After the Immortal Disappeared

Chapter 174: Chapter 175: Too Many Lice Don’t Bite

The way it worked with such practiced ease, it was like a master chef with thirty years of experience in a grand restaurant, turning its craft into a one-man show.

Hee Lingchuan was actually seeing an air of calm composure in a monkey.

Sugar Elder, watching from the side, nodded repeatedly, stroking the long fur under his chin and murmuring his approval.

A short while later, the fire went out and the pill was formed. The furnace reverted to the size of a small toy.

The ape, Lingguang, gestured for Hee Lingchuan to hold out his palm. It then upended the furnace, pouring the Pills into his hand.

Four small pills.

Lingguang even slapped the bottom of the furnace twice, and one more pill fell out.

Sugar Elder looked very pleased. ”It refined an extra one. Excellent.”

Hee Lingchuan examined the pills in his palm. They were uniform in size, with smooth surfaces, and a black color that held a faint golden glint.

The Thousand Firming Pill was a remedy for injuries, its name implying it could stabilize a thousand wounds. It was far more expensive than Antiseptic Medicine, and much more effective. He had used it twice himself and had also seen the Great Wind Army use it during the battle in the River Valley of the Panlong Dream Realm.

For it to be a standard-issue remedy for the Great Wind Army in the field, its quality and efficacy had to be the best of the best. Hee Lingchuan recalled that the Thousand Firming Pills the army medic Aluo had produced were nearly identical in quality to the ones in his hand. Bringing them closer to smell, he detected the same pungent note within the medicinal aroma.

Of course, the best way to be sure was to test it himself.

Hee Lingchuan drew his dagger and slashed a deep cut into his own arm.

Fresh blood immediately began to gush out.

He crushed a Thousand Firming Pill and applied the Medicinal Powder to the wound. A cooling sensation immediately counteracted the stinging pain.

Very quickly, the bleeding stopped.

Hee Lingchuan waited for three or five breaths, then brushed away the froth on top. He discovered that the powder, upon contact with blood, seemed to have transformed into a thin, sticky gel that completely sealed the wound.

Lingguang added, ”It will be fully healed by evening. In two days, there won’t even be a scar.”

The effect was even better than Hee Lingchuan had expected.

Just as he was about to speak, Assistant Liu suddenly tugged his sleeve. ”Eldest Young Master, a word in private.”

The two walked aside, where Assistant Liu muttered in a low voice, ”I kept thinking the name ’Lingguang’ sounded familiar, and now I remember. This Medicinal Ape’s Alchemy Skill is indeed excellent, but... but there’s a reason it’s still here.”

”What’s wrong with it?”

”Its four previous employers all died. And not long after hiring it, they all met violent, untimely deaths. The unluckiest was the most recent one. A month and a half ago, he was identified as a partisan of the Grand Commandant and his entire family was executed. All seventy-six of them were cut in half at the waist, their bodies left in the public market for three whole days. People noticed the pattern and started calling it the jinxed monkey. After that, no one dared to hire it again.”

Hee Lingchuan raised an eyebrow. ”So, you’re saying the deaths of its previous employers weren’t directly caused by it.”

”But it’s a bad omen,” Assistant Liu said with a soft, bitter smile. ”You must reconsider, my lord. Or perhaps we can come back another day.”

”I won’t be in Shihuan for many days. Besides, I have Primordial Power protecting my body. Even a curse can’t harm me.”

’In truth,’ Hee Lingchuan thought, ’a peaceful and wealthy family might fear it like the plague, but I’ve already drawn the absolute worst fortunes from the Old Turtle Demon—two of them, in fact. Whether I hire this monkey or not, misfortune is probably not going to leave me alone.’

’When you’re covered in lice, you stop feeling the bites. What the hell did he have to be afraid of?’

’Besides, did he even have any other choice? This was the last Medicinal Ape available.’

With that thought, he walked back to face Lingguang. ”Your skill is impressive, just what I’m looking for. Do you have any requirements, or is there anything else I should know?”

Lingguang faltered for a moment, then saw Sugar Elder standing behind Hee Lingchuan, winking and making faces at it.

’Don’t say it. Whatever you do, don’t say it.’

