Blade Over Magic

Criticism

’That’s not good.’ Aubrey, as perceptive as she was, immediately noticed Xander’s odd reaction, and she could tell that Falael was becoming increasingly anxious.

’If this isn’t settled cleanly, things will most definitely become very messy, especially with the ball coming up.’ She opened her mouth to say something, but Xander spoke first.

”Okay, Aubrey, I decided to follow your advice and read the intent. Specifically mine, to see if I reciprocated Falael’s feelings, and there is good news and bad news.” That made everyone pause. Even Mary, who was pretending not to listen, raised a brow slightly.

”... Isn’t it just a yes or no question? What do you mean good and bad news?” Falael’s ears twitched, something resembling tentative hope appearing in their eyes, then frustration at that emotion.

Xander didn’t immediately respond as he continued to inspect the lines of intent moving between him and the two girls.

’To be clear, this is just ’affection’. Just like paths in general, it is also made up of numerous smaller parts. It could be romantic, but it could also be platonic, familial, and so on.’ He mused as he focused on a single line of intent between him and Falael, and he ’zoomed’ in.

’Let’s see. Indeed, it’s indeed also made up of several smaller parts. I wonder just how deep that goes, like is platonic affection also made up of smaller parts? And— Oh, oh, yeah that’s... that’s pretty clear.’ Xander’s brows jumped when he further broke apart the intent representing affection.

On one hand, he was curious to see just how far down this could go. On the other hand, he was more or less hit in the face with a very obvious bit of intent that practically screamed ’love’.

Ordinarily speaking, he should have stopped there.

But got curious, again.

’Huh... so what exactly makes up love, then? That seems very arbitrary.’ Xander may be dense, but even he knew just how messy emotions were. So what constituted love? How did that work?

So he broke it apart to see the smaller parts and made it up.

Or at least, he tried to.

Then he saw something, but before he could even comprehend it, Myriad Paths just... deactivated.

It was so abrupt that it took him a moment to realize what just happened.

’... Huh?’ He blinked.

What was that?

He felt like he was about to touch upon something, yet as soon as he got close, the Paths just vanished, almost like they were warning him. That had never happened before.

”... Xander? Are you alright? You’ve just been standing there for almost a minute now.” Aubrey looked at him with some worry. At some point, his eyes had glazed over, but he didn’t seem aware of this faction.

”Yeah... I’m fine.” After a second, he nodded and rubbed his face.

”So... about that good and bad news...” Falael said, trying to sound natural.

”Ah, yeah about that.” Xander decided to temporarily put the strange phenomenon out of his mind and focus on the matter at hand.

He scratched his head, debating how to relay his findings.

”So the good news is... I do like you back?” He sounded almost unsure, and Falael’s breath hitched, and a huge weight that had been pressing on her shoulders vanished.

”... But?” Aubrey pressed carefully, and Xander glanced at her, then back at Falael, then his expression turned awkward.

”That’s the bad news...” He took a breath and decided to just say it.

”I saw that my own affection isn’t only connected to me, but also to Aubrey. And hers also extends to me.” Falael froze, Curtis’s fur on his tail puffed up, and Aubrey raised a brow. She seemed ready to say something, but somehow, Xander had immediately returned to his usual self as he rubbed his chin.

”This is interesting because you are the most observant person in this group. Excluding the overpowered entities over there. So it seems absurd that you wouldn’t know that you like me. Which leaves me with two possibilities.” He closed his eyes.

”Either your analytical behavior is strictly logical, meaning you hardly take note of your own emotions, or it’s the opposite. You are incredibly aware of your own emotions. But then you also noted the oddities between me and Falael. So rather than acting out on your feelings, you filed them away and acted strictly like an observer, more or less detaching yourself from the whole thing until it became too tiring to watch. This was to avoid putting me in a situation where I needed to possibly choose between the two of your, saving the group from a very volatile situation. I’m inclined to agree with this option as from what I know, you are as introspective as you are analytical, so it wouldn’t make sense that you are unaware of your own feelings.” He reopened his eyes, and everyone just stared at him.

