Beastmen Are Crazy, So I Sell Them Therapy

Chapter 26: Chapter 25

Mikael, caught completely off guard, instinctively wrapped his arms around me to keep me from falling.

”...” Soren’s smile faltered. ”...Come here, Blanca.”

Nope.

I shook my head stubbornly and pointed accusingly at the OmniSync in his hand, then pointed at my neck, then shook my head again with exaggerated force.

’Change it.’

Soren stared at me for a second longer, then sighed softly. He lowered his gaze to the OmniSync and began tapping and swiping through its interface. The device flickered with light, its shape warping smoothly—

—and in the next second, the collar-like structure compacted and reformed into a small, sleek bracelet.

”There,” he said calmly. ”Now come here. I won’t do it again.”

I froze. ’...Bracelet?’

I peeked out from Kael’s arms, suspicious. The design was compact, light, and—most importantly—not anywhere near my neck.

Okay. That was... acceptable.

Before moving, I turned toward Mikael. If not for him, I would’ve already been collared like some fancy ornament.

I tried to thank him. ”Mi—Mika... nya-ang—”

My voice faltered halfway through. I blinked. Wait.

”...Mi...ka?” The sound came out clearer this time.

My eyes widened.

”Mika!” I repeated, louder, tail puffing up in excitement.

I could say it. Not ”nyang.” Not ”Shoren.” An entirely new word.

’Thank the heavens! I still have hope!!!’

”Mika!” I said again excitedly as I jumped down from his hands and approached Soren excitedly.

”Mika! Mika! Mika!” I chirped happily, wriggling out of his arms and hopping onto the floor to show off, repeating his name like it was the greatest achievement of my life.

Kael looked stunned—then smiled warmly, clearly touched.

But when I turned to Soren, ready to show him too—

...Why did he look like that?

His expression had darkened slightly.

Before I could think too hard about it, Soren bent down and picked me up with one arm. Then he turned his head slightly toward Kael. ”You can leave now.”

The temperature in the room seemed to drop.

Kael flinched instinctively and straightened. ”Yes, Master.”

As Mikael turned to leave, I leaned out of Soren’s arm and waved both paws enthusiastically. ”Mika! Nya-aang!” I called, tail swishing happily.

’Thank you! You’re my savior!’

Mikael paused at the door, glanced back at me, and gave a small, gentle smile before bowing and exiting.

”Blanca,” he said suddenly.

I turned to look at him, tilting my head innocently. My tail wagged, and I stretched out my arm toward him obediently, silently offering it.

’Go on. Put the bracelet on.’

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Soren pinched both of Blanca’s cheeks.

Not gently. Not lightly.

But just enough to be deeply annoying.

Blanca immediately exploded.

”Nya—ANG!!” she roared, tiny claws flailing as she tried to swat his hands away. Her ears flattened, tail puffed up, and her whole body radiated pure anger.

Soren didn’t move an inch.

”Say my name first,” he said calmly, fingers still pinching.

Blanca glared daggers at him. ”...Sho—Shoren! Nyang!” she snapped, clearly forced.

”No,” he corrected patiently. ”Soren.”

She inhaled, cheeks still squished, dignity already in shambles. ”Sho-ren!” she said with effort, syllables exaggerated.

”Again.”

Her eye twitched.

”...Shoren!” she said again, louder, more confident, clearly believing this was close enough and that he should accept it.

Soren froze. His fingers slowly loosened and dropped away from her cheeks.

What is he even doing?

She had just spoken Kael’s name earlier, sure—but this wasn’t a competition. He should be relieved. Happy, even. The little beast was finally making progress, breaking through the barrier that trapped her in that limited vocabulary.

And yet—

That irritating, unfamiliar tightness returned to his chest.

He exhaled quietly, rubbing his brow with his thumb. ’Get it together.’

Without another word, he slid the OmniSync bracelet onto her arm. The device adjusted automatically, shrinking and contouring itself perfectly to her small limb, its surface glowing softly before dimming into an elegant, unobtrusive sheen.

”There,” he said, voice steadier now. ”Is it better?”

Blanca immediately forgot the entire cheek-pinching incident.

Her eyes lit up like stars.

She lifted her arm, twisting it left and right, staring at the bracelet in awe. The OmniSync responded instantly, projecting a tiny holographic interface that followed her movements obediently.

”Nyang...!” she murmured in wonder.

She tapped it with one claw.

The hologram expanded.

She tapped again.

It rotated.

She gasped—actually gasped—and then began rapidly poking at it like she’d just discovered fire.

Soren watched silently as she nearly toppled over trying to chase the floating interface, tail swishing wildly behind her.

”...You like it?” he asked.

She nodded so hard her ears flopped.

Then, suddenly, she looked up at him, eyes bright, and lifted her arm proudly like a child showing off a new toy.

