Data-Driven Daoist

Huang Niuniu had recently bought a new set of wearables from a courtyard of undersea fishermen.

They hunted with spears and tridents whilst swimming under the cold waters. Their garbs, expensive though they might be, fit right in with Huang Niuniu’s preferred method of cultivation.

Of submerging herself in rivers to talk with wisps.

The only problem? The garbs were far more risque than she would have liked, if that was the right term to use.

They didn’t show skin, of course, that would be scandalous.

They simply clung tightly to the body, as opposed to her usual baggy clothes. After she put them on, it was as if someone had sucked out the air between the outfit and her skin.

They were made of some kind of frog beast’s skin. The texture was cool, smooth, silky, gelatinous, and she got the illusion her skin was getting better the more she wore it. As if being moisturised.

It had no defensive power.

But it was waterproof. It did an amazing job at keeping the cold out of her flesh. With it, she could stay in the water for half the night rather than just half an hour.

With it, she didn’t need to soak her normal sect robes either.

It was getting tiring, meditating while half submerged in a wisp-rich river, then either walking back soaked or taking the risk to change in nature.

She was no exhibitionist. So she never took that risk.

If Han’er peeked, she’d hit him a bit. Maybe only break a leg. Though strangely enough, he never did. What a boring specimen of a man. Letches in stories were always fat and ugly, but he was fat and cute. Maybe that’s why he broke the stereotype?

If someone else peeked? Might as well fight to the death or kill herself if she couldn’t.

Today, like every other day, she sat on the river floor cross-legged, only her nose, eyes, and hair above the water.

Breathe in, then out. With the rhythms of the Calm Before the Storm Breathing Technique.

She glowed. Starting from the tip of her now longer hair, to her skin, then flesh, bones, blood, viscera.

A human lamp. That’s what she was.

I am a human lamp.

She was like the star of the theatre. All eyes were on her. Be they bug or fish or frog.

The glow spread around her to the wisps in the water. They danced, taking in the radiance. They shone, too, giving her theirs.

Even with her eyes closed, she could see them all around her.

That blob of light? It was a centipede. The light it was eating? A larvae of some strange moth. Now dead. Now being digested.

Huang Niuniu liked wisps. But she was under no illusion that they were playing with each other. They did as their nature dictated, only they did it with more gusto as if bathing in her light made their nature more natural and more civil at the same time.

It was a strange notion.

But wisps liked her. They ate each other, not her. Only her light.

At first, she didn’t know the names of any of the wisps. But Han’er was smart. When she described their appearances, he would spout off name after name.

Firefly larvae, ostracods, dinoflagellates, bioluminescent fungi, bioluminescent bacteria, planaria, glow-worm, photobacterium, freshwater jellyfish, fungus gnat larvae, under-river spiders.

Maybe he was making up these names? Maybe he didn’t want to appear incompetent before her? Or maybe he was… just an idea man.

The riverbed roiled. The mud undulating with the movement of life underneath.

Shrimp and crayfish, each with a light glow of their own, appeared. They swam up alongside transparent baitfish. They nibbled on Huang Niuniu’s neck, feet, and palms, the only parts that showed skin that was below the water.

They cleaned the dead skin off her body. So maybe, in a sense, they were also eating her? But only the dead parts of her?

Like tiny, glowing ghosts, their movements left a fleeting trail of light in the water. Were they attracted by her warmth? The spiritual energy? Or the food of dead Niuniu-matter?

After the second bloodline awakening, her cultivation speed had increased. Like Han’er, she was now at a bottleneck. She hadn’t had any luck finding and according with a ‘river of wisps.’

So she was stuck.

But she still cultivated. Because Mistress Miao said so. The cat said it was stupid to think everyone had the exact same quality of True Qi, even if to level up, the ‘stan-dar-dised’ amounts were the same. She was so smart, maybe even more so than Han’er.

Huang Niuniu activated Wispcrafting Synthesis as she cultivated. The click of the feeling was distinct, like a jolt in the back of her neck all the way to the tip of her fingers. She knew it was working.

Nothing seemed to have changed at first.

Then more wisps started appearing. Bigger ones, like the crabs and spiders. Sometimes, non-wisp creatures would come too, and when they left, they would become wisps.

Huang Niuniu had followed a wispified snail once. Their wispiness would fade, it wasn’t a permanent change. Some would last longer, some shorter.

But regardless, whether real or fake wisps, they not only shared their light with her, but with each other. As they did, the combined light seemed to call upon a slumbering power nested deep within her.