He scratched his head.

”Too much?” Aubrey blinked slowly, then she took off her glasses and rubbed the bridge of her nose.

”You are so unbelievably dense in some areas and incredibly smart in others. Do you understand how frustrating that makes you?” Xander looked away and coughed.

”In my defense, I’ve never been in a romantic relationship before. So everything I’m doing now is guesswork.” Falael scoffed, but he expression was complicated.

”I wouldn’t put it past you to believe that when there were actually people vying for your attention, and you were just too dense to see it.” Then she looked at Aubrey, her gaze conflicted.

”... Is what he said true? You also like him, but you didn’t interfere so that things wouldn’t become messy?” Aubrey met her gaze, and there was a moment of silence before she sighed and raised her hands.

”More or less. In the first place, I wasn’t even sure that I liked him. Our relationship felt more akin to brother and sister. At least in the beginning. I’m not really sure when things started to change. One day... he just felt magnetic.” She let out a huff of laughter. ”They say that the more mass something has, the more gravity it has. Maybe he’s so dense he just has his own gravitational pull.”

”I’m right here.” Xander grumbled, but they just ignored him.

”It’s honestly weird you say that. Honestly... I kinda thought that he was more interested in you than anything else.” That surprised them, even Aubrey, and Falael scoffed.

”Don’t look at me like that. Seriously, think about it. Xander was the one who made you realize that your perception magic wasn’t useless. You were the one who took the initiative to approach him to learn the bow and dagger. And he even went out of his way to buy the weapons for you. You always followed him around during our time in Avoma to discuss theories with him, and when we were in Landor, you were the one who helped him catch the traitors. Honestly, you guys looked like a couple from day one. It honestly made me...” She seemed to struggle with her next words, her pride trying to fight its way up, but she gritted her teeth and ground out.

”It... honestly made me jealous.” He shoulders slumped, and she hugged herself. ”I couldn’t help but compare myself and the way I treated him to the easy chemistry you two had. I felt... inadequate. Who would have thought that you...” She trailed off.

It was shocking, really. Falael, who always hid her true feelings behind deflections and sarcasm, even when her true feelings were still visible for all to see, was being thus vulnerable with all of them.

But then, it also made sense. After all, her entire body had literally changed over night. The conflicting emotions, and the truth Aubrey revealed... it would have been impressive if she managed to retain her usual demeanor properly.

”Falael...” Aubrey’s expression softened.

By the side, Curtis looked at Xander, expecting him to say something, but at this moment, he seemed to be deep in thought.

After a moment, he looked up at them, his expression unreadable, and asked.

”Why?” The two girls paused, and Curtis tilted his head.

”... Why?” Both girls repeated at the same time.

”Yeah. Why? Why do you guys like me?” For a moment, they wanted to feel offended, but then they looked at Xander.

Really looked at him.

And he almost seemed... distraught?

”My most defining trait is my love for swords. And this trait is so absolute that it’s practically unhealthy. It’s basically my whole personality. If I don’t have anything urgent doing, I’m practicing with a sword. Pretty much all my free time goes into swords. You guys KNOW it’s an obsession. What is there to like about that?” He looked at his hand.

”It’s so bad that I put everyone at risk just so I could find a worthy opponent. And the repercussions of that was me missing the funeral of Captain Andrew and the fallen soldiers. I had a responsibility and I let my own obsession nearly screw everything up. Is that really someone you should make the subject of your affection? I don’t... I don’t know how to do... this.” He gestured around.

”Love. Emotions. I have no clue if I will even be present when I need to be. If I’ll do something in the future that makes you hate me. Accidentally make an insensitive comment on something that has been bothering you. Or overlook an issue that should be obvious, but because I’m so dense I don’t think it’s that bad. What about any of that is attractive?” When he finished, everyone just stared at Xander in shock.

Which is when a fact they had suspected, but never truly confirmed, made itself apparent to them.

Xander was absolutely his worst critic.