Back Then, I Adored You

“It’s not difficult. Loving you is not difficult at all.

“And I was willing to put up with your aloofness and coldness, always because, back then, I adored you.”

Not too far away, one of the shops started playing music, and the lyrics drifted toward them.

“The most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen in my life is you—staring at you in a sea of strangers, when you look so foreign and familiar at the same time.”

Gu Yusheng looked at Qin Zhi’ai for a very long time before he spoke. “Xiao’ai, Xiaowang has asked me about our story over the past few years when we’re drinking together. I’ve told him some of it, and do you know what he says? ‘Master Gu, you gave up Secretary Qin for your dream, and you forgot about her because you couldn’t bear the loss. You missed her for the sake of your faith, and you let her down because of little troublemaker. Now that you’re finally married, after all that you had to endure, you’re about to leave behind a pregnant Secretary Qin to execute your mission. You’ve done so many things to let her down and wrong her, aren’t you regretful?’”

“Do you know how I responded to that?”

Qin Zhi’ai mimicked what Gu Yusheng had done previously; she gazed at him fixedly under the night sky and didn’t speak.

Gu Yusheng paused for a few seconds before he continued. His voice was intoxicating. “I said, ‘I don’t feel regretful.’”

“Even if I could choose again, I’d still make the same choice. Because, be it giving up, forgetting, or letting you down, it was all because I adored you back then. Even when you change your appearance and identity, I will recognize your eyes.” The cacophony around them seemed to disperse at this moment, leaving only the music from the shop.

Qin Zhi’ai’s eyes were misty. In fact, they’d been misty for most of the day, because of all the old places and stories they’d visited, including the feelings they had for each other that went back for 10 years. She was suddenly overwhelmed at that moment. They had already said many things to each other, but she still felt like she owed him something. She gazed at him and thought about it for a long time before she said, “Thank you, Yusheng.”

Thank you for coming into my life during my youth.

Thank you for keeping me in your heart when I was in love with you.

Thank you for choosing to walk beside me at the end.

Even though all she had said were those three simple words and she did not vocalize what she was thinking deep down, he seemed to understand. He blinked and only spoke after a long while. His words were the exact same as hers. “Thank you, Xiao’ai.”

Thank you for appearing by my side when I was at my loneliest.

Thank you for choosing to wait here for me when I gave you up.

Thank you for returning to my side at the end.

At that moment, everything they had been through flashed before their eyes like film footage being played before their eyes. They stood beside the road staring into each other’s eyes quietly. They didn’t speak.

The two of them had already memorized what each other looked like, but they were acting like they had not seen enough of each other. They kept staring at each other, as though they wanted to do so until the end of time.

“Our story is not considered beautiful, but it’s unforgettable.”

……

Lu Bancheng went to all the places he could think of. He even circled Wu Hao’s company, but there were no traces of Xu Wennuan.