13 Mink Street

Chapter 103: Karon’s Path

He slept deeply, so deeply that he did not even dream.

After waking, Karon sat up in his bed, silently staring at the patterns on the blanket in front of him. He just spaced out for a while before getting out of bed. He went to the washroom, took off his clothes, and began to shower.

Pu’er was startled awake where she had been sleeping at the foot of the bed. She yawned, and then jumped onto the nightstand and pressed the bell with a paw.

She could not be bothered to return to the foot of the bed, and instead simply slipped into Karon’s still-warm blankets and went back to sleep.

When Karon finished his shower, Kevin, the golden retriever, entered with a white towel in his mouth. Karon took it and began drying himself as the golden retriever used his paws to spread an anti-slip mat at the washroom doorway.

After Karon got dressed and came out, the bedroom door was pushed open, and Alfred entered carrying breakfast. Karon sat on the sofa and looked at the breakfast arrayed on the coffee table before him. He was hungry, so he stopped being picky and ate in silence.

This time, he left barely anything behind.

“Young Master, shall I prepare more?”

“No, I’m full.” Karon took a damp towel from Alfred, wiped his mouth, folded it, and then cleaned his hands.

At that moment, Pu’er finally awoke from her second nap. She stretched her limbs while giving an exaggerated yawn, then jumped down from the bed and approached the sofa. The cat’s amber eyes remained locked on Karon as she studied him intently.

He rose from the sofa and went over to the room with the billiards table to open the window. Cold morning wind swept in, but since he had just eaten, he did not feel too cold.

Alfred went to set up the balls.

“No need. I just want some air.”

“Understood, Young Master.”

“Yesterday I completed the Divine Seeker revelation, and I heard the voice of the God of Order.”

Alfred did not speak.

“Woof!”

“What was the revelation the God of Order gave you?” Pu’er pressed curiously, like an aunt fussing over your job placement after graduation.

Karon shook his head. “I didn’t listen.”

The dog’s eyes bulged.

Pu’er tilted her head.

Alfred;s expression said that this was only to be expected, though he subtly lifted his chest.

“Because I think what he said was wrong.” Karon did not want to explain further, and simply pointed back at the bed. “You can look at my notebook.”

“Woof?”

“Really? We can read your notes?” Pu’er asked.

“Yes, Young Master.” Alfred walked to the bed and picked up the notebook. He crouched down, spreading it open. A cat head leaned in from his left and a dog head leaned in from his right. “Divine Seeker is, in truth, a deception.”

When they finished reading, Alfred began to pray. He was a demonkin with no religious faith, though he had briefly attached himself to the Church of Order.

Pu’er stared at Karon in disbelief. “So, Karon, I want to know... uh... no, I want to hear from you: what do you plan to do next?”

If this notebook was ever circulated externally, Karon would be hunted down by every orthodox church. If the fall of the Church of Light had come about from an unspoken consensus within ecclesiastical circles, since the overwhelming power of the Church of Light in the last epoch had put too much pressure on everyone else, then what Karon had revealed in his notebook was an attack on the foundation of the churches as a whole.

He was questioning the gods, and a god could not be questioned.

Karon sat on the billiards table while gazing out at a distant lawn, his voice calm. “I will keep walking the path of the Church of Order.”

There was no changing that, because he was already standing on that path.

“And then?” Pu’er asked.

“Then I’ll walk it while I prove it.”

The golden retriever sat down and looked at Karon with a thoughtful gaze. Pu’er jumped onto the billiards table and moved in front of him. “Maybe I should tell you not to think too much, and not to walk such a rebellious road, because it will bring you too much unknown and too much danger.”

“Maybe?” Karon asked.

“But I don’t want to.” Pu’er shook her tail. “Because I’ve watched Tiz suffer for so many years. More than once, he mentioned that he took the wrong road, and no longer had the chance to turn back, so I think this is good. You’ve already proved that your own talent is not much worse than Tiz’s. To me, you’re almost exactly like Tiz when he was young. I don’t want you to end up repeating Tiz’s cycle of suffering. I don’t want to see you resolute when you’re young, lost in middle age, and resigned in old age. That should also be what Tiz wants, and what he expects of you.”

Pu’er lowered herself at Karon’s feet to rest her head against his shin. “If you think it’s wrong, then go fix it. If you think it’s right, then hold to it. I can understand you, and I’m willing to support you...”