It flickered with the sound of the sea, even though she was submerged in a river. She would taste salt water when there was none, and it definitely wasn’t her sweat.

She would watch the illuminated kaleidoscope from all the wisps, and glean meaning where there was none.

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She told Han’er about it after going back. He only scratched his head, muttering about how maybe it wasn’t so bad that he, unlike her, didn’t have an imperial grade bloodline art, if it meant so much trouble. She knew he was just jealous and was trying to cope. Adorable.

Fang Zhao was supposed to be back by now, but he wasn’t. Maybe he got eaten by a monster? As expected of a stinky noble.

I hope Mistress Miao gets back safely.

Fei Rui, Feral Spot, Mistress Miao, and she were thinking of starting a cooking club.

There was the recipe for spirit beasts.

The Common Sporefish Endurance Tonic. It was poison to humans, but spirit beasts could take it.

Huang Niuniu had finally gotten her hands on the main ingredient, the Common Sporefish. It wasn’t common at all! It cost ten spirit stones.

I wonder if I keep feeding Han’er the other recipe, the Saltwater Soup of Seventeen Toxins, and he gets better poison resistance, will he be able to eat the Common Sporefish Endurance Tonic?

The boy had been complaining about bland-tasting cooking. She was the one who cooked. How was she supposed to make the fasting brew or the vitality spite spicier? That would ruin the recipe.

…and she was ashamed to admit that though she was amazing at washing the laundry, her job had been stolen by the magic cleaning compartment in the Night Alchemists’ Yard.

She was also a good yard-cleaner. In fact, her temple cleaning skills were second to none. Grandmother excluded. But… she didn’t need to do that here.

She was a good dancer! And, uh, she knew how to dig holes really fast.

What else am I good at?

She remembered what Han’er had said yesterday.

They’d gotten into a slight argument. They had both accused each other of avoiding the other, but it was a misunderstanding. The conversation spiralled from there, to bland food, boats, some kind of flying metal bird, money, and finally, value.

“I don’t value you because of what you do for me, Niu’er,” he had said. “That’s not the me of now, but maybe I was like that in another life. Niu’er, I l-like spending time with you because you are you.”

It made Huang Niuniu depressed. Where was he getting these lines? They made so much sense but it was sad to think about.

If she was being pampered by his kindness so much and got used to it, how would she ever fit in with the high society after she headed back?

She had not forgotten about Huang Linxue. Nor Wu Di, and definitely not Qiao Jinhai.

She would rise. If not with fire, then with the light of fireflies and the creepy legs of lobsters.

She would show her pathetic excuse of a father that her mother and she were not just wisps destined to die, but wisps that illuminated the whole world in scorching light. With lasers!

She pointed a finger towards an underwater rock. A line of light extended towards the rock, the water passing through it making it look dreamy and mesmerising. If she went all out, at the cost of lifeforce and qi and more, she could blind every being in a ten metre radius.

But that’s not a laser. Lasers burnt and scorched and communicated information and distracted cats. Apparently.

Her grandmother, the old servant who raised her even though she wasn’t her kin of blood after her mother’s death, loved lanterns.

She would give her a lantern that could kill demons.

She would join Shi Miao and Song Yinuo in their lavish princess parties in the inner sect sanctum, holding her head high like a swan among the flock of gorgeous cranes.

She would not suffer Qiao Jinhai to live, not relent until Wu Di was left womanless in both body and mind, and wipe that smug smile off of Huang Linxue’s face, along with her whole face altogether for good measure.

She would drag Chu Fei in front of Han’er and show him what a true man looked like. One who was kind, insecure, pampered her, was chubby and cuddly, and most importantly, kept his word.

… though sometimes when listening to some of Han’er’s wilder ideas, she got the impression maybe he wasn’t so kind after all.

Well, what did it matter? As long as he was kind to her and her friends.

…uh, he kinda pissed off Song Yinuo, right?

Huang Niuniu shook her head. She would learn how to cook, then set out to make pills and potions. Sheneeded a teacher first.

She already got the Inner Awareness trait, thanks to Elder Chang.

She headed back after a refreshing session of cultivation.

Days passed with her teasing Han’er and being teased back. Fang Zhao still wasn’t back. Did he really get eaten?

Too bad.

She had other important matters though. Like the playdate with Feral Spot, Fei Rui, and Han’er.

***

「And here is the rock with two eyes, and here is the one with three eyes, and there, you see that big rock with four eyes over there?」 Fei Rui asked.

“I sure do,” Yu Han replied. “What is it?”

