Against the Gods

The corners of the old man’s lips tugged as he leaped to his feet. “You, little girl! It’s only been a few years since we last met. When did you learn how to tell lies?”

“Do you know how long I’ve devoted myself to the way of cooking? Ah? Over a million years! Do you even grasp how long a million years is? In my eyes, those so-called chef masters serving in the Kingdoms of God don’t even count as initiates in my eyes!”

“There are only a handful of people in this world who have lived longer than I, and out of all these people, there isn’t a single person whose attainment in the way of cooking is greater than mine! Not even close!”

His beard nearly stood up in reverse as he jumped. His reaction was such it was like someone had touched his reverse scale.

Yun Che looked thoughtful.

“But...” Hua Caili showed no signs of having received her “education”, however. She said both innocently and honestly, “I respect and love you so much, Uncle Liu Xiao. I would never lie to you. It’s simply the truth that Big Brother Yun’s food is tastier than yours.”

Before the old man could puff up like a cat’s tail again, she moved next to Yun Che and stood so close that they were almost pressed up against each other. “Right, big brother Yun?”

It was only now that the old man glanced at Yun Che as if he just noticed his existence. One look was all he needed for all of his puffed hair to relax, and him to cackle wildly like a demon:

“This boy? Huohahahaha! He’s not even older than a speck of dust under my fingernails, and you dare to say that his cooking skill is greater than mine?”

“Your cultivation has improved by a lot, so why is it that your intelligence seems to have receded instead? If he can make a Liu Xiao Immortal Soaring Flaky Biscuit that’s more delicious than mine, then I’ll write my name in reverse from here on out!”

“You’re trying to cheat again, Uncle Liu Xiao!” Hua Caili’s eyes curled into crescents. “So what if you write your name in reverse? It’s not like your name is going to change, nor is it going to cost you anything! If you’re this unconvinced, then dare you make a real bet with me?”

“Another bet?” The old man’s eyes clearly widened a little.

“We’ll be betting on your greatest skill, cooking.” Hua Caili smiled. “I bet that big brother Yun will make a Liu Xiao Immortal Soaring Flaky Biscuit that’s tastier than yours. Of course, if you don’t dare, then forget it. I’m just a small junior. I wouldn’t dare to put my senior in a difficult position.”

“Hahaha...” The old man bared his full mouth of yellow teeth and let out a strange laugh. “You think you can spur me into following your bet?... You’re on!”

“If this boy can beat my cooking, then I’ll call you uncle—fah! I’ll call you grandma from now on!”

Hua Caili hurriedly waved her hands. “Oh no no, you are my most respected senior, Uncle Liu Xiao. I cannot make you address me like that. If... I’m just saying... if you really lose to big brother Yun, then all I ask is that you grant a small wish of mine. Hehe.”

“You actually think I would lose??”

He let out another strange cry, but he was no longer laughing. Instead, he looked Yun Che up and down as if recognizing him once more.

He knew very well that Hua Caili wasn’t one to talk without thinking, nor was she one to make a baseless lie.

Still, to say that this brat could beat him in cooking?

He would rather believe that this boy’s cultivation was strong enough that he could crush him, a High Priest, with one finger.

“Boy!” The old man did not ask for Yun Che’s name or origin. He simply side-eyed him and said, “When I was your age, I was still playing with mud. It would be pure bullying if I were to duel against you seriously, so...”

He pointed to the back. “This old man has nothing except the greatest hoard of food ingredients in the entire Abyss! Use them to make a dish, any dish. If you can make a single dish that can earn a passing grade from me, then I’ll judge that the girl has won the bet! Just look at that bratty smile of hers. She must be plotting something nefarious!”

The old man’s words were casual and boorish, but it was clear that Hua Caili held a very special place in his heart. He knew that Hua Caili was looking to make a request from him and so gave her the opportunity directly.

After all, he was the judge and jury in this bet. If he wanted to, Yun Che could give him a rock, and he could still say that it had earned a passing grade.

Yun Che bowed but did not respond. Instead, he scanned his surroundings for a bit before lifting his hand and sending out a dozen gentle cyclones. They flew toward the piles of haphazardly placed food ingredients, rummaged around for a few breaths, and brought thirty seven food ingredients of all shapes and colors back to the trio.

“Senior, these are the thirty seven ingredients you used to create the ‘Liu Xiao Immortal Soaring Flaky Biscuit’, am I right?”

