Data-Driven Daoist

The domes broke and seven boats appeared.

They looked like leisure boats, the type scholars would use for a relaxing ride on the lake with courtesans by their side, reciting poetry that praised womanly beauty, manly courage, and heavenly wisdom. They had rows of seats on both sides, with a quaint open roof covering them. At the back was a large cottage-like structure, with tiled roofs and a small chimney.

Why the heck am I using that kind of metaphor? Oh, I’m Yu Han.

Yu Han looked at his hands, clenching and unclenching them. The burns from the chilli oil were still there, albeit healing because of Duan Xiaolong’s mist.

It stung less now.

He didn’t want to cry.

“Girls, get onto the Drizzle One and Two. Boys, get onto Three to Seven,” the lady said.

The boats, Drizzle by name, moved on their own near the gaping hole. It was a ten metre jump.

“Jump,” Duan Xiaolong said to Guo Yexi. The poor girl almost fainted, but nodded.

She walked to the edge, then closed her eyes. “M-Mother, watch over me.” With a squeak, she jumped. And floated down gently to the boat.“Wow!” she exclaimed.

After that, the process went faster. Each boat looked like it could hold ten people. Soon, the two boats filled up.

“One more,” the lady said. “We have a shy one.”

It was Huang Niuniu.

“Elder, that’s the wisp—”

“Qiao Jinhai, know your place. How can I go back on a deal?” The Elder interrupted him, but those wizened eyed followed every one of Huang Niuniu’s motions.

“Sister? Sister! What are you doing?” a voice called out. Huang Linxue was on deck. She had the face of a distressed diva, hair sticking to her face, and she was scowling like a sour lemon. “We are noble ladies of the Martial Eagle Kingdom. Why would you—”

“Shut it, girl,” the lady said, and Huang Linxue stopped with a yelp.

Huang Niuniu’s eyes weren’t on her. She looked at Yu Han. Her wounds were gone. There was something in her hand.

She hesitated.

Don’t come this way. Just go.

The blue monkey pushed her, and she fell out of the hole.

She screamed as she gently floated down to the boat.

The two boats moved away, and two more came.

“Now, boys. Chop chop. We don’t have all day. The geezer might ask for his money back!” the lady said.

Yu Han was on to Drizzle Five, with Li Yao and other riffraff from the White Lotus Kingdom.

“Tubs, do you think Sima Yan’s up to something?” Li Yao asked.

“Why?” Yu Han hadn’t noticed anything.

“They were looking at you like you’re a snack.”

“Gross.”

“Be careful. Ma San and Pang Jiming, and those nobles.” Li Yao slapped his leg. “Wait, wait! I remember!”

“What did you remember?”

“Tubs, remember the other non-noble kid who got accepted with Ma San and us?”

“The one with the shaved head?”

“Chen Da. I thought the name sounded familiar. I couldn’t recognise him at first because he shaved his head.”

“Who is he?” Yu Han’s stomach dropped. He had a bad feeling about this.

“He’s from the Bloody Grass Gang. Jie Tong’s friend.”

“Fuck. No wonder.” The kid had glared at Yu Han like he had stolen his life savings. “Didn’t the Bloody Grass Gang sell Jie Tong out? He’s got no reason to hate me.”

“The execs sold him out. The kids at the bottom are orphans, like me. And they stay together.”

“Fuck.”

“Wash your neck, tubs. This daddy can’t help you with so many fuckers after you. And Wu Di in three years? That’s what that old man said, right? Don’t know how they’ll track you down or what a Hidden Realm is, but I wouldn’t count a cultivator’s words as empty boasting,” Li Yao laughed. “He’s gonna be a sight to see in three years if he finds out you kicked the bucket.”

“I told him to get in line.”

“Bwahaha!”

Yu Han was joking, but the situation didn’t look good. Not two months in, he had so many people after his life.

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Jie Tong, maybe Jie Hua. Their friend with the shaved head. Sima Yan and company, including Ma San. Wu Di, and probably the whole Verdant Blade Sect, considering how much they valued his Profound Talent.

Johan, you’re really something. Slapping faces came naturally. On Earth too, Johan had no problem creating feuds. He was lucky that on Earth, there was a semblance of social order, although London challenged that assumption many times.

But in this world, it was dog-eat-dog. And some dogs could shoot lasers and live for—

“Do you think cultivation increases lifespan?” Yu Han asked.

Li Yao cracked his neck, leaning against the boat rails behind the seat. The sea breeze waved his hair. The Drizzle One started moving.

“They call them Immortals,” Li Yao said.

Yu Han covered his face, half in excitement—he had freaking superpowers!—and half in sorrow. He would never see his family again. Not his dad. And not his—

Elder Sister. I hope she… Fuck, what if Sima Yan’s family go after her?

They were a travelling merchant band. They went far and wide. Did they leave the country?

Did they…

Can I send a letter?

The next time their band was supposed to visit Riversong was nearly a year and a half from now. They visited every two years, and the last time was five months ago.

Something hit Yu Han’s face.

“Oof!” he cried.

“Tiger who wears a pig’s skin,” Duan Xiaolong’s voice called out.

It was a pouch. There was his dropped dagger, too.

“Don’t lose your fang. And remember to savour your winnings.”

Yu Han pocketed them.

Duan Xiaolong was running on water. He extended a palm, and a wisp of mist shot towards Yu Han. He nodded, then sprinted away, joining the lady on top of the shark. The other seven recruits on the boat stirred, each eyeing Yu Han.

“Hey now,” Li Yao called out, “What I hate more than a cock is a snake.”

