Cultivation Chat Group

North River Loose Practitioner replied, “What’s the cause of their memory loss?”

“I’m still looking into it. We can’t confirm the reason yet. Perhaps it’s a special technique on the island or perhaps there’s a terrifying monster… If we come to a conclusion, I’ll let everyone know,” Medicine Master answered.

“Thanks for your warning, Medicine Master bro,” North River Loose Practitioner said.

As long as they made preparations, they would not be caught off guard even if the mysterious island was very strange.

After thinking a while, North River Loose Practitioner reminded Three Waves, “Three Waves bro, you’re already at the East China Sea. Best be a little careful”.

“Relax, this Wave is not part of the careless generation!” Three Waves laughed loudly.

“Three Waves, relax and go forth! I just divinated your future. Your luck is pretty good recently so this trip should be quite gratifying,” Bronze Trigram Immortal Master suddenly popped up and quietly posted.

Once this sentence had been spoken by Immortal Master, Mad Saber Three Wave’s complexion did an immediate 180.

“Wait… wait a minute! Hey fortune teller, what did you just say? My luck is pretty good recently?” Mad Saber Three Waves replied at lightning speed, “Are you sure you aren’t looking at the wrong diagram? Why don’t you divinate it again and see? You must have drawn the shortest straw! Don’t lie to me! It’s definitely an ill omen, am I right? At least a G-cup sized *ill omen, no?”

*TL: In Chinese, ill omen has the same pronunciation as bra :/

A vein bulged in Bronze Trigram Immortal Master’s forehead. “Get lost!”

“Hahaha,” North River laughed before copying what Mad Saber Three Waves had said previously and pasted it five or six times in the chat. Then, he proudly said, “Just admit it, fortune teller. Your divination will be shady for as long as you live!”

“Bastard!” Bronze Trigram Immortal Master had been stabbed where it hurt most. “North River, you old fool, you’ve gone too far!”

North River Loose Practitioner posted a smirking face, “You’re unconvinced? Then in two months, let’s a have a duel at Forbidden Violet Summit!”

“Hn! Two months later, I will naturally experience your “teachings” from your techniques. However, my revenge cannot wait a second more!” Bronze Trigram Immortal Master expanded his “Custom Emoticons” list and pulled up the page marked “North River” with a frigid smile.

Then, he posted a number of chatlog screenshots in rapid succession.

　　……………………

[xx Year xx Month.

North River Loose Practitioner: Last week, I was lucky enough to attend Celestial Ladies Sect’s feast where I saw Senior Little Skylark of the sect with my own eyes. Senior’s elegant bearing is truly an unforgettable sight! (PS: Celestial Ladies Sect Little Skylark, Nine Provinces (1) Group moderator.)

Mad Saber Three Waves: You’ve fallen for Little Skylark?

North River Loose Practitioner: Of course.

North River Loose Practitioner: Bastard… Don’t randomly interrupt me!]

　　……………………

[xx Year xx Month, again.

Su Clan’s Ah Qi: North River, that stalk of “Cloud Spiral Thrice-viewed Moon” is sincerely beautiful. I’m not the only one who thinks so. No need to be humble!

North River Loose Practitioner: Fine then, I’ll admit that I’m very beautiful!]

　　……………………

A string of five or six pictures were posted, all of them out-of-context screenshots of North River’s black history.

North River Loose Practitioner could no longer contain himself after seeing this row of chatlog screenshots. “Shady fortune teller, enough from you! When did you take so many screenshots?”

“Hmph hmph.” Bronze Trigram Immortal Master’s face was a mask of triumph. “I have even more ruthless ones.”

“Don’t think you’re the only who has these!” North River Loose Practitioner was furious as he also rummaged through his own custom emoticons page and pulled out the tab labelled “Bronze Trigram” before rapidly posting five or six.

This post meant irreconcilable war.

You post four pictures then I’ll post five pictures — it became a flaming competition between the two to see who had saved more black screenshots.

As the two smeared each other’s reputations, they could not avoid bringing other members of the group into the picture. Hence, the number of members taking part in this flaming competition expanded like a rolling snowball.

Nine Provinces (1) Group became a group full of flamers.

Gradually, North River Loose Practitioner was beginning to weaken.

Bronze Trigram Immortal Master’s stock was too big. This time’s Grand Flaming Competition seemed to be indicating his loss.

What should he do? Could it be that he needed to use the heavenly tool Photoshop to post fake black screenshots?