“...”

The old man, one of the four High Priests of the Pure Land, the one they called High Priest Liu Xiao, did not answer immediately. His ancient eyes kept widening until he looked like he had seen a ghost in broad daylight.

Hua Caili’s lips were opened slightly, and her eyes were quivering with deep astonishment as well. It did not take a genius to notice High Priest Liu Xiao’s excessive reaction to know that Yun Che had deduced the ingredients of the “Liu Xiao Immortal Soaring Flaky Biscuit” correctly. There were thirty seven ingredients though! How did he get every single one of them correct!?

She only knew that Yun Che was a master at cooking whose food was better than even High Priest Liu Xiao. However, even she did not realize he was this good until now.

High Priest Liu Xiao suddenly turned around and shouted, “Yuanying, get over here!”

Divine Attendant Yuanying had just finished cleaning up when he answered his master’s call and dashed inside the building. “You asked for me, master—”

”Did you tell him the recipe of the Liu Xiao Immortal Soaring Flaky Biscuit?!”

“What?” Yuanying looked confused and innocent. “You disparage me, master! I would not dare to leak your recipes even if he has the gall of the heavens... wait a second. Didn’t you finish the Liu Xiao Immortal Soaring Flaky Biscuit like, just now? You also just named it. Where would I find a recipe to give away even if I wanted to?”

“... Get out.”

“Kay!”

Yuanying zipped out of the house as quick as lightning.

After Yuanying was gone, High Priest Liu Xiao looked back and forth between Yun Che and the thirty seven food ingredients, muttering, “Not bad. No wonder the lass dares to taunt me so.”

Yun Che hurriedly expressed humility. “You flatter me, senior. I am just exceptionally sensitive toward smell, that’s all. Anyway, I shall now attempt to recreate your Liu Xiao Immortal Soaring Flaky Biscuit using the same ingredients.”

With that said, Yun Che took a step back and summoned a cyclone. One by one and following a certain order, the thirty seven ingredients were crushed, refined, and purified.

When Cang Shuhe taught Yun Che how to cook, she once praised him saying that his advantage in this way was unparalleled under the heavens.

It wasn’t flattery. It was an irrefutable truth.

It was because he possessed the universe’s greatest power of tempering and purification, the Sky Poison Pearl. It could easily process any food ingredient into its ideal, perfect form.

The other important factor of the way of cooking was heat control. As the bearer of the Heretic God Profound Veins, he too possessed an unrivaled advantage in this regard. Anyone else could train for ten lifetimes and still never reach his level.

The Sky Poison Pearl existed at a level where even a High Priest could not possibly perceive its tempering and purifying aura even though it was right in front of him. Therefore, all High Priest Liu Xiao saw was the ingredients being stripped, cut, and blown until only the essence was left by Yun Che’s profound energy.

Not only was the process impossibly elaborate and precise, it was happening at an unbelievably fast rate as well.

High Priest Liu Xiao literally did not have the time to catch his breath from the start until the end.

Next, a crimson flame appeared on Yun Che’s palm. As he flipped his palm around and moved his fingers rapidly, the flame split into dozens of fiery snakes—all of them boasting a different size and heat level—and swirled around the food ingredients for a time. At times, they would move closer to the ingredients. At times, it would go away. The fiery snakes burned bright or extinguished themselves from time to time as well.

Finally, the fiery snakes returned to Yun Che’s palm. A few breaths later, they were all gone.

Yun Che slowly opened his hand. Sitting at the center of his palm was a pair of flaky biscuits that were exactly identical in terms of color, but completely different in terms of shape.

A faint aroma spread throughout the building. When it reached High Priest Liu Xiao’s nostrils, the old man actually gulped involuntarily.

“I’m done.”

Yun Che passed the first biscuit to Hua Caili. “You first, Caili.”

This flaky biscuit was unbelievably exquisite compared to the dirty, ugly-looking lump High Priest Liu Xiao had fed Hua Caili earlier. It was shaped like a girl holding a moon, and the moon was half hidden behind some clouds. It was both beautiful and meaningful.

“Wah! It’s so cute!” Hua Caili’s eyes glittered like stars as she carefully, very carefully held it between her palms. “It’s so cute I don’t even want to eat it anymore.”

Yun Che smiled. “Delicious food should be excellent not just in taste and smell, but also appearance. It’s a bigger factor than most people think. That’s why I decided to go a little overboard.”