”Soren!” she said again, clear and loud.

This time—no hesitation.

Soren paused.

Then, very carefully, he reached out and patted her head.

”...Good,” he said.

Blanca beamed, utterly unaware that she had just dealt a critical hit straight to the heart of the empire’s most feared black dragon.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

I was so deeply absorbed in the OmniSync that I didn’t even realize Soren had picked me up again and was carrying me out of the room like a very expensive handbag.

I was busy poking a floating hologram that immediately multiplied into three floating holograms when Soren spoke to Mikael in that calm, commanding tone of his.

I didn’t catch the words, but Mikael nodded once and then vanished. He straight-up disappeared like a ninja who had remembered he left the stove on.

’...Is that normal behavior for butlers here?’

We kept walking until we reached the dining room. I finally glanced up, gave it a lazy scan, then immediately lost interest.

It was enormous. Like obnoxiously enormous.

The dining table alone was longer than the living room of the last client’s mansion I’d visited. Chandeliers floated mid-air. The ceiling was so high I could probably practice flying in here if I had wings. Everything screamed rich, powerful, and I don’t know what to do with my money.

I yawned internally.

Been there.

Seen that.

My family’s also rich with the exception of having high-tech furniture and floating islands. But we own mansions, hotels, private islands, and even museums. Big rooms no longer impressed me.

Then—poof.

Dozens of maids appeared out of nowhere.

I blinked.

They lined up in perfect formation, moving in synchronized silence like an elite assassination squad—but instead of weapons, they were holding trays. Mikael reappeared among them, calmly issuing instructions like a battlefield commander.

Ah.

So that’s what Soren ordered him to do.

Food.

I flicked my tail dismissively and returned my full attention to the dozen floating holograms orbiting around my head like obedient little satellites.

OmniSync was amazing.

Floating screens surrounded me as I explored menus, settings, data panels, personal profile, tabs, and functions.

I accidentally opened something that scanned my vitals, panicked for half a second, then closed it. Another swipe pulled up maps. Another opened financial data I absolutely did not understand. Numbers. Too many zeros. I closed that too.

Floating icons that responded to paw boops.

Soren, bless his survival instincts, didn’t interrupt me. He simply sat down and let me spiral into technological bliss.

Which was good.

Because the moment he did interrupt—

Something warm and soft was suddenly shoved into my mouth.

I froze. ”...?!”

I slowly looked up.

Soren was holding a fork. Calm and expressionless. Like feeding me was the most natural thing in the world.

I chewed then paused.

’...Oh. This tastes good.’

I immediately leaned forward and took another bite on my own.

Soren adjusted the fork without comment and continued feeding me like this had always been the arrangement.

I chewed happily, tail swaying. ’...Is this how cats feel like?’

You just sit there, do nothing, and your human-servant brings food directly to your mouth while you stare at something else?

If so, I take back everything bad I’ve ever thought about house cats. ’This life is fantastic.’

While Soren continued feeding me with efficiency, I scrolled through the empire’s one and only social media platform.

StrataLink.

Basically Facebook, X, Instagram, and whatever else mashed together into one chaotic feed.

First post.

THE BLACK DRAGON OF THE EMPIRE APPEARS AGAIN—

Scroll.

FIRST GENERAL SIGHTED RECEIVING IMPERIAL HONOR

Scroll.

WHY IS GENERAL SOREN MARKHELOV NEVER SEEN???

Scroll.

ROYAL BANQUET CONFIRMED—WILL THE FIRST GENERAL ATTEND???

Scroll.

Picture after picture filled my view.

Photos of Soren in uniform. Soren receiving medals. Soren standing on a battlefield surrounded by explosions. Dramatic captions. Fan edits. Fan art. Someone had even added sparkles to his eyes.

Comments exploded beneath every post.

”He’s so majestic!”

”Marry me, General!”

”Please step on me!”

’I would gladly serve myself underneath him.’

”I would gladly die under his command!”

”WHY IS HE NEVER AT THE BANQUETS?!”

I paused mid-scroll.

Then slowly glanced up.

The same legendary, terrifying, battle-hardened First General of the Empire was currently sitting across from me...

...carefully angling a spoon so it wouldn’t hit my whiskers.

He noticed me staring. ”...Eat,” he said calmly, offering another bite.

I opened my mouth obediently.

Crunch.

Back to scrolling.

StrataLink continued speculating wildly about his mysterious absence from the royal banquet due to ”urgent military affairs.”

Meanwhile, said ”urgent military affair” involved:

:Feeding a leopard

:Making sure she didn’t choke

:Letting her scroll social media

:Possibly worrying if she’d steal the spoon next

I stared at the screen again.

Then at him.

Then back at the screen.

...Sir.

Your public image and your current behavior do not match.

I took another bite, tail swishing smugly.

If the empire ever found out the truth, StrataLink would collapse.