1000x Random Returns: Investing in My Crippled Demon Wives!

Chapter 66: Chapter 66: Five Idiots and One Unfortunate Cremation!

The city shrank behind them, then vanished entirely.

Paved roads gave way to packed dirt. Buildings thinned, then disappeared. Within an hour, nothing remained but forest, distant mountains, and the occasional flying beast cutting lazy circles overhead.

Lucien leaned back against the carriage’s padded seat.

’So this is what’s actually out here, should probably see more of it someday, preferably woth the girls and not always while heading toward something that might kill me.’

”Anyone bring any snacks?” Kael asked.

”We’re heading into an A-Rank dungeon,” Lucien said.

”Exactly, that’s why I asked, got to stock up on the calories, can’t fight on an empty belly.”

Zalor laughed at the nonsense while Rika sighed. ”We packed two weeks of food, just don’t eat everything.”

Kael relaxed instantly. ”Perfect.”

”We’re only going for three or four days atmost,” Vex pointed out.

”That’s not the point, what if something happens, better to be prepared than not.”

”You’ve gotten stronger since the Goblin dungeon,” Rika said, studying him.

”I’ve been busy.”

”Cultivating?” Kael asked.

”Among other things, but mainly cooking.”

”You got stronger by cooking?”

”Yes?”

”He’s definitely hiding something,” Zalor said, grinning at him.

”Everyone has secrets,” Lucien said easily.

Vex glanced at him. ”True enough.”

’He’s not pushing,’ Lucien noted, filing that away. ’Good, it means he actually trusts me not to be a liability, even if he suspects there’s more going on.’

Rika pulled out a rolled map partway through the second hour, spreading it across her knees.

Large sections were simply marked UNKNOWN.

”Only the first few floors are mapped,” she said. ”Rules, before we go in. One, we don’t rush downward. Two, nobody splits from the party without good reason. Three, no engaging unknown monsters solo. Four, always keep an escape route open. Five, if someone gets seriously hurt, we retreat. No exceptions.”

Kael raised a hand. ”What if we find treasure?”

”We don’t abandon someone for treasure.”

”What if it’s really good treasure?”

”No.”

”Legendary?”

”No.”

”Mythical?”

Rika stared at him flatly. ”Then I throw you into the dungeon myself and keep the loot.”

Zalor howled with laughter. Kael looked genuinely wounded.

”What’s your role, exactly?” Rika asked Lucien, tapping the map. ”I lead, tank and deal damage, Vex scouts while controling the field, Zalor deals damage, Kael’s a meat shield, so what will you do?”

Lucien considered it. ”Depends on the situation, but mostly attacking.”

”That’s not a role.”

”Emergency problem solver, then.”

”That’s just a fancy way of saying idiot,” Kael said.

”I’ll remember you said that.”

Kael’s grin faded slightly. ”...You wouldn’t.”

”We’ll see.”

Rika mentioned the dungeon’s resources somewhere around the third hour, and Lucien’s ears perked up immediately.

”Blood Mana Crystals,” she said. ”Distinctive crimson color, blood-based mana signature. Guild’s only got a handful of samples so far of various ranks, dungeon’s too new.”

”Useful for cultivation?” Lucien asked, keeping his tone casual.

”Supposedly but it’s harder to refine than normal mana crystals, from what I’ve heard it’s good for those practicing blood Element cultivation techniques.”

’Interesting,’ Lucien thought. ’Blood-based mana, harder to process conventionally, but it might respond completely differently to my Talent, though. Worth testing out when I get some, I should also check for a Blood Element Cultivation Technique, could work better for me.’

He said nothing further, letting the thought settle for later.

They stopped for lunch a few hours in, pulling the carriage into a small clearing.

Vex had already tracked and dropped something mid-journey, a fat, red-scaled ground fowl with too many legs for Lucien’s comfort, and Kael insisted on cooking it himself something about knowing how to handle protein, which turned out to be a mistake.

”It’s supposed to be black on the outside, it adds flavor” Kael said defensively, holding up a charred leg.

”That’s not flavor, Kael, that’s completely cremated and ready to be put in a urn.” Zalor said.

Lucien took over without much ceremony, salvaging the meat and reworking it with the various seasonings he’d packed.

Ten minutes later, everyone was eating in appreciative silence.

”...Okay,” Kael admitted. ”Yours is better, just by a bit though.”

”I have 3 wives to feed,” Lucien said. ”So I gotta know how to cook.”

”3 wives, are you secretly a noble or something?”

”It’s a long story and one for another time.”

”Come on man, share your methods.” Kael begged Lucien.

While they ate, Lucien pulled out his phone, one bar of signal flickering weakly, and fired off a quick message to the family group chat.

Lucien: Stopped for lunch. Kael tried to cook and cremated our meal, we survived, barely thanks to my cooking.

Evelisse: LMAO you should tell him that he’s banned from our kitchens forever.

Seraphina: Is everyone alright? Any injuries?

Lucien: Just Kael’s pride.

Aurelia: Stay focused and update us when you reach the dungeon.

Evelisse: also I’m at E rank peak!! almost D!! WHERE ARE MY SNACKS

Lucien smiled, pocketing the phone.

