Card Apprentice Daily Log

Chapter 2685: Crazy Breeds Madness

Date: Unspecified

Time: Unspecified

Location: Myriad Realms, Card World, Southern Region, Blossom District, Sky Blossom City, TSR Guild Headquarters

If someone who spent most of your life trying to kill you suddenly paused to lecture you about your love life, you’d be curious too, wouldn’t you?

Or was that just me?

Granted, I was the crazy one who brought the topic up with that psycho in the first place. Still, the intensity Sansa showed toward it made it feel like she genuinely gave a damn about my love life. That was baffling—and, unfortunately, it also made me curious about her thought process.

Was she thinking, ’Since I have him here, I might as well lecture him about monogamy and soulmates before I kill him?’

What good would that possibly do for anybody?

Imagine your killer, in the middle of a desperate struggle for your life, suddenly pausing to lecture you about your love life.

”You know what, Dave? None of your current three wives are good enough for you. Just hang in there a little longer—I’m sure the love of your life is out there somewhere. Anyway, where were we? Right. Time to die, Dave.”

If Dave died like that, I’m convinced his ghost would be stuck screaming ”What?” for the rest of eternity. An eternity drowning in confusion.

Forget halal—this would be a far crueler way to slaughter.

I don’t know how many of you get what I’m saying, but I bet Dave gets it.

”Right, Dave?”

”What?”

”Master, Master,” Sansa called out, pulling me from my whimisical thoughts, ”Uh?”

”Master, are you okay? You suddenly spaced out,” she asked, concern evident in her voice.

That was... not something I would have imagined hearing from her before today. Shaking my head, I asked, ”So, where were we?”

”You asked why I suddenly showed an interest in your love life,” Sansa replied. When I nodded, she continued, ”It’s because of Baylor. He said he would like it if our son were friends with you—and if our daughter were romantically involved with you.”

Listening to her, I couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow in confusion.

When Sansa had said that Baylor was moving on, I hadn’t really believed her. But now, I was not only starting to believe it—I was beginning to wonder whether Baylor had completely lost his mind. There was so much crazy to untangle here that my head hurt.

I mean, what the hell, man? I could understand you accepting her despite her killing your lover and lover’s husband. After all, she had been your beloved crazy wife, who showered you with enough love to flood an ocean.

But why in the world would you hope that your lover’s son would become friends with—or even romantically involved with—the child you sired with his parents’ killer?

Ain’t that sick?

If that man hadn’t completely lost his marbles, what else could possibly explain his thinking?

”Seeing him make plans for a future together with me,” Sansa said softly, ”I was so happy that I wanted to make that future come true for him. I wanted to bear as many children as he wished. I wanted to raise them with him, grow old with him, and die holding his hand—just like those old romantic novels. So, master, when you asked my advice on your love-life, I felt like it was divine intervention. Things were once again working in my favor.”

With every word Sansa spoke, her excitement visibly grew. I began to fear that she might orgasm right there in front of me. I knew bloodkin were granted a disturbingly high degree of freedom, but reaching that completion before me? That was just... sick.

”Are you sure you want to have children with him?” I asked. ”Aren’t you worried you’ll kill them, just like you killed your best friend and her husband for the very same reason? If you can do it once, you can do it twice. Then, you will do it a third time—and again after that. That’s something you should think about before you start playing housewife with Baylor.”

I wasn’t teasing Sansa. I genuinely believed that if she ever had children with Baylor, it would be a miracle if they survived past their first birthday.

If Sansa ever felt that her love for Baylor was being overlooked, she would destroy everything in her path. That didn’t mean she wouldn’t love those children. It didn’t even mean she would be jealous of them. It also didn’t mean she would let them take Baylor from her.

”Yes, Master. I will think about it,” Sansa said, nodding politely. But she didn’t actually think about it.

Her words said one thing; her mind revealed another. She had already made up her mind to have Baylor’s children. Still, compared to the other bloodkins, she was the most honest of them all—much like how Lois was the most expressive, and Dalie was the most loyal and selfless.

”You do understand that I’ll kill you once I’m done dealing with this mess, right?” I said, making my intentions unmistakably clear. She remained quiet and submissive outwardly, but inwardly, she thought, ’That’s all the more reason for me to have Baylor’s children as soon as possible.’

Listening in on her inner thoughts, my eyes widened. I felt a sudden, frantic urge to tip a cow—anything to distract me from the crazy in her head.

I was beginning to understand what Baylor must have endured as her captive. It was no longer surprising that he had lost his mind. To survive her, he must have embraced the madness.

I couldn’t help but feel sorry for the guy.

”You can take your leave now,” I said. ”While you’re at it, move Ned and Baylor to Freedom City.” I dismissed Sansa, trusting her to make the arrangements as instructed. ”Don’t worry. You can visit him in Freedom City if he agrees to meet you.”

”Thank you, Master,” Sansa replied, bowing before she departed.

I retracted my Celestial Rule Domain and turned my attention to Henricks, who had been waiting patiently for me all this time along with the other captains of the Freedom Fighters.