Lingguang tilted its head in thought, but still said, ”I have no special requirements, but all of my previous employers have passed away. I felt I should let you know.”

’It’s hopeless,’ Sugar Elder thought, slapping his forehead. ’Why does this kid have to be so honest?’

Hee Lingchuan asked in surprise, ”Did you kill them?”

Lingguang’s eyes went wide. ”Of course... not!”

”As long as it wasn’t on purpose,” Eldest Young Master Hee said dismissively, turning to Sugar Elder. ”I think Lingguang is great. It’s honest for a monkey. How about it, shall we sign the contract?”

Sugar Elder was overjoyed. He never expected this rich young master to be so bold as to not mind the curse. Truly, you can’t judge a person by their appearance. ”Excellent, excellent, one moment!” He shot up a tree like a wisp of smoke, showing none of his previous senility.

”Eldest Young Master Hee, you are truly—” Assistant Liu had fulfilled his duty to warn him; now it was time to fulfill his duty to praise him. ”—resolute!”

’Truly unafraid of death.’

”My fate is my own, it can’t be decided by...” Hee Lingchuan almost said ”a monkey,” but remembering the Chishin School’s anti-discrimination stance, he quickly corrected himself, ”...by anyone else.”

Lingguang’s eyes instantly lit up. It stood up ramrod straight and gave him a deep bow. ”Thank you!”

It was sick and tired of others fearing it like a ferocious beast.

’This young master is a good person.’

Just then, the old monkey returned, holding three red booklets. Hee Lingchuan took one and saw that it was a contract of employment, prepared in triplicate. It stated that he was hiring Medicine Ape Ling Guang of the Chishin School to be the Hee Family’s Pharmacist, with a salary of fifteen taels of patterned silver per month, increasing by ten percent annually, with room and board included.

Lingguang’s meals also had requirements: five jin of high-quality fruits and melons daily. The master’s family was to treat it with the reverence due a Sacrificial Offering; it could not be beaten, scolded, or regarded as a slave or pet.

’A Medicinal Ape’s status is, of course, different from a cat or a dog!’

In return, as the employee, Lingguang was to diligently refine medicine for Hee Lingchuan. The contract also included detailed requirements for the furnace failure rate. If Lingguang could not meet them, the Chishin School would provide a free replacement Medicinal Ape for Hee Lingchuan—no, that’s wrong, a replacement Pharmacist.

It took Hee Lingchuan a quarter of an hour to read through it. ”These terms are certainly... comprehensive.” ’Long-winded, and a boilerplate contract at that.’

Sugar Elder said in his booming voice, ”The terms must be comprehensive. A clear agreement beforehand prevents getting cheated later.”

Fuzzy Peach, standing to the side, pursed his lips. ’The monkeys probably suffered huge losses dealing with humans before, which is why they’re so desperately patching up their employment contracts now.’

Hee Lingchuan and Lingguang both signed and fingerprinted all three copies of the contract, with each of the three parties keeping one. Sugar Elder put away his copy, patted Lingguang’s shoulder, and said with great earnestness, ”You do a good job this time. Your Martial Uncle doesn’t want to see you again for several years.”

With tears in its eyes, Lingguang nodded emphatically.

Hee Lingchuan extended a hand to it. ”Well then, Pharmacist, please come home with me.”

The monkey put away its contract, leaped onto his shoulder, and tipped its conical hat at Sugar Elder. ”Take care of yourself, old man!”

As Hee Lingchuan’s party walked down the mountain, the chattering of monkeys followed them all the way through the forest. The old monkeys on the memorial archway were also beaming with delight. Clearly, Hee Lingchuan had solved a major problem for them.

’Damn it,’ he thought. ’If I’d known, I would’ve haggled the price down.’

Hee Lingchuan got into the carriage and instructed the driver to make another trip to the market to purchase medicinal herbs.

Whether one was a Martial Artist or a Mage, one needed the aid of medicine in their Cultivation. Hee Lingchuan knew very well that if he wanted his Cultivation to advance by leaps and bounds, eating Pills like they were meals was the norm. Having a good Pill Master in his service was simply too important.

「Several double-hours later, at a private courtyard in the Songyang Prefecture estate.」

Marquis Songyang was reading in his study when he suddenly heard a FLUTTER. Outside the window, a fat little bird took flight, shaking a shower of snow from the branches.

