Back Then, I Adored You

Gu Yusheng lit a cigarette and raised his eyes without answering.

Seated next to him, his old bunkmate spoke up. “Single without a doubt. Our Captain Gu is a bachelor by choice!”

Perhaps it was the encounter with her in the afternoon that triggered his memory of little troublemaker. Or it might have been the influence of alcohol that made him slightly melancholy. Gu Yusheng, who’d been reticent for most of the night, abruptly said, “Not anymore.”

His outburst startled the group, and all eyes turned toward him.

Gu Yusheng acted oblivious. He took a drag from his cigarette and completed his announcement. “I’m not against the idea of marriage anymore.”

Veiled by the cloud of smoke he had exhaled, everyone in the room became a blur. The scenes and feelings of that night began to unfold faintly before his eyes.

We’d been strolling along the streets when I kissed her deeply after she had finished singing a song.

Little troublemaker, not till now did I realize that nobody is single by choice. They simply haven’t met the person who makes them want to walk down the aisle.

In that instant, he became sad and resumed forlornly. “Because of a girl.”

The boisterous room quieted down somewhat. After gulping his beer, someone asked, “Captain Gu, so do you intend to marry that girl?”

Gu Yusheng blinked and did not reply.

Another person followed up by asking, “Captain Gu, when do you plan to get married? We will definitely show up to see it for ourselves—our new elegant sister-in-law.”

“Captain Gu, let’s get married on the same day,” said his pal who had mentioned earlier that he would be tying the knot at the end of the year.

Gu Yusheng’s fingertips twitched, and the ashes fell from the cigarette into his mug of beer. Yet it seemed as if he felt nothing. Lifting his mug, he chugged down the beer in one go before replying, “She… left for a distant place. I might have to wait longer.”

Without grasping the true meaning of what he had said, the group pressed on. “Where did she go? On a long road trip? Or is she assigned somewhere for business?”

Gu Yusheng leaned into the sofa. Puffing out a perfect circle, he stared at the disco lights ceaselessly flashing on the ceiling. After a long pause, he murmured slowly in a husky voice, as though he were talking to himself, but clear enough for everyone to hear, “How I wish that she is only on a long road trip or a business assignment. If that were the case, at least there would be a definite return. At least there would be something for me to look forward to… a return date or something…”

Gu Yusheng seemed incapable of continuing further. After a pause, he smiled wryly and, with a face of indifference, he resumed, “But I want to wait for her indefinite return.”

Even he didn’t know when she would return.

Such a long and endless wait will always wear one’s patience thin.

He had always lacked patience, yet he was unwavering about waiting for her.

Such a long and endless wait is best at breaking one’s heart.

Even with his heart full of scars, he had never considered giving up.

Gu Yusheng remained silent for a long time. Eventually, he blinked and started to speak again. With a cigarette in his mouth, his voice was barely audible. “I’ve always been waiting for her.”

Waiting for a person whose return date was unknown.

Only waiting for her indefinite return.