’Good. All fine at home, somehow Evelisse is actually cultivating, seems like the world’s still spinning correctly.’

The environment shifted gradually through the afternoon from roads to the trees growing taller, denser, the light filtering down thinner and colder despite the clear sky.

”We’re getting close,” Rika said eventually, scanning the treeline.

Lucien felt it too. His senses prickled faintly, picking up something diffuse in the air itself, not a specific source, just an ambient thickness, the air here carriing a faint metallic taste.

’Lots of blood must have been spilled,’ he thought. ’We’re already feeling its influence, and we haven’t even reached the wilds fully yet.’

The carriage lurched to a stop without warning.

”Something’s wrong,” Vex said, already alert.

Rika stood. ”What is it?”

”The road.”

Several fallen trees blocked the path ahead, trunks splintered rather than cut.

Kael groaned. ”Seriously?”

”Something did this,” Zalor said, weapon already in hand.

A sound rippled through the trees, not a howl, but a low, wet clicking, like something dragging chitin across bark.

Red eyes blinked open in the shadows, dozens of them, low to the ground.

Segmented bodies emerged from the underbrush, centipede-like creatures the length of a grown man, crimson carapace glinting wetly, mandibles dripping something dark.

Crimson Crawlers.

”Not wolves this time,” Lucien muttered, mildly relieved.

”Would you have preferred wolves?” Zalor asked.

”Honestly, kind of.”

”Hah, I’ve had enough of those since the ironfang break, I much prefer this thing.” Kael shouted.

Rika drew her weapon. ”Stay together!”

The fight moved fast, Rika and Zalor holding the front, Vex picking off crawlers with precise shots from the flank, Kael wading in with enthusiastic, if imprecise, brute force.

Lucien engaged two at once, twin scythes spinning through a wide arc that caught one crawler across its segmented body, the chain looping between attacks to redirect momentum into the second.

He fought clean, fast, efficient and deliberately nowhere near his actual full strength.

’Beginner C-Rank pace,’ he reminded himself, hooking a crawler’s foreleg and yanking it off balance before finishing it with a downward strike. ’Nothing flashy and nothing that raises questions.

One crawler went down beneath his blade, dark crimson blood spraying across the forest floor.

He crouched beside it briefly amid the chaos, letting a thin thread of blood rise and gather into small vials without breaking stride.

’Later,’ he thought, tucking it away. ’I’ll test it properly when I’m alone.’

A larger shape crashed through the treeline moments later, a Bloodfang Crawler nearly twice the size of the others, carapace darker, mandibles longer, moving with unsettling speed.

”B-Rank,” Rika said, tone sharpening. ”The leader.”

”Finally,” Kael said, delighted.

”Don’t get careless!”

The bigger one lunged straight for Rika.

Lucien tensed to intervene, then held back, watching her meet the charge head-on, shield catching the mandibles and redirecting the creature’s momentum past her with practiced precision.

’She’s gotten stronger too,’ he realized, genuinely impressed. ’Not stealing this one, let her have it.’

The party converged, wearing the Alpha down together, and Rika delivered the finishing blow herself, axe driving clean through its skull.

It collapsed, twitching once before going still.

”Nice,” Zalor said, clapping her shoulder.

Rika allowed herself a small, satisfied smile. ”Told you we’d broken through.”

They cleared the fallen trees and continued on, the forest around them shifting further as the hours wore on, nothing dramatic, just a slow accumulation of wrongness. Leaves that should have been green carried faint red hues. Small animals darting through underbrush had eyes a shade too crimson and the dirt itself looking more red than normal.

”Welcome to the Bloodmoon Wilds.” Rika said quietly, as the treeline finally opened ahead of them.

The camp sprawled across a wide clearing, dozens of buildings, supply carriage’s, a makeshift Guild outpost, merchants hawking gear, healers tending minor injuries. Adventurers moved between it all in loose clusters, C-Rank parties mixed with a handful of B-Rank groups, and further off, several parties radiating unmistakable A-Rank presence.

”Damn theyove fast, ready built a small village amd it’s a busy one,” Kael said, impressed.

”New dungeon,” Vex said. ”Everyone wants first crack at it.”

Lucien caught snippets of conversation as they passed, someone bragging about a Blood Mana Crystal haul, another group comparing notes on a strange weapon pulled from a chest, a quieter cluster murmuring about a party that hadn’t been seen for two days already.

’Missing parties,’ Lucien thought, filing it away. ’That wasn’t in the official Guild report, though maybe they just went deeper or something.’

They settled into a make shift inn to get some rest, eat, and get ready. They left the carriage at the Guod building and headed for the dungeon hours later, all fully rested.

”So where’s the dungeon?” Kael asked as Rika lead the way after asking directions from another adventurer and after various turns they reached it.

At the center of the small make shift village, sat the dungeon entrance considerably less dramatic than Lucien had pictured.

No towering gates, no ominous carvings. Just a plain stone archway, weathered and unremarkable, with a swirling portal of deep crimson light where blue mana would normally churn and a few A rank guards standing on duty.

”That’s it?” Kael said, sounding faintly disappointed.

”What were you expecting?” Rika asked.

”I don’t know, something bigger, grander and scarier looking?”

”It’s a door,” Vex said. ”Doors don’t need to be impressive.”