As she spoke, Pu’er could not help shooting a glance at Alfred, remembering what he had said yesterday. That radio demon had not been wrong. He always maintained unwavering belief in Karon, so he was the one who resonated with Karon most easily.

“In our lives, we often start just to start. Only after we’ve walked halfway do we begin to wonder what the point was, and even then, it’s usually just a reason we weave for ourselves, so we can keep going out of inertia. It’s only when we’re close to the end of the road that we look back, feeling bittersweet while wondering if it would have been better to choose a different road at the beginning.

“So why do we save that bittersweet regret for the end, when it no longer means anything?

“When I advanced to the ninth level of the family faith system, I regretted it deeply. I regretted that I could have chosen a church faith system instead, because only at the end did I realize that my ancestor could no longer carry all my thoughts.”

A smile touched Karon’s lips. He reached out and stroked Pu’er’s head. She closed her eyes, quietly enjoying it.

The golden retriever stood up and went to a cabinet. He took the ace of spades that had been set aside during their first meeting, then returned to Karon, his tail wagging with anticipation.

“You want to play frisbee?” Karon asked.

The golden retriever nodded.

Karon took the card from the dog’s mouth and threw it in the other direction.

The golden retriever turned to chase it. After running just a few steps, he sprang up and caught it cleanly. Upon landing, he held the card with the face to Karon, showing the ace of spades.

Karon chuckled and asked, “You’re a heretical god. Don’t you have anything to say?”

The golden retriever froze, then shook his head.

Pu’er explained, “When a true god declines and is defeated by a stronger true god, they get redefined. That true god becomes a heretical god. However, there are also some who never create any church, yet possess power comparable to a true god, or cause terrifying crises and disasters, which leads to them being defined as heretical gods as well. This stupid dog should be one of the latter.”

The golden retriever nodded.

“Oh, I see.”

“What were you trying to ask him?” Pu’er asked.

“Nothing in particular. I’m only verifying the Church of Order’s road. I haven’t finished walking it yet, so I’m in no position to say what other roads are like.”

“Have you figured out how you’re going to walk it?” Pu’er asked curiously. “Yesterday, your eyes were very clear.”

“I’ll walk with my own legs, and I’ll see with my own eyes.”

“Then what you said is the same as saying nothing.”

“Woof!” The golden retriever barked at Pu’er.

Pu’er instantly glared at him and cursed, “Stupid dog, you dare look down on me?”

Out of all of the various systems, the family faith system sat at the very bottom of the chain of contempt. Those in other systems looked at family faith practitioners as they would a bunch of useless freeloaders who lived off of their elders.

“The concrete method is...” Images appeared in Karon’s mind of the threads he had seen at the start of his revelation, the strands that had wound around the people near him.

Of course, that image might have only existed to validate the revelation’s line: Order is what I decree, and what you must obey.

Still, you could say the conclusion was wrong, but you could not say that the method of proof was wrong.

“After we settle the matter of the queen staying at Allen Manor, I’ll prepare to move out.”

Pu’er shifted her neck, but did not speak.

“I’m going to buy a small apartment in York City and live there. My uncle and aunts already prepared a mortgage contract for me, so it can finally be put to use.

“Of course, it’s not that I’m uncomfortable living here in Allen Manor. Honestly, living here is too comfortable, and the more comfortable it is, the farther I move from the road I want to see and the road I want to walk.”

Karon pointed toward the book on the shelf, Light of Order. “If I keep living here, I can only keep walking forward through reading that, step by step. I don’t want that. I want to use reality to verify my thoughts, and then use my thoughts to try to answer reality.

“At this stage, I think a place where ordinary people live will be better for observation and thinking, and it gives me more immersion. Gods stand above people, yet come from people, so if I want to prove gods’ existence, I have to first look for the gods’ traces and rules within the crowd.

“That’s the method I’ve thought of: from the crowd, back into the crowd.”

Karon lowered his head and looked at Pu’er. “Of course, it’s not like I’ll never come back to Allen Manor. Like you said, the Allen family is useful. They can resolve many problems and offer many conveniences, but I want them to provide something that is more about what we need on our path of cultivation, not shelter and isolate me from life. In the future, we can come back to the manor once a month, or whenever we want a vacation, and stay here for a while.”

“I don’t mind,” Pu’er replied. “I want you to protect the Allen family, but it’s not like I’m demanding you live in Allen Manor. Honestly, home is a place that makes your heart panic when you haven’t returned in a long time, but once you do return, it’s just that.