“We were just looking, brother Li,” one recruit said, and then they all looked away, chit-chatting in groups.

The sin of a poor man is to find a box of riches.

No.

The sin is for others to find out.

Bandits would come. They’d steal his riches, rape his wife, burn his house with his sons trapped inside.

That was what happened to Old Wang, a farmer who lived in the village where Yu Han’s parents got their supply of fermented shrimps.

But gods be damned if someone could pry money from his hands.

Li Yao had given it back. That’s why Yu Han wouldn’t stab him in his—

“My…”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

I dropped my money! When the White-haired Elder stopped the boat! Yu Han had fallen, and the pouch was gone.

With the coins.

And the booklet!

Fuck. Fuck. Father’s… It’s fine. No, really. It didn’t matter. Their memory would live on with him forever.

I’m too careless.

The Drizzle rode the ocean waves, cutting through the water that glowed in the moonlight. Sometimes they would catch sight of another Drizzle or the giant shark on the horizon.

In the cottage-like area at the back of the Drizzle, there were beds, bathrooms, and toilets. There was a pantry too, with preserved food.

Yu Han used the last of the salve from the vial Huang Niuniu had given him. Duan Xiaolong’s mist ball had already mended most of it, but Yu Han hoped it would quicken the progress. He didn’t want any strange infections while on the high seas.

“Did you notice?” Yu Han asked Li Yao.

“More True Qi. This boat, it gathers Qi like the ship,” Li Yao said.

Their cultivation speeds increased. Yu Han now received two True Qi most days. The speed of Arts progression didn’t increase, though.

“That bastard, Qiao Jinhai,” Li Yao cursed. “He must’ve lied his ass off! Why’s the True Qi cultivation on a little boat faster than the ship?”

“Or he restricted it for White Lotus Kingdom recruits. The wardrooms must’ve been… pre-selected. I don’t believe that giant ship would have worse capabilities than this boat,” Yu Han said. The shark lady had blackmailed the old man for it, after all.

One day, Li Yao shot up in a hurry and made a fuss, pacing around the boat like he was on too much caffeine.

Yu Han raised an eyebrow.

“I have… I have a tribulation?” Li Yao said.

“What’s that?” Yu Han focused.

That reminds me. I had a system message that mentioned tribulation too. When I killed that demonic dog.

“My True Qi progress halted at a hundred and ten,” Li Yao said.

“Are you showing off?” Yu Han grumbled. Geniuses, Refined Talent. Blah.

“It’s been stuck like that for a few days,” Li Yao said. “Today, I poked at the floating words. And… the tribulation message appeared.”

“What does it say?”

Li Yao winked, but gave no answer.

In the following days, the remaining recruits on the Drizzle also raised a hubbub. Everyone had reached the end of their progression at Level 0. Now, to progress, it seemed they would need to pass this tribulation. And whatever the tribulation was, people were tight-lipped.

Everyone has a different tribulation. Yu Han was sure of that. These kids thought they could hide secrets from him.

A general air of competition grew. The boys became more diligent in training. Yu Han tried and failed to limit the amount he ate. He tried stretching, calisthenics, and training with Li Yao.

He slept with the dagger practically every day. The winnings pouch had twenty-five of the hexagonal crystals. Spirit stones. Where did Wu Di get so many?

Well, they were his now. He was careful not to ever show the pouch. Especially since there wasn’t a ready supply of chilli oil or red pepper powder on the boat.

Then, one day, a storm hit the Drizzle.

“Get in! Damn it, grab the rope!” Li Yao threw a rope at a boy who had fallen overboard.

They heaved, with Yu Han taking the rear. They pulled the boy up. He wasn’t breathing.

“Fuck!”

“Get out of the way.” Yu Han straddled the boy.

What was it? Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive.

He pumped the boy’s chest with his full weight. Ribs cracked.

“Breathe into his mouth!” Yu Han roared, and Li Yao complied.

Yu Han hummed the tune. Soon, the boy spluttered out seawater.

Things changed after that. The boy thanked Yu Han, but he didn’t grovel, and like everyone else, he would keep his distance, just laying at the back of the boat with a blank look.

Others did the same. But now, when they looked at Yu Han, there was an unspoken respect in their eyes.

“He tried to pass the tribulation by tying himself to the boat and diving underwater. Crazy bastard,” Li Yao grumbled, then went back to stabbing the air with his hand.

The Drizzle was like a lonely speck of dust on the empty ocean. Outside, lightning would crash and maelstroms would whirl. Waves larger than mountains would try to swallow the boat. The pitter-patter of rain was a constant background noise.

But the small boat would not topple. It would rock steadily, like a lullaby. Magic.

The herculean storm passed.

Finally, it was the seventy-fifth day since Yu Han had arrived in this world. The other recruits sported stubble or beards. Li Yao showed his off like a badge of honour.

D-Do I not have enough testosterone? Yu Han despaired. His chin was smoother than a baby’s butt.

Name: Yu Han (Johan)

Level: 0

True Qi: 105 (+61)/110

Pure Qi: 10/110

So close. Argh. Why couldn’t I have Profound or even Refined Talent?

Arts:

[Deep Sleep]

Type: Bloodline

Grade: Mortal Level 1

Mastery: Initial Step Level 1

True Qi: 103 (+37)/200

[Echoing Dreamscape]

Type: Auxiliary

Grade: Mortal Level 9

Mastery: Initial Step Level 3

True Qi: 45 (+23)/400

His traits remained the same.

“Hey, come out, guys!” a voice shouted from outside. “Land! I see land!”