Shadow Slave

“Your mind is a ruin already. It is as if someone tore out half of your heart and replaced it with fog. How can a castle stand on fog?”

That was what the Madness of Kanakht had told Nephis in the Eternal City.

Back then, she did not really understand what the abomination meant. She knew, of course, that parts of her memory were missing; however, without knowing what she had lost, it was difficult to assign the missing parts value. And since she did not feel the pain of having lost them, Nephis could not help but treat them as unimportant.

…She understood the Madness of Kanakht now.

It happened subtly. The Vile Thieving Bird escaped in the calamitous conflagration of the dying sun, taking Sunny with it. Having fallen behind, Nephis was left alone.

Below her, the Great River was boiling. She landed on one of the larger shards of the destroyed sun, its surface still incandescent with incinerating heat, and looked around. The world was obscured by billowing clouds of searing steam, so Nephis could not see anything.

She remained motionless for a while, then sighed and dismissed her Transcendent form. Free of the harrowing pain of her Flaw, Nephis was finally able to breathe freely — so, she assessed the situation and came to the conclusion that finding the Thieving Bird and Sunny would be impossible.

Sunny was going to have to finish the job alone. He was going to win… he had to. Nephis had no say in this matter anymore. All she could do was make it back to the present, where Ananke waited in the shattered Estuary — they did not know where the exit from the labyrinth of broken time was, after all, but they did know the starting point.

Returning to where it all began was her best chance of reuniting with Sunny.

So, commanding herself not to think about the possibility that he would lose the battle against the Thieving Bird, Nephis attempted to make her way back.

And as she did, Nephis could not help but feel lost in the oppressive solitude of the Tomb of Ariel. She was lost, alone, not knowing the way back — or if she would ever be able to get back, even.

It reminded her of the lonely journey she had undertaken once, crossing the Forgotten Shore and venturing into the Nightmare Desert.

And so, Nephis did what she had habitually done in the Nightmare Desert — she summoned her runes to check on Sunny. And there, she saw it…

Name: Sunless.

True Name: Lost from Light.

Rank: Supreme.

Class: Titan.

Nephis froze.

Her first reaction was the feeling of profound relief. He was alive, after all, somewhere out there. The Thieving Bird had not managed to destroy him.

The worry and fear Nephis had locked away in a deep, dark corner of her mind finally released their hold on her heart. She let out a shaky breath and sank to the ground, suddenly exhausted.

‘Thank the gods…’

Her second reaction was elation, because she could help him now. Nephis could feel his longing — it was the sole flame in the vast darkness of her ruined Domain, burning with far more intensity than any spark had burned before.

So, Nephis extended her Aspect toward the roaring flame and healed him, like she would an actual subject of her Domain. The Shadow Bond allowed it.

It was only when all was said and done, and she was sure that Sunny was not wounded and dying somewhere out there, that Nephis froze and looked into the distance with a slight frown.

‘Right… the Shadow Bond…’

The Shadow Bond had always been there. But why was she only remembering its existence now?

The memory of her lonely journey across the Forgotten Shore and the Nightmare Desert reminded her of how she used to summon Sunny’s runes and think about him. Where he was, what he was doing… what kinds of abominations he was fighting, and who was by his side.

These glimpses into the world that existed outside her monstrous reality had been Neph’s only connection to the human world, and also the only thing that had kept her from forgetting that she, too, was a human. That one memory was like a thread, and when Nephis pulled on it…

The rest of them surfaced from the depths of her mind one after another.

Meeting Sunny for the first time in front of the Academy gates… back then, Nephis had not paid him much attention — in truth, she had not even perceived him as a person. To her, he was merely a variable to be aware of. She evaluated him briefly, determining whether he was a threat or not, and then stayed aware of his movements in case he was.

Who knew that a boy she had randomly met would one day become the most important person in the world to her?

Things started to change when they met on the Forgotten Shore. Nephis suspected him of being an assassin sent by the Great Clans to kill her back then — too many things about him simply did not make sense. So, she was both wary of him and forced to rely on him, because having a second sword aimed at her enemies made a vital difference in the Dream Realm.

And then, slowly…

Nephis did not even notice the moment when he became important to her. She only realized it after Sunny left her in the Dark City… that he was vital to her — not as a sword, but as a person.

And that person left her.

Nephis was angry and indignant at first. She told herself that he would return to her after a few days, having realized that trying to survive alone in the Dark City was suicidal… but Sunny did not return, and her anger was slowly replaced by worry.

Then, when she learned that he was well, living among the Nightmare Creatures somewhere in the Dark City, her worry was replaced with a complicated mixture of relief and resentment.

It was a mess of emotions she had never experienced before and did not know how to handle.

Nephis was quite inexperienced back then, and handling complicated emotions was not her strong suit — because most of those emotions were new to her.