“Also, do you know, I used to be curious as to why Tiz just sat there and watched Mason, Mary, Winnie, and the others all busy themselves preparing your mortgage contract to buy an apartment? Tiz is definitely aware of the Allen family’s financial power. Even if they’re down on their luck now, their mundane finances are quite secure.

“Now that I think about it, could Tiz have foreseen that after you moved into Allen Manor, you’d choose to move out again?”

“Tiz only condensed three godhead fragments; He’s not a god.”

Pu’er rolled her eyes at Karon. “Only you, his grandson, would dare say that.”

Alfred smiled. “If that’s the case, does it mean I’ll be able to eat food cooked by Young Master himself again in the future?”

“Woof, woof, woof!”

Pu’er directed another glare at the golden retriever and cursed him again, “Sweet and sour fish is mine, stupid dog!”

After scolding the golden retriever, Pu’er seemed to remember something and asked, “Will we take Borg with us?”

Alfred suggested, “He could serve as our liaison with Allen Manor in the future.”

The scariest part of a workplace was that a senior who had always treated you well and was willing to teach you, yet could, with a casual sentence, kick you out of the core circle.

Hmm.” Karon nodded. “I think that would work.”

“Then... what about Eunice?” Pu’er asked.

“She said that if I want to leave the manor, she’s willing to leave with me,” Karon said.

Obviously, Eunice did not need Alfred suggesting she act as any kind of liaison; The demonkin would not dare suggest it.

Karon clapped his hands. “It’s still a little early to talk about this. First, we have to deal with the queen’s matter. Alfred, how is your attunement ritual array preparation coming along?”

“I think there won’t be any problem. Also, I have a new suggestion.”

“Oh?”

“There’s a short section in Hoffen’s notes where he analyzed the Church of Order’s awakening Arts. He said that blood offerings from blood relatives can reduce the burden of awakening.”

“A blood offering, then.” Karon nodded. “Prepare it. That’s not hard. In any case, we need to ensure the highest success rate in awakening Earl Rekar, and on that basis, it’s best if I don’t pass out directly again.”

“Understood, Young Master, understood.”

“When we notify Anderson in the end, we do it according to the plan, and I’ll handle it,” Pu’er stated. “Then I’ll run up and down with the stupid dog again and check if there are any issues or omissions in the manor ritual array.”

At that moment, someone knocked on the bedroom door. Alfred walked over and opened it. “Mr. Bede.”

“Mm.” Bede held an easel. He looked at Karon sitting inside. “Young Master Karon, I’ve come to return the courtesy.”

“Please come in.”

Bede walked in. Seeing Karon sitting on the billiards table, he said, “The wind is rather strong here, Young Master.”

“Mhmm.” Karon stood and went to sit back on the sofa.

Bede set up the easel and prepared the paint, but did not start painting. He instead sat down on the small sofa across from Karon.

Pu’er rode the golden retriever past the man and left the bedroom.

“Such lively pets,” Bede commented.

“Yes,” Karon agreed.

Alfred brought two glasses of ice water and set them on the coffee table. He then also left the bedroom and closed the door.

“To be honest, having a cat in the house— no, having a black cat in the house, it really still feels unfamiliar,” Bede said as he lifted his glass with a smile.

In truth, Pu’er looked exactly like the cat in the paintings, but to a normal person’s eyes, a black cat was a black cat, and Pu’er’s temperament had changed dramatically over the past century.

Most importantly, because the Allen family followed a family faith system, the idea of an ancestor returning after more than a hundred years would be absurd to them. Without one’s thoughts traveling in that direction, Pu’er would never be suspected.

In fact, Borg, who had only recently joined the Allen family, was more likely to think along those lines.

“You’ll get used to it,” Karon said perfunctorily.

“Do you want a painting, Young Master?”

“I’m not good at painting.”

“You can describe it, and I can paint.”

“That would be perfect. Thank you for the trouble.”

“You are too polite, Young Master. I should be thanking you for the paint you gave me yesterday. It is very precious.”

“Can we start now?” Karon asked.

“Of course.” Bede set down his glass and adopted a listening posture.

Karon did not describe the image directly, but instead asked, “Mr. Bede, have you ever been deceived?”

“Deceived?” Bede smiled. “What kind of deception do you mean, Young Master?”

Karon had no intention of circling the matter, and instead simply raised a hand and pointed overhead. “God.”

