Dead on Mars

Chapter 118 - Sol Hundred and Fourteen, Disqualified as a Human Being
Late into the night.

Tang Yue sat on a chair wrapped in clothes and blankets. The white mist he breathed out swirled under the dim light.

He began his second attempt. This time he didn’t dare use too many seeds. As an experimental planting, he only used two. He was afraid of any spontaneous deaths using one, while two could guarantee a sufficient number of samples.

The two seeds were inside the cassette box, the hotbed that Tang Yue had specially prepared himself. They were to produce two brand new lives.

These two newborn sprouts would pave the way for their brothers and sisters.

The final outcome was hard to tell, but there was a high chance of failure.

Tang Yue had no way to provide better living conditions. Tang Yue had treated the previous batch of tomato sprouts like the apple of his eye; yet, they failed to survive.

He had decided that if the two tomato sprouts were to die again, he would stop throwing them to their death.

As cells that had luckily survived this Universe, he did not have the right, nor was he willing to rob the lives of these living beings.

It was better to leave the two seeds of life behind for the Universe.

Otherwise, it would be too lonely.

Mai Dong had already gone to sleep, and there was no one on the communications system. Kunlun Station was very quiet. Taking the opportunity that his mind was still sharp, Tang Yue recalled his entire life.

Typically, this was something only elders would do. They would sit in their proverbial coffins recalling their lives, regardless of whether it was happiness or regret. They wouldn’t take all the beautiful and sorrowful past with them to their graves.

After all, Tang Yue was halfway in the grave. The only regret he had was that he hadn’t lived long enough, and the memories he had were just too few. The distant memories were fuzzy, and the recent experiences were too bland.

Tang Yue felt a little regret not engaging in fights or punching the headmaster back when he was schooling.

Look at the lives of those young people on the silver screen, which one of them hadn’t been in a fight? Which girl had never had an abortion?

Was a youth without fighting or abortion considered a youth?

As Tang Yue engaged in his warped thoughts, he recalled a middle school classmate who had been extremely gungho. He had a passionate relationship with a particular girl from the same grade which eventually developed into an elopement. He had stolen his father’s credit card, got on a train with the young lady, and escaped hundreds of miles away. It was practically a modern-day version of Romeo and Juliet.

It obviously ended with them being brought back by the police.

Back when he watched the young couple sob on-stage, Tang Yue was deriding them for their sinful act whilst eyeing the most beautiful girl from the neighboring class.

In his youth, Tang Yue had never had any young girls fancy him. He believed that with his temper, he was bound to be someone who didn’t accept the authoritative actions his parents or school would put on him. He would stand up to them with an unrelenting stance.

He finished recounting his life from the age of eight to twenty-two in five minutes.

He was taken aback.

Holy sh*t, that was way too fast, right?

Fourteen years were finished in five minutes? Could it be that his life was really dull and boring?

Hence, Tang Yue recalled his life experiences again, doing so in detail, no matter how trivial they were.

Therefore, it took him eight minutes this time.

“Should I write a will? It’s about time.”

Tang Yue sat up straight, stretched his wrists, and got a pen from a drawer.

Being prepared with a will allowed him to sit pretty.

It was best that he wrote it while he was still mobile and lucid. He didn’t wish to write when his mind was turbid, producing chicken scratches that no one could recognize.

“Dear Miss Mai Dong, Dear Tomcat—if you are still alive,

“This letter is my farewell to this world.”

Tang Yue muttered as he wrote.

“I don’t know who will see this letter. Perhaps it will be you, Tomcat, or perhaps it might be some aliens. Or maybe, it will be an intelligent lifeform that’s born years into the future on Mars… It’s unlikely that will happen. This piece of paper won’t last that long.

“Mai Dong won’t see this letter, but none of you should show it to her. It’s because this letter doesn’t say anything nice.

“First, I would like to say to the world:

“F**K!

“Got that?

“F**K!

“You don’t know what it means? Let me translate it for you. FCUK is an acronym. Its full name is French Connection United Kingdom.

“Alright, that’s all I have to say to the world.

“Oh right, there’s another thing. The world, if you have any pittance of fairness, justice, and conscience, make sure that Mai Dong will be fine and safe.”

Tang Yue paused and continued writing.

“Next, Tomcat. Where are you? Please don’t tell me you really eloped with the Mars Wanderer. It’s not like you have anything. You can’t satisfy it…

“Tomcat, regardless if you are dead or alive, and if you are alive, I’ll definitely be dead when you see this letter.

“I’ll tell you where to find me. Head east thirty meters from the Eagle. My tomb is there, and I’ll be lying there. However, there won’t be anyone burying me. So if you wish to bury me, do me a favor, alright?

“Also, I might look unsightly. I might have to trouble you to be a mortuary cosmetologist. Help me look presentable. If I’m in the pit face down, please roll me over. Let me lie flat on my back. I just don’t feel safe with my ass pointing up. In addition, please raise my middle fingers—one of them points to the sky, the other to the land.

“That’s my final request for your help.”

Tang Yue paused.

He hadn’t finished writing the letter, but he wished to take a break… Certain words were just too heavy to write, so heavy that the weak pen tip couldn’t bear the weight.

“From the moment Earth vanished, the meaning to my existence might have vanished along with it. Whatever I do is pointless. One or two people cannot continue the human race, much less rebuild civilization. I can’t even complete the historical records of civilization. I can only repeat my fixed chores on a daily basis, numbly and indifferently waiting for death to descend upon me. In the words of Osamu Dazai in his best-selling novel, No Longer Human: Disqualified as a human being. I had now ceased utterly to be a human being.”

Tang Yue got up from the chair, leaning on the airlock hatch. He stared intently at the pen and paper on the desk.

If he had known that the Mars landing mission would lead to this, he wouldn’t have participated in it. Or perhaps he wouldn’t have stayed behind to wrap up the mission. He should have just evaporated along with Earth and Orion I. To disappear in an instant saved him the trouble of suffering through all of his predicaments.

How many sols had he spent alone on Mars since the Earth vanished?

All this time, he had been combating hunger, low temperatures, diseases, and loneliness. It was an unprecedented combat against dire straits in human history. And today, he might have reached his limit.

“Tomcat, I might really be attaining enlightenment this time.” Tang Yue’s fatigue slowly crept up as his eyelids became heavy as darkness enveloped him. “I wonder if I’ve accumulated enough merit to be conferred the title of Great Salvation Bodhisattva of Mars.”

Suddenly, the support he was leaning against was gone. Tang Yue plunged backward uncontrollably, jolting him out of his sleepiness. The airlock’s hatch had suddenly been opened by someone or something.

Immediately, he leaned onto a furry shoulder. The coldness it exuded left him trembling as a paw reached out to pat Tang Yue on the shoulder.

A familiar voice sounded behind him. It could be imagined that the fellow was smiling with its teeth gritted while panting heavily.

“It’s not enough… It’s still too early for that!”