Back Then, I Adored You

By the time Qin Zhi’ai had finished reading her book, Gu Yusheng still hadn’t woken up.

Qin Zhi’ai sat on the sofa for a long time thinking about how she still hadn’t written back to Mr. S since she had received his last letter some time ago.

With a piece of writing paper tucked into the book she had just read, she took a pen from her bag, squatted at the tea table, and began a letter to Mr. S.

She first apologized to him, saying that she had been busy recently, with little time to write back. Then she inquired about how everything was going with him.

She mentioned the movie he had recommended in his previous letter, that she wanted to see it, especially because of how popular it had become, but unfortunately she hadn’t had time yet.

She also told him that her close friend was going to get married and she was going to be her bridesmaid. She wrote about how happy she was for her friend.

And she especially thanked him for the photos of the snow scenery at Changbai Mountain, which he’d taken especially for her. She also mentioned that she had been looking forward to going to Changbai Mountain when she had a chance in the future.

Because New Year’s Day had recently passed, she wrote some wishes for him and, with the Spring Festival less than three weeks away, she expressed her concern about any tasks he might be assigned during the festival.

At the end of the letter, recalling the touching words of his, she stopped for a moment before continuing to write.

“Mr. S, I hadn’t expected you to be such an affectionate and good man. I believe that you’ll be blessed, and you will meet a wonderful girl in the future. You will be deeply in love with each other.”

And then Qin Zhi’ai picked up on the joke they’d been passing back and forth in their letters. “Mr. S, I had thought of you as a man of great literary talent. Did you not get perfect scores in the Chinese exams when you were in school?”

Qin Zhi’ai had meant to finish up but, when she raised her head, she glimpsed Gu Yusheng lying on the bed. She gently pursed her lips, lowered her head, and continued to write a few words.

“Mr. S, I met the boy I loved again.

“I suffer for loving him every day. I don’t want to care so much about him, but I can’t control myself.

“Do you know, Mr. S, if two people aren’t equally in love with each other, the one who shows the affection for the other will always feel aggrieved?”

Qin Zhi’ai put down her pen and read her letter carefully from beginning to end. After confirming that it had no mistakes, she picked up the pen again. As soon as she was ready to sign “A,” she heard a creak coming from the bed.

She looked sideways at Gu Yusheng, who was awake and struggling to sit up.

Having probably gotten up because he saw her writing something, he asked, “What are you writing about?”

Qin Zhi’ai noticed that his eyes were fixed on the paper in front of her. She knew that he couldn’t clearly see the words. And she knew that even if he saw them, he wouldn’t know that he was the man she was talking about, but she was still compelled to keep her secret from coming to light. She subconsciously covered the letter with a book, shaking her head and replying, “Nothing.”

He said “hmm” in a low voice, looked at the corner of the paper under the book for a while, and then turned away.

She had moved swiftly to cover up the writing on the paper, but Gu Yusheng knew it was a letter.

Does she have a pen pal, like me, and they write to each other?