Shadow Slave

Nephis inhaled deeply and then turned away from the ruins of the Spire she had destroyed. Her lips curved into a bittersweet smile.

“It might not look like it from the outside, considering how glorious and exalted the image of Changing Star, the last daughter of the Immortal Flame, is. But what led me here was not a string of triumphant victories. Rather, to me, it seems like the story of my life is a story of being defeated over and over again, losing everything over and over again, not knowing how to give up. So, if I do have one virtue, that virtue is perseverance… not valor.”

She sighed and gazed upon the desolate expanse of the Forgotten Shore with a distant look in her eyes.

“When I came here… I was so young. So naive. I did not know anything and did not have anything — except for my anger. I was so full of anger that it felt like it was scathing me from the inside, and I naively believed that my anger would take me as far as I wanted to go. But, of course, there were a lot of lessons I had to learn.”

Nephis looked down.

“It was smooth sailing at the start, but once I reached the Dark City, the cracks began to show. People I trusted the most lost confidence in me and left me. I managed to defeat Gunlaug, just like I had planned to, but everything after that was a mess. I never expected that seizing power after his death would be so difficult. Every person who died in the senseless civil war that followed was one less warrior to lay siege to the Crimson Spire, and every death felt like a personal failure of mine.”

She smiled bitterly.

“There were more than a thousand Sleepers in the Dark City when I arrived. And that number was reduced by more than half before we even reached the Crimson Spire. In the end, only a hundred made it out alive… and while I was still alive, I did not make it out. Needless to say, I would hesitate to call that a victory.”

Sunny listened to her silently. He could not explain that he had been there, too… that he had been by her side, surviving the same events, and learning the same lessons. That she had stayed behind so that he could escape. So, he couldn’t do anything but stay quiet.

It was fascinating, though, to hear about the events of that distant past from her perspective. Nephis had seemed like an icon of stalwart, uncompromising certainty to him back then. It was odd to know that she had been nothing more than an angry, naive kid who doubted herself and was hurt by her failures, just like the rest of them.

It was just that she had hidden her vulnerable side well…

No, actually, it was that she had been given no choice but to hide her vulnerable side.

She was their leader, after all, so she could not show weakness in front of people who saw her as their only hope — because if she did, their last hope would be shattered. Sunny had experienced the same burden much later, in Antarctica.

He sighed.

“You were just a teenager, thrown into an impossible situation by the Nightmare Spell. You did your best… and your best was damn good. No one else would have been able to do better.”

Sunny certainly would not have. His plan back then had been to hide and live the rest of his life in the Dark City, slowly going insane while forgetting what the word hope even meant.

He had been young and naive, too.

Nephis smiled slightly.

“Well. It wasn’t all bad, to be honest — even if I failed to escape, I learned a valuable lesson here, on the Forgotten Shore. I learned that the end did not justify the means, and that I only wanted to succeed in a manner that felt worthy. It is a good thing that I learned that precious lesson so early, all those years ago. If I didn’t… somewhere along the way, I would have probably become nothing more than just another King of Swords, just another Queen of Worms, or just another Dreamspawn. I would have become the very thing that I hate.”

She sighed and looked east.

“After the Crimson Spire was destroyed, I was still full of single-minded confidence. That confidence was only broken in my Second Nightmare, where I suffered an utter, crushing defeat. And with my confidence… I was broken, as well. It broke me.”

Nephis shook her head.

“Later, I had to bow my head to the tyrants I hated, smile at the man whom I wanted to kill, bide my time while the Great Clans were allowing the Chain of Nightmares to consume Antarctica, and close my eyes to the crimes they committed against humanity. I was overly cautious and hesitant… I was a coward. And I only managed to regain my resolve in the depths of the Third Nightmare. In Twilight.”

She chuckled and looked at Sunny. “However, even that was only possible because of someone else. After all, in the original cycle of the Great River, I died. I was killed by my own companions. That was where my story was supposed to end, I guess… but it did not. And I don’t even know why.”

Nephis looked at him, lingered for a few moments, and then said:

“You’d know better than I do.”

Sunny was startled by her words. Before he could come up with an answer, though, she already looked away.

“After the Tomb of Ariel came the greatest of my perceived triumphs. Attaining Supremacy, slaying the Sovereigns, and usurping their throne… becoming the ruler of humanity. But if I were truly as valiant and intrepid as people think, there would have never been a war in Godgrave. I would have defeated the Sovereigns long before they could cause all that death and all that devastation. You know it well — our victory there was the result of a desperate gamble. It was luck.”

Sunny studied her for a while, then shook his head.

“You are right, it was luck. However, luck is not something that happens to you. It’s something that you make happen. Luck only offers its hand to those who can grasp it. So, don’t sell yourself short.”

Nephis chuckled.

“Perhaps.”

She lingered for a while, then looked at the black barrow one last time.

“l am Supreme now — the shining goddess of humanity. Yet still, the Dreamspawn crushed me effortlessly as soon as he arrived. I couldn’t do anything to thwart him, so I was defeated once again. Look around us. In the end, all I could do was abandon my people and run away.”

Sunny raised an eyebrow and asked in a teasing tone:

“So, what? Are you going to give up?”

Nephis faced him and smiled.

“Naturally not. As I said, perseverance is my only virtue. It doesn’t matter how many defeats I suffer, because I am always the one left standing in the end. I always rise back up, no matter how many times I’m pushed to the ground. Because I am still naive… and young… and I still don’t know how to give up. Being good at failure is also a skill, you know.”

Turning away from the barrow, she headed back to the Chain Breaker.

“So, let’s make sure to win this time. When this is over, the Dreamspawn will be the one sprawled in the mud, while we will be the ones standing above him. Because…” She glanced at Sunny and winked.

“You and me. Who dares to stop us?”