Then, his steward hurried in to report:

”My Lord, someone from Yangg Mountain is here.”

Marquis Songyang was blunt. ”I’m busy. I won’t see them.”

”They heard that the Hee father and son have arrived in Shihuan and want to ask for intelligence.”

”Intelligence on the Hee father and son?” Marquis Songyang closed his book. ”Hee Chunhua’s family of four is staying at the Hua’an Inn. His contingent, including dependents, numbers six hundred and forty people in total, billeted at the post stations in the north and west of the city. Seven military officers are staying at the same inn as Hee Chunhua. The Chief Steward Hee has at least four guards by his side—and that’s just the ones we can see. It’s unclear if he has any Hidden Guards.”

”Since he returned Zhu Xiyan’s granddaughter, this new Grand Steward on his way to his northern post has already received nine waves of visitors. I believe he intends to build a wide network of contacts and cozy up to the Royal Court.”

”Hee Chunhua’s own Cultivation is ordinary, but a few of the Martial Artists under him are quite skilled. Oh, right. The Zhu Family is hosting a banquet at Luming Garden tonight to welcome their newly returned granddaughter. The Hee Family is ninety-nine percent certain to attend.” The Marquis instructed, ”Just relay what I’ve said.”

The steward acknowledged the order, then asked, ”The Hee family’s eldest son came to Songyang Prefecture’s estate today. Should I tell them that as well?”

”Why would I tell them that?” The Marquis scoffed. ”This is business for the Songyang Prefecture. What does it have to do with them?”

The steward did as he was told and withdrew.

Half an hour later, he returned to report again. ”I have relayed your message verbatim, but the guests from Yangg Mountain would like to know if you will be attending the event at Luming Garden tomorrow night.”

”It would be inconvenient for me to go. Let them do as they see fit,” the Marquis said languidly. ”Oh, and give them another piece of news they’ll surely be interested in: a very important person will also be at the welcoming banquet tonight. And that person is...”

”What? You spent fifteen taels of silver just to hire me a monkey!”

Madam Ying stared at Hee Lingchuan... and at the monkey in the conical hat on his shoulder, suppressing the urge to slam the table. Her voice, however, still rose three octaves.

Hee Lingchuan replied with a straight face, ”Mother, the Chishin School doesn’t like it when people call them monkeys.”

Lingguang’s Daoist Practice was far shallower than the old ape Sugar Elder’s. Faced with the furious Madam Ying, it didn’t dare to argue its case and could only shrink behind Hee Lingchuan’s neck.

’A monkey is a monkey, and now I’m not even allowed to say it?’ Though the monkey had taken off its conical hat and bowed to her very politely, Madam Ying’s face remained stern. ”Even in the National Capital, do you know what kind of excellent guards you could hire for fifteen taels of silver?”

”Lingguang isn’t a guard, but a Pharmacist. Mom, in the future, whenever you have a headache, a fever, feel weak and tired, or even during that time of the month when you feel cold and have stomach pains, you can have it refine medicine on the spot...”

Madam Ying couldn’t listen anymore. She grabbed two dates and threw them at his face. ”Get out!”

They were two large, bright red dates that had just been steeped in hot water. Hee Lingchuan caught them, handed them to the monkey, yelped his assent, and beat a hasty retreat.

Before he disappeared from view, Madam Ying saw the monkey stuff the dates into its mouth, its cheeks bulging.

Hee Chunhua presented a cup of warm tea, looking completely unperturbed. ”My dear, calm down.”

”Look at that good son of yours!” Madam Ying took the cup and took a large GULP. ”He’s finding ever more creative ways to squander our fortune!”

After getting along these past few months, she had thought her eldest son had finally changed and become sensible. Who knew he would get even worse the moment he arrived in Shihuan City. Fifteen taels of silver! That was fifteen thousand large coins! How many monkeys could you buy with that?

And that was its monthly salary!

”There’s even a contract! Our family actually issued a formal contract to a monkey! It’s the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard!” The more Madam Ying thought about it, the angrier she became. ”We’ll deduct those fifteen taels from his monthly allowance. Don’t even think about getting another cent from me!”