, she waved at herself. ”Even before I learned to fight, I had something of an advantage.”

I shrugged. ”Fuck it. You’ve got more clear space than most of our Cities. Go horizontal.” She returned my confused look. ”Make your Academy a single story. Don’t bother making it a fortress. Just longhouses of various sizes for your various sized Cadets, and fuck it, have your classes outside. Or have big classrooms. It’s your Academy. Norfolk’s Academy. Do it Norfolk style.”

She got a little lost in thought at that. ”Norfolk Style, huh?”

As the sun lowered to the west, Saffron pinged me. Tabitha?

Yeah, Kitten?

Are you ready to move out?

We got a location on our opposition?

Our forward scouting Heroes and Senior Cadets have reported in. Dire Bears are emerging from ’Erie’.

How many?

Dozens at a minimum. Possibly hundreds. Per my orders, our scouts fell back in good order to our perimeter.

I’m on my way.