[BL] Obsessed with Him, Surrendered to His Voice

Chapter 54: Chapter 54: The Answers That Broke Me

~Reynold’s POV~

As we walked away, Lily’s cheerful voice drifted after us. ”Alright, Daddy, take good care of Stepfather! Sorry, Stepfather!”

Frederick called back over his shoulder without missing a beat, ”I’ll come for you later, Lily.”

As we walked down the hallway, leaving the dining room behind, Frederick glanced at me, his expression softening slightly. ”Don’t listen to Lily,” he murmured with a shake of his head. ”She’s just talking nonsense.”

I nodded. ”Okay...”

When we reached the master bedroom, Frederick immediately sat me down on the edge of the bed and called for one of the maids, asking her to bring me a cup of warm tea.

As soon as he gave the order, Frederick turned his attention back to me. ”I’m going to call my private doctor to come over and check on you.”

I quickly reached for his hand. ”No, Frederick. I’m fine. It’s just a little soreness in my throat. I’m sure it’ll be gone by tomorrow.”

His brows pulled together. ”No, Reynold. You need to see a doctor. I pushed you too hard.”

”I told you, I’m fine,” I insisted, making a face at the thought of having a doctor examine me over something so embarrassing. ”I really don’t want a doctor.”

Frederick studied me for a moment, as if trying to decide whether I was telling the truth. ”Are you sure?”

”Yes.” I gave him a small nod. ”I’m really fine.”

Even after I reassured him, Frederick still looked restless. He couldn’t seem to settle down, and I could see the guilt and worry on his face over how rough he had been with me earlier.

Eventually, he sat down beside me on the bed. He moved closer until our shoulders touched, then rested his hand gently on my knee.

”If you won’t let me call the doctor, then tell me what else I can do to make it up to you,” Frederick said. ”Name it, Reynold. Anything.”

I turned to look at him, a sudden thought crossing my mind. If he were really willing to give me whatever I wanted to ease his guilt, this would be my chance.

”If I ask for something, will you really give it to me?” I asked, holding his gaze.

Frederick cupped my face in his large, warm hand, his thumb gently brushing over my cheek. ”Yes,” he promised without hesitation. ”I’ll give you anything.”

I took a small breath. ”Alright. What I want isn’t something material. I just have a few questions, and I want honest answers. That’s all.”

Frederick blinked, clearly surprised by my request. After a moment, his expression softened as he accepted it. He lowered his hand and laced his fingers through mine.

”I’m listening,” he said softly. ”Ask me whatever you want. I’ll answer every question honestly, if that’s what you want.”

I cleared my throat, swallowing past the raw ache that still lingered there, and turned my face slightly away from him.

”I know you already made it clear that I shouldn’t interfere with your personal life, but...” I paused, struggling to find the right words. ”I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened downstairs today, no matter how hard I tried. So, my first question is... do you still love her? And would you ever take her back?”

Frederick gave a short, dry chuckle. ”Who?”

I kept my gaze fixed on the wall, my chest tightening. ”Eva. You know... no one would ever guess she has a daughter as tall as Lily. She’s beautiful, has a great figure, and she’s—”

Frederick didn’t let me finish. His tone lost its teasing edge as he answered with blunt honesty. ”I don’t know if I will. She’s my first love, Reynold, the first person I ever truly loved. So I can’t say yes or no. I can only say it depends. But for now, I won’t give you a definite ’no,’ nor will I give you a ’yes.’”

It was a bitter pill to swallow.

I forced a tight smile, trying to keep my voice steady. ”I could tell from the way you talked to her and the way you looked at her that you still love her. So why don’t you just get back together with her?”

Frederick blinked, genuine surprise flashing in his eyes. ”Really?”

”Yes,” I muttered, lowering my gaze to my hands. ”But it’s fine. I understand now. Though...” I hesitated for a moment before asking, ”Have you ever asked Lily if she wants to meet her mother?”

Frederick frowned, seeming to notice the change in my tone. ”What do you understand?”

”It’s nothing.” I shook my head, a wave of discouragement washing over me. ”It doesn’t matter anymore. But answer my question. Have you ever asked Lily if she wants to meet her mom?”

”I have. Several times,” Frederick replied. ”She always says she isn’t ready. I never stopped her from seeing her mother. Lily just isn’t ready.”

