Demonic Pornstar System

Chapter 874: Legality

”Yeah, yeah. You’ll take your ’hopes’ to Beijing,” the Chairman said flatly. ”Or Tokyo. Or whoever else is first in line. Yes. We understand.”

”What? No.” Kaiden blinked at him, and the innocence in his expression could have won an award. ”I was going to say I’d write a very strongly worded blog post about you people.”

”Pfft!” Grace pressed her hand to her mouth.

The scribe’s pen didn’t move for a solid two seconds.

The Chairman stared at the young man across the table, the young man who had just offered the most strategically valuable research access on the planet, extracted a prize package worth hundreds of millions, leveraged the Association against his own father’s guild, secured federal legal backing for years of incoming litigation - after all, he didn’t specify that he only expects them to help against New Dawn and Magnus - and framed the entire thing as a charitable donation with an angrily typed blog post as the only threatened consequence, and he hadn’t made a single demand the entire time.

Not one.

Every sentence had been a hope, an offer, a gesture of goodwill from a generous young guild leader who only wanted what was best for humanity and the United States, and the Chairman recognized, with the grim clarity of thirty years in politics, that this young man might’ve just been a worse psychopath than his damned mother.

Vespera hadn’t said a word the entire time.

Her lips merely moved further and further up, until she looked like the proudest, most unhinged mama bear to have ever existed.

The Chairman closed his eyes for one full second, then opened them and found the next item on his agenda.

Decades in politics had taught him when to pretend the last ten minutes hadn’t cost him anything.

”There’s the matter of your classification. You’re registered as F-tiers.”

”Indeed, we are,” Kaiden’s smile hadn’t dimmed as he nodded. ”It hasn’t been more than a few months since we tested ourselves.”

The unsaid part of those words was loud and clear. ’By law, you can’t demand that we retest ourselves for many more months. You’re asking for even more concessions, Mr. Chairman.’

”...Are you willing to submit yourselves for a retest of your awakened designation?” The Chairman clarified with a vein throbbing on his forehead.

”An outdated classification doesn’t serve anyone,” Kaiden replied ambiguously.

Grace saw that her boss was looking more and more ready to slap the smugness out of the man sitting in front of him, so she took over.

”The Association would like to conduct a bit more than just a retest, Kaiden.”

”Hmm?” Kaiden continued smiling, changing his focus from the Chairman to Grace.

She sighed before saying even more, understanding fully the game he was playing.

”A comprehensive medical evaluation. Frankly speaking, everything about you falls outside every model we have for human awakened. There are voices - loud and important ones - in this country who’re asking whether you’re still entirely human.”

”That is indeed troublesome.” Kaiden nodded nonchalantly. ”But luckily, we have nothing to hide.”

Both of them waited, knowing it was time for the next ’hope’.

”All we’d ask is that each test get pre-approved by Miss Guild Regent.”

There it was.

The Chairman looked past Kaiden to Vespera, and Vespera met his gaze with a smile so professionally warm that the Chairman could already feel the requisition forms piling up on his desk.

Grace winced.

She’d be the one filing those forms past the Shadow Monarch.

”...Fine,” the Chairman said, because he was picking his battles now and this one cost less than the ones coming next.

”Wonderful.” The halo was back at full brightness. ”Since you’ve asked a deeply personal request from me, I would like to bring up a hope of my own.”

The Chairman’s hand paused on his water glass.

Kaiden finally spoke as ’I,’ not ’we’. This could only mean one thing. Since they were making more personal requests of him now, it was time to reap personal benefits as well.

”Under current policy, all dungeons on US soil are federal assets licensed to guilds. The Association retains the authority to reassign, revoke, or seize access at any time.”

Kaiden tilted his head. ”My dungeon is bound to me, a human, a legal US citizen, not a boss monster. Using your tests, should I prove myself to truly be a human and not some terrible alien, I’d like my dungeon declared sovereign territory under Eclipse’s jurisdiction.”

Grace’s pen snapped in half.

The scribe looked up.

The Chairman set both hands flat on the table, leaned forward, and the politeness left his voice entirely.

”Sovereign.” He let the words sit. ”No guild in the history of this Association has held sovereign rights over a dungeon.”

”No man has ever owned a dungeon like I do.”

”You’re basically asking to establish an embassy on US soil not as a foreign nation but-”

”As humanity’s first ever true dungeon master.”

He wasn’t smiling anymore.

The halo had burned out and the warmth went with it.

The saintly performance that had made Grace’s skin crawl was over, and what sat across from them now was the real Kaiden Grey.

The Chairman found, to his considerable discomfort, that this version was easier to deal with.

The saint had been unbearable. This one at least had the decency to look like what he was.

A shameless bastard who knew exactly his worth and options.

”The licensing framework is the legal foundation for every dungeon operation in this country,” the Chairman said. ”You’re asking me to punch a hole in it.”

”I’m asking you to update it.” No warmth, no wrapping. ”The framework was built for dungeons owned by monsters and managed by humans. Mine has a human owner. If your tests confirm that, the paperwork should follow.”

The Chairman held his gaze for three seconds. ”Your wish is noted. What else.”

He wanted the full list before he started negotiating.

”The entities in my dungeon are classified as hostile under United States law. My adorable new puppy, for example. How can I possibly take him out for a walk calmly like this?”

”...” Everyone save for a certain mother was speechless at the utter nonsense they were hearing.

Kaiden wasn’t bothered, however. ”And my many other cute underlings. Any of them can be legally targeted or hunted. In fact, Pebble being outside could be considered a dungeon break, as far as legalities are concerned. Hell, one could even argue that me being outside is technically a dungeon break that gives all awakened beings full legal rights to attack me, invade my home, and do whatever they want to ’end’ the ’threat.’”

Kaiden held the man’s gaze as he announced, no longer speaking in hopes and dreams:

”This cannot stand any longer, Mister Chairman.”