“Hahaha, North River, you’ve already run out of stock?” Bronze Trigram Immortal Master’s spirits soared. “This isn’t even my final form yet. Come, have a taste of my ultimate! This is an imprint from several hundred years ago that I’ve preserved using magic — Settle down everyone, look at something juicy — Ding ding ding~~ The year when North River was receiving White True Monarch!”

This Magic Imprint Technique was equivalent to modern day video recording and the like. In the ancient world where there had been no way to record anything, the Magic Imprint Technique had been very much treasured amongst cultivators.

“Damn it, it can’t be!” As North River Loose Practitioner heard this, his heartbeat increased rapidly. This unscrupulous shady fortune teller — that year he actually secretly used the Magic Imprint Technique to record the scene where he received White True Monarch?

No, he could absolutely not allow this shady fortune to post that embarrassing picture!

North River Loose Practitioner immediately bowed his head to evil forces. “Immortal Master, please show some mercy. I’ll admit my mistake, is that not enough?”

He would find someone to hack that guy’s computer and delete that thing in the next few days. Then he’d come up with some way to destroy that magic imprint! North River Loose Practitioner silently steeled his resolve.

“Too late!” Bronze Trigram Immortal Master cackled before triumphantly posting a short video on the chat.

The video was a little blurred. Since it was a video recording of the magic imprint, it was not clear.

In the video, a man’s figure shook his head and sorrowfully sighed before saying in archaic language, “I think, if this guy had White True Monarch’s looks… as well as that infinite charisma, even if he was a man… Fuck, what the hell are you guys recording!”

“Hahaha, North River, look at your dumb face back then,” Bronze Immortal Trigram Master wildly laughed as though he could already see North River drooping with defeat, like a lost dog.

“…” North River Loose Practitioner fell silent for a few moments as he repeatedly stared at the sighing man in the video.

Even when that man’s face was filled with sorrow, he was still extremely handsome.

Then… North River Loose Practitioner breathed a sigh of relief.

Yup, this was great! The man in the video was not him!

Great misfortune was about to fall upon this guy Bronze Trigram! This he could swear upon his name!

As expected, five minutes later.

[System Announcement: (******) Bronze Trigram Immortal Master has been muted by Group Owner Mt Yellow’s True Monarch for 30 days.]

Woah, muted for 30 whole days!

North River Loose Practitioner’s heart exploded with glee.

If the chatting software had not limited bans to 30 days, Bronze Trigram Immortal Master would have been banned for much longer!

— Because that guy Bronze Trigram had posted a piece of black history just now!

That man in the video was not North River, but the Group Owner several hundred years ago — Mt Yellow True Monarch. This was akin to poking a sleeping dragon and looking to be shat on!

Mad Saber Three Waves immediately popped out, praising Mt Yellow True Monarch, “Good ban, True Monarch! Guys like Bronze Trigram should be banned for ten or twenty years!”

Mt Yellow True Monarch, whose embarrassment had morphed into rage by now smiled coldly. Without hesitation, he also sent Mad Saber Three Waves a slip.

[System Announcement: (******) Mad Saber Three Waves has been muted by Group Owner Mt Yellow’s True Monarch for 30 days.]

You will not die if you do not seek death. Sigh, Wave bro, why do you still not understand this?

North River Loose Practitioner exclaimed in his heart — Talking like that is equivalent to telling Mt Yellow True Monarch, “True Monarch, I also watched that video just now!”

Who would True Monarch ban if he didn’t ban you?

If you all learn to conduct yourselves like me, you definitely won’t court death. When one should be low-profile, absolutely do not raise your profile! I’m the happiest motherfucker here now that that guy Bronze Trigram has been muted but still, I won’t talk!

North River Loose Practitioner barely refrained from praising himself!

[System Announcement: (******) North River Loose Practitioner has been muted by Group Owner Mt Yellow’s True Monarch for 30 days.]

As one of the chief barbarians who had instigated this flame war, no matter how low-profile North River Loose Practitioner was, he was still unable to escape the ban hammer…

North River Loose Practitioner felt like his balls had been laden with grief…

Song Shuhang who had read everything to this point had laughed to the point of internal injury.

He had originally wanted to post something but immediately retracted his hands from the keyboard. At this point, Mt Yellow True Monarch was still seething with rage and embarrassment. No matter who it was that posted, they would still be banned.

But then again… why were the group’s seniors so terrified of this this senior White True Monarch? It seemed that even Mt Yellow True Monarch had once suffered from the same predicament?