”Alright,” I whispered, my heart sinking with a sharp, heavy ache.

A dark spiral of thoughts began to take over my mind.

I finally understood why he had made this contract with me. It was because he could take Eva back someday. And the reason he never wanted love or affection from me was because he only wanted Eva...

I felt completely hollow inside. Eva was beautiful, famous, and seemed to have everything anyone could want. What did I have to offer? Nothing. I stood no chance against a history like theirs.

Frederick watched my face carefully, pulling me out of my thoughts. ”Is that all your questions?”

I swallowed the lump in my throat, blinking back the sudden heat behind my eyelids. ”Yes. That’s all.”

Just then, a soft knock came from the bedroom door. The maid entered with the tray of hot tea Frederick had ordered earlier, carefully placed it on the side table, gave a respectful bow, and quietly left the room.

”You should drink your tea,” Frederick said, gesturing toward the steaming cup.

”Okay,” I murmured.

But I wasn’t okay. My chest felt tight, filled with a strange, suffocating ache I couldn’t explain. If I stayed in the room for another second, I was afraid I would embarrass myself by crying right in front of him.

I suddenly stood up from the bed. ”I want to use the bathroom.”

Frederick’s eyes narrowed slightly as he immediately noticed the change in my demeanor. ”Are you okay?”

”Yes, I am,” I lied, avoiding his gaze.

I turned around, but before I could take a single step toward the bathroom, his deep voice stopped me.

”That’s not all your questions, Reynold. Why don’t you ask the rest of the questions on your mind?”

My breath caught. Slowly, I turned back to him, keeping my eyes on the floor before finally lifting them to meet his heavy gaze. I swallowed hard and asked the question that had been weighing heavily on my mind.

”Do you prefer a woman... or a man?”

Frederick didn’t hesitate. ”Gender doesn’t really matter to me. I’d say I’m more used to women because I’ve never loved a man before. But if I ever truly fall in love with a man, that wouldn’t change anything. If I love someone, I’ll keep them close and cherish them, regardless of whether they’re a man or a woman.”

I forced a tight nod. ”Alright.”

Desperate to put my emotions aside, I forced myself to ask one last question, needing to know the answer. ”What kind of man is your type? Have you... have you ever met someone who fits your type?”

”I’m not sure I have,” Frederick answered honestly.

I gave a stiff nod. ”Okay.”

Without waiting for him to say anything else, I turned and hurried into the bathroom, pulling the heavy door shut behind me.

The moment the lock clicked, my knees gave out. I slid down against the cold door, burying my face in my hands as the sobs I had been holding back finally broke free. I clutched my chest, pressing my fist lightly against my aching ribs as hot tears streamed down my face.

He’ll never love me. I’m not his type... I’m nothing more than a temporary distraction to him. I’ll never be important to him.

Reynold, you need to get yourself together. He’s helping you pay all your bills, and that should be enough. Don’t let yourself fall in love with him. He doesn’t want you.

I sat there crying for several minutes, letting the pain wash over me before forcing myself to take a deep breath. Then I stood, walked over to the sink, and splashed cold water over my red, swollen face.

I grabbed a fresh towel, gently patted my face dry, and forced a blank expression onto my features before stepping back out to face him.

I returned to the bedroom, my heart feeling heavy and bruised. I knew where I stood now. It was time to start putting up walls and stop mistaking his physical passion and the care he showed me for love. Somewhere along the way, I had to protect myself and hold on to the hope that one day, someone who truly loves me will find me and love me openly.

When I walked back to the bed, Frederick looked up at me, his eyes narrowing slightly. ”What took you so long?”

”I had an upset stomach,” I lied smoothly, keeping my voice steady.

Frederick immediately raised his hand, as if he wanted to reach out and check on me, but I instinctively pulled back, putting some distance between us. I needed that distance to protect my heart.

Frederick noticed the change right away. ”Are you sure you’re okay?”

”Yes, I am,” I murmured, avoiding his gaze.

”Alright,” he said, though I could still see the doubt in his eyes.

I picked up my cup of tea from the side table and drank it quietly. The room fell silent again, the weight of everything left unsaid making the atmosphere between us feel heavier.

After a long moment, I finally broke the silence. ”Mr. Corvin... I have a request.”