Bede pursed his lips tightly, but his face did not reveal much surprise.

Karon observed him, and after a long time, Bede turned back to meet Karon’s eyes. “I think I can roughly guess that feeling.”

“Can you feel it now?” Karon asked with a smile.

“Yes.”

“Actually, I don’t want to describe a concrete scene. In the painting, what I want is that feeling, not a restoration of a specific form and setting. For me, that has no meaning.”

“Do you need to show pain?” Bede asked.

“No,” Karon said. “Remove your pain.”

Remove your pain. Bede’s body trembled slightly. “Can it really be removed?”

“If you begin with caution, begin with suspicion, then the pain is not much, and it might not even count as pain. If I walk to the roadside and ask a stranger for two rels for the tram and he refuses, why would I suffer because of that?”

“But in most people’s eyes, it’s not asking a stranger for two rels, it’s asking your own father for them.”

“I think that’s not my problem, but it is most people’s problem.”

“I understand.”

Bede picked up his brush and began to paint. His speed was still fast. To a certain extent, watching him paint did not feel like art being created. It was a little dull and mechanical.

Karon sat there for a while, then stood and stretched a bit.

“It will be done soon, Young Master Karon,” Bede said.

“Alright.” Karon asked, “So Mr. Bede also began with suspicion right from the start, correct?”

“Why do you ask that, Young Master?”

“Because I thought I would need to say a great many things, but I didn’t. The only thing that mattered was that one line.”

Remove your pain.

“It’s like the door to the studio. If you want to go in and paint, you have to get the key from the administrator. If you can’t get the key, you can never sit in front of the easel. And the premise for getting the key is to first agree with the administrator’s painting style.”

“Then didn’t Mr. Bede ever doubt the administrator’s taste?”

“I did.”

“And now?”

“I still do.”

“Then how did you get the key?”

“When I take the key, I am the one who holds the key. When I go in and paint, I am the one who is painting.”

Hearing that, Karon looked at the man who would soon be his father-in-law. That was why Tiz had met with Bede, and also why Tiz had cooperated with him. Anyone Tiz considered worth sitting down with would never be simple. High Priest Rasma had never been given that opportunity.

Of course, no one could guarantee if, at the very beginning, when Bede had first gone to Roja City, he had already been influenced by Tiz.

Piaget and Linda surfaced in Karon’s mind, as well as the scene of Piaget living alone in his house, longing for Linda.

There was a part of the man’s heart that believed in god, while another part held on to doubt, no, held on to something of the self.

“Mr. Bede.”

“Yes?”

“Have you ever seen a therapist?”

“A therapist? Me? No.”

“Do you think you need one? I think you might have dissociative identity disorder.”

“Those who obsess over art seem to have a bit of that.”

“That’s true.”

“Yesterday...”

“Yes?” Karon smiled. “You can ask anything you want.”

“Yesterday, when I saw you in so much pain, Young Master. Were you asking the administrator for the key?”

“The administrator offered me the key, but I didn’t take it.”

“You... didn’t take it?”

“Because I realized the door I wanted to enter wasn’t even locked.”

Bede stopped painting and shifted his gaze from the easel to Karon. A long time later, he smiled. “Once, someone I deeply respected said the same thing in the same tone as you, Young Master.”

“I think the person you respect is probably very familiar to me.”

“Heh. Yes.”

“You’re not going to keep painting?”

“It’s finished, Young Master.”

Bede turned the easel toward Karon.

The easel had been split down the middle from left to right. There was no clear dividing line, yet the styles on either side were entirely different, even opposed. On the left, lush grass spread across the ground, a stream flowed gently, and small animals played along its banks.

On the right, the world was locked in ice and snow. Everything was frozen. Scattered across the ground lay disturbing skeletons.

At the center sat a young man. His features resembled Karon’s, though they were not rendered in detail. He was positioned precisely along the dividing axis. The left side of his face was gentle, his gaze warm, touched with a faint smile. The right side was cruel, his eyes dark and twisted.

Above him, at the very center of the composition, a single angel hovered, but the angel’s halves were reversed; Its left side was decayed flesh, bones exposed. It was dark and corrupted like a fallen angel. Its right side bore white wings, radiant with sanctity and light.

The entire painting pushed the sense of contrast to the extreme. Most striking was the angel above, whose composition ran counter to the division of the rest of the canvas.

“Young Master, what do you think?”

“Perfect.”