“Although the food ingredients are the same, my methods and combinations are quite different from senior’s. Therefore, I dare not call it the ‘Liu Xiao Immortal Soaring Flaky Biscuit’. Instead, I’ll name it the... ‘Moon Reflects Cloud Flaky Biscuit’.”

While Yun Che was talking, Hua Caili was already taking a small bite. She immediately looked up with a look of wonder, the starlight in her eyes shining so bright it was blinding. “It’s good! It’s so. Good! Not only does it look good, smell good, and have a good name, its taste is... many a bit[1] better than Uncle Liu Xiao’s Soaring Immortal Flaky Biscuit!”

It was only now that High Priest Liu Xiao’s bulging eyes slowly slid back into his eye sockets.

As a man who had devoted himself to the way of cooking for over a million years, he knew far more than Hua Caili just how unbelievable Yun Che’s cooking technique was.

Before Yun Che could even say a thing, he grabbed the other biscuit from Yun Che’s palm—his movements stiffening a little when its fragrant aroma hit his nostrils again—and tossed it into his mouth.

He took a bite... and his old eyes threatened to fall out of his eye sockets once more.

Over a dozen different flavors had exploded inside his mouth and radiated across his taste buds in an instant. He could clearly feel his own soul tingling in response to the wonderful explosion of flavor.

As the man who believed that the title of ‘Greatest Chef God of the World’ was far more important than ‘High Priest’, he of course had the skills to match his self-proclaimed title. He could accurately identify exactly which taste came from which food ingredient, and as far as he could tell, the sensual adjustments Yun Che made could only be described as perfect. The mixture especially made his soul feel intoxicated, and his body numb to the very core.

It was a feeling of ”immortal soaring” that not even his “Liu Xiao Immortal Soaring Flaky Biscuit” could truly achieve.

He was stunned. Well and truly stunned. He stammered as he stared fixedly at Yun Che, “I-Is this really an impromptu creation?”

He had spent over a thousand years and tens of thousands of attempts to create his perfect “Liu Xiao Immortal Soaring Flaky Biscuit”, and this boy...

Yun Che seemed to have mistaken his words and said, “Junior has spent most of this life wandering and so rarely had a chance to experience this many precious food ingredients. Therefore, I can only do what I can do and hope for the best. I’m sorry to have disappointed you.”

He thinks he disappointed me?

High Priest Liu Xiao only wished that the boy had disappointed him.

Not only was this the boy’s first attempt at his biscuit, he had completed it in an unbelievably short time using whatever method he felt was best. And yet... the flaky biscuit he created had crushed the hard work he had poured over a thousand years to create and even the million years he invested into this way.

Who was disappointing who, really?

Before High Priest Liu Xiao could say anything, Hua Caili said, “Big brother Yun, why don’t you make a Four-colored Rainbow Cloud Soup for Uncle Liu Xiao? I bet he’ll be very surprised by it.”

“Sure.”

Yun Che smiled and produced four dark-colored leaves on his palm.

When High Priest Liu Xiao looked, he was surprised to find that it was four Bitter Leaves, one of the most common plants in the Abyss!

It was impossible to grow the kind of plants found in the Pure Land and the Kingdoms of God anywhere else. Naturally, the few plants that could survive the harsh environment of the Abyss were resistant toward abyssal dust to an extent and boasted extreme resilience. Unfortunately, they were also extremely bitter, and while they could be used to adjust the taste of a food, only the most desperate could bear to eat them as they were.

“Just... four Bitter Leaves?” High Priest Liu Xiao stammered like a student who was just embarking on the way of cooking.

“Four is enough.”

Yun Che swiped his fingers across the four leaves repeatedly, tempering and purifying them without a trace. Dozens of profound qi rotations later, the four Bitter Leaves had been ground into four tiny globes of juices of differing color and size.

Yun Che summoned the cold into his palm and formed a small and delicate ice bowl. Then, he made a grabbing motion and somehow filled the bowl with half a bowl of clear water. Next, he poured the four globs of leaf juice into the ice bowl one after another, allowing them to scatter and blend naturally. With that, a bowl of four-colored ice soup was complete.

He handed the ice bowl to High Priest Liu Xiao and said, “The Four-colored Rainbow Cloud Soup is complete. Please give it a taste, High Priest Liu Xiao.”

1. Not a mistake. She didn’t want to say it’s a billion times better so she used ‘a bit’, but put many in front of it. ☜