Her childhood was extremely sheltered, after all. She had only ever interacted with a few people, and all of them were retainers of her clan — not because her grandmother was smothering her, but simply because people had been trying to kill Nephis since she was a young child.

The circle of people around her was narrow by necessity, and her opportunities to experience life outside the tall walls of the Immortal Flame manor were few and far between. And as the Immortal Flame clan slowly came to ruin, the circle only grew smaller.

She had never gone to school. She had never had a friend of her age. She had never done all the things that children usually did, learning how to interact with other people and learn their own emotions in the process.

…That was why Sunny and Cassie easily managed to occupy such a large place in her heart. They were the first people outside the retainers of the Immortal Flame clan that she had interacted with so closely — and so intensely, as well.

Cassie was someone who relied on her, just like the rest of the Sleepers of the Dark City. Sunny, though…

Sunny was the only one who defied her. He was the only one who challenged her. He was unpredictable and uncomfortable, and Nephis kept being bothered by him.

But she also found comfort in him. Because out there on the Forgotten Shore, he was the only one who made her feel like she was not alone.

Her feelings toward Sunny were not romantic, at first. They couldn’t be, because that word wasn’t in Neph’s vocabulary.

She simply did not have a concept of feeling that way about someone — in fact, the spectrum of emotions she knew how to recognize was quite limited back then, and skewed to a darker side. Not to mention that romance was the last thing on their mind as they struggled desperately to survive on the Forgotten Shore.

But then, gradually, things changed. The more there was friction between them, the more they both recognized the nature of their bond. Only there was never a right time to act on it — and neither of them knew how, either.

They messed it all up a few times. Nephis messed up the most.

But she remembered…

The Academy, the coral labyrinth of the Forgotten Shore, the Dark City… meeting him again in NQSC, spending time together on the Ivory Island, fighting side by side in the Battle of the Black Skull…

Braving the Nightmare Desert, entering the Tomb of Ariel, and exploring the vast expanse of the Great River.

Once she remembered one thing, the memories poured in like a flood.

And she remembered how, at some point, Sunny had become an inseparable part of her life… of her. So much so that imagining a life without him seemed impossible.

It was not entirely welcome or pleasant, because having a part of yourself that you could not control felt disquieting. But, at the same time, it was sweet and exciting, making Nephis think of what could be.

But before anything could happen…

Sunny left again. This time, he even took her memories of their bond with him.

And without Sunny, Nephis became incomplete. Sunny was the first person Nephis had connected with, so when that connection suddenly disappeared, she became untethered from humanity.

Nephis finally understood what the Madness of Kanakht had meant.

Her mind had indeed been like a castle built on fog. Because one of its cornerstones was missing.

And now, the cornerstone was back.

There was a new set of memories added to the old ones.

Meeting the Lord of Shadows and being challenged to a duel by him. Paying a visit to a handsome enchanter who owned a quaint Memory shop, and feeling flustered by his attention. Sharing a kiss on the eve of war… fighting side by side in Godgrave. Facing the Sovereigns together, and emerging victorious.

These were the big moments. But there were countless smaller, tender moments as well.

Sunny was her partner. His existence brought her warmth and comfort. She cherished him… but he was also mysterious and withdrawn, and their relationship felt incomplete, just like Nephis was.

Now, these two sets of memories were in conflict, and she couldn’t quite understand how to feel about it.

Was she supposed to be angry?

Was she supposed to be overcome with joy? Did she want to accuse him… or embrace him?

As Nephis followed Ananke’s thread through the maze of broken time, she got lost in the memories.

She just couldn’t fathom how to feel.

So, in the end, she decided not to think about how to feel, and listened to her feelings instead.

And what she heard…

Was happiness.

It was a happiness so profound that it made her heart ache.

Her lover was back. He had been by her side all along, but now, he was back.

They could finally be together.

But…

For how long?

Nephis felt like she finally found something precious that she had lost… something she had always longed for, but could never have.

Until now.

It was precious beyond belief, and sweeter than anything she could imagine. It was irreplaceable.

But because of that, she was suddenly afraid of losing it again.

Because Sunny had already abandoned her once.

And so…

Nephis asked him to promise that he would never leave her again.

And when he did, a sense of peace and tranquility finally settled on her scorched heart.

Because she knew that Sunny never lied… that he could not lie.

Which meant that when he said that not even gods and demons would be able to make him leave her again, he was telling the truth.

Hearing his promise, Nephis finally felt complete again.

The missing half of her heart had returned to its rightful place.

The castle of her mind did not stand on fog anymore…

It stood on the foundation of that dire promise.

The promise Sunny made would have sounded like a figure of speech if spoken by anyone else, but for him and Nephis, it was quite real.

Because they were bound to face gods and demons in battle one day… one day soon. Nephis smiled.

But not today.

After all these years spent apart, finding and losing each other…

Today, they could simply be together.