「That’s the four-eyes rock. I think it thinks it’s smarter than the other rocks.」

The giant crab lumbered across the isthmus strip. He was large enough that in some narrower sections, his legs stretched from one watery edge to the other.

「I know they don’t actually have eyes. I couldn’t visit their dreams either. But here is the question, do you need eyes to dream? The ant-buddies that live underground don’t, and they all dream together. The furry rats with weird noses—moles! Moles have eyes, but they don’t see. O-Or see badly. And they dream!」

“Do trees dream?”

「Some do. Do you want to be a tree, Yu Han?」

“Do shadows dream?”

「Ohhh! I hadn’t thought of that one before.」

“Do puppets dream of wooden sheep?”

「Yu Han! Stop it. Too many ideas at once is bad. Bad!」

Yu Han and Huang Niuniu sat on the driver’s seat of the cart in the back, which was pulled by one of the horned donkeys, a primal beast bred by the sect. Feral Spot was in the cart bed, all coiled up in a heap of Filth-Eating Ghoul corpses. Every few minutes, he’d snack on one.

「This is me. The me who doesn’t dream.」 Fei Rui stopped in front of a particularly large rock. The crab tapped it with his pincers as if patting a friend. He removed the moss and the algae, the ferns and the reeds. As the green and brown bits fell, an off-orange shell, beaten and tattered through years of natural decay and marred with patches of grey and white, showed itself. Like a long forgotten statue slowly being revealed to the world.

“Another Fei Rui?” Huang Niuniu called out. “O-Oh no, is it dead?”

“It looks like a sculpture,” Yu Han said.

Or was it a crab-shaped rock?

No…

“Is that your shell?” Yu Han asked.

「This is me before the last me,」 Fei Rui said. 「When I went from level 3 to 4. It took a long time to stick all the parts back together. The bees helped with wax!」

The past shells. When Fei Rui had molted.

“Are there other shells?”

Fei Rui shook his giant body. 「The one when I went from level 6 to 7, and 9 to 10 was taken away by a… I don’t remember! Oh, but grandpa has the one when I went from level 0 to 1. Hey Yu Han, if I lose my cultivation and go back from level 10 aaaaall the way to level 0, will I need to wear my previous shells?」

“Probably not.”

「Phew. I don’t want to. I like the me of now better. I have so many good memories with Yu Han and Soft Niuniu and Fang Fang and Meow Miao and Big Small Worm and Li Boy—」

“Wait, that’s the nickname Mistress Miao gave Li Yao. Did you steal it?”

「She doesn’t own words!」

“She calls Niu’er Wisp Girl.”

「Your Niu’er is my Soft Niuniu and her Wisp Girl and Li Yao’s Cow Girl. You don’t need to only be one thing, silly Yu Han, and you don’t need to be anyone for other people. You be who you can, want, aim, and should be. Otherwise, that’s not life. That’s being a not-life rock with four eyes. You can be Yu Han of here, or the mean Yu Han you were before, when you were older and weren’t fat. I think… Yu Han is trying too hard not to be the mean Yu Johan. Even if you don’t like that version of yourself, you can’t ignore it. Or else, you’ll be dooooomed.」

“Do you want us to move this shell?” Yu Han changed the topic. “We can keep it in our yard.”

「That’s fine. My Yu Han is still the best and I love you! But no, the shell stays here. Let me keep a bit of me here, and a bit of me there. So one day, I can be everywhere.」

Yu Han didn’t understand, but somehow he could empathise with the sentiment.

Feral Spot hissed from the back, followed by a large wiggle that rocked the whole cart. The donkey snorted, then hit its own back with its tail, swatting away flies and the like.

「Big Small Worm says Soft Niuniu is his favourite human, but she can only be what she wants. Not what we want.」

“Smart.”

“I wish you would let me in your conversation,” Huang Niuniu, the girl who meant many things to many people, said while flicking her hair. “It’s so unfair. It feels like I’m being left out and you don’t like me.”

“You know it’s because of the accord.”

“Senior Brother Feral Spot, is there something that lets spirit beasts talk out loud? A relic?” The girl pleaded.

The worm hissed and slapped its tail on the wood.

「Ohhh, Big Small Worm said yes to what Soft Niuniu said. What did she say? Oh and don’t tell her what he said. It’s more fun for him when the communication is one-sided. Weird worm.」

Yu Han wouldn’t give up a chance to tease his favourite female human either. They chatted, joked, and when necessary, just took in the nature with silence between each breath.

Afternoon turned to evening, and then the hints of night came. They spent two hours on a journey that usually took twenty minutes, stopping by every landmark Fei Rui pointed out.